`Rugged Randy is soft, lovable and has disproportionately large genitalia.
He is pretty much the greatest plush toy ever created, and one of a kind. He is one of the few dolls ever manufactured to escape the toy factory before being processed in the de-genitalizing machine. De-genitalizing is a final cleansing stage used in doll production to streamline all crotch regions of children’s dolls, helping parents everywhere avoid tough sex and gender based questioning.’
`Okay, I like Star Wars as much as the next person who was a child during the late 70’s/early 80’s, but there are some people who are just a little *too* into it. These people go to conventions. They dress up. Some better than others. I of course choose to share with you the latter group. These are all pictures from a Star Wars convention from a site my co-worker decided would be a good idea to share with me. Now, I share with you.’
`Lake Jackson woman is accused of hiding nearly two dozen children in a closet while being investigated for running an unlicensed daycare. [..]
“My inspector asked her if she was hiding children and the provider admitted to having them hidden,” said Virginia Hancock with a day care licensing agency. “There were 23 children in a closet.”‘
`MYTH #1: “Men can pee standing up”
Fact: The reality is men can NOT pee standing up without getting as much as a stray drop on the seat or the outside surface of the toilet. Fragmentation of the urine stream causes particles of urine to dissipate. The larger the distance urine has to travel, the bigger the dissipation radius gets. [..]
MYTH #2: “It’s a victimless crime.”
Fact: Peeing standing up destroys families. Who cleans the bathrooms in your house? Your mother? Your wife? Even if you clean up after yourself, what happens when you are a guest at someone’s home, over at your friend’s house, visiting the inlaws, or using a public bathroom? Why should someone else have to suffer for your unwillingness to sit down?’
I thought 2.5 gigapixels was cool, but 4 gigapixels is even better.
There’s a nice picture of Half Dome in which you can see two climbers from 2.5 miles away.
`A former American guard at the Nuremberg trials has come forward to say he believes he provided the poison that Nazi Hermann Goering used to commit suicide hours before his scheduled execution for war crimes, the Los Angeles Times reported Monday.
Herbert Lee Stivers, now 78, was a 19-year-old army private when he took notes and a capsule hidden inside a fountain pen to Goering at the request of two men who said the notorious Nazi general was a very sick man who needed medicine, the newspaper said. [..]
“I felt very bad after his suicide. I had a funny feeling; I didn’t think there was any way he could have hidden it on his body,” Stivers said.’
`The Great John is substantially more robust than a standard toilet. Standard designs are not meant to withstand a big person.
For STABILITY, we designed a super wide base. To insure STURDINESS, we also added reinforcements into the base. Our toilets are tested to 2000 lb. To eliminate the problem of the SEAT SLIDING, we provide “Anti-Side” fins for safety. This also prevents pinching.
Finally, GJ has added a second SET OF ANCHORS at the front sides of the base to increase protection against movement of the unit from the floor.’
`A North Carolina man is selling a brick that appears to feature the face of Jesus, according to Local 6 News report. [..]
Ditto Dalcher said he was sitting in his home and noticed the face above his fireplace. [..]
Dalcher noticed how much money people were making off of the Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich and Jesus in a skillet and decided to share what he found, according to the report.
The bids on eBay were at $500 early Monday.’
`This proposed expedition would like to conduct some scientific observations in the Arctic that is hoped will resolve once and for all whether the hollow earth theory has any validity. The indigenous Eskimos believe there is a hole in the Arctic Ocean. Observations of several Arctic explorers of mirages of land in the Arctic indicate that the most plausible location for a north polar opening that leads into the interior of the earth is located at 84.4 N Latitude, 141 E Longitude. To check out this theory, a group of hollow earth believers and scientists would like to charter a Russian Nuclear Icebreaker into the Arctic sea.’
These people seem quite serious. Also have a look at the Location and Size of the Polar Openings.
`Jack Osbourne is giving up fame to be a fireman. The 19-year-old says he is fed-up with being a celebrity, after starring in hit TV series The Osbournes, and is now desperate to lead a ‘normal’ life.
Inspired by the brave heroes of 9/11, the former drug addict plans to enrol in a course with the New York firefighters. The single-and-searching teenager also quipped the uniform could get him a girlfriend.’
He’ll go from being a famous tubby loser to a firefighting tubby loser. Good stuff.
`US scientists are quietly starting work on a new generation of nuclear arms meant to be more rugged and reliable than warheads in the existing arsenal.
About nine million dollars have been allocated so far for weapons designers at the three US nuclear weapons laboratories, the New York Times reported Monday, citing government officials and experts.
The initiative is expected to grow and could produce finished designs in five to 10 years.’
`Smoking marijuana can affect blood flow in the brain so much that it takes over a month to return to normal. And for heavy smokers, the effects could last much longer, a new study suggests. [..]
People who smoked cannabis had higher blood flow through their brains than non-users. Yet there was also greater resistance to the blood flow, suggesting that cannabis changes the blood vessels in the brain in a way which hinders oxygen in reaching the tissue effectively. In an attempt to compensate, extra blood is sent to that part of the brain, increasing resistance but probably failing to get enough oxygen through the vessels, Cadet suggests.’
An amusing song about train drivers..
(721kB Shockwave)
see it here »
High resolution images of snow flakes.
`A Welsh rugby fan has reportedly cut off his own testicles to celebrate Wales beating England at rugby.
Geoff Huish, 26, was so convinced England would win Saturday’s match he told fellow drinkers at a social club, “If Wales win I’ll cut my balls off”, the Daily Mirror reported today.
Friends at the club in Caerphilly, south Wales, thought he was joking.
But after the game Huish went home, severed his testicles with a knife, and walked 200 metres back to the bar with the testicles to show the shocked drinkers what he had done.’
In a previous post I discussed the fact that, according to my web stats, people are really interested in biphallicism.
So, here you go. 🙂 You know you love it.
Oh, also, I just found this.
The latter picture is significantly less safe for work than the former. 🙂
`An angry mob of drag racers turned on police after an illegal street racer careered into a crowd of spectators in Sydney last night.
Up to 30 people lay injured on the road and footpath as punches were thrown and officers shoved.
Dozens of police raced to the scene in South Strathfield to help bring the 50-strong crowd under control.
One of the first officers to arrive at the scene radioed for urgent back up, telling the radio operator: “The crowd has turned on us.” [..]
The melee continued early this morning outside St George hospital as the injured arrived in ambulances for treatment.’
Tickle the girl with a feather.
`A state Supreme Court justice pulled over for drunk driving urged a police officer not to arrest her and cited her rulings in drunken driving cases, according to police videotapes. [..]
In the video, shot by a camera on the dashboard of the patrol car and released Friday, a police sergeant questioning Resnick in the front seat tells her he can smell alcohol on her breath. [..]
Resnick also repeatedly asks to be let go, saying, “My God, you know I decide all these cases in your favor. And my golly, look what you’re doing to me.”‘
‘Ahhh…I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again…
I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
How about never? Is never good for you?
I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.’
`Unqualified US military medics stationed at Iraq’s Abu Ghraib prison carried out amputations, recycled used chest tubes and lacked medical supplies to treat the overcrowded jail’s inmates after the fall of Baghdad, according to a report.
The Time magazine report, to hit newsstands Monday, also said that a medic was ordered, by one account, to cover up a homicide inside the jail.
Although the prison just outside Baghdad was jammed with as many as 7,000 detainees — some of whom displayed serious mental illnesses — no US doctor was in residence for most of 2003 following the US-led invasion of Iraq.’
`An “idiot” car thief who drove a stolen vehicle straight to a London police station to confess was told he was probably too stupid to jail. [..]
Adjourning the case at Southwark Crown Court until March 2, Judge Paul Dodgson told Zaman: “Frankly, you are an idiot and I hope you realise that.”‘
‘These authentic photographs resemble the image of Jesus. They were taken in the year 2001 and are date stamped accordingly and can be yours. The negatives for these photographs mysteriously disappeared. There are two photo’s that depict the image as they appeared on the mirror and the third photo that shows an enlargement of the image as it appears in the center of the mirror. The image was discovered one day as the mirror steamed up.’
I should start up a seperate web page titled “Stupid People finding Stupid Jesus in Stupid Places”. There’s a lot of it going on these days..
`In a totally unrelated note, I got into a fight with a guy from work who insisted the iPod mini was actually a “mini iPod”. And when I brought him around to the concept (by showing him a printout of apple.com/ipodmini), he insisted they be spelt in the plural as “iPod mini’s”. [..]
Granted, if there are many of his type out there – and I’m sure there are – this is a real worry. But who cares? Fuck these people. I hope they and their shitty grammar get wiped out by a plague.
That’s right – THE plague. The Black Death. Bubonic plague. Ever heard of that one? Transmitted by rats**, and vengeful proofreaders wielding rats.***
**Sorry, fleas.
***Apparently this guy is some sort of writer. That doesn’t change anything – I still want to kill him with plague.’
Kieranmushroom was kind enough to link to my site and a bit of reciprocation never hurt anybody. Unless you count reciprocating saws. Powertools hurt lots of people, I’m sure.
Also, I want to kill people with the plague sometimes too. 🙂
‘A Texan family say they have found the image of Jesus in their frying pan.
Juan Pastrano, wife Mary-Lou and son Juan Jnr made the discovery when they went to wash up after a fry-up at their home in Prairie Lea.
Now they are keeping the pan in a sealed plastic bag while they decided what to do with it.’
Seriously, no one owns stupidpeoplestupidjesus.com yet. I could be on to a winner.
‘A group of homeless people in Holland who withdrew more than £70,000 from a faulty cash machine are believed to be on a Spanish beach.
The homeless people had been given special state social security cash cards which allow them to take out up to £100 a time.
But a computer glitch at a Fortis Bank cash machine in Rotterdam meant they could withdraw an unrestricted amount of cash, newspaper De Volkskrant reported.’
`A Colombian mayor shot himself in the backside while he was on the toilet. [..]
He asked to use the toilet of a local shop and disappeared into the back, reports Terra Noticias Populares.
A witness said: “All we heard was the noise of a 9mm gun firing!”
The mayor’s handgun, which he was carrying in his back pocket, had gone off wounding him in the backside.’
