‘This guy left a room full of friends during the SuperBowl to get a breath of fresh air. His wife followed him onto the patio and quietly taped him on the patio. Not sure that air he was breathing was really that fresh.’
(1.2meg Windows media)
‘As a 13-year-old boy surrendered Tuesday on charges of assaulting a wrestling teammate by sticking a drumstick into his rectum, Nassau police said the boy insisted it was a prank that went too far. [..]
The boy, whose name wasn’t released because he is a juvenile, was described by peers as a prankster. He is scheduled to appear on the charges in Family Court in Westbury at a later day.
The alleged victim, also 13, was back at school Tuesday and seemed to be doing OK, schoolmates said. [..]
Before the attack, police said, the two boys were on good terms.’
‘US immigration officials insisted the sufferer of an anal infection remove a small piece of medical thread which was being used by doctors to treat the condition. The man required treatment under general anaesthetic as a result.
The man had an anal fistula, which is a painful channel that can develop deep into the anus, caused by infection or digestive conditions such as Crohn’s disease. [..]
The seton was made of a blue braided medical suture material knotted and passed into the hole where the fistula surfaced. After one baffled immigration officer pulled “very hard” on the seton, the patient was given the choice by the baffled immigration officers of either getting on the next plane home, or submitting himself to a procedure to have it removed. [..]
The seton was duly removed by an airport doctor, who claimed to have no idea what it was. The man now requires treatment under general anaesthetic to have a replacement inserted.’
‘A feuding neighbour was arrested for mowing his lawn in the NUDE, a court heard yesterday.
Yan Price, 30, exposed himself to shocked housewives two weeks after cops reprimanded him for sunbathing naked in his garden, it was claimed.
They saw him in the buff, apart from one glove, while bending to pick up dog muck.
A shocked young mum told York Crown Court: “I felt intimidated. You could see everything.‒
`Police are looking for suspects in the apparent sexual assault of a pit bull puppy in Newark.
The Associated Humane Societies of Newark was notified at 7 a.m. Tuesday by the Newark Police Department that a pit bull puppy had been sodomized by a local resident. An ambulance was dispatched to 321 Seth Boyden Terrace in Newark to rescue the injured animal.
“She was so cold to the touch, she’s in shock. She’s bleeding internally, and she couldn’t even get up,” Debbie Beyfuss of AHS told 1010 WINS. “We’re all sick over this.” ‘
‘Two things made Chistopher Willever’s drunken theft of a Tobacco Hut even worse as he crawled across the store floor _ a lousy belt and his camera-loving backside.
Omaha’s bare-bottom bandit was sentenced to three to five years in prison today for his March crime that earned him the fitting distinction.
Douglas County District Judge Thomas Otepka told the 22-year-old Willever — quote — “You were an ass in every true sense of the word in this crime.”
Willever’s public defender says Willever was tired of being poor so he drank a fifth of rum and decided to rob the store. ‘
These people are selling a monowheel for ~$4000US.
Unfortunately, it looks remarkably like the monowheel Mr Garrison invented in South Park. I think South Park has ruined monowheels forever, because now they just look like buggery machines.
`Assuming you find the idea of some errant myspace numbnut faced with a gaping ass entertaining, then you will become first giggly, and then fall aside laughing to know that within an hour I had “goatse’d” 400 people.
Within two days it was 25,000. Twenty five thousand.
We are now up to nearly a hundred thousand viewings of this file in its new ass-o-rama version. I am sure that through libraries, schools, colleges, cubicles, offices, warehouses, the sound of someone’s throat reflexively making a sound not unlike “Uuuuaaaaaghhhghh” has filled the air. The amount of time lost in horrified stares and frantic jabs at the keyboard and mouse to get away, far away must be into the realm of hours by now. Maybe days! Days of slack-jawed horrified faces staring into a big square eyeball. I don’t know, that gets a chortle out of me. I’m easily entertained.’
A working mirror seems to be back online. Hooray for goatse. 🙂
The making of goatse image series is worth a chuckle too.
Update: the mirror has gone down again. In the meantime, there’s this:
.. and sticking his finger up his arse whilst he’s doing it, by the looks of things.
I like how he starts to scream about it burning as soon as it’s lit. 🙂
`A masked man shot a taxi driver in the bottom as he was walking home from work in Sydney’s east.
The driver, aged in his early 50s, was walking home along Avoca Road in Randwick at 2.45am (AEDT) when a balaclava-clad man pulled up beside him, police said.
Threatening the driver with a rifle, the masked man demanded money, firing several shots before fleeing the scene in a green Toyota Hi-Ace.
The driver called a friend and was taken to hospital with bullet wounds to his bottom. He is in a stable condition.’
Revi persees: Rip your ass open
Haista vittu: Fuck you (lit. Smell the cunt)
Pyöriä kuin puolukka pillussa: Roll like cowberry in a pussy
Kolmannen asteen turbomuna: Turbodick of a third degree
Nännipihan talonmies: Nippleyard’s janitor
Heitä homo voltti!: Screw you, faggot! (lit. do a somersault, fag)
Katiska: Fish trap (Used to describe an ugly person)
Revin perseesi irti ja syötän sen sinulle: I’ll rip your ass off and feed it to you.
Voi, Vitunlihakeitto!: Oh, soup-made-out-of-the-flesh-of-cunt!
Paras osa sinusta valui lihavan äitisi sisäreittä pitkin: The best part of you ran down your fat mother’s inner thigh
`In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil [..]’
Armageddon!
(570kb mp3)
Michael Crowley was the critic, and here’s a short section of Michael Crichton’s latest book:
‘Alex Burnet was in the middle of the most difficult trial of her career, a rape case involving the sexual assault of a two-year-old boy in Malibu. The defendant, thirty-year-old Mick Crowley, was a Washington-based political columnist who was visiting his sister-in-law when he experienced an overwhelming urge to have anal sex with her young son, still in diapers. Crowley was a wealthy, spoiled Yale graduate and heir to a pharmaceutical fortune. …
It turned out Crowley’s taste in love objects was well known in Washington, but [his lawyer]–as was his custom–tried the case vigorously in the press months before the trial, repeatedly characterizing Alex and the child’s mother as “fantasizing feminist fundamentalists” who had made up the whole thing from “their sick, twisted imaginations.” This, despite a well-documented hospital examination of the child. (Crowley’s penis was small, but he had still caused significant tears to the toddler’s rectum.)’
`The CALM-COW® is a device for immobilization and anesthetization of cattle. The CALM-COW® is not an electroshock device. Weak electromagnetic waves are generated, whereby the animal is gently and safely immobilized – without harming the animal and without side effects. Watch our video to see for yourself. [..]
As soon as the rectal probe is removed, the animal returns to normal. ‘
The video is probably NSFW, the rest is fine.
(3.7meg Windows media)
`A naked man arrested for indecent exposure in California was held at gunpoint – on suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon.
At this point, you might be wondering exactly where a naked man might conceal a weapon. We can confirm that the most wince-inducing possibility you’re thinking of is the correct one.
He had a screwdriver hidden in his anus. [..]
Understandably, the police were a unsure what to do about this situation. So naturally, they called the fire brigade.’
‘Actor and Rocky icon Sylvester Stallone thinks Richard Gere is still frosted at him for starting that whole crazy gerbil-hospital emergency room urban legend about Gere.
AintItCoolNews.com reporter/editor Harry Knowles broke the story that Gere harbors ill feelings because he allegedly believes it was Sylvester who started that ridiculous legend about Gere and the gerbil.
Allegedly the bad blood between the two actors became so intense that Gere got kicked off the film “The Lords of Flatbush.” “To this day [he] seriously dislikes me,” says Sly, who adds, for the record, that he did not start the rodent rumor. Gere’s rep had no comment.’
`We have new information on the rape charges against a former Parker High School student. Seventeen-year-old Jerome Hunt faces 21 counts of rape and attempted rape. Each count carries up to 25 years in prison.
But Hunt’s lawyer Mike Butler claims the complaints came from fellow Parker wrestlers who were simply victims of a legitimate wrestling move. [..]
Hunt told investigators the accusations probably come from a wrestling move called a “butt drag” or “skinning,” which involves the wrestler placing pressure on the area of the rectum.
Hunt’s former assistant coach told investigators, “It’s not something illegal or not taught. It’s being taught all over.”‘
`A Detroit-area man convicted of sodomizing a dog plans to appeal a ruling that he register as a sex offender after leaving prison.
Delbert John Holliday was sentenced yesterday to three and a half to 15 years in prison. The 35-year-old Eastpointe man pleaded guilty to sodomy and animal torture for an August incident with a pit bull at his brother’s house.
A Macomb County judge ordered Holliday to register with the state’s sex offender registry, though state law currently doesn’t specifically whether animal sodomizers should be on the list.’
Here’s a couple of clips from a banned Mythbusters episode, busting the myth that pretty girls don’t fart and then setting farts on fire.
I came across this on a torrent search engine. A 699meg video (apparently) file called Anus Magillicutty.avi. That’s all the information available on the file, and there’s no clue at all to what it might actually be a video of.
I don’t know what it is, and I don’t really want to spend time downloading it to find out. So, it’s going to have to remain a mystery for now.
The Mystery of Anus Magillicutty, I call it. What could it be?
I’m guessing it’s either a full length movie about Mr Magillicutty who’s having sphincter troubles, or it’s a very short, very high resolution video of an anus.
Possibly involving an endoscope.
If anyone has bandwidth to spare, why don’t you download it and let me know what’s inside? 🙂
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