`A local woman became seriously ill after unaccountably putting a lime inside a coconut, and then drinking both up, sources say.
The woman, identified as 38-year-old Tonya Northfield, is not believed to have any prior history of incidents involving large tropical fruits or citrus fruits. However, unique circumstances prompted her to put the lime in the coconut, and drink them both up.
“My brother bought a coconut,” Northfield said, “he bought it for a dime. “And I had a nice, fresh lime that had also cost only ten cents. Given the small monetary investment in the two fruits, and the fact that I wasn’t using them for anything else, it seemed only logical to put the lime in the coconut, and drink them both up.”‘
If I die and find myself in one of these things, I’m gonna come back and haunt the cunt who put me in it. 🙂
There’s a variety of amusing images from Sports Illustrated. Some are more amusing than others. Like Super Sledding Office Lady, for example.
`More people in Britain think religion causes harm than believe it does good, according to a Guardian/ICM poll published today. It shows that an overwhelming majority see religion as a cause of division and tension – greatly outnumbering the smaller majority who also believe that it can be a force for good.
The poll also reveals that non-believers outnumber believers in Britain by almost two to one. It paints a picture of a sceptical nation with massive doubts about the effect religion has on society: 82% of those questioned say they see religion as a cause of division and tension between people. Only 16% disagree. The findings are at odds with attempts by some religious leaders to define the country as one made up of many faith communities.’
`Santa Claus was forced to swap his traditional red and white hat for protective headgear after children pelted him with mince pies in Scotland.
Santa was hit on the head by pastries thrown from a balcony as he handed out gold chocolate coins at a shopping center in the town of Paisley, near Glasgow, at the weekend.
“Health and safety is paramount,” center manager Andrew MacKinnon said on Wednesday. “We issued him with a yellow hardhat equipped with a pair of reindeer antlers to make it look more festive.”’
Or atleast a plane with stronger wings.
see it here »
`David Lillie, 29, was arrested Sunday and booked for investigation of kidnapping and aggravated assault, said police spokesman Sgt. Andy Hill.
Police were responding to a 911 call that a woman could be heard yelling and screaming in the back of a box truck parked in a church parking lot when they stopped the truck as it was pulling away, Hill said.
The man told police there was a woman in the back of the truck. Officers found her unconscious with numerous staple wounds on her face and scalp and a staple gun next to her, Hill said.’
`A man doused himself with flammable liquid and set himself afire, apparently to protest against a California school district’s decision to change the names of winter and spring breaks to Christmas and Easter vacation.
The man suffered first-degree burns on his shoulders and arms Friday, Fire Department Capt. Garth Milam said.
He had a sign that read “(expletive) the religious establishment and KHSD,” said Kern County Sheriff’s Deputy John Leyendecker. On Thursday, the Kern High School Board of Trustees voted to change the names of the holiday breaks.
The man, whose name was not released, also set fire to a Christmas tree and flags in a public area, Milam said.’
He’s a brave fellow. 🙂
see it here »
`A one-month-old baby has been checked and cleared by a Los Angeles hospital after being put through an airport X-ray machine.
Authorities at Los Angeles International Airport say an inexperienced traveler mistakenly put her grandson through a carry-on luggage screener.
A startled security worker noticed the shape of a child and immediately pulled the baby out. A spokesman for LAX says the incident Saturday was an innocent mistake.’
‘George W. Bush Jr. Was Interviewed In 1992 While Drunk On Camera.’
This might be a repost. I’ve definitely seen it before, but it’s still funny. 🙂
see it here »
‘The communications director for Montana’s lone congressman solicited the services of two men he falsely believed to be criminally minded hackers-for-hire — with the expressed goal of jacking up his college GPA — during an exchange that spanned 22 e-mails over two weeks this past summer.’
The emails are hilarious.
`Children left a school Christmas assembly in tears after claiming a vicar said Father Christmas does not exist.
Teachers at St George’s C of E Primary in Mossley told the Rev Martin Dowland he had upset children after reading `Why Jesus Is Better Than Santa Claus’.
It was during the reading with colleague the Rev Richard Lindsay, of St George’s Church, that Mr Dowland is reported to have said: “You all should know by now that he (Santa Claus) is not real.” Parents said they were stunned. And Mr Dowland, of St Mary’s Church, Haughton Green, said a teacher made him aware some children were upset, but denied he actually said Santa was not real.’
‘A couple of guys get some 2 liter bottles, bricks, and dry ice and create some pretty impressive dry ice bombs. Check out the last explosion. I have built one or two of these and never saw one blow up like the last one in the video.’
(14.7meg Windows media)
see it here »
`A couple years ago I put the biggest above ground pool I could find in my living room. The pictures were posted to a bunch of those link collecting sites and almost 7000 people saw the pictures the first day. Every year or so they are rediscovered and they get a ton of hits. However, I’ve never publicly told the story of the pool and why I did it. Avast!
One day my friend Crystal sends me an IM. Here’s a dramatic rendition of the event :
Crystal: OMG! Ty, check out www.penguinwarehouse.com
So I did.’
Related to: Hoax penguin website fools shoppers
`A documentary says French special forces had Osama bin Laden in their sights twice about three years ago but their U.S. superiors never ordered them to fire.
The French military, however, said that the incidents never happened and the report was “erroneous information.”
The documentary, due to air next year and seen by Reuters on Tuesday, says the troops could have killed the al Qaeda leader in
Afghanistan but the order to shoot never came, possibly because it took too long to request it.
“In 2003 and 2004 we had bin Laden in our sights. The sniper said ‘I have bin Laden’,” an anonymous French soldier is quoted as saying.’
That’s a bit of an (un)lucky landing. 🙂
see it here »
`A woman jailed after four of her infant daughter’s toes were gnawed off says the family’s pet ferret did it, not their pit bull pup as police had said.
But her husband blames the dog, a city official said.’
`Imagine watching your cannabis-smoking son stab himself three times in the stomach right in front of you – and later having to deal with his suicide.
Imagine watching your beautiful daughter become a schizophrenic after using drugs and having to take over the job of caring for her baby.
Imagine realising you had a mental health problem and were seeking help, only to be turned away because the mental health service classified your problem as drug-related.
For years the parents of cannabis users have seen a link between their child’s use of cannabis and mental illness.
Now evidence is emerging that they are right.’
`Children watched in horror as a Santa Claus collapsed and died as he handed out presents at a Christmas party on Sunday.
Andrew Robertson was taken ill as the excited youngsters received their gifts. The 82-year-old was taken to a side room and attempts made to revive him, but he was pronounced dead when medics arrived.’
`Flora Zimbelman says it all started 54 years ago when she put an uncooked hot dog in her sister’s suitcase.
“I don’t know what made me do it. The devil I guess,” she said.
Flora’s sister, Rose, found the hot dog when she opened the suitcase back up in Idaho, where she lived at the time.
“She mailed it back to me telling me to keep my garbage at home,” said Flora.
The game was on.’
`A Japanese civil servant has described for the first time how he survived for more than three weeks in a mountain forest without food or water in what doctors believe is the first known case of a human in hibernation. [..]
When a climber found him 24 days later, Mr Uchikoshi’s body temperature had fallen to just 22 degrees, his pulse was barely discernible and he was suffering from multiple organ failure and blood loss. Doctors who treated him believe he lost consciousness after his fall and his body’s survival instincts kicked in, sending him into a state akin to hibernation as the temperature on the mountain dropped as low as 10 degrees.’
`Child molester Jessy Gene Moore must have been astonished when jail deputies told him he was free to go Wednesday, the day after a judge had sentenced him to 41/2 years in prison.
For at least an hour, Moore played it cool as he worked his way through the release process — riding an inmate bus from Inverness Jail to the Justice Center downtown, signing release papers, changing into his street clothes and eventually walking out the front doors of the center and into the night.
Moore, 21, was living every inmates’ dream.
And technically, Moore did nothing illegal by failing to utter a peep, officials say.’
