moonbuggy

`Taking a cue from an election speech, this animation outlines the regions where mass detentions were carried out after 9/11. This map is built off a database that viewers can update.’

`[..] So, now my network is nice and speedy again. And some guy is in his room trying to dry out his underwear. 🙂 I should have recorded the call since my cellphone has the capability to record conversations. The above conversation can’t even begin to show the fear in his voice. I’m sure he’s scared as hell wondering how they found out his name and that he was staying at a hotel and exactly what room he was in.’

`In Egyptian myth, Apophis was the ancient spirit of evil and destruction, a demon that was determined to plunge the world into eternal darkness.

A fitting name, astronomers reasoned, for a menace now hurtling towards Earth from outerspace. Scientists are monitoring the progress of a 390-metre wide asteroid discovered last year that is potentially on a collision course with the planet, and are imploring governments to decide on a strategy for dealing with it.’

`FemTone Vaginal Weights are weights that are used during Kegel exercises. FemTone Vaginal Weights are a set of five reusable, tampon-like, sterile cones of identical size and shape but of increasing weight.

FemTone weights when used during Kegel exercises (contracting the pelvic floor muscles) have been found to strengthen the pelvic floor and may improve urinary continence. Many women who utilize Vaginal Weights see marked results in trying to overcome incontinence. The FemTone Vaginal Weights are market leaders in this category. [..]

Please note that due to the nature of this product it is not returnable.’

`Australian blogs will never be as hard-hitting as their overseas counterparts because of our ridiculous laws.

Many local bloggers are unaware that they may be liable for everything they write on their sites, not to mention all of the colourful comments made by contributors.

Our new sedition laws will make this worse.’

The current Australian government is a disgrace. Anyone who voted for John Howard in the last election ought to be ashamed. Although, unfortunately, the sycophants [or “the opposition” as they prefer to be called] are not much better.

`The Federal Government has released its proposed new electoral laws, including plans to close rolls on the day an election is called and ban prisoners from voting. [..]

Paid online electoral advertising will have to be authorised in the same way as print advertisements.

The threshold for disclosure of political donations will rise to $10,000 with contributions to political parties of up to $1,500 to be tax deductible.

The Government says the changes will help reduce electoral fraud.’

I call shenanigans on the government. I think this is seriously fucked up.

First they introduce new sedition laws that are broad enough to make many acts of political opposition and protest criminal [see Australian Sedition Laws Target Peaceful Civil Disobedience], then they attempt to introduce laws preventing criminals from voting.

Anyone else see anything wrong with this scenario?

[The sedition laws are broad enough that my calling of shenanigans is probably illegal. Bah!]

Fimoculous has collected links to many of the various “Best of 2005” lists from various sources on a single page.

`The ongoing trial of Saddam Hussein could prove increasingly uncomfortable for the Bush administration. The first crime of which the deposed dictator is accused, the secret execution of 143 Shiites arrested in 1982, seems an odd choice for the prosecution, and politics may be behind it. Hussein is accused of using poison gas against Iranian troops, of genocide against the Kurds and of massacring tens of thousands to end the 1991 uprising after his defeat in the Gulf War. The problem for the Bush administration with these other, far graver charges, is that the Americans are implicated in them either through acts of commission or omission.’

`From the “Here be Monsters” line, an incredible 12-inch plush that metamorphosizes from a lumberjack into a werewolf. Just open the back and invert the plush to make the change. Amaze friends with your intimate knowledge of the lycanthropic change!’

Because `Armed Gays Don’t Get Bashed’.

`Hours after New Orleans officials announced Tuesday that they would deploy a city-owned, wireless Internet network in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, regional phone giant BellSouth Corp. withdrew an offer to donate one of its damaged buildings that would have housed new police headquarters, city officials said yesterday.

According to the officials, the head of BellSouth’s Louisiana operations, Bill Oliver, angrily rescinded the offer of the building in a conversation with New Orleans homeland security director Terry Ebbert, who oversees the roughly 1,650-member police force.’

`An 85-year-old Canadian man spent hours inside his impounded car in freezing temperatures after his vehicle was ticketed for illegal parking and then towed to a police compound, police said on Thursday.

Police in the western city of Edmonton, Alberta, said frost had obscured the car’s windows and a tow-truck driver, unaware of the elderly man sitting in the driver’s seat, took the car to the police compound.’

`Have you got a coworker who stinks like ass?

A friend who really needs to take a bath?

An acquaintance you wish would learn about standard hygiene practices?

…but you don’t know how to bring it up?

YouHaveBO.com is for you.

We will send that stinky person in your life an anonymous and fun notification that he or she needs to change socks, put on some deodorant or take a shower.’

`Can anyone read this? Don’t worry if it doesn’t make sense. These are the English instructions for pumping gas. If you can read it, you might understand why it took us two tries and around $70 to obtain about 5 liters of diesel. Thank goodness for kind-hearted Italians, and the female travel companions that lure them.’

`Two window washers hold on for dear life as high winds smash their platform into a downtown Denver high rise.’

You don’t need to clean the windows after you’ve smashed them all. Good thinking. 🙂

(streaming video)

`This is a series of biographies on the personal lives of history’s mad royals. The absolute power they enjoyed often brought out the worst features of their character. Many Royals had egocentric, megalomaniac or paranoid tendencies and their mental states ranged from severe psychotic and psycho-organic disorders to personality disorders and light neuroses. Although not all Royals in this series were clinically mad, they certainly were peculiar.’

A cool little program that colourizes black and white photos in an interesting way.

`A former secretary of the U.S. Commission on Fine Arts has gotten a $5 ticket for jaywalking even though, at the time, he was lying critically injured in the street after being hit by a car.

Police told The Washington Post that Charles Atherton, 73, was conscious when he was issued the ticket before being taken to the hospital Thursday night.

But witnesses report that Atherton was unresponsive and struggling to breathe.’

`This page is maintained by Alistair B. Fraser in an attempt to sensitize teachers and students to examples of the bad science often taught in schools, universities, and offered in popular articles and even textbooks. [..]

When I created this page, in January, 1995, I naïvely expected that other frustrated teachers would rush to build sites devoted to, say, Bad Archeology and Bad Biology. It has not happened. Apparently, most teachers believe everything they teach. Sigh, one is reminded of Lily Tomlin when she said , “No matter how cynical you become, it’s never enough to keep up.”’

`Coming in telephoto, wide and macro varieties, these lenses—which you crudely attach with a magnet—ensure that you will make the very most out of that, ooh, 1 megapixel your phone camera is capable of shooting.

All this pointless novelty doesn’t come cheap either—at 7000-yen (approx. $57) each you would expect Ansel Adams-like results. But I believe that all you’ll elicit is a lot of people saying “hey, what the hell is that on your phone?” to your chagrin and shame.’

`A sex assault trial that hung on claims of a large penis was turned into a “cheap joke” by media coverage, a superior court judge said yesterday as she found the accused guilty.

Justice Margaret Eberhard said she was disturbed after receiving calls “from afar” and was ribbed numerous times over the trial in which a man claimed he could not be guilty of rape because his penis is too big. [..]

A 22-year-old student, who can’t be identified, claimed his penis is too big to insert into an average vagina without special preparation or it causes bleeding and scarring.

A urologist brought to court a plastic model that depicted the size of the member at a semi-relaxed state, which measured 8 1/2 inches long and 6 1/2 inches in girth.’

Followup to Penis size used as defence in trial.

`Editor’s Note: I scanned these images myself, at a university computing cluster, and I can assure you that it was an experience I’ll never forget.

Good thing I have nerves of steel.

But this wasn’t my idea.

The real star of this show is that mysterious woman known only as XY. This is her blood that you’re looking at. Examine the stains and get to know her a little better. Like reading tea leaves, perhaps you can divine something of XY’s future in these patterns. Or, after the manner of a Rorshach inkblot test, perhaps you can discover something of her psychological make-up — or your own.’

`It’s the sort of gift that Bill Gates Sr. wanted from his son.

[..] when Bill Gates Sr. turned 80 Wednesday, his son surprised him with this: an 80-year scholarship program for the University of Washington School of Law in the elder Gates’ name.

The length of the scholarship is a nod to Bill Gates Sr.’s age; the law school is his alma mater.

The cost: $33.3 million. The deal: Five students get a full-ride scholarship each year. In exchange, they commit to working seven years in public service after graduation — for instance, for a legal aid or advocacy agency, a nonprofit, as a public defender or prosecutor.’

This is the first time Bill Gates has done anything I don’t instantly find offensive in one way or another. 🙂

`A new survey of Internet use has found that more and more Americans are using the internet in the privacy of their bathrooms. [..]

he snapshot of how the Internet has changed American life, concluded that home wireless connections were allowing people to stay connected everywhere – even in the smallest room in the house. [..]

“Over half of those who used Wi-fi had used it in the bathroom,” said [a reasearcher], remarking that he believed some people in busy homes retreated there for some privacy.’

`Pere Lachaise cemetery in Paris has fenced off a famous tomb to prevent lewd acts being performed on a statue.

The effigy of 19th Century journalist known as Victor Noir has long been popular with women visitors.

This is partly due to his reputation as a romantic figure, and partly because of the effigy’s design.

Officials concerned about damage to the icon’s groin area have erected a fence around the grave, and a sign prohibiting indecent rubbing.’

`Although ancient Roman penis amulets are well known and contemporary Thai penis amulets come in numerous forms, charms or amulets that depict the anatomically-correct vulva are relatively uncommon. There are two reasons for this: First, since Neolithic times, the entire human female body (or at least the torso) has been used as a votary figure, with no one body part singled out for solitary emphasis. Second, the subtle folds of the female genitals are more difficult to render than are the bold cone-cylinder-and-spheres of the penis and testicles.’

`[..] The ongoing debate about whether big corporations are mismanaging knowledge workers is one we take very seriously, because those who don’t get it right will be gone. We’ve drawn on good ideas we’ve seen elsewhere and come up with a few of our own. What follows are seven key principles we use to make knowledge workers most effective. As in most technology companies, many of our employees are engineers, so we will focus on that particular group, but many of the policies apply to all sorts of knowledge workers.’

`At dawn on December 2nd 2005, Singapore hanged a citizen of Australia, despite a plea for clemency from the United Nations. Whilst Putfile is not a human rights campaigning organization, we believe that if a country must have the death penalty, there is no need for it be barbaric. It is enough of a punishment, and a deterrent, to take someone’s life in a painless manner, without having to be barbaric about it. Putfile prefers to not continue to provide our free uploading service to a country that executes prisoners by hanging, a method of execution which can take up to six minutes to painfully execute the victim.

For this reason, we are at this time terminating all service to users from Singapore. We shall be happy to restore service following any positive move from the government of Singapore towards abolition of hanging as an execution method.

Goodbye Singapore,

Putfile.’

People have left some hilarious reviews of the Fist Shaped Dildo on Amazon:

`This does not appear to be good for punching people in the face.’

`Warning, not for novices. Had to deduct one star because my buttocks slams shut every time I pull it out. On the plus side, it doubles as a chocolate ice cream cone. A fleet of seamen couldn’t get mine away from me!!!! But then again I’m not new to this game…’

And, because I was bored the other day and started fiddling around with Amazon Associates, you can also read the reviews [and maybe buy one for yourself!] via the half-built and fairly ugly shop thingy I made.

It’s all part of my plan to become a dildo salesmen.