‘A bidet company’s advertising plans in Times Square are too cheeky for the pastor of a nearby church.
Rev. Neil Rhodes, pastor of the interdenominational Times Square Church, is asking a state court to block a billboard company from posting huge ads that feature naked buttocks with smiley faces on them. The display is to go up on two sides of the Broadway building that houses Rhodes’ church, its Bible school and day-care center.
“You walk into a church building, you have naked bodies before your eyes, how are you going to close your eyes and seek God?” Rhodes told the New York Post in an article published Sunday.’
‘Just four per cent of US adults are virgins, but a fifth have tried hard drugs such as cocaine and crack, a new study shows.
What most alarms researchers is how young they start.
“We still have a public health problem in that we still see a lot of adults reporting their sexual debut at a pretty young age,” said Dr Kathryn Porter of the United States’ National Centre for Health Statistics, who led the survey of more than 6,000 people. [..]
Ninety-six per cent of US adults have engaged in some kind of sex – including oral and anal sex – by the age of 20, according to the study published today.’
‘One of the more unpleasant chores of field dressing now takes just seconds to accomplish using the innovative Butt-Out Tool. This tool is the fastest, easiest way to disconnect the anal alimentary canal from deer or similar-sized game. Immediately after harvesting game, insert the Butt-Out Tool into the anal canal and twist until it grabs the membrane. Continue twisting another half turn, then steadily pull the Butt-Out Tool out of the canal. Extract 10″ of membrane, tie the membrane off and cut. Its time-saving ease of use makes this the tool every deer hunter needs in his pack.’
Once again the Japanese are on the cutting edge of science related television.
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‘Surgery was performed on Sunday to remove a coconut from the body of a man who was sodomised with the fruit during an attack by a gang of men.
Ste Madeleine police are now investigating the case, in which the 27-year-old victim was found at the side of a canefield road at Golconda Village, near San Fernando.
Police were told that the man was seen drinking alcohol in the hours before he was found, and a group of men who picked him up are being sought.’
The driver explains the injury. It’s unfortunate. Unfortunately funny.
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Yesterday I posted something about the ugly logo they’ve come up with for the 2012 Olympics in London and mentioned how a goatse alternative logo got some air time. Well, here’s the video. 🙂
Followup to London unveils logo of 2012 Games.
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‘The logo for the 2012 Olympics and Paralympics has been unveiled in a star-studded ceremony in London.
The jagged emblem, based on the date 2012, comes in a series of shades of pink, blue, green and orange and will evolve in the run-up to the Games.
The word London and the Olympic rings are included in the first two digits of the new logo.
“This is the vision at the very heart of our brand,” said London 2012 organising committee chairman Seb Coe.’
The logo is pretty ugly. Someone submitted their own version of a logo which is hilarious and got a bit of exposure on the BBC’s website.
‘Brian Conant stood alongside his fellow National Guardsmen during a training session about eight years ago in Hawaii. He was wearing a heavy chemical warfare suit lined with charcoal.
“Any time I expelled gas in the suit, I realized nobody could smell it,” Conant, 48, says. “It was amazing.”
According to the American College of Gastroenterology, 58 million Americans suffer from one or more medical disorders that cause excessive gas. To treat it, doctors usually recommend a change in diet. Sometimes they recommend medication, such as Gas-X or Bean-O, which alters the bacteria that may be causing the foul odor. But with Conant’s invention, the Flatulence Deodorizer, also known as Flat-D, there is an alternative way to limit the embarrassment.
The long, narrow washable pad, lined thinly with charcoal, absorbs chemicals, including hydrogen sulfide, a byproduct of the bacteria that causes odorous gas. The pad, at $12.95, curves with the contour of the body, and one size fits most.’
‘There are shocking allegations against a Palm Bay city supervisor. A former employee said she was constantly flashing and using sexually explicit language in front of workers. He said, when he complained, he was fired and is now suing.
It’s unusual for a man to file a sexual harassment suit against a female. Usually, it’s the other way around. But the man who used to work with her said his boss was so vulgar and inappropriate, he had to take action
Boxes are filled with evidence backing Tom Rolfe’s sexual harassment case against the city of Palm Bay. He worked for the city as a meter reader for four years and said he was fired when he complained about his supervisor, Donna Elliot.
“She just dropped her pants, bent over and showed everybody everything,” Rolfe said.’
‘Want a custom sex doll, but don’t have $7,000 to shell out? No problem. You can build one with off-the-shelf parts for a fraction of the cost. Is this the ideal love doll or Bride of Frankenstein? We’ll let you be the judge.’
Seems you start with a mannequin. 🙂
‘Welcome to our side of the fence. The life of your average Tech Support person is one that is complex, fulfilling, and yet strangely sadomasichistic. Those that have escaped wonder why we ever turn up to work in the morning. Those that are still there know exactly what I’m talking about.
Here, you’ll find largely fictional, fake and phoney stories that just need to be told about the Tech Support business. Sure, it’s not as much of a downer as this intro makes it out to be, but that’s not the point. Sometimes, it’s just entertaining to think that it is this bad.’
‘This is a bold statement, but I think we can go so far as to say that this is the silliest, and doubtless the most tasteless piece of desk paraphernalia that we have encountered here at IWOOT. Two attributes of course that make showing it to you an absolute necessity. Introducing the Cat’s Arse Sharpener. Sigh. There are no words that readily spring to mind to soften the blow. It’s a cat, you stick your pencil in its derrière, it meows, and it sharpens your pencil. Your feline friend stands in his own litter tray that catches your pencil shavings. Of course not many people use pencils much these days, but this is perhaps the best reason there has ever been for going out and buying one right now.’
Current bid amount: $1e+12
That’s the mechanical jack-rabbit for the clit.
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‘Japan’s leading toilet maker Toto Ltd. is offering free repairs for 180,000 bidet toilets after wiring problems caused several to catch fire, the company said Monday.
The electric bidet accessory of Toto’s Z series caught fire in three separate incidents between March 2006 and March 2007, according to company spokeswoman Emi Tanaka.
“Fortunately, nobody was using the toilets when the fire broke out and there were no injuries,” Tanaka said. “The fire would have been just under your buttocks.”’
The trick is to punch it in the prostate.
(4.6meg Flash video)
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‘Doctor Who David Tennant loves having farting competitions in the Tardis.
The actor, 36, says that he takes on co-star John Barrowman who plays Captain Jack in trumping contests.
Speaking on tonight’s Graham Norton Show, he laughed: “We get very competitive about farting in the Tardis. Farting before performing is a kind of exorcism.
“John feels the same way. It’s our Glasgow heritage.”
However, David joked that Freema Agyeman, who plays new assistant Martha Jones when the sci-fi drama returns to BBC1 this Saturday, isn’t impressed.
David added: “Freema really didn’t like it, which spurred us on.”’
‘A pub regular has been barred from his favourite Dunfermline boozer – for indiscriminate wind breaking.
Management at the bar say Stewart Laidlaw “revels” in his bouts of flatulence and other punters have almost been sick after exposure to the foul smells.
Mr Laidlaw (35), who is furious at the ban by Thirsty Kirsty’s, is thought to be the first person in West Fife to be barred for breaking wind.
The James Street pub’s owner says the stench has become unbearable since Scotland’s smoking ban came in last year but suspects drinkers could have been breathing in the waft for years before without noticing it.’
‘A Sikkim Police constable guarding the Dena Bank treasury at Daryaganj in central Delhi went berserk early Sunday morning, killing five of his mates after they allegedly tried to sodomise him while on night duty.
The police received a call at 4.52 am from constable Nari Lepcha, one of the guards deployed at the treasury, that his five colleagues had been murdered. After racking their brains for almost 12 hours, the police realised that it was Lepcha himself who had brutally murdered all of them.
After hours of questioning, Lepcha admitted that he killed his fellow guards because they tried to sexually assault him after consuming alcohol. [..]’
‘An Iraqi national was detained and questioned at a passenger-screening area at Los Angeles International Airport on Tuesday morning after a suspicious item was found in the man’s rectum during a body cavity search.
The item, which is still being examined, poses no apparent threat, an FBI official said. [..]
Ethel McGuire, assistant special agent in charge of the Los Angeles FBI office, said this afternoon that al-Maliki had “a magnet, wires and I don’t know what the other item was. It’s being evaluated as we speak.” After al-Maliki was searched, the Los Angeles Police Department bomb squad was called to the airport to examine the suspicious item.’
‘Bay County Circuit Judge Joseph K. Sheeran ruled Friday that even though Michigan law does not explicitly define sex with a dead dog as a crime, charges against a Saginaw man will stand. [..]
Fehrman had said in previous written and oral arguments that a dead dog is not an animal and therefore cannot be violated against its will.
Sheeran said the purpose of the sodomy law is not to protect a specific victim, necessarily, but ”to prevent people from debasing and dehumanizing themselves.” Such laws also protect society, Sheeran said, and ”prevents people from acting like animals themselves.”’
‘A smelly “fart bomb” had postal staff and firefighters holding their breath today when it burst at a postal sorting centre on Auckland’s North Shore.
The fart bomb was a giveaway in an internet magazine, but when other postal items were placed on top of the magazines being posted out the sachet bomb burst and released its contents shortly after daybreak. [..]
Acting deputy chief fire officer for the North Shore, Mike McEnaney, said the bomb was harmless but smelly and staff had no choice when they called the fire service.’
Making art with enemas, by the looks of it.
