`In 1983, as the residents of Calcata, a small town 30 miles north of Rome, prepared for their annual procession honoring a holy relic, a shocking announcement from the parish priest put a damper on festivities. “This year, the holy relic will not be exposed to the devotion of the faithful. It has vanished. Sacrilegious thieves have taken it from my home.” Not since the Middle Ages, when lopped-off body parts of divine do-gooders were bought, sold, and traded, has relic theft been big news. But the mysterious disappearance of Calcata’s beloved curio is different.
This wasn’t just the residuum of any holy human—nor was it just any body part. It was the foreskin of Jesus Christ, the snipped-off tip of the savior’s penis, the only piece of his body he supposedly left on earth.’
`A small airplane apparently took a nose-dive into a tank of raw sewage near Gilroy on Monday afternoon.
Gilroy police Sgt. Kurt Svardal said authorities have no idea where the plane was from or where it was going. The aircraft came pretty much straight down into a holding tank filled with raw sewage at a sewage treatment facility, he said, adding that it was too dangerous for a dive team to go into the water and check for bodies or the tail number of the plane, which would indicate who owned it and where it was from.’
`A masked man shot a taxi driver in the bottom as he was walking home from work in Sydney’s east.
The driver, aged in his early 50s, was walking home along Avoca Road in Randwick at 2.45am (AEDT) when a balaclava-clad man pulled up beside him, police said.
Threatening the driver with a rifle, the masked man demanded money, firing several shots before fleeing the scene in a green Toyota Hi-Ace.
The driver called a friend and was taken to hospital with bullet wounds to his bottom. He is in a stable condition.’
‘This dude gets dual jet engines and attaches them to his bicycle and takes it out on the highway.’
see it here »
`A hoax American website claiming to sell live penguins that have been farmed in New Zealand has fooled some people into trying to buy the cold water birds.
Penguin Warehouse Inc has offered to ship seven types of penguins around the world, claiming their aim is to “dispel the myth that penguins do not make good house guests”, while also “ridding the house of pesky krill”, Christchurch’s The Press newspaper reported.
An American woman bought a large portable swimming pool, which she installed in her living-room ready for a penguin she dubbed Magellan.’
`A teenager has admitted trying to kill his 10-year-old sister by “hacking her open” because she annoyed him by waking him up when she went to the toilet.
The 17-year-old launched a frenzied knife attack on the girl at their home.
Exeter Crown Court heard how the boy said to police: “Come on, come on, I have hacked her open, I was bored,” while hitting a car with a metal spade.
The boy has been remanded to a local psychiatric unit while his condition is assessed before he is sentenced.’
Revi persees: Rip your ass open
Haista vittu: Fuck you (lit. Smell the cunt)
Pyöriä kuin puolukka pillussa: Roll like cowberry in a pussy
Kolmannen asteen turbomuna: Turbodick of a third degree
Nännipihan talonmies: Nippleyard’s janitor
Heitä homo voltti!: Screw you, faggot! (lit. do a somersault, fag)
Katiska: Fish trap (Used to describe an ugly person)
Revin perseesi irti ja syötän sen sinulle: I’ll rip your ass off and feed it to you.
Voi, Vitunlihakeitto!: Oh, soup-made-out-of-the-flesh-of-cunt!
Paras osa sinusta valui lihavan äitisi sisäreittä pitkin: The best part of you ran down your fat mother’s inner thigh
`In early December, defense lawyers acting for Jose Padilla, a US citizen detained as an “enemy combatant,” released a video showing a mission fraught with deadly risk — taking him to the prison dentist. A group of masked guards in riot gear shackled his legs and hands, blindfolded him with black-out goggles and shut off his hearing with headphones, then marched him down the prison corridor.
Is Padilla really that dangerous? Far from it: his warders describe him as so docile and inactive that he could be mistaken for “a piece of furniture.” The purpose of these measures appeared to be to sustain the regime under which he had lived for over three years: total sensory deprivation. He had been kept in a blacked-out cell, unable to see or hear anything beyond it. Most importantly, he had no human contact, except for being bounced off the walls from time to time by his interrogators. As a result, he appears to have lost his mind. I don’t mean this metaphorically. I mean that his mind is no longer there.’
Poor little kid think he’s going to die. He’ll probably be alright. 🙂
see it here »
This is a slightly amusing way to land.
see it here »
`Here, then, is a list of every known individual who has staked a claim to a weight of 900 pounds or more, in descending order of magnitude.’
`For the primary effect, one should sit at a comfortable distance and then move forward toward the center of the figure. An interesting change in apparent brightness and to some degree form will result—what may be called a “here comes the sun” effect. By moving back and forth, this apparent change will repeat.’
and more here.
‘The FruitCake Lady passed away but Jay remembers her with a special look back at all of her funny appearances on the Tonight Show’
(6.3meg Flash video)
see it here »
`”She then took the crack from out of her mouth and placed it on the trunk of Deputy (Jeffery) Pedrick’s patrol car,” the police said.
The Deputy Pedrick warned Reaves that if the substance tested positive, she would be arrested.
After a test came back positive, Reaves said the crack was a poor mix of wax and cocaine and that the man who sold it to her should give her money back.
She was arrested and booked into the local jail on $US1,504 ($A1,922) bond, and has since been released.
Police also searched the man Reaves accused of selling her the crack, but found no drugs or money on him, they said.’
`Over the past six months, Baghdad has been all but isolated electrically, Iraqi officials say, as insurgents have effectively won their battle to bring down critical high-voltage lines and cut off the capital from the major power plants to the north, south and west.
The battle has been waged in the remotest parts of the open desert, where the great towers that support thousands of miles of exposed lines are frequently felled with explosive charges in increasingly determined and sophisticated attacks, generally at night. Crews that arrive to repair the damage are often attacked and sometimes killed, ensuring that the government falls further and further behind as it attempts to repair the lines. [..]
“Now Baghdad is almost isolated,” Karim Wahid, the Iraqi electricity minister, said in an interview last week. “We almost don’t have any power coming from outside.”’
`Scientists say they have made the world’s strongest nanowire, reaching the theoretical limits of what they had designed. [..]
“The ultimate strength we report is the highest recorded for any semiconductor material system and is at the theoretically predicted limit,” says Sader, who was involved in measuring the strength of the wires using an atomic force microscope.
“This indicates that these nanowires are near perfect materials.” [..]
They then tested the strength by placing it across a small trench and manipulating it sideways. They found it could bend and stretch farther than any nanowire made previously, sustaining 15 gigapascals before snapping. If the wire were one centimetre in diameter it could hold up to 100 tonnes without breaking, Sader says.’
‘And then we decided to make a ramp van.’
see it here »
`A second World War veteran who was blinded in his right eye when he was hit by shrapnel can see again after being head-butted by a pedigree racehorse.
Doctors tried in vain for 64 years to restore Don Karkos’s sight, until My Buddy Chimo stepped in. [..]
“Being kicked is part of the job, but I’ve never been hit that hard.
“I was pretty shaken up, kind of dazed. Then, later that night, I started to get the vision back in my right eye.
“It was unbelievable. I’ve been seeing doctors all my life, and they’ve always told me there is nothing can be done.”‘
`The shocking footage of Pauly Shore getting socked in the face is phony baloney according to police.
The Odessa, Texas Police Department claims that an officer “had met with Mr. Shore prior to his set, and was asked to participate in the skit. The officer stated that the skit went as designed and that Shore was not injured in the designed skit.”‘
Followup to: Pauly Shore gets punched in the face
`In the last year alone, some eight million units of toys were recalled in the U.S., according to W.A.T.C.H., a toy-safety advocacy group. But Kool Toys and Polly Pockets are kids’ stuff compared to the hazardous baubles of yesteryear. In the spirit of the holidays, Radar presents the 10 most dangerous toys of all time, those treasured playthings that drew blood, chewed digits, took out eyes, and, in one case, actually irradiated. To keep things interesting, we excluded BB guns, slingshots, throwing stars, and anything else actually intended to inflict harm.’
badger badger badger badger badger badger
followup to Badger Badger Badger
`A top Indian woman athlete who won a silver medal at a recent regional championship has failed a gender test, officials say.
Santhi Soundararajan, who took the silver in the women’s 800m race at the Asian Games in Doha, is likely to be stripped of her medal, reports say.
KP Mohan, a sports journalist, said athletes were usually examined by a team of doctors, including a gynaecologist, endocrinologist and psychologist, and put through physical and clinical examinations during a gender test.’
`Victoria Beckham is reportedly set to star in Tom Cruise’s new Scientology film.
The ex-Spice Girl has apparently been lined up to play an alien bride in The Thetan – based on the religion, which believes in alien life forms. [..]
The 32-year-old – who made her first attempt at acting in the 1997 Spice Girls movie Spice World – will play the bride of an alien leader called a thetan, which Scientologists claim is an immortal spiritual being, present in all humans.
Cruise – who is bankrolling the project himself after it was rejected by all the major film studios – is said to have picked Victoria for the role after being impressed by her “comic genius”.’
`[An Australian] court ruling has given the recording industry the green light to go after individuals who link to material from their websites, blogs or MySpace pages that is protected by copyright.
A full bench of the Federal Court yesterday upheld an earlier ruling that Stephen Cooper, the operator of mp3s4free.net, as well as the internet service provider that hosted the website, were guilty of authorising copyright infringement because they provided a search engine through which a user could illegally download MP3 files.
The website did not directly host any copyright-protected music, but the court held that simply providing links to the material effectively authorised copyright infringement.’
`Hell Pizza is not concerned by a call by a Catholic newspaper to boycott its products in response to a recent condom mail-out.
To promote its Lust pizza, Hell distributed 170,000 condoms, along with explicit instructions on their use, to homes around the country. [..]
As well as promoting Hell pizzas, the campaign was meant to draw attention to New Zealand’s high rate of teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections, Mr MacGibbon said. [..]
They weren’t worried about a possible boycott, and stood by Hell’s products, [the manager] said.
“If the Pope himself had tried the Lust pizza he might be a converted customer.”‘
