‘This gum has no flavor. It is as pointless as life itself. As unsatisfying as your empty shell of an existence. Like everything else on this wretched planet, it is a dead end. A black hole. A bottomless pit of missed opportunity and shattered dreams.
If you agree with any of the above statements, then Nihilist gum is for you. (If you agree with ALL of the statements, then stop reading this page and seek professional help immediately.)’
‘One of my friends used to work in the parade dancing as different characters. After each parade ends, its basically their job to go and shake the kiddies hands without falling too far behind the group. So one Christmas, this friend was dressed in a gingerbread man outfit with this creepy looking face for a Christmas themed parade. When it was time to go around and shake the kiddies hands, this one kid just held on and wouldn’t let go of his massive ginger hand. And now his pack is leaving him behind as they go off to end the parade, so my friend gets level to the kids face and whispers so only the kid can hear, “I’M GOING TO KILL YOU.” The kid automatically lets go. He then gets up and merrily danced away from a completely traumatized and crying child.’
‘So… What happens when you mail a letter to someone, but instead of putting a 39 cent stamp from the post office, you just tape on some loose change adding up to 39 cents?’
‘Brian May, the multimillionaire guitarist who founded the rock group Queen, has finally completed the PhD in astrophysics that he abandoned more than 30 years ago.
The 59-year-old composer of hits such as Fat Bottomed Girls and We Will Rock You turned his back on the stars for international fame with Freddie Mercury and his band. His thesis on interplanetary dust clouds lay gathering dust of its own in the attic of his home in Surrey.
May’s interest in the subject was rekindled last year when he co-authored a children’s science book with the astronomer Sir Patrick Moore. He discovered that remarkably little research had been done in the intervening 33 years.’
‘Stolen gunpowder went up with a bang when a teenager flicked cigarette ash near the open bottle, according to the Terrebonne Parish Sheriff’s Office.
Alex Joshua Horn and Johnathan Anthony Porche, both 19 and from Bayou Black, remained in jail Wednesday on charges of shoplifting and possessing or making a bomb. Both were arrested Sunday evening.
Wal-Mart workers had called the sheriff’s office that evening, saying three teenagers had been asking about gunpowder and PVC pipe.
About 8 p.m. Sunday, deputies were called to a house in Bayou Black, where they found damage from an explosion in the kitchen and dining room. They also found Horn, a resident of the house, and Porche, who lives a block away.’
‘Parking spaces in New York cost as much as $225,000 and could soon be going higher still, putting the cost for the prime spots above the price tag of the typical U.S. home price.
Manhattan real estate agent Tom Postilio said there is a waiting list of seven or eight people hoping to pay $225,000 for one of five private parking spaces that has been approved in the basement of 246 West 17th Street, a 34-unit condo development scheduled for completion next January.
The developer of that building is seeking permission to add another four spots, and Postilio said the addition spots are likely to cost even more than the current price, although he could not give an exact price.’
‘Physicist Lawrence Krauss and Case Western Reserve colleagues think they have found the answer to the paradox. In a paper accepted for publication in Physical Review D, they have constructed a lengthy mathematical formula that shows, in effect, black holes can’t form at all. The key involves the relativistic effect of time, Krauss explains. As Einstein demonstrated in his Theory of General Relativity, a passenger inside a spaceship traveling toward a black hole would feel the ship accelerating, while an outside observer would see the ship slow down. When the ship reached the event horizon, it would appear to stop, staying there forever and never falling in toward oblivion. In effect, Krauss says, time effectively stops at that point, meaning time is infinite for black holes. If black holes radiate away their mass over time, as Hawking showed, then they should evaporate before they even form, Krauss says. It would be like pouring water into a glass that has no bottom. In essence, physicists have been arguing over a trick question for 40 years.’
‘[..] I had recently read a few articles on submersion cooling, where you take your computer and dump it into a tub of non-electrically-conductive oil. It seemed to work really well, and was cheap. So I saw it as a type of poor man’s water-cooling.
I bought a large aluminium oven tray and 9 litres of canola oil.’
‘It’s a squid, it’s an octopus, it’s … a mystery from the deep.
What appears to be a half-squid, half-octopus specimen found off Keahole Point on the Big Island remains unidentified today and could possibly be a new species, said local biologists.
The specimen was found caught in a filter in one of Natural Energy Laboratory of Hawaii Authority’s deep-sea water pipelines last week. The pipeline, which runs 3,000 feet deep, sucks up cold, deep-sea water for the tenants of the natural energy lab.
“When we first saw it, I was really delighted because it was new and alive,” said Jan War, operations manager at NELHA. “I’ve never seen anything like that.”‘
‘The first NASA sign at launch pad 39A encouraging the next launch of space shuttle Endeavour at Kennedy Space Center was misspelled and noticed by someone looking at the craft.
When the shuttle rolled out from the Vehicle Assembly Building Wednesday, a giant “Go Endeavour” sign was put on a fence in front of the craft.
However, one item was missing from the sign: the “u” in Endeavour.
Someone spotted the mistake and called KSC to fix it, WKMG-TV reported.
NASA scrambled someone out to pad 39A with a new sign that has orbiter Endeavour’s name spelled correctly.’
‘Police in Iran are reported to have taken 14 squirrels into custody – because they are suspected of spying.
The rodents were found near the Iranian border allegedly equipped with eavesdropping devices. [..]
The IRNA said that the squirrels were kitted out by foreign intelligence services – but they were captured two weeks ago by police officers.
A Foreign Office source told Sky News: “The story is nuts.”‘
‘Auto-finance specialist Nizameddine Hassan Chokr lives the life men crave. He works undercover missions for the FBI, belongs to a Middle Eastern family worth at least $6 billion and can fly fighter jets. By his own “cautious” estimation, the Costa Mesa man is well-educated, healthy and adored.
What’s more remarkable about Chokr is, for lack of a better word, his mojo. His presence can turn female strangers relentlessly horny. Bus stops, cheap hotel parking lots and fast-food restaurants are among the places women have demanded sex from him. He’s not even safe from lust in a donut shop.
Chokr acknowledges it’s not always his striking looks and intelligence that mesmerize women. He has a secret weapon, and when he’s wearing his tight 1992 Fashion Avenue suede pants, the opposite sex can’t resist him.
That is Chokr’s version of reality. Police, on the other hand, say the Beirut, Lebanon, native is one of Orange County’s serial public masturbators.’
This is what happens when your friends decide to throw a hammer to you.
(2.1meg Flash video)
‘A woman has been banned from going into the sea around the British coastline after trying to drown herself more than 50 times.
Amy Beth Dallamura’s suicide attempts over the past five years have cost emergency services up to £1million.
The 44-year-old has tried to kill herself by jumping off piers and jetties and wading into the ocean.
Police, lifeboats, coastguards and the RAF’s air and sea rescue helicopters have all been involved in rescuing her. [..]
The former golf professional was stopped by police from going into the sea on June 21.
Later that day she was winched from a cliff face after again trying to go into the sea.
On June 23, she had to be airlifted to hospital after going into the sea and being pulled out of the water. Two days later she phoned police threatening to kill herself in the sea. She was found on rocks suffering from hypothermia.’
‘A man has been arrested after an armoured personnel carrier (APC) was taken on a rampage in Sydney’s western suburbs.
Mt Druitt police on patrol discovered the armoured vehicle destroying an electricity substation in Sterling Road, Minchinbury, at about 2am (AEST) today.
They followed the APC through several suburbs, including Mt Druitt, Dharruk, Emerton, Glendenning and Plumpton.
The APC left a path of destruction, bringing down a number of mobile phone towers and relay sheds, police said.
The pursuit ended in Dean Park after about 90 minutes, when the vehicle stalled as it was being driven towards another mobile phone tower.’
‘Envelopes containing 10,000 yen ($82) bills and well-wishing notes have been discovered in municipal toilets across Japan, media reports said, baffling civil servants and triggering a nationwide hunt.
Local media have estimated that over two million yen ($16,400) worth of bills were found at men’s rooms in city halls in at least 15 prefectures (states) in recent weeks.
Each package of 10,000-yen bills, some wrapped in traditional Japanese washi paper, was accompanied by handwritten letters that read “Please make use of this money for your self-enrichment,” and “One per person,” according to reports.’
‘Police on Capitol Hill are baffled by an attempted robbery that began with a handgun put to the head of a teenager and ended in a group hug. [..]
“Give me your money, or I’ll start shooting,” he said, according to D.C. police and witnesses.
Everyone froze, including the girl’s parents. Then one guest spoke.
“We were just finishing dinner,” Cristina “Cha Cha” Rowan, 43, told the man. “Why don’t you have a glass of wine with us?”
The intruder had a sip of their Chateau Malescot St-Exupery and said, “Damn, that’s good wine.” [..]
The story then turns even more bizarre.
“I think I may have come to the wrong house,” he said before apologizing. “Can I get a hug?”‘
That friend of mine who films a lot of gigs has made a bit of a mashup. It’s kinda amusing. 🙂
‘What do you get when you get the Canberra band Tonk, a pub full of people, a video camera, and the most annoying soundtrack known to mankind? Watch and find out…’
Followup to When Gigs Go Homo.
(2.3meg Flash video)
This prompt used to annoy the crap out of me. Not anymore, hopefully. 🙂
‘Police helped a Boston man find his lost 3-year-old son at South Shore Plaza, then charged the father with stealing
Officers arrested Jonathan Williams because of what they said he was doing when his boy wandered away, Deputy Police Chief Russell Jenkins said. [..]
Stolen clothing was found in a bag that Williams had left at a customer service desk while looking for his son, Deputy Jenkins said.
He was arrested and charged with larceny.’
This is a video made in 1994 by Digital talking about the wonders of the internet.
I remember those days. All I needed was a bash shell and telnet. 🙂
(6.3meg Flash video)
‘Kate Penland said she was glad to board the plane in Houston after an 11-hour delay to visit her father in Oklahoma. But she said a rude and aggressive flight attendant caused her to get to Oklahoma a day late. [..]
“As we started taxiing, he started saying ‘Bye, bye plane,’ said Penland. “At the end of her speech, she leaned over the gentleman beside me and said, ‘It’s not funny anymore. You need to shut your baby up.’
In disbelief, Penland asked the woman if she was kidding. It was then, Penland said, the flight attendant went too far.
“She then said, ‘You know, it’s called baby Benadryl. And I said, ‘Well, I’m not going to drug my child so you have a pleasant flight.”
‘A 75 year old woman from Karlstad in central Sweden has been thrust into the IT history books – with the world’s fastest internet connection.
Sigbritt Löthberg’s home has been supplied with a blistering 40 Gigabits per second connection, many thousands of times faster than the average residential link and the first time ever that a home user has experienced such a high speed.
But Sigbritt, who had never had a computer until now, is no ordinary 75 year old. She is the mother of Swedish internet legend Peter Löthberg who, along with Karlstad Stadsnät, the local council’s network arm, has arranged the connection.’
‘At my store, searching and copying files was not a common practice at all. We were the good guys of the district. One day, however, a gorgeous woman walked in with her computer complaining of her PC locking up when she went to use her webcam. She refused to give us her website so we knew something was up. She authorized us to do a tune-up to remove unneeded files and update her to SP2. During the cleanup process, we saw that her Norton Protected Recycle Bin was consuming 12gigs of files. [..]
So how about that? Not only did the techs steal porn from a customer…they forfeited the revenue from a new computer AND from an on-site visit for the sole purpose of getting more porn.’
‘Jennings Police Department employee, Eleanor Beal was just crossing the street to go to work when something dropped from the sky.
The sky wasn’t falling. She says it was worms, large tangled clumps of them.
Beal says, “When I saw that they were crawling, I said, ‘It’s worms! Get out of the way!'” [..]
Where they came from is a mystery, but some believe that a water spout spotted less than five miles away at that same time near Lacassine Bayou could have something to do with it.’
‘Thieves have stolen nearly $US300 million ($347m) from a bank in Baghdad, police and a bank official said today, in what is probably one of the biggest thefts in Iraq since the 2003 war to topple Saddam Hussein.
Police said the thieves were three guards who worked at the private Dar Es Salaam bank in Baghdad’s Karrada district.
They said that when bank employees arrived for work yesterday they found the front door open and the money gone.
The guards, who normally slept at the bank, had also disappeared, they said.’
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