`The following is a large collection of stories and anecdotes about clueless computer users. It’s a baffling phenomenon that in today’s society an individual, who might in other circumstances be considered smart and wise, can sit down in front of a computer screen and instantly lose every last shred of common sense he ever possessed. Complicate this phenomenon with a case of “computerphobia,” and you end up with tech support personnel having phone conversations that are funny in retrospect but seem like perfectly valid motives for wild machine gun shooting sprees at the time. You will read stories in this file that will convince you that among the human race are human-shaped artichokes futilely attempting to break the highly regarded social convention that vegetables should not operate electronic equipment. And yet, amidst the vast, surging quantities of stupidity are perfectly excusable technological mishaps — but that are amusing nonetheless. After all, even the best of us engages in a little brainless folly every once in a while.’
`Village council candidates in India should be allowed to stand for election only if they have a toilet at home, the rural development minister says.
In a letter to all chief ministers, Raghuvansh Prasad Singh said the toilet rule should be set out in law.
He said too many elected members “do not have toilet facilities in their own houses and defecate in the open”.
Mr Singh said this activity was the main cause of the high incidence of diarrhoea in rural areas. ‘
`Wind power is the world’s fastest-growing energy source. Existing capacity worldwide is approaching 50,000 megawatts—roughly equivalent to that of 50 nuclear power plants. But there are problems with this seemingly benign wellspring of pollution-free electricity. Aside from being noisy, the whirling turbines interfere with television reception and are generally considered terrestrial eyesores rendered useless when the wind stops. Bryan Roberts, an engineer at the University of Technology in Sydney, Australia, has a solution: Instead of erecting wind turbines on the ground, float them in the jet stream, a screamingly fast current of air that circles the globe, fluctuating between altitudes of 15,000 and 45,000 feet.’
I still reckon we need to build some more nuclear plants in a hurry or we’re gonna be fucked.
Links to a bunch of disposable email providers. Combined with bugmenot, makes a good way to get around the web.
`Eagle County Sheriff’s deputies were called to the Singletree subdivision Friday night in response to a report of a person dressed as Batman entering a home.
According to Kim Andree, spokeswoman for the sheriff’s office, the individual is a 14-year-old boy who adapted the guise of the fictional crime fighter.
“He believes he’s on a mission to help people get off drugs,” Andree said. “He really believes he’s helping. I think the family is working on getting him some assistance.”‘
`Dog Condoms, Inc. is announcing a voluntary recall of its Dog Condoms® canine prophylactics, due to an unacceptable failure rate reported during preliminary release in test markets. Use of these recalled condoms may result in unwanted canine pregnancies. Additionally, meat-scented Dog Condoms® may present a choking hazard, especially for smaller dogs.
These condoms were sold to consumers in limited test markets after May 1, 2005. The Dog Condoms® affected by this recall include all Dog Condom® products released to market, including Small, Medium, and Large Canine sizes, in both the lubricated and meat-scented varieties.’
`Bryan told KMBC’s Donna Pitman that she returned home after work and saw strangers loading up her belongings into their vehicle. When she asked what they were doing, they showed her a classified ad in the newspaper. The public notice stated that all things at 1319 Tennessee St., Apt. 3 would be thrown away if unclaimed.
“It was just a real shock!” Bryan said. “I was freaking out. I told them that’s my apartment — there’s been some mistake.”
Pitman reported that it was a one-digit mistake — the newspaper ad should have read 1339 Tennessee St. The ad was placed because a woman in that home passed away and no one had claimed her belongings.
Bryan said the people she confronted returned her things, but unfortunately, her TV, DVD player, movies, furniture and a 7-week-old kitten had already been taken from her apartment..’
`An Australian bus driver who called police after he found a package on his bus which emitted a strange sound when touched was left red-faced when it turned out to be a novelty store cushion. [..]
The driver found the package on the rear seat of his bus after completing his route around the Sydney beachside of Coogee on Sunday.
Fearing it could be an explosive device of some kind, he called the police.
“It was an unattended item, emitting a popping sound,” a police spokesman said.
“Just as a precautionary measure, police went and investigated. It’s a whoopee cushion,” he said.’
`The designers of some elevators include a hidden feature that is very handy if you’re in a hurry or it’s a busy time in the building (like check-out time in a hotel). While some elevators require a key, others can be put into “Express” mode by pressing the “Door Close” and “Floor” buttons at the same time. This sweeps the car to the floor of your choice and avoids stops at any other floor. This seems to work on Most elevators that I have tried! Most elevators have the option for this to work, but on some of them the option is turned off by whoever runs them. This is a rather fun hack, so the next time you are on an elevator, give it a try, you have nothing to lose, And this concludes Hacking Elevators 101!’
`To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories.
Except Utah, which she does not fancy.’
`Isn’t life a bitch? The world is going to end. You don’t even have to be a religious fundamentalist to see that’s true.
Some people collect postal stamps; Exit Mundi collects scenarios of what could go wrong with the world. Sure, our planet could get hit by an asteroid. But hey, that’s nothing. Did you know we could all be munched away by hungry molecules? Or that our physicists could unintentionally wipe us all out while tinkering with particles? `Oops, sorry…’
Exit Mundi isn’t in it for doom preaching, but strictly for fun. It’s a fascinating thought: if that &*%#-comet didn’t wipe out the dinosaurs 65 million years ago, we wouldn’t be here pondering about apocalypses and armageddons in the first place. The dinosaurs roamed our planet millions of years longer than we did. If it wasn’t for the comet, they still would.
That’s why this site is a tribute to floods, quantum explosions and awfully big chunks of space rock falling out of the sky. If there’s a lesson to be learnt, it should be that within every end looms the dawn of a new beginning.
Sounds good, doesn’t it?’
Some cool optical illusions.
`All day Friday and through the night Team PAD braved rain, lightning and winds over 30 mph to setup and test their equipment at their mountaintop base outside of Las Vegas, Nevada. On Saturday July 30 at 11am they successfully made a 125 mile link using 802.11b and ran network applications with their remote team in the mountains West of St. George, Utah.’
`Leaked emails from two former prosecutors claim the military commissions set up to try detainees at Guantanamo Bay are rigged, fraudulent, and thin on evidence against the accused.
Two emails, which have been obtained by the ABC, were sent to supervisors in the Office of Military Commissions in March of last year – three months before Australian detainee David Hicks was charged and five months before his trial began.
The first email is from prosecutor Major Robert Preston to his supervisor.
Maj Preston writes that the process is perpetrating a fraud on the American people, and that the cases being pursued are marginal.’
`Planting trees can create deserts, lower water tables and drain rivers, rather than filling them, claims a new report supported by the UK government.
The findings – which may come as heresy to tree-lovers and most environmentalists – is an emerging new consensus among forest and water professionals.
“Common but misguided views about water management,” says the report, are resulting in the waste of tens of millions of pounds every year across the world. Forests planted with the intention of trapping moisture are instead depleting reservoirs and drying out soils.’
`God bless the global success that was Live 8 — not least of all for reuniting acrimonious ex-bandmates Roger Waters and David Gilmour to perform Pink Floyd songs for the first time since 1981. “I was very happy — I definitely felt warm and cuddly toward everyone in the band,” says Waters, sipping white wine in his forty-ninth-floor midtown-Manhattan apartment. “I decided that if anything came up in rehearsals — any difference of opinion — I would just roll over. And I did.’
I got 80% right, 400 points. Hooray for me. 🙂
`I grabbed her around her chest just below her breasts and pulled my fists into her ribcage with all my force. After about three times she heaved, coughed my splooge all over her couch and started yelling at me, “STOP IT! [cough] YOU’RE HURTING ME! [cough] STOP ASSHOLE!”
I ended up having to take her to the hospital. Not for asphyxiation–she wasn’t choking after all, the come just surprised her and got in her nose. Nope…in my enthusiasm to save her life, I had succeeded in breaking one of her ribs. The highlight of the night was at the ER when the doctor told me that I did a very good job with the Heimlich. Apparently, you’re actually supposed to break a rib if you do it right.
We never could get the old magic back after that night. It might have been because she couldn’t take a deep breath for two months.’
