moonbuggy

‘Fuck! You! Oh shit! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!’

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‘I was pottering along (thankfully not in the Skyline) the other day and following my sat-nav when it decided to direct me up a lane which was deemed “Not Suitable for Motor Vehicles” according to the road sign at it’s entrance. Thinking this may spruce up an otherwise uneventful journey, I took this to be a challange.

So, around 2 miles in to the lane, I was bobbing along at a steady 40 and couldn’t see what the bid deal was. Even the ex (although hardly the benchmark for intelligence and awareness) didn’t notice anything to be out of the norm. Until I had to slow down for a corner – and sank [..]’

‘Little kid jumps from the top of the garbage can onto his buddy. The second go round he gets a little surprise.’

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‘A man stole a bulldozer from a construction site and slammed into the Troy police station early Friday morning, police said.

Police said Stanley Burt, 34, stole a bulldozer, drove it up a road in Troy, maneuvered behind Town Hall and crashed it into the police department.

“Mr. Burt drove the bulldozer into the police station, backed up, drove it in again, backed up and hit it a final time,” Sgt. David Griffin said.

The entranceway and front wall of the building were destroyed, the power was out and some computers were damaged, police said. No one was in the building, and an officer patrolling the area saw him in the act, police said.

“Mr. Burt had a number of contacts with the Troy Police Department,” Griffin said. “We believe he’s venting his anger.”‘

‘Managers have apologised after maggots from a dead seagull fell through the ceiling of the maternity unit at Scarborough Hospital.

Medical director Dr Ian Holland said the bird had died on the roof, which was not an area covered by regular maintenance checks.

He stressed there was no health risk to patients or babies at any time.

“Living at the seaside, seagulls are a part of our lives, but this was entirely unforeseeable,” he added.’

‘A man looking for a new home on an online mapping service has stumbled across an aerial image of a US nuclear-powered submarine in dry dock showing a part of the vessel that wasn’t meant to be seen.

The image – which appears on Microsoft’s Virtual Earth mapping service – is of the seven-bladed propeller used on an Ohio class ballistic missile submarine.

The vessel was being worked on at a dry dock at the Naval Base Kitsap-Bangor in Washington State, in the north-west of the United States. The base is part of Bangor’s Strategic Weapons Facility Pacific which houses the largest nuclear weapons arsenal.

Propeller designs have been closely guarded secrets since the days of the Cold War. It is still common for them to be draped with tarps or removed and covered when a submarine is out of the water.

The propeller design is an integral part of a submarine’s ability to remain undetected during operations, ensuring that it can patrol the seas in stealth without giving its position away to surface ships.’

A woman takes a lover during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9
year old son comes home unexpectedly so she puts him in the closet and
shuts the door. Her husband also comes home, so she puts her lover in the
closet with the little boy.

The little boy says, “Dark in here”
The man says, “Yes, it is.”
Boy: “I have a baseball”
Man: “That’s nice”
Boy: “Want to buy it?”
Man: “No, thanks.”
Boy: “My dad’s outside”
Man: “OK, how much?”
Boy: “$25.”

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in
the closet together.

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There are many, many other people who just love Mike Vick.

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‘The man who threw a rock over a cliff that hit and killed a Wyoming climber expressed guilt and remorse in his first public comments since the Aug. 11 incident.

Luke Rodolph, a 23-year-old Iraq war veteran from Casper, said that he has spent a lot of time praying and reading the Bible and that he accepts responsibility for what happened and won’t try to justify his actions.

“I’d do anything to change it,” Rodolph said Tuesday with tears in his eyes.

Peter Absolon, 47, of Lander, was killed instantly when he was struck in the head by the rock, which was about the size of a bowling ball, while climbing a new route up the cliff face of Leg Lake Cirque in the Wind River Mountains near Lander.’

‘This document describes the various keyboard combinations that you can use with the flight simulator features of Google Earth. To enter the flight simulator mode, press Ctrl + Alt + A (Command/Open Apple Key + Option + A on the Mac). Once you have entered flight simulator mode for the first time, you can re-enter the mode by choosing Tools > Enter Flight Simulator. To leave flight simulator mode, click Exit Flight Simulator in the top right corner or press Ctrl + Alt + A (Command/Open Apple Key+ Option + A on the Mac).’

‘When George W. Bush flies into Sydney tonight, one very awkward question will be in the minds of Australian security staff: where are the rocket launchers?

The failure to be able to answer that question comes at the end of one of the most extraordinary searches seen in this country – involving, at different times, up to 30 officers from ASIO, the Australian Federal Police and NSW Police.

APEC has always been a deadline to find the weapons – people don’t take rocket launchers to hold up the corner store so whoever knows where they are is almost certainly prepared to use them to cause major damage. [..]

But the fact that there are nine rocket launchers believed to be in the vicinity of Sydney as a meeting of world leaders begins has meant in recent months this operation has become one of the highest priorities of ASIO.’

‘Cosmetic procedures billed as “vaginal rejuvenation,” “designer vaginoplasty” or even “revirgination” are not medically necessary and are not guaranteed to be safe, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists cautioned on Friday.
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The group, which educates and accredits doctors who treat women and deliver babies, said it is deceptive to give the impression that any of these procedures are accepted or routine.

In guidance published in the September issue of its journal, Obstetrics & Gynecology, the group, known as ACOG, said the procedures can cause complications such as infection, altered sensation, pain and scarring.

The procedures include changing the shape or size of the labia, “restoring” the hymen, and tightening the vagina.’

‘After months of media speculation, BBC One can confirm that the Bafta-award winning Doctor Who will return for a fifth series in spring 2010.

Viewers are in for a treat this Christmas, as a special episode starring David Tennant and Kylie Minogue will be broadcast on BBC One in December 2007. Series four, which went into production in July 2007, will hit UK screens in spring 2008 with a special episode for Christmas 2008.

In 2009, Doctor Who will return with three specials starring David Tennant, with Head Writer, Russell T Davies. The full length fifth series will transmit in 2010.’

‘For some people they are just naturally good at water sports like surfing and boogie boarding, as if they were born in water. This kid is not one of those people.’

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‘A Washington County woman is accused of paying two prostitutes to have sex with her 12-year-old nephew, WTAE Channel 4’s Sheldon Ingram reported Thursday.

“My anger is out of control,” said the boy’s mother, whose name is not being released in order to protect the child’s identity.

Donora police said Linda Van Pool, 36, is charged with endangering the welfare of a child, soliciting prostitution and corruption of a minor. [..]

Police said Van Pool brought her nephew to separate locations — one on Fifth Street and one on Linden Way — for the sexual activity.

“I didn’t know that she would take him to those type of women. I didn’t think they existed in this area. I thought you had to go to Pittsburgh for that,” she said.’

‘Jet Propulsion Laboratory scientists and engineers sued NASA and the California Institute of Technology on Thursday, challenging extensive new background checks that the space exploration center and other federal agencies began requiring in the wake of the Sept. 11 terror attacks.

The lawsuit says NASA is violating the Constitution by calling on employees – everyone from janitors to visiting professors – to permit investigators to delve into medical, financial and past employment records, and to question friends and acquaintances about everything from their finances to sex lives. Those who refuse could lose their jobs, the suit says.

“They don’t tell you what they’re looking for, they don’t tell you when they’re looking for it, they won’t tell us what they’re doing with the data,” said plaintiff Susan Foster, a technical writer and editor at JPL for nearly 40 years.’

‘The passengers on board the Vatican’s first flight to Lourdes may have been pilgrims in search of spiritual healing, but they still had to obey anti-terrorism rules, it has emerged, after several of them had their holy water confiscated.

The Vatican’s new service, a Boeing 737 painted in yellow-and-white papal livery, took off from Rome’s Fiumicino airport on Monday, serving swordfish canapes to 148 pilgrims reclining on headrests stamped with the message: “I search for your face, oh Lord”.

While the outward journey was smooth, turbulence struck on the return when anti-terror rules were strictly applied by the French police.

No bottles containing more than 100ml of liquid were allowed on board unless checked in, meaning passengers were forced give up the holy water they had just collected at Lourdes.

Many hoped to ferry the water back to sick relatives.

Instead, dozens of plastic containers in the shape of the Madonna were left at security, while one man decided to drink all of his.’

‘Tackling a dilemma right out of a science fiction novel, the state Senate passed legislation Thursday that would bar employers from requiring workers to have identification devices implanted under their skin.

State Sen. Joe Simitian (D-Palo Alto) proposed the measure after at least one company began marketing radio frequency identification devices for use in humans.

The devices, as small as a grain of rice, can be used by employers to identify workers. A scanner passing over a body part implanted with one can instantly identify the person.

“RFID is a minor miracle, with all sorts of good uses,” Simitian said. “But we shouldn’t condone forced ‘tagging’ of humans. It’s the ultimate invasion of privacy.”‘

‘This self help dude pulls a member of the audience up to assist with his presentation and ends up talking her into trusting him as she falls backwards off a later. He then lets her fall to the ground smacking her head on the floor.’

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‘A naked man driving along the Indiana Toll Road was arrested and charged because his lewd conduct distracted other motorists, police said.

The 37-year-old Chicago man was traveling east to Ohio to visit his mother, police said. He was nude and had petroleum jelly on his hands when a state trooper pulled him over about 10 miles from the Ohio line Wednesday, police said.

The man, who told police he was comfortable driving in the nude, was charged with misdemeanor indecent exposure, punishable by up to a year in jail.’

‘Julius Caesar lay dead and Brutus was talking to his co-conspirators about swords and blood when he paused and excused himself, saying “I seem to have stabbed myself.”

Aspen actor/director Kent Hudson Reed accidently cut his leg open with the knife he was using in an outdoor performance of “Scenes from Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar” on Wednesday.

He tried to carry on, “but my boot was filling up with blood and I was flubbing my lines, wondering if I was going to pass out, wondering if the audience could see the blood.”

Portia (Susan Mauntel) took Brutus to a hospital for stitches and play narrator Tyson Young announced the performance was canceled.

“That’s what you get for trying to kill Caesar,” he said.’

‘Quentin Tarantino wants to make a 3D porn film.

The ‘Pulp Fiction’ director admits he has been toying with the unusual idea for some time, and thinks it would be the perfect next step for the adult genre.

He told Total Film magazine: “Right now it’s still in my mind. But I’ve been musing at what I would do if I could make a 3D porn film! It hasn’t been green-lit yet, as I still have a few things to work out on it!”

It seems Tarantino has been thinking about X-rated films a lot recently.

Earlier this week, he claimed Gwyneth Paltrow would be a terrible porn actress and insisted he would never cast her in an adult movie.

Tarantino said: “I could do an erotic film, I wouldn’t mind doing a women-in-prison or a cheerleader movie. But I wouldn’t cast someone like Gwyneth Paltrow. It would have to be a cool, trampy actress who says, ‘OK, let’s get the cameras rolling – here we go!'”‘

‘Authorities in North Korea are intensifying a crackdown on imports of South Korean popular culture, especially television dramas, but the South’s “Korean Wave” may already have taken a strong hold in the isolated Stalinist state.

South Korean music, soap operas, and movies have already taken the rest of East Asia by storm, and, according to North Koreans now living in the South, the South’s arch-rival North Korea is no exception. [..]

“There have been two or three reports of public executions of North Korean young people in major cities including Chungjin, as punishment for having illegally copied and distributed South Korean visual material,” said Kang Chul Hwan, vice-chairman of the Seoul-based Committee for the Democratization of North Korea.

“It is not an overstatement to say that the Kim Jong Il regime is waging war on the South Korean TV drama,” he said, adding that the North Korean authorities have intensified surveillance and searches to prevent South Korean videos from entering North Korea.’

Here’s a few videos that involve testicular pain [and often skateboards].

Followup to Skater Has A Rough Landing.

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‘About 300 passengers were forced to leave a train at JR Tsukaguchi Station in Amagasaki after the conductor suffered a violent bout of diarrhea in the driver’s cabin early on Friday, West Japan Railway Co. (JR West) said.

The evacuation took place after the conductor fell ill just before the train pulled in at Tsukaguchi Station. The driver scheduled to take over the train entered the cabin at about 6.15 a.m. to find the floor covered in feces.

Station workers immediately cleaned the floor of the driver’s room, but decided to cancel the train due to the lingering aroma.’

‘A German court has awarded 3,000 euros ($4,100) in damages to a man who had to have the top of his skull replaced with plastic because of a faulty hospital fridge.

Doctors removed the top of the man’s head and put it in cold storage while they operated on his brain, the court in the western city of Koblenz said Tuesday.

Because the refrigerator was defective, the section of skull was not kept cool enough and could not be reattached. Doctors replaced the bone with a plastic prosthesis.’

‘Like a novel written in the first-person voice of an unreliable narrator, If I Did It is not meant—by the publisher, anyway—to be taken at face value. It’s the self-portrait of a wife-abuser who somehow worked himself up into thinking he was a victim. To take O.J. Simpson at his word when he writes that “Nicole was on the fast track to hell, and she was determined to take me and the kids with her,” is like taking Humbert Humbert at his word when he describes as a romantic idyll his molestation of 12-year-old Dolores Haze. As Simpson relates the tale of how his wife gradually lost control and evolved into a menace, clues drop here and there that it is really Simpson himself who was losing control.’

‘ANGRY Catholics have pledged to hold candlelit vigils outside Channel Ten headquarters whenever the steamy new show Californication is on air.

The first vigil was overnight, with more than 30 people praying away their concerns about the louche new dramedy billed as “the filthiest show on television”.

“It’s a spiritual battle,” said Father John Fongemie, who led last night’s demonstration outside the Pyrmont building.

“We’re concerned with the programming that’s being shown on channel Ten, which is crassly immoral, and which casts the Catholic church in a bad light.”

Ronan Reilly, 16, said he was shocked by a clip he saw on the internet of the show’s star David Duchovny having “sexual relations” with a nun inside a church.’

‘A local news team confronts a man who is accused of assaulting his 79 year old mother and he in turns respectfully demonstrates his opinion of TV news.’

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