`A man from Swansea has discovered he sends text messages in his sleep.
Richard Griffiths, 23, has sent a series of messages – one even mirroring a nightmare he was having. [..]
He sent his first message to his mum at 2am 18 months ago reports The Sun.
A few months later he sent a text to his friend Ashley Jones saying: “Help, I’m in trouble, someone’s chasing me.” Ashley immediately rang back – and spoke to Richard who revealed he had been dreaming.
Another text, referring to the Jungle Book film he had seen with two young relatives, read: “Baloo have you seen Bagheera?”‘
`Mourners at a funeral were left terrified when a massive block of frozen urine fell from the sky.
People ducked for cover when iced toilet waste the size of a portable television hurtled down as they were leaving the church.
The lump of ice smashed into the building as around 50 mourners were standing outside and narrowly missed them as it scattered across the ground.
It is believed to have come from an aeroplane that was passing overhead.’
‘Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said on Thursday he has not decided whether to attend an international security conference next week in Germany, where he might be subject to arrest on a war-crimes complaint. [..]
He conceded in response to questions at a press conference that one problem was the jurisdiction of a German court over a 160-page criminal complaint filed Nov. 30 with the federal prosecutor’s office in Germany accusing him of war crimes in connection with detainee abuse at the Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq.’
I hope he goes, and I hope the Germans put him in jail and get prostitutes to menstruate on him. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander, afterall.
`Semen makes you happy. That’s the remarkable conclusion of a study comparing women whose partners wear condoms with those whose partners don’t.
The study, which is bound to provoke controversy, showed that the women who were directly exposed to semen were less depressed. The researchers think this is because mood-altering hormones in semen are absorbed through the vagina. They say they have ruled out other explanations.’
Not safe for work at all. I don’t know why someone would go to the effort, really..
(3.6meg Flash video)
see it here »
`After an all night bender, Bill has a problem… He’s woken up next to a dead hooker… Again. Thankfully R&H Educational Films has a step-by-step solution in this satire of 1950s partriarchy.’
Remember, if she can be identified, so can you!
Many other videos too.
This is pretty much the coolest TV series ever, and now they’re making a movie.
Good stuff. 🙂
`It has been revealed an Australian resident has been locked up in Baxter Detention Centre in South Australia for the past 10 months.
The 39-year-old, known as Cornelia Rau, went missing from the Manly psychiatric hospital in Sydney in March 2004.
Queensland police say she was found in that state’s far north later that month.
Police spokesman Steve Keeling says police handed Ms Rau to immigration officials on April 5, suspecting she was an illegal immigrant.’
`Until she returned from a brief visit to Mexico, Utah State University student Heilit Martinez thought she was a 20-year-old legal resident of the United States.
But since being detained by border officials, she has learned she is 18 and an illegal resident. [..]
“Up until I was 12, I thought I was an American,” she said. When she found out she wasn’t a U.S. citizen, her parents told her she was a legal resident. [..]
When they returned and were questioned by U.S. border agents, she said she was a German citizen. The border officials could not find her listed in a database of permanent foreign residents. She was taken into custody and was told she was in the United States illegally.’
`Two Colorado teens now have reason to believe the saying, “No good deed goes unpunished.”
They’ve been fined almost $900 for baking and delivering cookies to their neighbors last summer.
Taylor Ostergaard, 17 and Lindsey Jo Zellitti, 18, dropped off cookies last July to about nine scattered rural homes south of Durango.
Several neighbors said they enjoyed the unexpected treats. But one woman became so terrified by the knocks on her door around 10:30 p.m. that she ended up in the hospital after suffering an anxiety attack.’
`[A] correspondent who works for a Slovak news agency informed us that not only has the avalanche story (or any news story about an avalanche) not appeared in the news media there, but the very same tale (of Czech origin, told about an unnamed man caught in the Austrian Alps) was circulating in that country as an e-mail joke even before the heavy snows described in the article occurred.’
follow-up to Man peed way out of avalanche.
`Leona Helmsley’s dog Trouble is a fluffy Maltese small enough to fit into her purse. But when Trouble barks, Leona listens.
That’s because the 84-year-old hotel queen is said to believe that her late husband, real-estate tycoon Harry Helmsley, communicates to her through the pooch.
Someone who recently dined with Leona and her canine companion came away convinced that she sees Trouble as a psychic transmitter.’
`A senior US Marine Corps General who said it was “fun to shoot some people” should have chosen his words more carefully but will not be disciplined, military officials have said.
Lieutenant General James Mattis, who led troops in Iraq and Afghanistan, made the comments at a conference on Tuesday in San Diego.
“Actually it’s quite fun to fight them, you know. It’s a hell of a hoot. It’s fun to shoot some people. I’ll be right up front with you, I like brawling,” said Lt Gen Mattis.
“You go into Afghanistan, you got guys who slap women around for five years because they didn’t wear a veil,” Lt Gen Mattis said during a panel discussion.
“You know, guys like that ain’t got no manhood left anyway. So it’s a hell of a lot of fun to shoot them.”‘
`Sweden’s Princess Madeleine drove her Lexus into a taxi on Thursday afternoon, sending an 85-year-old woman head first into the windshield.
“The princess was so nervous she was trembling,” the collision victim told Swedish newspaper Aftonbladet. [..]
The collision was hard enough to send the elderly passenger, sitting in the front seat, forward so that her head struck the windshield. She then struck her head on the neck support behind her. The woman has complained of neck pains after the accident.’
`We call them ‘googledorks’ (gOO gôl’Dôrk, noun, slang) : An inept or foolish person as revealed by Google. Whatever you call these fools, you’ve found the center of the Google Hacking Universe! Stop by our forums to see where the magic happens!’
`A hydrofluoric acid spill has forced the closure of a significant portion of the downtown Phoenix area this morning. [..]
About 330 gallons of hydrofluoric acid leaked from a truck that was heading north on Seventh Avenue from Interstate 17, officials said. The truck turned east on Monroe and stopped at about Fifth Avenue.
Hydrofluoric acid is highly corrosive, but does not produce any toxic or harmful fumes, officials said.’
The “officials” are “officially idiots”. The minimum lethal dose for humans is 50 ppm in air over 30 minutes. By my calculations, 330 gallons would be enough to kill 982,586 people, if ingested.
`There’s no getting around it. At some point in your career, your patience will be tested with a stupid client who is so clueless that you’ll question your sanity, career choice, and the future of mankind.
You may have dealt with one already, one that just stuns you like a deer in headlights. Dumbfounded to utter anything but an “uhhh…”. Some clients have no concept of reality. They make up their mind, just to change it again to an even more hideous decision. And will end up blaming you for the mess. Can we honestly blame the client? Sure we can…’
`An operator said that the man was extremely shy to talk about such an intricate occurrence. His voice was trembling when the operator was asking him for details. As it became known, the young man was having a session of sex games with his girlfriend. It suddenly occurred to the girl to use a vibrating electric toothbrush in order to experience an absolutely different kind of pleasure. The enterprising lovers decided to turn the toothbrush on, and the girl carefully forced it inside the man’s rectum. It just so happened that the toothbrush slipped out of the girl’s hands because of abundant lubricant that she had applied on the “extreme vibrator.” The dental-care device made its way down the rectum alone. It became impossible to take the toothbrush out as a result of such a daring sexual experiment.’
`Michael Warner, a 58-year-old machine shop owner, had a long history of alcoholism, but couldn’t ingest alcohol because of medical problems with his throat, said Lake Jackson Police detective Robert Turner. The wine enema was a way he could become intoxicated without drinking alcohol, Turner said.
“I heard of this kind of thing in mortuary school in 1970, but this is the first time I’ve ever heard of someone actually doing it,” Turner said.
[..] “We’re not talking about little bottles here,” Turner said, “These were at least 1.5 liter bottles.”‘
`During his daily sports report last week on Wild 4 News, the Estero High junior and another student were recapping the girls soccer team’s 8-0 shutout win against North Fort Myers. The script, pre-approved by their TV production teacher, said that the team really kicked some booty.
Then Devlin, wanting to inject a little energy into his broadcast, responded with a quick-witted joke:
“I love booty,” he cracked.
Instead of a laugh, though, Devlin’s statement got him called into the administrative office.’
`The scriptures clearly indicate that neither Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, faithful Job, the Apostles, Jesus nor any other human bearing God’s favor himself owned a cat. Should we simply assume that this is a mere coincidence? Surely not! This was most likely because they didn’t want to be like the pagan contemporaries of their respective days who showed no regard for how God feels about owning a cat. In harmony with the pattern set by the faithful prophets and worthies of old, it would therefore not be fitting for the true Christian today to own a cat. [..]
The question of how to dispose of one’s unwanted cat is a serious matter. Would it be proper to hand over such a creature of Satan to a person of the world? We see no immediate problem with this, as such a person is already immersed in the wicked ways of this system of things, and so a beastly companion would be a fitting one indeed.’
`An asteroid expected to fly past Earth in 2029 will be visible to the naked eye, scientists projected Thursday. [..]
The 2029 event will be the closest brush by a good-sized asteroid known to occur. The rock will pass Earth inside the orbits of some satellites. No other asteroid has ever been clearly visible to the unaided eye.
The asteroid is roughly estimated to be a little more than 1,000 feet (320 meters) wide.’
`A newlywed Cambodian husband caught by his wife in bed with the family dog angered her even more by proclaiming his love for the dog and asking for a divorce.
Police said the 24-year-old husband was found by his shocked 20-year-old wife in a passionate embrace with the dog, a two-year-old mongrel bitch.
The wife became even more upset when the man confessed he loved the dog more than her [..]’
`A supermarket tabloid apologized and withdrew its latest issue after being criticized for publishing a “top 10 ugliest people” list that included a police officer who suffered disfiguring burns.
Jason Schechterle was badly burned in 2001 when a taxi slammed into the back of his patrol car, causing it to burst into flames. The Phoenix officer was so badly burned that surgeons had to strip away his face to save his life.’
`A Chinese man has patented his technique for growing his own wooden chairs.
Mr Wu, from Shenyang City, Liaoning province, moulds branches into shape while the tree is still growing.’
with pictures.
`A man says a traffic ticket a state trooper gave him is for the birds — or at least for flipping the bird. Stephen Corey, 42, filed a federal lawsuit because he says he had a First Amendment right to flip his middle finger at the trooper in July.
Trooper Samuel Nassan III gave Corey, a flight attendant from Pittsburgh, a ticket for following another vehicle too closely, then wrote him up for giving “an improper hand signal while passing my patrol car, namely middle finger up,” according to Corey’s lawsuit.’
`This highly unscientific quiz will haphazardly let you know when you may die. Do not be fooled by imitations! This quiz will test you on your lifestyle, and using a highly advanced, totally secret, super-algorithm that was created in less than one-hour, will tell you of your destined fate that was almost completely made up!’
I’ve got until I’m 71. That’s a little while yet. 🙂
` The disc is to be taped or glued to the bottom of your car’s gas tank. Promoters say it significantly increases gas mileage and improves air quality. They don’t say how it works, beyond claiming it sends “holographic frequencies into the gas tank and changes the molecular structure of the gasoline.”
“It doesn’t work,” says Dr. Terry Parker, a physics professor at the Colorado School of Mines. Parker and graduate student John Dane of the chemistry department tested the device for 9News.
“It’s clear that it’s just a sticker and nothing else,” Dane said.’
