Cosmic Crush
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`Since Bulgaria joined the European Union, sales of Boza Ale, which claims to give women bigger breasts, has skyrocketed.
European men have been purchasing the beer, made from yeast and fermented flour, for European women since the extra taxes were removed with EU participation, Britain’s the Sun reported Monday.
Bar owners and shopkeepers are also stocking up, the report said.’
That’s pretty fucked up. Almost like it’s from a zombie movie. Except it’s not zombies, it’s rabies.
`A 46-year-old German motorist driving along a busy road suddenly veered to the left and ended up stuck on a railway track – because his satellite navigation system told him to, police said.
The motorist was heading into the north German city of Bremen “when the friendly voice from his satnav told him to turn left”, a spokesman said.
“He did what he was ordered to do and turned his Audi left up over the curb and onto the track of a local streetcar line. He tried to back up off the track but got completely stuck.”
The police spokesman said about a dozen trams were held up until a tow truck arrived to clear the car off the track.
Several German motorists have crashed their cars in recent months, later telling police they were only obeying orders from their satnavs.’
If embedded Flash video doesn’t seem to play properly, try the embedded Windows media file on the other side of the link.
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`New research by the University of Warwick reveals that a Nobel Prize brings more than just cash and kudos – it can also add nearly two years to your life.
The research by Professor Andrew Oswald, an economist at the University of Warwick, and Matthew Rablen, (a former Warwick postgraduate researcher now a government economist), is published this month in a study entitled “Mortality and Immortality”. [..]
Professor Oswald said: “Status seems to work a kind of health-giving magic. Once we do the statistical corrections, walking across that platform in Stockholm apparently adds about 2 years to a scientist’s life-span. How status does this, we just don’t know.”‘
This is the official “Account of the Accident”. It’s quite long but kinda interesting, if you like that sorta thing. 🙂
The full report is also available.
`Better-for-you snacking has come down to this: fresh fruit all but guaranteed to make kids belch.
It’s Fizzy Fruit – whole grapes or slices of apples or pineapples carbonated in a secret process with the same carbon dioxide that’s in soft drinks but without added sugar. [..]
Food scientist Steven Witherly predicts kids may like it so much that overall fruit consumption actually could rise. But Witherly, author of the upcoming book Why Humans Like Junk Food, warns, “The consumption of non-fizzed fruit may decrease.”
One nutritionist is concerned. “Will this get kids used to eating fruit in an unnatural form and deter them from eating it in a natural form?” asks Kelly Brownell, director of the Yale Center for Eating and Weight Disorders. “It’s sad that we’ve come to this state of affairs.”‘
This isn’t just some soccer player rolling around on the ground, crying and pretending to be hurt for a penalty. This is the exception that proves the rule.
[The rule being that soccer is a silly game played by bitches. :)]
British Telecom uses the voice of Tom Baker aka Dr Who for the automated reading of SMS messages. This site has a compilation of lots of amusing sentences said by the synthetic Tom Baker. 🙂
`Controversial singer and animal rights campaigner Pink has backed down on her call for a boycott of Australian wool.
Pink made the statement as part of a video for PETA — People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals — calling for the end of mulesing. [..]
But Pink, who labelled the practice “sadistic”, said she had been misinformed. [..]
“My one mistake was saying to boycott the whole industry, all Australian wool.
“That’s absolutely not right. That’s not my stance. My stance is to boycott mulesing.”‘
‘Hawaii-based NRI comedian, Gautham Prasad has created a huge controversy in India, with his parody of Mahatma Gandhi. The 3 minute 24 second act, on Google’s video sharing site, YouTube, has resulted in angry protests across Ahmedabad , Bhubhaneshwar, Varanasi, with the vulgar portrayal of Gandhi.
The video, shot in the US, shows Prasad clad in Gandhi’s trademark attire, pole dancing and stripping for an audience. Records on YouTube show the video, called ‘Time to get sexy’ was uploaded a month ago.’
`A mother surnamed Zhang who uses her body to teach her son sex education has sparked controversy in Wuhan, capital of Hubei Province. During a gynecological examination at the Wuhan Health Center for Women and Children last Thursday, Zhang brought her son into the examination room, letting him see her body and telling him how a woman becomes pregnant and delivers.
Zhang said she wanted to educate her son, a 14-year-old grade 2 junior middle school student, correctly. Others, including doctors, said she should use better teaching methods.’
‘Amazing footage of a soldier in Iraq who gets shot at by a sniper but the bullet is stopped by the glass in front of him.’
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‘Amazing amateur video from a rooftop of the icy road conditions in Portland. The cars are slipping around like a pinball game. Probably the one day a year you can drive wasted and no one would notice.’
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`Chilean artist Marco Evaristti presented his friends with his newest creation on Thursday night: Meatballs cooked with fat from his own body, extracted by liposuction.
‘Ladies and gentleman, bon appetit and may God bless,’ said Evaristti, a glass in his hand, to his dining companions seated around a table at the Animal Gallery in Chile’s capital, Santiago.
On the plates in front of them was a serving of agnolotti pasta and in the middle, a meatball made with the fat that Evaristti had removed from his body last last year.
‘You are not a cannibal if you eat art,’ he added. He described it as a criticism of the plastic surgery market.’
Also, images of people eating the meatballs.
`A group of men had forced their way into a house and were ransacking the place when passing plain-clothes officers were alerted by a woman inside screaming.
The criminals outnumbered them and were armed with a hammer, knives and chains and attacked the Police officers.
As one of them stabbed at a Policeman with his knife, a mysterious do-gooder appeared from nowhere and attacked him with a samurai sword.
One of the burglars began running away but was stopped by the stranger who struck him on the arm with the sword.
Two of the criminals were arrested, but in true hero style the samurai disappeared before police could speak to him.’
This involves tying a person to each end of a rope then getting the two people to run away from each other. Funny. 🙂
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`Parts of the original DARPAnet were built like a tank to survive a thermonuclear holocaust. But much post-modern net construction is utterly gossamer, all air and microwaves. Wherever the two come together, boxes full of integrated circuits bear labels that specify how much power they can handle, and solid state textbooks reveal how much of the silicon gets hot, and how much just sits around. In short, you can do the math.
A statistically rough (one sigma) estimate might be 75-100 million servers @ ~350-550 watts each.. Call it Forty Billion Watts or ~40 GW. Since silicon logic runs at three volts or so, and an Ampere is some ten to the eighteenth electrons a second, if the average chip runs at a Gigaherz, straightforward calculation reveals that some 50 grams of electrons in motion make up the Internet.
Applying the unreasonable power of dimensional analysis to the small tonnage of silicon involved yields much the same result. [..]’
‘Two things made Chistopher Willever’s drunken theft of a Tobacco Hut even worse as he crawled across the store floor _ a lousy belt and his camera-loving backside.
Omaha’s bare-bottom bandit was sentenced to three to five years in prison today for his March crime that earned him the fitting distinction.
Douglas County District Judge Thomas Otepka told the 22-year-old Willever — quote — “You were an ass in every true sense of the word in this crime.”
Willever’s public defender says Willever was tired of being poor so he drank a fifth of rum and decided to rob the store. ‘
`When it comes to getting down and dirty onscreen, Jenna Jameson knows exactly who she wants to do it for her.
Scarlett Johansson is being lined up to play porn sensation Jenna in a movie of her life story.
The stunning actress has been handpicked by adult movie legend Jenna as her personal choice for the lead in a film adaptation of her book, “How to Make Love Like a Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale.” [..]
Scarlett has already vowed to strip off for the cameras if the right role comes along, saying last year, “I’m not opposed to doing nudity – it would just have to be the right project.”‘
`Tennessee collected almost $1.8 million in taxes on cocaine, crack, moonshine and other “unauthorized substances” in 2006, the second year the tax was in effect.
The $1,773,535 collected last year marked a 3.4 percent increase from 2005.
Drug dealers, moonshiners and other purveyors of controlled and illicit substances are supposed to purchase tax stamps under the 2-year-old law, the state Department of Revenue said in a release.
The tax, dubbed the “crack tax” when enacted, has come under attack from attorneys across the state because it is assessed against the accused before their guilt or innocence was decided.
Sellers don’t have to provide any identifying information in order to get the tax stamp.’
‘Poor workmanship leads to an occupied apartment building toppling over and shattering to pieces.’
‘Residents of the Colombian town of Villa Vieja got a bit of a surprise when a calf was born with six legs, two sets of genitals and two udders.
‘The calf has six legs, two vaginas and six nipples,’ explained the animal’s owner, Salvador Vanegas.
Vanegas, who has been raising cattle for many years, said it was the first time he has seen a calf born with that many legs and vaginas.’
`Duncan, a medium who conducted seances across Britain, was arrested at a time when officials feared details of the upcoming D-Day landings in France could be revealed.
She disclosed — allegedly through contacts in the spirit world — the sinking of two British warships long before the news was officially made public.
She also told the parents of a missing sailor that his ship, HMS Barham, had sunk. That was true, but to preserve morale, the sinking was not announced.
Found guilty of witchcraft, Duncan was jailed for nine months.
Martin said wartime leader Winston Churchill called the conviction “tomfoolery.”‘
‘A French couple is busted having sex in a bank by a group of teenagers with a cell phone camera from across the street. A bit long and shaky but the woman’s reaction when she realizes she was just caught is pretty priceless.’
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`A journalist who saw videotape of the Monday hangings of Saddam Hussein’s half-brother and the dictator’s former chief judge has described how one of the men was decapitated.
New York Times reporter John F. Burns told CNN’s Wolf Blitzer Monday evening that Barzan Hassan’s head “just snapped off,” because he was apparently given too much rope and fell too far — about eight feet — for a man of his medium build and weight.
The hangman’s calculations — a grim science governing the weight of the condemned and how much rope is necessary to kill quickly — were apparently wrong, Burns said.’