‘I am the leading NEE party senate candidate in Belgium. And due to popular demand, I will give 40,000 blowjobs to anyone who requests one on this page.
It started with our response to incredible claims that were made by other parties in Belgium, several parties promised new job opportunities in ridiculous amounts. We responded with a parody campaign for which I posed naked and promised our voters 400.000 new jobs.
This national campaign resulted in international media attention and I received hundreds of e-mails asking for 400,000 blowjobs. If this would get us even more media attention, I’m willing to give 40,000 blowjobs to make the statement.
According to my planning this would take me 500 days to tour around the world, visiting all the ones who signed up for a blowjob on this page, giving 80 blowjobs per day. So the offer is limited, sign up while you still can.’
Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
(3.1meg Windows media)
see it here »
‘As many as five or six U.S. air marshals are now assigned to each U.S.-bound flight from airports in Frankfurt, London and Manchester, England, because of fears terrorists might attempt a coordinated series of mid-air explosions, law enforcement officials tell the Blotter on ABCNews.com.
“We’re afraid someone in the back is going to mix something or light something up, so air marshals are being placed strategically through the plane,” said one senior law enforcement official with direct knowledge of the stepped-up security.
The stepped-up security on flights out of Britain’s Heathrow, Gatwick and Manchester airports began about two weeks ago, based on intelligence reports that another al Qaeda hijacking plot was in the making, the officials said.’
‘Here’s the naked truth about nude recreation: The people who practice it aren’t getting any younger.
To draw 20- and 30-somethings, nudist groups and camps are trying everything from deep discounts on membership fees to a young ambassador program that encourages college and graduate students to talk to their peers about having fun in the buff.
“We don’t want the place to turn into a gated assisted living facility,” said Gordon Adams, membership director at Solair Recreation League, a nudist camp in northeastern Connecticut that recently invited students from dozens of New England schools to a college day in hopes of piquing their interest.
The median age is 55 at Solair, where a yearly membership is $500 for people older than 40, $300 for people younger than 40 and $150 for college students.’
‘Media Rights Technologies and its digital radio subsidiary BlueBeat.com said in a press release Thursday that it had issued cease and desist letters to the high-tech titans. It argues that the companies have manufactured billions of copies of Windows Vista, Adobe Flash Player, Real Player and Apple’s iTunes and iPod “without regard for the DMCA or the rights of American intellectual property owners.” [..]
MRT, based in Santa Cruz, Calif., argues that its X1 SeCure Recording Control technology has been “proven effective” as such a protective measure by plugging the “digital hole” that allows even copy-protected music streams, when played back, to be captured and potentially copied. The company says that because the companies are avoiding use of its purportedly effective product, they are violating the DMCA.
“We’ve given these four companies 10 days to talk to us and work out a solution, or we will go into federal court and file action and seek an injunction to remove the infringing products from the marketplace,” CEO Hank Risan said in a phone interview Friday. [..]’
‘South Korea’s LG Philips LCD has developed the world’s first A4-sized colour electronic-paper – a paper-thin and bendable viewing panel.
The e-paper – which measures 35.9cm across its diagonal and is just 300 micrometres (0.3 millimetres) thin – can display up to 4096 colours, the world’s second largest liquid crystal display maker said in a statement.
It is designed to be energy-efficient, only using power when the image changes on the display, it said.’
‘This guy was sick of his roommate slamming the door every morning at 6am so he buttered the tile floor and set up a camera to teach him a lesson. And if that wasnt enough, he got him again later that day.’
(3.0meg Windows media)
see it here »
‘A student told yesterday how he lost his mobile phone after being “mugged” by an angry flock of geese.
Sam Rozati, 23, was attacked by four birds as he walked past their nest.
They pecked so hard he dropped his phone.
Then one bird grabbed the mobile and disappeared into the undergrowth in Colchester, Essex.
Final-year law student Sam said: “They flew over and started biting my hand until I dropped the phone. I had to move away for my safety.”
His attempts to find his phone have failed — as it is set on silent.’
‘Four of the five people arrested after a Mother’s Day brawl that shut down a crowded buffet-style restaurant yesterday afternoon entered not guilty pleas to assault and rioting charges in Toledo Municipal Court today. [..]
Authorities said Christine Lewandowski, 56, repeatedly asked Ms. Harris to quiet her 1-year-old child, who was sitting in a high chair screaming. When the infant continued to scream, Ms. Lewandowski shouted at the baby to “shut up,” police said. Ms. Harris responded by punching the woman, igniting the brawl that involved as many as 15 people in the restaurant, police said.
About 10 Toledo Police units responded to the melee with an estimated 15 people involved inside the restaurant. Five people were arrested and six people were hurt, including four who were taken to hospitals for minor injuries.’
‘Passengers on a United Airlines Boeing 747 endured a horrendous 27-hour journey from San Francisco to Sydney yesterday, when their flight was left stranded on the tarmac at Brisbane Airport – without a crew.
Fog in Sydney forced the diversion of two United flights to Brisbane early yesterday. But passengers on both aircraft were left to fend for themselves when their United crews clocked off, having exceeded their legal flying hours.
Nor were the passengers allowed to leave the aircraft, because customs at Brisbane was unable to clear them. “Due to [Department of Transport] regulations, passengers were kept on board for safety and security reasons,” an airline spokeswoman said in an email to the Herald.’
‘A company that took its time, did everything right, and migrated to Vista recounted the full horror of the experience. According to their account, company employees found Vista to be slow, Explorer to be problematic, and other quirks that left them less than satisfied.
The Transit company took the optimal path. They waited for the typical new release bugs to be worked out. They purchased a new PC from a major vendor, Lenovo, that had Vista pre-installed in order to avoid upgrade nightmares. Finally, they kept the installed software on the computer at a minimum to avoid complications.
The verdict? “…we’ve found nothing that works better than in Windows XP, dozens of things that are annoyingly different without being a functional improvement, and several things that work at best intermittently and at worst not at all. On the whole, we wish we’d never moved,” Angus Kidman said in a Blog report carried by ITWire.’
‘Wildlife officials in Florida are expected to announce Monday that they want to make it illegal for developers to entomb tortoises.
Recently, Local 6 reported how it is legal to bury tortoises alive as long as construction crews have the proper permit. [..]
“For a price tag of a quarter million dollars, the Expressway Authority legally began to pave over the only openings to the tortoises’ burrows — essentially burying them alive,” Diaz said.
“They are immobilized and can’t get out of their burrow,” a wildlife official said. “It can take up to a year to die one biologist has told us. It can take that long before they die of suffocation, dehydration or starvation.” [..]
“Just because you can bury alive gopher tortoises, doesn’t necessarily mean you should,” a commissioner told Local 6 News.’
‘Police say traffic is returning to normal after a truck load of peanut butter spilled across a busy intersection in Melbourne’s north this morning.
Traffic had been disrupted by slippery conditions after the truck lost its load at the corner of Settlement Road and Dalton Road, Thomastown shortly before 6am.
Workers from the local council were called in with equipment to absorb the oil from the peanut butter.
Police spokesman Senior Constable Leigh Wadeson told ABC radio he did not know whether the peanut butter was crunchy or smooth.’
‘A police officer will avoid criminal charges despite admitting he took marijuana from criminal suspects and, with his wife, baked it into brownies.
The police department’s decision not to pursue a case against former Cpl. Edward Sanchez left a bad taste in the mouth of at least one city official, who vowed to investigate. [..]
The department’s investigation began with a 911 call from Sanchez’s home on April 21, 2006. On a 5-minute tape of the call, obtained by the Free Press, Sanchez told an emergency dispatcher he thought he and his wife were overdosing on marijuana.
“I think we’re dying,” he said. “We made brownies and I think we’re dead, I really do.”‘
Also, there’s a recording of the 911 call. 🙂
(13.2meg Windows media)
see it here »
‘Willie Tarpley Jr. knew this much about his ex-wife’s new boyfriend: The man was a convicted sex offender and Tarpley didn’t want his children anywhere near him.
So Saturday night at about 8, Tarpley, 46, drove to his old house, grabbed one of his samurai swords, a katana, out of the garage and threatened to use the 42-inch blade to cut off the boyfriend’s head.
The boyfriend, Lee Alexander, 25, of Indian Lakes Estates near Lake Wales, tried to flee, but hit Tarpley’s Corvette in the driveway. That’s when Tarpley reached into the open car window and plunged his sword into Alexander’s body, Hillsborough County sheriff’s spokeswoman Debbie Carter said.’
It gets stranger.
‘Japanese police arrested a 17-year-old boy today on suspicion of murdering his mother after he turned up at a police station carrying a severed human head in a bag.
Police in Aizuwakamatsu, Fukushima prefecture, 200km north of Tokyo, said they arrested the teenager, a student at a local high school, after officers found a beheaded body in the apartment where he lived.
The boy told police he killed his mother last night while she was asleep, Kyodo news agency said.’
‘Guns are deeply rooted within Swiss culture – but the gun crime rate is so low that statistics are not even kept.
The country has a population of six million, but there are estimated to be at least two million publicly-owned firearms, including about 600,000 automatic rifles and 500,000 pistols.
This is in a very large part due to Switzerland’s unique system of national defence, developed over the centuries.
Instead of a standing, full-time army, the country requires every man to undergo some form of military training for a few days or weeks a year throughout most of their lives.’
They might need to repaint the bottom of the plane. 🙂
(1.6meg Windows media)
see it here »
‘I’ll try to sum up a funny story that happened a few years ago:
I got a vasectomy.
I met a girl soon afterwards. She was nice and attractive but with a selfish streak that raised a big red flag. She was 32 at the time and I could practically HEAR her biological clock ticking. Regardless, she was a good lay, easy on the eyes, and reasonably good company.
I did NOT tell her about my vasectomy and I always used a condom with her to protect against STDs. She assumed, obviously, that the condom was only used for birth control. Silly girl.
We date for a few months. I never made any move towards commitment but she brought it up ocassionally. For me, this was a casual but pleasant relationship. For her – as I was to find out – it was part of life-changing series of events that she was planning very carefully.
Four months into dating, I get the “I’m pregnant” talk. She’s going on and on about how the condom must have broke and now we really need to think about getting married “for the baby”. She’s positively giddy. She has a baby in her and she thinks she’s gonna have a good meal ticket (me) to go along with her new 7lb annuity.’
Historians agree..
Also, more of the ugly truth.
‘Police in Verona Beach, N.Y., say a six-year-old died while reaching for scissors on top of a refrigerator when she fell from a chair and the blades stabbed her in the neck.
The girl apparently wanted the scissors to cut off gum that was stuck in her hair.
Police said she was standing on a wheeled, office-style chair when it moved and she lost her balance Friday night. She was pronounced dead at a hospital.’
‘WENN is reporting that Mr. T, Dick Benedict, and Dwight Schultz will appear on British export ‘Most Haunted’ in a ghost-chasing attempt to contact the soul of George Peppard. Honestly, Mr. T., are you that desperate to get back on the air? This grizzly train-wreck makes ‘Celebrity Boxing’ seem classy.
Possibly the funniest/saddest portion of this pathetic cash grab is the extremely documented and extremely tumultuous relationship between George Peppard and Mr. T. Peppard, a surly and cantankerous old man, hated Mr. T. with the passion and vigor known only to Satan and Pastor Fred Phelps. I wonder how he feels about his over-the-hill arch nemesis using his soul for monetary reward.’
‘Women in Myanmar not only have to watch out for pickpockets when they’re commuting, shopping or walking down the street, but also hair thieves, a weekly journal reported Sunday.
Long-haired women in crowded areas have fallen victim to surreptitious hair snippers who steal their hair to sell, the Burmese-language 24/7 news journal reported. [..]
Many women in Myanmar have waist- or knee-length hair which they wear in a ponytail, making it easy for thieves to snip off the hair and sell it as extensions. [..]
The report said the price of hair has increased as demand for hair as an export or raw material rises. A viss (1.6 kilograms; 3.5 pounds) of hair is worth between 400,000 kyats ($320) and 500,000 kyats ($400), it said.’
‘If you hadn’t heard, TechCrunch20, the conference which alleges to put a sense of merit back into startup conferences, has declared MC Hammer a Web2.0 “expert” and put him on the panel of judges. These judges will select amongst the bajillions of entries the rarified few who will present their wares to VC’s and industries insiders over a two day period.
Who are the other judges?
* Mark Andreeson, founder of Netscape.
* Chris Anderson, Editor-In-Chief of Wired.
* Dave Winer, grandfather of RSS, and author of one of the first blogs ever.’
Also, stop! It’s hammer time..
(10meg Flash video)
see it here »
‘Until recently, I had never heard of cluster headaches, and neither had my friend Bob, which isn’t his name for reasons that will soon be evident.
Bob was in his late 40s with no medical problems.
Out of nowhere he began having headaches. These were not the two-aspirin kind, or even migraines. They were monsters. I realized this one night at his house. For an hour he lay on the floor, screaming. We’re not talking moaning and grousing. Screaming.
Clueless, he went to the Web and discovered cluster headaches. They are hideous. His symptoms were par for the course. [..]
From Neurology, the magazine of the American Academy of Neurology: “The authors interviewed 53 cluster headache patients who had used psilocybin or lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD) to treat their condition.
“Twenty-two of 26 psilocybin users reported that psilocybin aborted attacks; 25 of 48 psilocybin users and seven of eight LSD users reported cluster period termination …”‘
There’s a video of what a cluster headache does to a person here. Doesn’t look fun at all.
(7.6meg Windows media)
‘The internet giant Google has plans to compile psychological profiles of millions of web users by covertly monitoring the way they play online games.
The company thinks it can glean information about an individual’s preferences and personality type by tracking his or her online behaviour, which could then be sold to advertisers.
Details such as whether a person is more likely to be aggressive, hostile or dishonest could be stored for future use, it says.’
Anyone who thinks wrestling is fake should watch this clip to see just how wrong you are. 🙂
(3.5meg Flash video)
see it here »
‘*Anony-X has joined #mac*
sometimes when im masturbating i look at pictures of dogs. not dogs having sex or anything, just dogs. like chasing frisbees and shit. just the way they move and their bark gets me so hot. i can fit 3 more fingers in my pussy when theres a dog around.
mac users, i swear to god…
*Anony-X has left #mac*’
‘He has flippers instead of feet — and certainly no sneakers or hiking boots. But that didn’t stop a sea lion from joining schoolchildren on a walk-a-thon.
The marine mammal apparently noticed children doing laps Friday morning around a course they had set up at the Marin Country Day School next to the shores of the San Francisco Bay. The 185-pound Steller sea lion waddled ashore, shocking students and teachers.
“He did a whole lap,” said Kelly Watson, director of constituent relations and web communications at the private school.’
