Archive for September, 2004

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Friday, September 24, 2004

 

Five ways to impress your girlfriend

Again, if anyone asks, I suggest you invoke the “Ancient Practice!” clause. 🙂


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Labia Stretching

I just like the way they’ve used “ANCIENT PRACTICE” as a caption for that photo. 🙂 It’s safe for work: just yell “Ancient Practice!” if anyone asks what you’re looking up on the web.


Mandonna

`the all-male all-live tribute to the material girl!’

with videos. 🙂


SingleNinjas.com

`This site is for fellow Ninjas to get together to meet and to have fun! So whether you’re looking for a new training partner or someone to help you with your next assassination attempt, you’ll be sure to find them right here!!’


Jump’n’Rhyme

German hip-hop side-scrolling shooter. The music is just grand. 🙂


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Steer Clear of Lloyd in the Brown Car

`According to UK internet car insurer,esure, your first name and the colour of car that you choose can make a big difference to how likely you are to make a claim on your car insurance.

Almost a third (30%) of men called Lloyd are likely to make a claim on their car insurance over the course of a year, and the same is true of more than a third (35%) of women named Natasha.’


Elton John calls Taiwan media `vile pigs’

`”Do you know what that means? Rude, vile pigs. That’s what all of you are.”

One of the photographers shouted back: “Why don’t you get out of Taiwan?”

John replied: “We’d love to get out of Taiwan if it’s full of people like you. Pig! Pig!”‘


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Klingons for Kerry

`The poll, conducted when the DVD release of the Star Trek fan documentary Trekkies 2 attracted Portland’s Klingon community [..], may spell trouble for President George W. Bush. [..]

“On the home world, if there had been a contested election between Gore and Bush, the honorable thing would be for Gore to kill Bush,” explained Khraanik (Earth name: Jason Lewis), a 38-year-old from Southeast Portland.’


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Police Arrest Suspect In Umbrella Killing

`A Bridgeport man has been charged with manslaughter, accused of killing another man with an umbrella. [..]

Luther Williams, 50, died at Bridgeport Hospital Tuesday as a result of a traumatic brain injury suffered in the attack.

According to police, Williams and Hill were arguing on a Bridgeport street about money. Police said that Hill, who was carrying an umbrella, swung it around and plunged it into Williams’ eye.’


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Handspringing protester damages art in Germany

`Yelling loudly, the 35-year-old woman attacked “Office Baroque,” a cutout section of wall by American artist Gordon Matta-Clark, doing a series of head-over-heels flips before landing on the work in a handstand, punching both her arms through the drywall, said Klaus Dieter Lehmann, president of Berlin’s Prussian Cultural Heritage Foundation.’


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Video-Store Sicko Is Rated Pee-G

`The bizarre episode began at 12:30 a.m. [..] as the manager was closing up for the night, police sources said.

The manager went up to Steven Scott, 33, and asked him to leave, but the stubborn customer refused, authorities said.

Scott became so enraged that he pulled down his pants and urinated on some merchandise in the store, sources said.

After swiping four DVDs and a blank tape, Scott fled the store, the sources said.’


Torn Off A Strip

`A football trainer who hung a 16year-old player by his wrists naked from goalposts and used him for penalty target practice has been sacked. The scandal happened near Bonn, Germany.’

That’s all there is on this one.


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Fat Children Cost U.S. Schools Money

`Obese children are costing U.S. schools millions of dollars every year in lost funding and may be lowering test scores as well, a report released by a former U.S. surgeon general said on Thursday. [..]

“The majority of American youth are sedentary and do not eat well,” the report says.’


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Hunter Hears Crunching Sound As Bear Bites His Head

`A 66-year-old hunter is recovering from a grizzly bear attack in Wyoming that left him bloodied but not beaten.

“I’m ready to go hunting again once I get out of here,” Wally Cash said Wednesday, even though he might have to wait until his 20 stitches are taken out.’


Rate my Boob Job

You can rate anything these days.


Jurors hear voicemail message in stabbing trial

`Pring-Wilson left a message for Jennifer Hansen, a former girlfriend he had been out with that night. In the message, Pring-Wilson tells Hansen he was attacked as he walked home from the bar they had just left.

“I just got attacked by a group. I fended them off. I stabbed him a couple of times and um, don’t repeat this to the police,” Pring-Wilson is heard to say on the tape.

Prosecutors consider the message a key piece of evidence.’


Prostitute soccer girls banned

`A Guatemala soccer team made up of prostitutes cried foul after being ejected from a tournament because of their profession.

“Just for being prostitutes, society marginalises us, and we want to exercise our rights as women and as mothers,” said the team captain, Valeria, who did not give her last name.’


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Man Legally Changes His Name to ‘They’

`A Branson man has put a face to the anonymous references people often make to “they” by changing his name to just that: “They.” [..]

It’s just They, no surname.

He also has changed his driver’s license to reflect his new name.

They said he did it for humor to address the common reference to “they.”‘


Piled Higher and Deeper

`a grad student comic strip’


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Thursday, September 23, 2004

 

Beams Used to Close Flood Gates Stolen

`It’s a good thing Huntington didn’t need to close it’s flood gates as the Ohio River flooded this week because some of the equipment used to do so has been stolen.

When a floodgate is closed, aluminum beams are stacked on top of each other to the desired height, said Dave Maynard, the floodwall’s superintendent. [..]

About 70 aluminum beams have been stolen from storage buildings along the floodwall over the past 18 months, Maynard said.’


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The Official God FAQ


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Iranian woman wants only to be beaten once a week

`An Iranian woman, beaten every day by her husband, asked a court to tell him only to beat her once a week, [..]

“Just tell him to beat me once a week … Beating is part of his nature and he cannot stop it,” Maryam told the court. [..]

“If I do not beat her, she will not be scared enough to obey me,” the husband said.’


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Sweet Discovery at Centre of Milky Way

`Astronomers have found a cloud of frozen sugar near the centre of our galaxy, the Milky Way, it was revealed today.

The discovery heightens the possibility of early building blocks of life originating in interstellar space.

Molecules of a simple sugar, glycolaldehyde, were detected in a cloud of gas and dust called Sagittarius B2 about 26,000 light years away.’


Automakers Give Biodiesel a Boost

`”All of the major automotive manufacturers are struggling to find new ways to meet ever-increasing European and North American emissions and fuel-economy standards, and it appears that biodiesel is the most tangible option available right now,” according to Dan Kahn, road test editor for automotive website Edmunds.com.’


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Soviets Planned “Invulnerable” Moon HQ

`Soviet scientists considered the Moon to be a very good place for a strategic headquarters as nuclear strikes on its surface would lose most of their destructive force. As the moon has no atmosphere, no shockwave could spread there and the radioactive dust would immediately fall out back on the surface without an atmosphere to carry it.’


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Hurricanes and Magic Mushrooms

`Recent hurricanes like Charley, Ivan, Frances and Jeanne have been bad for homeowners but they could be a real trip for hippies.

According to ethnobotanist Clark Heinrich, psychedelic — or “magic” — mushrooms commonly crop up when areas receive more rain than usual.’


Morphine Apparently in Your Head

`Several persistent researchers finally have proof for a theory they have held for more than a decade, despite dissent from the larger scientific community: Morphine occurs naturally in the human brain. [..]

Meinhart Zenk [et al.] found that human cells grown in a dish synthesized morphine.’


Drag Marks Lead Police to Alleged Thief

`The man allegedly took an engine, transmission, compressor and a bucket for a front end loader early Sunday, said Deputy Chief Brian O’Keefe. The equipment was worth about $4,500, he said.

The suspect apparently made several trips to his house about five blocks away, pulling the goods by a cable, leaving grooves in the road, O’Keefe said.

Detectives arrested him Sunday.’


Human Firework Target

(3.7meg Windows media)

see it here »


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Internet junkies in chilling cold turkey experiment

`Participants in the human experiment were deprived of the web for 14 days, and found themselves quickly succumbing to “withdrawal and feelings of loss, frustration and disconnectedness”.’