‘A word to burglars: Don’t break into a building full of police officers undergoing training.
Two men learned the hard way in Antioch and ended up being arrested, police said today. [..]
They had no idea that the Antioch police K-9 unit was due for a training session at the building, which once housed a cardboard-processing plant.
And at first, the police had no idea that the burglary suspects were inside.
As part of the training, an officer hid inside the 40,000-square-foot building. A K-9 officer then called out that a dog was about to be released and that anyone inside should immediately give up or risk getting bitten.
That’s when Ayers surrendered, police said.’
‘If you’re taking a fat-blocking medication for weight loss, you’ve probably experienced “treatment effects” – flatulence, oily anal discharge, bowel urgency, and liquid stools that are difficult to control. [..]
You shouldn’t have to compromise your freedom in order to lose weight. You shouldn’t have to worry about where the nearest lavatory is, or whether the dark spots will show through your pants if you lose control and soil yourself. You shouldn’t have to stifle a laugh or a sneeze for fear of anal incontinence.
You deserve a better backup plan than the extra change of clothes in your car. Now there’s a simple and effective solution that can allow you to use weight-loss fat blockers while giving you a sense of security and confidence, knowing that you’ll be in control.’
Followup to alli: Miracle diet pill with teeny-tiny side effect and Diet Drug: Lose Weight, Possibly Soil Self.
‘Everybody do stupid things sometimes when they’re drunk, ok?’
(6.8meg Flash video)
see it here »
‘Some residents in Seattle are calling their new transit system by its acronym: SLUT.
Officially, the system is called the Seattle Streetcar but many people claim it was originally named the South Lake Union Trolley.
The $50 million rail system connects South Lake Union to downtown Seattle.
People working in the trolley’s neighborhood came up with the name SLUT.
The coffee shop Kapow Coffee even sells commemorative T-shirts that read, “Ride the SLUT.”‘
A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course. The husband cringed, “I warned you to be careful! Now we’ll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize, and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us.”
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, “Come on in.” When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window.
A large black man reclining on the couch asked, “Are you the people that broke my window?”
“Uh..yeah, sir. We’re sure sorry about that,” the husband replied.
“Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I’m a genie, and I’ve been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you’ve released me, I’m allowed to grant three wishes. I’ll give you each one wish, but if you don’t mind, I’ll keep the last one for myself.”
see it here »
‘Uh, I don’t know, Um, I don’t know what to say. I don’t know. (pauses) I didn’t know anybody was there. Howdy.’
‘Toilet paper dust caused a Southwest Airlines flight to make an unexpected landing in New Orleans on Friday. According to spokeswoman Mary Lee, a passenger noticed the white substance in the bathroom of a flight from Tampa to Las Vegas.
The pilot thought the threat was enough to land the plane as soon as possible; New Orleans’ Armstrong International Airport happened to be closest.
All passengers were taken off the plane, and inspectors determined that the substance was just dust from toilet paper. ‘
Why is there a box in the corner? 🙂
(1.1meg Flash video)
see it here »
‘When tourists ask for the bathroom in the Minneapolis airport lately, it’s usually not because they have to go.
It’s because they want to see the stall made famous by U.S. Sen. Larry Craig’s arrest in a sex sting.
”It’s become a tourist attraction,” said Karen Evans of the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport. ”People are taking pictures.”
Craig was arrested June 11. The Idaho Republican pleaded guilty to misdemeanor disorderly conduct. He has since said his plea was a mistake. His request to withdraw the guilty plea will be heard Sept. 26, four days before he has said he will step down.’
‘An Albanian fishmonger set fire to his van in a burst of anger after the national soccer team lost to the visiting Dutch side, and firefighters failed to extinguish the blaze because someone had stolen their water.
Vilson Alushi had vowed to burn his fish-delivery van if Albania failed to win against the Netherlands on Wednesday. Dutch striker Ruud van Nistelrooy scored a goal in injury time to end the game 1-0.
Alushi duly doused his car with gasoline in the center of the southern town of Delvine and watched indifferently as his friends alerted the firefighters, newspapers reported.
They arrived promptly on the scene and unreeled the hose, only to find it was dry. It seems that residents living near the fire station had drained the tank to help them cope with Albania’s chronic water shortage.’
‘Your friends’ll promise not to tell
So just open up and yell,
Lemon Party!’
(2.4meg Flash video)
see it here »
‘Internet auction website eBay today withdrew an unusual second-hand sale item, the country of Belgium, which had attracted an offer of 10 million euros ($A16.68 million).
“Belgium, a kingdom in three parts” was posted on the Belgian eBay site as offering “plenty of choice” despite the caveat that it comes with “300 billion of National Debt”.
Offered in three parts – Flanders, Brussels and Wallonia – the accompanying blurb said the kingdom “can be bought as a whole (not recommended)”.
The vendor also included as added extras “the king and his court (costs not included)”.
EBay spokesman Peter Burin said the site could not host the sale of anything virtual or “unrealistic”, the Belga news agency reported.’
‘Hackers are taking credit for at least three breaches at anti-piracy firm MediaDefender. The newly revealed attacks threaten to turn what started as an embarrassing e-mail leak into a full-blown security meltdown for the company.
The revelations began Saturday, when more than 6,000 internal company e-mails were exposed in a 700-megabyte BitTorrent download. A note from the hackers that accompanied the download points to a MediaDefender employee’s personal Gmail account as the source of the purloined mail, which covered six months of internal correspondence.
At least two more MediaDefender hacks have emerged since Saturday. In one, hackers obtained a copy of an internal company database identifying some of the decoy files the company has slipped onto peer-to-peer networks. In the other, intruders released a digital recording of a private phone call that appears to be a discussion between MediaDefender personnel and staff at the New York attorney general’s office.’
‘A Bosnian couple are getting divorced after finding out they had been secretly chatting each other up online under fake names.
Sana Klaric, 27, and husband Adnan, 32, from Zenica, poured out their hearts to each other over their marriage troubles, and both felt they had found their real soul mate.
The couple met on an online chat forum while he was at work and she in an internet cafe, and started chatting under the names Sweetie and Prince of Joy.
They eventually decided to meet up – but there was no happy ending when they realised what had happened. [..]
“To be honest I still find it hard to believe that the person, Sweetie, who wrote such wonderful things to me on the internet, is actually the same woman I married and who has not said a nice word to me for years.”‘
‘A woman who crashed her vehicle into five cars in three separate accidents says she didn’t stop because she was rushing her pot-bellied pit to the veterinarian.
Deborah Angiolillo left a trail of smashed cars and trucks across Palm Coast Wednesday afternoon. She first struck a vehicle in a parking lot. Deputies say Angiolillo left that scene and drove to the intersection of Cypress Point Parkway and Palm Coast Parkway where she hit the back of an SUV. Reports show she shifted into reverse, hit yet another car, and drove away.
She ended up at a second intersection where deputies say she hit a pick-up truck, which hit the car in front of it. The impact of that wreck threw Angiolillo’s car into another car’s path. [..]
Angiolillo was taken to the hospital but first told deputies that her pot-bellied pig was dying and needed emergency care. Deputies searched the scene but didn’t find a pig. Angiolillo was taken into custody under Florida’s Baker Act which allows law enforcement to hold people for psychiatric evaluations.’
‘OJ Simpson faces multiple charges including armed robbery and assault with a deadly weapon in connection with the alleged theft of items of sports memorabilia from a Las Vegas casino hotel room, police said.
The former American football star, who was sensationally acquitted in one of the biggest murder trials in US history, was arrested on at least six counts in relation to the reported robbery on Thursday.
They include two counts of robbery with a deadly weapon, two counts of assault with a deadly weapon, conspiracy to commit robbery and burglary with a deadly weapon, Las Vegas police announced at a news conference.
All the counts are felonies and carry potentially lengthy sentences.’
‘An Orlando police officer has been ticketed for slamming his patrol car into a house and then driving away.
The impact knocked the air conditioning unit off the house and broke the fence at the home on Summerlin Avenue. The Florida Highway Patrol said since no one was hurt in the Friday crash, troopers could only ticket officer Sam Cunningham.
He was cited for careless driving and leaving the scene of an accident.’
‘A school in northern France was evacuated yesterday after a nine-year-old girl took a World War II handgrenade to show to the class.
Her teacher had asked students to bring an unusual object to school, according to deputy police chief Vincent Roberti.
The girl obliged, pulling a grenade her brother had found out of her bag.
The teacher “immediately reacted, putting the weapon in a plastic bag, taking it to the courtyard and warning the school principal,” Mr Roberti said.
Police, firefighters and bomb-disposal experts arrived on the scene while the 191-student school was evacuated.’
‘A 3-year-old quietly escaped his West View house through a newly installed doggy door at about 4:30 a.m. Tuesday.
The parents said they woke up to find their child and their pet boxer on the sidewalk of their Cornell Street home.
Authorities said the boxer decided to go for an early morning stroll, and the inquisitive child decided to tag along.
Police said the toddler followed the dog out of the doggie hole to the back yard and then around to the front of the home where a passerby noticed and called police.
Police said they awakened the child’s parents, who were sound asleep.’
‘Apparently this guy has a tendency to drink a lot then pass out while taking a dump. His roommates decide to tape his latest endeavor.’
(3.3meg Flash video)
see it here »
‘A batch of laptops pre-installed with Windows Vista Home Premium was found to have been infected with a 13-year-old boot sector virus.
Those of you with a long memory will vividly recall the year 1994: Nirvana’s lead singer Kurt Cobain died, South Africa held its first multi-racial elections, and Tony Blair became leader of the Labour party. Oh, and Microsoft’s operating system was the quaint, pre-NT Windows for Workgroups.
But it was a year that also saw the arrival of a boot sector computer virus known as Stoned.Angelina which moved the original master boot record to cylinder 0, head 0, sector 9.
It would appear that this teenage virus has not yet been consigned to the history books.
According to Virus Bulletin, the consignment of infected Medion laptops – which could number anything up to 100,000 shipments – had been sold in Danish and German branches of retail giant Aldi.’
‘Jon Stewart recaps the “hard-hitting” questions General Petraeus had to endure during Tuesday’s Senate testimony, and highlights the furthest-right Senator on the Foreign Relations Committee. Hint: He’s from Connecticut and his name is not Chris Dodd.’
(15meg Windows media)
‘Australian comedians from the tv show “The Chasers War on Everthing” make a mockery of APEC security when they are able to drive right through all the checkpoints and get Osama to George W Bush’s Hotel using a fake Canada motorcade.’
(10.6meg Flash video)
see it here »
‘Wayne and Kathie Boniface returned home from dinner Thursday night at a neighbor’s to find the man in their house. Wayne Boniface said the man made the mistake of grabbing his wife.
“As soon as he grabbed my wife, I had him in the kitchen wrestling him to the ground in a headlock and arm-lock,” Boniface said.
First, Boniface said, he ripped the man’s shirt off. Then, “his head was down over the railing, and in today’s world, pants are worn fairly loose. I pulled his pants, and his pants and underpants and shoes came completely off. He was completely nude.”
When police asked Boniface if he could identify the suspect, he said: “Oh, yeah. I believe he’s the only guy running nude in Duluth.”‘
‘This guy tries to demonstrate to his class that he trusts them and if he falls backward they will catch him. Apparently, physics isnt this guys field of expertise as the little kids didnt stand a chance.’
(367kB Flash video)
see it here »
‘A blind judo expert astounded a mugger by pinning him to the ground after he tried to steal his cigarettes, police said on Monday.
The assailant, a 17-year-old man of Asian origin, spotted the 33-year-old, who police identified only as Emil E., at a train station in the southwestern town of Giessen and thought he would be easy prey, police spokesman Rolf Wellershausen said.
But what the attacker did not know, the spokesman said, was that his victim was a world-class blind judo wrestler.
The 17-year-old threatened the blind man, then punched him in the face, at which point the martial artist flipped him and held him down until police arrived.’
It’s kinda cruel I think, but amusing none the less.
(22.1meg Flash video)
see it here »
