‘According to several sources backstage at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards — and a report published late Sunday night by The Associated Press — West lost it again, this time because his performance of “Stronger” took place in the Palms’ Hugh Hefner Sky Villa and not on the main stage [..]
“Kanye was watching the closing performance [a medley featuring Justin Timberlake, Timbaland and Nelly Furtado] on a closed-circuit monitor, and he started getting upset,” a source who was backstage told MTV News. “He started asking anyone who’d listen why he wasn’t allowed to perform on the main stage. ‘Why did I perform in just a suite?’ he was saying. ‘Justin’s my boy, but even he gets to perform in both a suite and on the main stage? Something’s wrong here.’ “‘
(1.5meg Flash video)
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‘A police operation to covertly follow a Central Otago man came to an abrupt halt this week when the man found tracking devices planted in his car, ripped them out and listed them for sale on Trade Me. [..]
Williams said a cellphone sim card in one of the devices appeared to transmit messages to the mobile phone of Detective Sergeant Derek Shaw, of the Central Otago CIB.
Williams provided The Press with emails from Shaw saying: “If you have got something of ours it would be good to get it back. You can call me and I can come meet you.” [..]
Williams said he did not know why police were interested in him. He spent two years in jail “20 years ago” for selling marijuana to an undercover policeman, but had no convictions since then.
Williams said the devices were not hard to find and he described the operation as “a bumbling attempt” by “weirdos”.’
‘This adorably cute little baby switches from really happy to bawling in an instant.’
(2.0meg Flash video)
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‘Eighties television icon MacGyver has beaten Indiana Jones, James Bond and Jack Bauer as the fictional hero most Americans would want by their side in the event of a disaster.
In the survey, commissioned by the McCormick Tribune Foundation, participants were given a choice among seven fictional heroes for help in an emergency.
Twenty seven per cent of respondents said they would want MacGyver to help them out should disaster strike.’
‘A drunken schoolgirl kicked a New Zealand man in the testicles for pronouncing her name wrong, a court was told today.
Megan Jane Conroy from Sandstone Point north of Brisbane, sobbed in the dock in the Brisbane District Court today as she pleaded guilty to assault.
The court was told she arrived home early on May 13 last year to find the complainant and a group of her mother’s friends celebrating a birthday.
Conroy, then aged 17, asked the 40-year-man if he was “a Kiwi”, and told him to “get fucked” when he said yes.
She was then offended when he pronounced her name “Maegan” instead of “Megan” and kneed him in the groin and demanded he say it correctly.’
‘A double-decker is driven through London’s streets yesterday — carrying an obscene jibe about Mayor Ken Livingstone on its roof.
Office staff roared with laugher on reading “Livingstone is a cunt!” in 3ft-high letters.
Vandals’ cruel handiwork went unseen at Wood Green bus depot as it was not visible at street level.
Matt Arney, 26, took the snap near the Thames Embankment.
He said: “Everyone dashed to the window. It was hilarious.”‘
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‘Meet Carlton Davis. The Minnesota man, 26, is facing felony charges for allegedly stealing a cell phone and purse from a woman he mugged on a St. Paul street early Saturday morning. According to police, after the woman turned over her belongings, Davis announced, “Now I’m going to suck your feet.” Which he did, after the 24-year-old victim removed her shoes. Davis, who fled when passerby approached, was apprehended by cops a few blocks from the crime scene. He was booked into the Ramsey County lockup, where the below mug shot was snapped.’
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‘The kid who got superman tackled off the dock gets hiss revenge by putting on a mascot mask and scaring the crap out of his fishing friend.’
Includes the original dock tackle video.
(1.6 and 1.2meg Flash videos)
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The corner is a little bit too tight, and the house is a little bit too close. 🙂
(5.0meg Flash video)
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‘Bungling burglar Peter Addison was nabbed by police – because he scrawled “Peter Addison was here” at the scene of his crime.
The 18-year old wrote his name in black marker pen on a wall as he and pals raided a campsite and went on a boozy wrecking spree.
Police who arrived to investigate the incident were stunned to find Addison’s calling card plus other messages saying: “Thanks for the Stay” at the Toc H Campsite for under privileged children in Adlington, near Macclesfield, Cheshire.
They checked his details on a computer system and when they caught up with him, he was found to be wearing a T shirt stolen from campsite during the burglary.’
‘Computers inside pharmaceutical giant Pfizer’s network are spamming the internet with e-mails touting the company’s flagship erectile-enhancement drug Viagra, along with ads for knockoff Rolexes and shady junk stocks.
But the e-mails are not part of Pfizer’s official marketing efforts.
Pfizer’s computers appear to have been infected with malware that has transformed them into zombie computers sending spam at the behest of a hacker. Oddly enough, they are spamming the public’s inboxes with ads for the company’s own product.
“There is a disaster inside this company, and they don’t know it,” says Rick Wesson, CEO of Support Intelligence — a small San Francisco-based security company that alerted Wired News to the problem.’
‘Authorities don’t know who crushed a police cruiser, but they say whoever did it was pretty good with a backhoe.
Miami Township Police Detective Nick Colliver says the person had to have experience operating heavy equipment to drive the backhoe about 200 yards to where the cruiser was parked, then drop the bucket squarely on the roof.
Officials in the township east of Cincinnati had planned to sell the 1998 Ford Crown Victoria that was worth $3,000. It was parked near the Miami Township Civic Center when it got crushed one night last week.’
‘President Bush had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day at the Sydney Opera House.
He’d only reached the third sentence of Friday’s speech to business leaders, on the sidelines of the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation forum, when he committed his first gaffe.
“Thank you for being such a fine host for the OPEC summit,” Bush said to Australian Prime Minister John Howard.
Oops. That would be APEC, the annual meeting of leaders from 21 Pacific Rim nations, not OPEC, the cartel of 12 major oil producers. [..]
The president’s next goof went uncorrected — by him anyway. Talking about Howard’s visit to Iraq last year to thank his country’s soldiers serving there, Bush called them “Austrian troops.”‘
‘Murphy’s Law 198§44: the more complete a backup/recovery solution becomes, the less likely it is to ever be used.
With nearly half a century of experience using computers to run their business, Chris M’s company knew that law all too well. Ever since that fateful Wednesday — still known throughout the company as The Crash of ‘68 — they swore, Never Again. And forty years later, they’ve kept their promise.’
‘As Stephen A.’s client was walking him through their ASP.NET site, Stephen noticed a rather odd URL scheme. Instead of using the standard Query String — i.e., https://their.site/Products/?ID=2 — theirs used some form of URL-rewriting utilizing the “@” symbol in the request name: https://their.site/Products/@ID=2.aspx. Not being an expert on Search Engine Optimization, Stephan had just assumed it had something to do with that.
A few weeks later, when Stephan finally had a chance to take a look at the code, he noticed something rather different…’
‘A major part of Don Q’s job is to fly out to construction sites and setup their computer network. Weeks before doing this, Don meets with the project manager to make sure that every one knows what needs to be done and how to do it. It’s up to the project manager to make sure that the workstations, server, cabling, power, etc. are all in place before Don arrives, and Don makes sure to give concise but not insultingly-simple instructions on how to accomplish that. One of these tasks is simply: install the server in a secure and well-ventilated location.’
A short comedy routine from someone who appears to have worked in a prison at some point.
‘In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from North Western University.
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Mbembe approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant’s foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Mbembe worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.
The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Mbembe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day. [..]’
‘Sydney’s brothels are preparing for a business boom as thousands of delegates and journalists descend on the city for the APEC summit this week.
One well-known bordello is offering “The Presidential Platter” with a variety of pleasures, or a “United Nations” double with women from a range of countries, the news and gossip website Crikey reports.
A former tax office auditor turned legal brothel industry lobbyist, Chris Seage, wrote that Sydney’s brothels had been fielding phone calls from overseas for the past two weeks.
The most frequently asked questions revolved around how discreet a visit could be during APEC, he said.’
‘Funny spoof infomercials done by the people at Jewelry Television. Who knew the Jewelry TV people had such a good sense of humor?’
(2.8meg Flash video)
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‘It is a simple question: who leads this country? Any John, Dick or Kevin could answer it, but one citizenship teacher may be wishing she had refrained.
One student, Erez Sharabani, shot up his hand to answer “Mr John Howard”. But before he could get the words out, he says, the teacher wrote “dick” across the middle of the board. She rubbed it out, but not before the 12 students in her citizenship class at the NSW Adult Migrant English Service at Surry Hills saw it.
Calling the Prime Minister a four-letter word in a class funded by the federal Department of Immigration and Citizenship has not proved a great career move, sparking a complaint from Mr Sharabani and an investigation by the NSW Department of Education. The teacher, who has not been named, has been suspended on pay pending the outcome of the investigation.’
‘Two guys line up on opposite ends of a gym with large jousting poles in their hands and ride full speed at eachother. The one dude actually takes a pretty solid hit knocking him hard off his bike.’
(868kB Flash video)
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‘Fuck! You! Oh shit! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!’
(526kB Flash video)
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‘I was pottering along (thankfully not in the Skyline) the other day and following my sat-nav when it decided to direct me up a lane which was deemed “Not Suitable for Motor Vehicles” according to the road sign at it’s entrance. Thinking this may spruce up an otherwise uneventful journey, I took this to be a challange.
So, around 2 miles in to the lane, I was bobbing along at a steady 40 and couldn’t see what the bid deal was. Even the ex (although hardly the benchmark for intelligence and awareness) didn’t notice anything to be out of the norm. Until I had to slow down for a corner – and sank [..]’
A woman takes a lover during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9
year old son comes home unexpectedly so she puts him in the closet and
shuts the door. Her husband also comes home, so she puts her lover in the
closet with the little boy.
The little boy says, “Dark in here”
The man says, “Yes, it is.”
Boy: “I have a baseball”
Man: “That’s nice”
Boy: “Want to buy it?”
Man: “No, thanks.”
Boy: “My dad’s outside”
Man: “OK, how much?”
Boy: “$25.”
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in
the closet together.
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