moonbuggy

Funny drunken voicemail message.

200 photos by some guy.

`A 12-year-old student saw her father’s remains in a gruesome photograph of a drunken-driving crash during a police presentation on the dangers of mixing alcohol and operating a motor vehicle.

The girl’s mother, Marla Cabbage Higginbotham, said her daughter was traumatized by the experience last month at the Holston Middle School. [..]

He was shown lying in a pool of blood with a crushed skull and mutilated face and torso, Higginbotham said.’

`Normal federal contracting rules are largely suspended in the rush to help people displaced by the storm and reopen New Orleans and the Gulf Coast. Hundreds of millions of dollars in no-bid contracts have already been let and billions more are to flow to the private sector in the weeks and months to come. Congress has already appropriated more than $62 billion for an effort that is projected to cost well over $100 billion.

Some experts warn that the crisis atmosphere and the open federal purse are a bonanza for lobbyists and private companies and are likely to lead to the contract abuses, cronyism and waste that numerous investigations have uncovered in post-war Iraq.’

`Internet2 announced Friday that both the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) and the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) have joined the consortium as corporate members. The two groups plan to assist in creating methods to distribute content using digital rights management technologies.’

Well, that’s fucked the whole thing up.

`Feces, poop, shit, crap, #2, stool, doodie, dump…

Call it what you want, but it sure stinks up the bathroom! But now you or someone you know can reduce or eliminate (no pun intended) the smell of poop itself, just by taking two Whiff capsules a day. It’s all natural and it works!. Take a Whiff!™ Because poop doesn’t have to stink!’

`So late Wednesday afternoon, the group set out for a bridge called the Crescent City Connection, where they would find the help they so desperately needed. But when they arrived atop the highway, the paramedics said, they were met by more police officers, this time from neighboring Gretna, La., who weren’t letting anyone pass.

“If I weren’t there, and hadn’t witnessed it for myself, I don’t think I would have ever believed this,” Bradshaw said.

The officers fired warning shots into the air and then leveled their weapons at members of the crowd, Bradshaw said. He approached, hands in the air, displaying his paramedic’s badge.

“They told us that there would be no Superdomes in their city,” the couple wrote. “These were code words that if you are poor and black, you are not crossing the Mississippi River — and you weren’t getting out of New Orleans.”’

`Throughout the Gulf Coast, Caucasian suburbanites attempting to gather food and drink in the shattered wreckage of shopping districts have reported seeing African­Americans “looting snacks and beer from damaged businesses.” “I was in the abandoned Wal-Mart gathering an air mattress so I could float out the potato chips, beef jerky, and Budweiser I’d managed to find,” said white survivor Lars Wrightson, who had carefully selected foodstuffs whose salt and alcohol content provide protection against contamination. “Then I look up, and I see a whole family of [African-Americans] going straight for the booze. Hell, you could see they had already looted a fortune in diapers.” Radio stations still in operation are advising store owners and white people in the affected areas to locate firearms in sporting-goods stores in order to protect themselves against marauding blacks looting gun shops.’

‘My goodness, Susy! We almost became Muslims! I want Jesus! [..]

Oh, those poor Muslims. They’ve been lied to.

Yes, because of Mohammed’s false teaching. We must pray for them.’

`Arkansas National Guardsman Mikel Brooks stepped through the food service entrance of the Ernest N. Morial Convention Center Monday, flipped on the light at the end of his machine gun, and started pointing out bodies.

“Don’t step in that blood – it’s contaminated,” he said. “That one with his arm sticking up in the air, he’s an old man.”
Then he shined the light on the smaller human figure under the white sheet next to the elderly man.

“That’s a kid,” he said. “There’s another one in the freezer, a 7-year-old with her throat cut.” [..]

Brooks and several other Guardsmen said they had seen between 30 and 40 more bodies in the Convention Center’s freezer. “It’s not on, but at least you can shut the door,” said fellow Guardsman Phillip Thompson.’

Have I blogged this before? I don’t remember. I’m drunk.

All I want is some more beer and for Jessica Alba to come to my house and drink the beer with me.

Is that too much to ask?

(7.6meg .wmv)

`…an Edwardian parable for the binge drink generation’

Not as good as it sounds. I think the world passed the “go fuck yourself” stage a few years ago. At this point people should just be walking upto him and kicking him in the nuts, rather than heckling.

Still, it’s an improvement. 🙂

see it here »

‘A restaurant in northeastern China that advertised illegal tiger meat dishes was found instead to be selling donkey flesh – marinated in tiger urine, a newspaper reported Thursday.

The Hufulou restaurant, located beside the Heidaohezi tiger reserve near the city of Hailin, had advertised stir-fried tiger meat with chilies for $98 as well as liquor flavored with tiger bone for $74 a bottle, the China Daily reported.

Raw meat was priced at $864 per kilogram.

The sale of tiger parts is illegal in China and officers shut down the restaurant, only to be told by owner, Ma Shikun, that the meat was actually that of donkeys, flavored with tiger urine to give the dish a “special” tang, the newspaper said.’

`A monkey, apparently a pet, escaped, then chased a 12-year-old boy into his house and bit him on the buttocks in the western Malaysian state of Pahang, a news report said Friday.’

`Police said the principal called them when the girl refused to go to class. When officers arrived, they had trouble bringing the girl, who is 5 feet 5 inches tall and 120 pounds, under control. Officers said they warned the girl several times that they would use the Taser on her if she did not calm down.

She was charged for disorderly conduct and resisting arrest.’

`Former US secretary of state Colin Powell says his United Nations speech making the case for the US-led war on Iraq was “a blot” on his record.

Mr Powell has also said that he had “never seen evidence to suggest” a connection between the September 11, 2001 terror attacks in the United States and the Saddam regime. ‘

`Bucking dire predictions by anti-drug warriors, the 10 states that approved medical marijuana laws over the last decade have experienced sharp declines in cannabis use among teenagers, according to a new study by a marijuana advocacy group.

California has seen usage among ninth-graders drop 47% since 1996, the year the state became the nation’s first to legalize medical marijuana. Over the same period, the nation as a whole experienced a 43% decline among eighth-graders.’

`Atom Chip Corporation is a research & development company for new computer designs. The company has developed a series of new Quantum and Quantum-Optical devices for storing and processing information in a way that permits high-speed data accessibility, with a high degree of reliability, non-volatility, and extremely high-density in an extremely compact size. The devices do not employ any mechanical or moving parts, and are completely based on solid state optoelectronics.’

`Aniline dyes, developed by William Perkin in the 1850s, were the beginning of the end for a host of mineral pigments widely used in interior décor. Chromium, cadmium, mercury, lead, cyanide, antimony and arsenic salts were once commonplace as paint, wallpaper, food and fabric pigments. The arsenic pigments Scheele’s green and Emerald green, the mercurial vermilion, green lead chromate, cadmium yellow, arsenical Naples ’s yellow, the cyanide salt Prussian blue, were the staple colours used to brighten up the Georgian and Victorian home. Whites were often lead white or arsenic trioxide. In the early days aniline dyes were far from safe with arsenious acid, used as a reductant in the dye manufature, often present in high concentrations.’

`A group of female hurricane survivors were told to show their breasts if they wanted to be rescued, a British holidaymaker has revealed.Ged Scott watched as American rescuers turned their boat around and sped off when the the women refused.

The account was just another example of the horror stories emerging from the hurricane disaster zone. [..]

“At one point, there were a load of girls on the roof of the hotel saying ‘Can you help us?’ and the policemen said ‘Show us what you’ve got’ and made signs for them to lift their T-shirts,” he told the Liverpool Evening Echo.

“When the girls refused, they said `Fine’ and motored off down the road in their boat.” [..]

Mr Scott also slated the rescue operation, saying police were more interested in taking snapshots of the devastation rather than rescuing the victims.

“I could not have a lower opinion of the authorities, from the police officers on the street right up to George Bush,” he said.’

`1926 Military Manual on Conducting Chemical Warfare’

The top ten funniest and the top ten most offensive religious jokes of all time.

`And, as the New York Times noted in Marvin’s obituary, Marvin chose a rather unusual way of expressing a Garp-like solidarity with his brother after the latter’s death in 1993:

“The brothers were so close that Marvin never used the pronoun “I,” much less claimed credit for a particular photo. After Morgan died of testicular cancer, Marvin had his own testicles removed.” [..]

A week later, the Times ran a correction:

“An obituary last Wednesday about Marvin Smith, a leading photographer of Harlem who worked with his identical twin, Morgan, described the closeness of the two men — it was said that they never used the pronoun “I” — and recounted an anecdote about Marvin Smith’s response to the illness that caused his brother’s death, in 1993. [..]

After the obituary appeared, Monica Smith, the daughter of Morgan Smith, told The Times that her father had had prostate cancer and that her uncle did not have his testicles removed.”‘

So, I bought a domain name for fun. 🙂

At the moment it just redirects to the blog hosted at blogspot, but I’m probably going to start migrating some stuff over to the new domain when I sort out some cheap hosting..

`A British man was sent a letter threatening him with hospitalisation and horrors worse than the London bombings if he failed to pay his phone bill, a newspaper said.

The Royal Mail customer was warned in an unsigned letter on official notepaper that the terrorist attacks which killed 56 people would be nothing compared to the suffering heading his way, the Daily Mirror reported. [..]

“Failure to pay will result in you being hospitalised,” the chilling letter warned.

“If you thought the events of July 7 and July 21 were bad, that is nothing compared to what will happen to you.

“If you fail to pay your outstanding bill, we have told you verbally what we will do to you. This is just to remind you we will carry out our promise.”‘

`LMOS is a minimalist operating system targetting multimedia presentations, written with simplicity in mind. Due to its tiny x86 assembly core, it easily fits on a standard floppy: just write LMOS and your pictures to a CD or floppy, and it will boot and play on any IBM-PC compatible computer. [..]

The default LMOS theme contains the following images, which are amongst the most famous shock images available on the Internet:

* hello.jpg (as seen on goatse.cx)
* tub.jpg (as seen on tubgirl.com)
* loopback.jpg (as seen on goatse.cx)
* harlequin.jpg
* pooped.jpg (as seen on bangedup.com)
* pillowfight.jpg
* lemonparty.jpg (as seen on lemonparty.org)

The default LMOS background music is the famous “HEY EVERYBODY, I’M LOOKING AT GAY PORNO” sample.’

A faith in God,
A friendly smile!
He’ll warm your heart,
then rape your child!