`I was studying the C# language one day and thought back to earlier in my career. Back then I was learning the assembly language for a little 8 bit Hitachi CPU (the 6303) in order to control a small thermal printer. With the right control codes you could get the printer to display a custom message on the LCD. Then I was walking by the HP Laser printer in the office and wondered if I could do the same here. Once I uncovered the Printer Job Language Reference from HP, I realized this could be fun. After all, who would not get a kick out of a printer with the message “TOUCH ME” on the LCD?’
With source code. I might give this a try, just for fun. 🙂
`Are 20 movie channels on demand just not enough?
Do constant reruns of “I Love the ’80s” on VH1 have you ready to gouge out your eyeballs?
Then come to Al Jessup’s house — where his 5,000-plus radio and television stations from around the world beamed in by his 12 satellite dishes are bound to keep you entertained somehow.’
`Police Officer Kenneth Fleming has cost the City of Philadelphia and an insurance company nearly $1 million in legal settlements.
In one case alone, $750,000 was paid to settle a suit brought by a minister who was nearly paralyzed when Fleming threw him to the ground at Philadelphia International Airport.
Fleming has been suspended for punching a court officer in front of a sitting judge, and for performing a strip search in public. He’s been called a liar by the Police Department’s own internal investigators.
And, yet, the 24-year veteran of the force remains on the job.’
`Prostitutes as old as 70 continue to work in rural Australia, pushed out of the cities due to strong competition from younger and more attractive sex workers, the author of a study said on Tuesday. [..]
The research, by John Scott of the University of New England, examined prostitution in rural areas of New South Wales state. He found the sex industry has flourished in rural towns, with many prostitutes making regular visits.
“I’ve likened some of them to traveling musicians, in that some of them might be based in metropolitan centers and they go out and travel — they tour the bush,” Scott told Reuters.’
This is very gory and probably not safe for work.
Here’s your war on terror, you cunts.
`A leading psychologist has dismissed as “offensive” and “insane” a policy adopted by Qantas and Air New Zealand’s not to seat men next to unaccompanied children.
The policy came to light when an Auckland man, Mark Worsley, was asked to shift seats on a Qantas flight because an unaccompanied child had been assigned the seat next to his.
“At the time I was so gobsmacked that I moved. I was so embarrassed and just stewed on it for the entire flight,” Mr Worsley, a 37-year-old father of two-year-old twins, told the New Zealand Herald.’
This is pretty disgusting. People seem to like to play pranks on each other while they’re on they toilet. If a friend did this to me there’d be trouble.
(9.4meg Windows Media)
`A local mother is behind bars, accused of pouring bleach over macaroni and cheese and trying to serve it to her family for dinner. [..]
O’Donnell’s daughter said she smelled bleach, tasted the dinner and then spit it out once she realized what it was.’
`She’s one in a million. Well, technically, I guess she’s sort of two in a million. That is, she has two vaginas, two uteruses and two cervixes.
On the other hand, J’s uterus didelphys – the technical name for her matching lady bits – is, according to one of the many gynecologists who’ve poked around down there over the years, literally one in a million. In and around there, anyway.
“It’s really, really rare,” J proudly explains. “There are more cases of women having just two wombs or just two vaginas or two cervixes, but I’ve got the whole kit times two.”
Well, except the clitoris.
“Are you kidding?” laughs J. “If I had two clits, I’d never leave the house!”‘
`O’Meara’s love of a good joke was well-known in West Hartford. Courant columnist Ken Cruickshank wrote in 1976 of a practical joke O’Meara once played on local police. O’Meara dragged a friend who had passed out from too many martinis onto a Ridgewood Road lawn, strapped a parachute to his back, and called local police, telling them “something fell out” of an airplane “and it landed on a lawn near my house.”‘
`Fishermen from both sides of the Irish border netted an unexpected early Christmas present, hauling in bottles of cream liqueur near the English coast, a drinks company said.
The bottles of Carolans Irish Cream liqueur were part of a consignment of 8,000 bottles lost last month when a container was swept overboard in a storm in the Bay of Biscay.
The fishermen’s nets brought up the bottles in special presentation packs that had been destined for the Christmas market in Spain — so they scored not only a tipple but also the glasses from which to drink it.’
`The Universal Theory of Gravity is often taught in schools as a “fact,” when in fact it is not even a good theory.
First of all, no one has measured gravity for every atom and every star. It is simply a religious belief that it is “universal.” Secondly, school textbooks routinely make false statements. For example, “the moon goes around the earth.” If the theory of gravity were true, it would show that the sun’s gravitational force on the moon is much stronger than the earth’s gravitational force on the moon, so the moon would go around the sun. Anybody can look up at night and see the obvious gaps in gravity theory.
The existence of tides is often taken as a proof of gravity, but this is logically flawed. Because if the moon’s “gravity” were responsible for a bulge underneath it, then how can anyone explain a high tide on the opposite side of the earth at the same time? Anyone can observe that there are 2 — not 1 — high tides every day. It is far more likely that tides were given us by an Intelligent Creator long ago and they have been with us ever since. In any case, two high tides falsifies gravity.’
Impressive skills displayed by a parachuter. The landing is spectacular. 🙂
(1.1meg Windows Media)
see it here »
`The device, called the Mosquito (“It’s small and annoying,” Stapleton said), emits a high-frequency pulsing sound that, he said, can be heard by most people younger than 20 and almost no one older than 30. The sound is designed to so irritate young people that after several minutes, they cannot stand it and go away. [..]
At first, members of the usual crowd tried to gather as normal, repeatedly going inside the store with their fingers in their ears and “begging me to turn it off,” Gough said. But he held firm and neatly avoided possible aggressive confrontations: “I told them it was to keep birds away because of the bird flu epidemic.”‘
`Miami police announced Monday they will stage random shows of force at hotels, banks and other public places to keep terrorists guessing and remind people to be vigilant.
Deputy Police Chief Frank Fernandez said officers might, for example, surround a bank building, check the IDs of everyone going in and out and hand out leaflets about terror threats. [..]
Police Chief John Timoney said there was no specific, credible threat of an imminent terror attack in Miami. But he said the city has repeatedly been mentioned in intelligence reports as a potential target.’
Keep ’em scared so they don’t have time to think. That’s how they do it in the land of the free and the home of the brave. I’d say we’re upto about September of 1983 by now.
Update: Another article says there won’t be random ID checks. My mistake. It’s only August 1983.
`A spur of the moment decision cost a 16-year-old boy his life after he decided to try to lower himself out of a high-rise apartment with bedsheets to avoid get caught in the home by a female friend’s parents.
The boy plunged to his death from a 15th-floor apartment in the city’s east end Saturday night.
The boy – who is not being identified by police – didn’t want to get in trouble for visiting a girl while her parents weren’t home.’
Have you ever wanted to trick your friends into burying their nose in some guys arse? Well, this is how you do it.
(1meg Windows Media)
see it here »
`In a moment Annie was on his side, Madame Lai was like a plant growing over him, and her little fist (holding the biggest black pearl) was up his asshole planting the pearl in the most appreciated place.
“Oh, Lord,” he cried out. “I’m a-comin’!”
She could not answer. It is the one drawback of fellatio as conscientious as hers that it eliminates the chance for small talk and poetry alike. But nothing is exactly perfect in this life, and for Annie Doultry the delicate but firm pressure on his rear parts was in perfect harmony with the eruption of his cock. He came and he came – we are dealing with a hero here. At one point his lover backed away to inspect the unaltered gush of it, like a plumber saying to a customer, “Don’t blame me. This water supply will stop when the dam’s empty.”‘
Hot girl twirling a butterfly knife about like crazy.
(1.1meg Windows Media)
`He works at a Wendy’s, and his name is Ronald MacDonald — but now he may be known as the Hamburglar.
Two workers at a Wendy’s in Manchester have been charged with taking money from the safe. One of the suspects is Ronald MacDonald.’
He doesn’t look like a happy clown in the picture.
Lighting jumping jacks on the bare skin of your back will burn you.
I knew this before these Danish fellows decided to make a video to prove it. 🙂
see it here »
`Fatter rear ends are causing many drug injections to miss their mark, requiring longer needles to reach buttock muscle, researchers said on Monday.
Standard-sized needles failed to reach the buttock muscle in 23 out of 25 women whose rears were examined after what was supposed to be an intramuscular injection of a drug.
Two-thirds of the 50 patients in the study did not receive the full dosage of the drug, which instead lodged in the fat tissue of their buttocks, researchers from The Adelaide and Meath Hospital in Dublin said in a presentation to the annual meeting of the Radiological Society of North America. [..]
“There is no question that obesity is the underlying cause. We have identified a new problem related, in part, to the increasing amount of fat in patients’ buttocks,” [a researcher] said.’
Good trick, that one. I bet his opponent never saw it coming.
This clip makes my friend Zac laugh hysterically. But, he’s a dud, so that doesn’t mean anything. 🙂
(350k MPEG)
I’ve been looking more at one of the sites linked from the Would You Like Some Jesus With Your Latte? post below. There’s a lot of really interesting stuff there. Dealing with debunking pseudoscience, quackery and all round general stupidity. Check out the Comments and Article section in particular.
Also worth a look as the Australian Skeptics webstie.
I think I’ve probably linked to the Skeptic’s website, if not both of these sites, before. But they’re well worth a second look, especially if you despise, as I do, the rampant idiocy that a good percentage of society seems to have succumed too.
That’s what they’re doing alright. No doubt about it.
`This makes sense when you think about it. Cars have computers and computers have always had hidden Easter eggs and cheat codes, so it was inevitable that someone would find a cheat code hidden inside a car. Case in point: here’s way to disable the traction/skid control systems called VDIM on the Lexus IS:
“start the car with the parking brake on ….then foot brake twice….(keep the foot brake down)….then parking brake twice (keep it down )and repeat till skid light is on the dash…..it will reset when you restart the car”‘
`A top aide to former Secretary of State Colin Powell said Monday that wrongheaded ideas for the handling of foreign detainees arose from White House and Pentagon officials who argued that “the president of the United States is all-powerful” and the Geneva Conventions irrelevant.
In an Associated Press interview, former Powell chief of staff Lawrence Wilkerson also said President Bush was “too aloof, too distant from the details” of postwar planning. Underlings exploited Bush’s detachment and made poor decisions, Wilkerson said.
Wilkerson blamed Vice President Dick Cheney, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld and like-minded aides. He said Cheney must have sincerely believed that Iraq could be a spawning ground for new terror assaults, because “otherwise I have to declare him a moron, an idiot or a nefarious bastard.”‘
`Since Gary Gilmore on January 17, 1977 said “let’s do it” over 700 persons have been executed by various means around the country. Twenty-five of those case are identified below as having occurred despite reasonable doubts as to the guilt of the person executed In half of those cases the evidence suggests more than a reasonable doubt, but the likelihood, and in six cases, a strong likelihood, of an innocent person having been executed.’
