moonbuggy

I’m coming to get you.. in my DC-8.. there’s no escape.

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‘A jogger was injured after being hit by a frozen Mars bar hurled from a passing car.
The man was running along Sunderland Road, South Shields, when the rock-hard chocolate bar was thrown at him.

Police said the car – a black Nissan or Toyota – then turned round, drove back past the shocked man, and its occupants threw another object at him before driving off.

The bizarre incident, which resulted in the man suffering a swollen ankle, happened at about 10.30am yesterday.’

it was on the news mroing.

‘During a convention demonstrating how to use taser guns over 3000 people volunteered to be tazed in order to experience the effect.’

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Doesn’t seem so tranquil. 🙂

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‘No matter how many times you shot a unicorn, they’re sure to stumble off into the bushes and make one last agony-filled run for the fabled gates of their pastel pink homelands. As long as you put enough holes in your unicorns heart and lungs (click here for a shootin’ diagram), you’ve got nothing to worry about: your unicorn will die coughing up it’s own blood not far from where you capped him. When you find a unicorn you’ve shot, don’t get all excited and run over to touch. The first rule is that unicorns are tricky bitches and often fake death just to lure you within impaling range. To avoid this common and undesirable hunter’s fate, pump a couple of rounds into your unicorn’s torso (just don’t hit the horn!). After a couple of safety shots, take a sharp stick and jab it into the unicorn’s eyeball. If the unicorn doesn’t move, congrats, you’ve killed him! If the unicorn still thrashed and makes nasty noises, shot, poke and repeat as many times as necessary.’

‘An improved smoking water pipe or bong comprising a chamber containing water in its lower portion, its upper portion serving as a smoke collection reservoir; a bowl for combusting tobacco or medicinal herbs, the smoke directed through a tube to the water chamber below the water [..]’

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‘A Spanish businessman withdrew a controversial lawsuit Wednesday against the family of a teenage boy he struck and killed while driving a luxury car.

Tomas Delgado had filed a suit asking the dead boy’s parents to pay him €20,000 ($29,400) on the grounds that the collision that killed their teenage son also damaged his Audi A-8.

News of the case sparked outrage in Spain and generated deep sympathy for the parents of 17-year-old Enaitz Iriondo Trinidad. He was riding his bicycle home to a campground when Delgado’s car hit and killed him in August 2004.

Hundreds of people descended on a courthouse in northern Spain in a show of support for the boy’s parents Wednesday. They broke into applause when word came that Delgado had dropped the suit.’

Followup to Driver who killed teen sues for damage.

‘A troubled schoolgirl who filmed herself as she tried to strangle her mother and then stab her father was today cleared of attempted murder. [..]

The girl was remanded to a secure psychiatric unit for teenagers until her sentence. [..]

It was following an argument with her father last February that the girl, then 15, came into the living room from her bedroom at the family’s home.

She had with her a video recorder which she set up on the arm of a chair so that it was trained on her mum who was sitting at a computer.

The girl, described as highly intelligent and theatrical, with a keen interest in film making, drama and writing, had dressed herself especially for the occasion.

She was wearing a seductive strappy silk nightdress for what the prosecution was to describe in court as “the performance of her life.”

She had brushed out her long brown hair and applied make up to make herself look glamorous film star.’

‘Drugs and guns don’t mix as a 51-year-old Langley man found out the hard way.

The local man, who was known to police, is dead after accidentally shooting himself in the head while mishandling an Uzi-type gun at a well-known drug house on Thursday morning.

Around 2:10 a.m., Langley RCMP were called to 20217 82 Ave. in Willoughby.

The 51-year-old victim is a resident of the home along with a 33-year-old man and 56-year-old Langley woman. Police say the three had been using drugs and handling a pistol similar to an Uzi. The weapon is illegal in Canada.’

What happens when you pretend to be a paraplegic and get people to help push you across the road?

What happens if you fall out of the chair mid way and make them carry you the rest of the way across the road?

And then what happens if you stand up and start walking once you get to the other side?

People get mad, is what. 🙂

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What it says. [shrug] 🙂

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‘Heavy cannabis users may be at greater risk of chronic lung disease – including cancer – compared to tobacco smokers, two studies suggest.

One study found a higher risk of lung cancer for those who smoked one joint a day compared with those who smoked 20 cigarettes a day over the same period.

Another found bullous disease – a form of emphysema – occurs 20 years earlier in cannabis smokers.

The studies appear in Respirology and the European Respiratory Journal.’

‘Infants and toddlers exposed to baby lotions, shampoos and powders carry high concentrations of hormone-altering chemicals in their bodies that might have reproductive effects, according to a new scientific study of babies born in Los Angeles and two other U.S. cities.

The research, to be published today in the medical journal Pediatrics, found that as the use of baby care products rose, so did the concentration of phthalates, which are used in many fragrances.

The lead scientist in the study, Dr. Sheela Sathyanarayana of the University of Washington’s Department of Pediatrics, said the findings suggested that many baby care products contain a variety of phthalates that enter children’s bodies through their skin.’

‘Tucson porn-proprietor Tyrone Henry wants you to know that blowing your load on the faces of blindfolded, underage girls who think they’re participating in a facial cream marketing study is not fraud or any other crime, no matter what the Arizona Court of Appeals said last month. He also wants you to know he was framed. [..]

In the summer of 2000, Roach was assigned to prosecute Tyrone Henry after two teenage girls said he lured them to his home to try out a product called “White Dew” facial cream he was developing. Instead of exfoliation, they said they got ejaculation.

The girls, 15 and 16 years old at the time, said Henry showed them examples of women with “clumpy” white cream on their faces and then blindfolded them. The girls said they heard heavy breathing and Henry say, “It’s coming,” and then felt a thick, warm substance applied to their faces. They said he took photos, paid them $10 a piece and convinced them to make follow-up appointments. Thinking about it later, they realized they’d been hoodwinked and called the police.

Roach admits the hardest part of the case was figuring out what charge he could hang on Henry. It wasn’t sexual assault because he didn’t touch the girls sexually, and they didn’t touch him. And it wasn’t indecent exposure because the girls were blindfolded. [..]

In the end, the only charge Roach could get to stick was “fraudulent scheme and artifice.” [..]’

‘Britons are losing their grip on reality, according to a poll out Monday which showed that nearly a quarter think Winston Churchill was a myth while the majority reckon Sherlock Holmes was real.

The survey found that 47 percent thought the 12th century English king Richard the Lionheart was a myth.

And 23 percent thought World War II prime minister Churchill was made up. The same percentage thought Crimean War nurse Florence Nightingale did not actually exist. [..]

Meanwhile, 58 percent thought Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s fictional detective Holmes actually existed; 33 percent thought the same of W. E. Johns’ fictional pilot and adventurer Biggles.’

‘Hiding a needle in a haystack is easy enough.

But Robert Fidler kept something much bigger concealed among the piles of straw down on his farm… a castle.

Over the course of two years, he managed to secretly – and unlawfully – build the imposing mock Tudor structure in one of his fields, shielded behind a 40ft stack of hay bales covered by a huge tarpaulins.

Once it was finished, he and his family moved in and lived there for four years before finally revealing the development – complete with battlements and cannons – in August 2006.

Mr Fidler claims that because the building has been there for four years with no objections, it is no longer illegal.’

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‘Officials say two officers were shot in Gwinnett County Friday afternoon. One officer is accused of trying to assault a woman and then opening fire on another officer who tried to stop it.

Investigators from the Gwinnett, Fulton and Duluth Police Departments are all involved and looking into the circumstances around what appears to be a gun battle between two police officers. [..]

Sheldt came back around to see if he could help. “Her car window was busted out and she was screaming at the top of her lungs. She said she just needed help and that the gentleman tried to rape her,” said Sheldt. [..]

“This male we do now know and confirm he is a Duluth PD officer. At the time he was wearing civilian clothing. Other than that, we do not have any other information to give,” said Cpl. Illana Spellman with the Gwinnett County Police Department.’

‘The world’s most notorious BitTorrent tracking site, The Pirate Bay, won’t be going to Davy Jones’ Locker, even if its four operators are convicted of facilitating copyright infringement, one of the defendants said in an interview Friday with THREAT LEVEL.

Peter Sunde Kolmisoppi, one of the four Swedes charged in Sweden on Thursday, said in a telephone interview that the site has set up a clandestine, double-blind operation with its servers spread throughout the world — and out of reach of the Swedish authorities.

“The Pirate Bay is not in Sweden,” the 29-year-old Kolmisoppi said.

Where are the servers?

“It’s a distributed system. We don’t know where the servers are. We gave them to people we trust and they don’t know it’s The Pirate Bay,” Kolmisoppi said. “They then rent locations and space for them somewhere else. It could be three countries. It could be six countries. We don’t want to know because then you’ll have a problem shutting them down.”‘

‘The mayor of a small town in Texas has resigned after secretly keeping her neighbour’s Shih Tzu while pretending it had died.

Neighbours had asked Alice Mayor Grace Saenz-Lopez to look after the dog, Puddles, during a holiday. She called them to say it was dead.

But the dog, which Ms Saenz-Lopez had renamed Panchito, was later seen at a dog groomer’s and at her sister’s home.

A custody hearing on Monday is expected to decide who keeps the pet.’

‘The team appointed to oversee Ted Haggard’s “spiritual restoration” after scandal forced him to end his ministry at New Life Church has agreed to his request to end their oversite of his recovery program.

New Life Church issued a statement Tuesday saying it believes the termination of the relationship is premature, but would not say why. Earlier in the process, church leaders had said they assumed that Haggard’s recovery could take several years.

The Colorado Springs evangelical congregation that Haggard founded also said it remains convinced that he should not return to any church ministry.

A year ago, Haggard voluntarily entered into an arrangement with a team of “overseers” to guide what it called his “spiritual restoration” following a scandal that rocked the 14,000-member church community over Haggard’s admitted “sexual immorality.”

While Haggard never specified, a Denver man accused him of engaging in sex with him.’

Followup to Haggard says he is “completely heterosexual”.

‘I’m grandpa!’

Followup to Angry Grandpa Pissed About Dinner.

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‘Vasectomies could be a thing of the past thanks to a remotecontrolled implant that can stop the flow of sperm.

The valve-like device can be opened and shut at the press of a button, using the same technology that locks a car using a key fob.

Scientists who invented the implant say it could be used as a form of male contraception.

Men who change their minds about having children would then simply point the remote handset at their testicles and press a button to open up the valve. [..]

Once the handset is pressed, it sends a coded radio signal through the skin to the implant, which contains a tiny antenna. The antenna picks up the signal and converts it into sound waves that “ripple” through the valve.

Since the valve itself is soft and flexible, the sound waves make it flap open – allowing sperm to pass through. As with cars, each device would have its own unique code so it could not be opened by anyone else.’

‘A man told police that somebody has been dropping off animals for months at his home in western Port St. Lucie.

Stephen Reheiser said that since November, someone has been leaving animals at his house, according to a police report.

Some of the more recent orphans include five caged rabbits and a 5-year-old white dog.

Police classified the case as a suspicious incident.’

‘An overweight man who crushed his wife by sitting on her during an argument so severely that she later died has received a five-year jail sentence from a court in the central German city of Hildesheim.

The court found the 50-year-old bus driver, who weighed 128kg at the time of the incident, guilty of causing injury resulting in the death of his 46-year-old wife, who weighed 63kg.

In evidence the man acknowledged arguing with his wife but claimed he had fallen on her by mistake.

Expert evidence was heard that he must have sat on her for at least two minutes.’

aka. how to make yourself dizzy at work and lose no weight at all.

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‘A 21-year-old German man has been convicted of sending a photograph of his penis to an unknown woman via mobile phone, authorities said on Wednesday.

“We all had a bit of a laugh when we saw the thing,” said Christian Kropp, presiding judge at the court in the eastern town of Sondershausen.’

‘A decapitated body has been found wrapped in a blood-stained duvet in a back street in north-west London.

A member of the public made the gruesome find behind a row of shops at Kingsgate Place in Kilburn.

The semi-naked body had been left in a gold coloured cage similar to the type used by supermarkets to move stock.

A Metropolitan Police spokesman said the dead person is an adult male, but no head has been found and the victim has not been identified.’