‘Some years ago, I (GLS) was snooping around in the cabinets that housed the MIT AI Lab’s PDP-10, and noticed a little switch glued to the frame of one cabinet. It was obviously a homebrew job, added by one of the lab’s hardware hackers (no one knows who).
You don’t touch an unknown switch on a computer without knowing what it does, because you might crash the computer. The switch was labeled in a most unhelpful way. It had two positions, and scrawled in pencil on the metal switch body were the words ‘magic’ and ‘more magic’. The switch was in the ‘more magic’ position.
I called another hacker over to look at it. He had never seen the switch before either. Closer examination revealed that the switch had only one wire running to it! The other end of the wire did disappear into the maze of wires inside the computer, but it’s a basic fact of electricity that a switch can’t do anything unless there are two wires connected to it. This switch had a wire connected on one side and no wire on its other side.’
‘Most Harry Potter fanatics have read the new book by now so these spoilers should be old news. However by the looks on their faces it was not old news to these people waiting to buy the book on Friday night.’
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‘A habanero pepper rates at between 200-300k scoville units which means they are really friggin hot. This dude took a big bit of one and the heat from the pepper really kick his ass.’
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‘While trying to set a prank on his girlfriend this guy slips, hits his head and knocks himself out cold. Apparently his girlfriend found him 10 minutes later with a 3 inch gash on his head and had to rush him to the ER.’
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‘Hollywood actor Tom Cruise has been likened to hated Nazi Joseph Goebbels.
The German Protestant Church compared the star status Cruise gives to the Church of Scientology to the work of the Nazi propaganda minister.
Scientology is regarded as a cult in Germany and its activities are monitored.
Cruise – a high profile Scientologist – is in Berlin acting out the part of the so-called “good Nazi” von Stauffenberg in a new movie.’
‘I head back to the bathroom to start cleaning up, and the doorbell rings again. The dog starts barking and jumping on the back door, leaving bloody streaks in the process. Having already had enough of whoever is at the door, I decide to ignore it. The doorbell rings again. Fine. Anyone but Ed McMahon is going to be sorry.
Still out of breath from the fight, sweating, covered in scratches and blood and hair, and carrying a nail trimming tool in one hand, I fling open the door. The picture-perfect charismatic family has decided to let the little girl be the front man. She looks to be about eight years old. She’s standing on the front porch, while Mom, Dad, and Little Brother – about five – are standing a few feet back on the walkway. I grit my teeth in my best Dirty Harry impression, look directly at the little girl, and say, “Yes?”
The boy isn’t paying much attention, having found a stick with which to occupy himself, but the other three family members are frozen. The mom finally pulls the boy back against her leg, but they’re too far from the girl to reach her without stepping closer themselves. The girl is unable to move. The dad, showing his true colors, is also petrified. The mom finally gives him an elbow and he tries to find his voice. I continue to stare at the little girl. “Yes, can I help you?”‘
It’s funny because it’s true.
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‘If you ever wanted to be Nevada’s governor for a day, it doesn’t seem to be that hard.
In what could be a whopping security hole, Nevada has posted the password to the gubernatorial e-mail account on its official state Web site. It appears in a Microsoft Word file giving step-by-step instructions on how aides should send out the governor’s weekly e-mail updates, which has, as a second file shows, 13,105 subscribers.
The Outlook username is, by the way, “governor” and the password is “kennyc”. We should note at this point that the former Nevada governor, a Republican, is Kenny C. Guinn, which hardly says much about password security.’
‘Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Oh no!’
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‘Video-game publisher Take-Two Interactive has done it again.
The company, which has come under fire in the past for offensive content in its games, is now testing the taste barrier with its latest sports video game, All-Pro Football 2K8, which features O.J. Simpson, unquestionably America’s most infamous athlete.
A customized video clip on the Game Trailers Web site shows Simpson game highlights as his team, “The Assassins,” moves down the field. Toward the end of the clip, Simpson scores a touchdown, prompting a large hooded mascot above the scoreboard to make stabbing motions with a large knife.’
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This actually happened at the university I used to go to. Our lecturers would occasionally tell us stories about stupid experiments that don’t end well.
This was always my favourite. 🙂
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‘Debbie Hulleman’s pet dog Pepper likes to chew things. She’s gnawed on lipstick canisters, shampoo bottles, ball point pens, toothpaste, and now the list includes nearly $750 in cash — gobbled right down.
“This is probably the worst,” Ms. Hulleman said yesterday, recalling the nasty chore of recovering the money from vomit and — you guessed it — dog piles left in the yard. [..]
Pepper got into a purse belonging to a friend of her mother’s and chewed the cash from an envelope. [..]
“It wasn’t that bad. I soaked it and strained it and rinsed it. I just kept rinsing it and rinsing it. I had rubber gloves on of course,” she said. “Everyone said, ‘I can’t believe you did that.’ Well, for $400, yeah, I would do that.”‘
This fellow was challenged to draw 200 bad comics. These are them.
This is a bit of a followup to Random Acts Of Reality from the other day.
I’ve been reading blogs by emergency medical people all day, and they’re very interesting. Some of the stuff they do [and shit they put up with] is amazing.
Another story that I liked on a different site is called T’was the night before the night before Christmas.
I once did a massive belly flop that bruised my stomach on one of these things.
Apparently, that was also hilarious to watch. 🙂
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This model stacks it twice, and the anchor can’t stop laughing about it.
It’s an amusing kinda fall. 🙂
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‘The story is about a boy who lives in a cupboard (i.e. “in the closet”). His Aunt and Uncle are ashamed of him because his parents were quite eccentric (i.e. “flaming”) and they are deeply concerned and afraid that he will turn out just like them. On his 11th birthday (i.e. roughly at the onset of puberty), the boy discovers that he is actually a “wizard”, different in both style and substance from normal people, or “muggles” (i.e. “breeders”). The boy is groomed into his new existence by a large, hairy bear of a man who shows Harry a hidden underground community of “wizards” living right under the noses of the general population (i.e. the gay subculture). Harry’s first trip to this subculture involves traveling through “Diagon Alley”, a play on the word diagonally (i.e. not straight).’
Hooray for conviction, I s’pose. 🙂
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‘Welcome to Random Acts Of Reality, a Blog based in London, England, written by an E.M.T working for the London Ambulance Service. Also, number one search result for “Womble porn”. All names have be changed to protect the guilty. This Blog was previously known as “Why I Hate Humanity” but the antipsychotic medication seems to have kicked in.’
There’s also a book out, under Creative Commons license, that you can download for free. It’s called Blood, Sweat and Tea.
‘Predictably, I slid in with ease. She was a little tense at first, but with an Exxon Valdez size load spilled into her poop chute, she quickly loosened up and got into it. I liked it also; it had a different feel to it. Not as good as vaginal sex, a little grainy, kinda tight, but still very nice.
Before I knew it I was fucking her like the apocalypse was imminent, burying it to the hilt with impunity. After a few minutes I was ready to come. My urgency was expressed in my tempo, and I began really jackhammering her. As the excitement got the best of me, I pulled out too far and my dick came out of her ass. I kinda scrambled to grab my dick and put it back in so I could finish off inside of her, but before I could even get a hold of it and put it back in her ass, I heard a faint “psssst” sound and felt something wet and warm hit my crotch.’
‘A German bus driver threatened to throw a 20-year-old sales clerk off his bus in the southern town of Lindau because he said she was too sexy.
“Suddenly he stopped the bus,” the woman named Debora C told Bild newspaper.
“He opened the door and shouted at me ‘Your cleavage is distracting me every time I look into my mirror and I can’t concentrate on the traffic. If you don’t sit somewhere else, I’m going to have to throw you off the bus.””
‘Former AFL star Warwick Capper has turned his focus to politics and announced he will run for mayor of the Gold Coast.
Capper, who has recently worked as a Gold Coast “meter man” topping up parking meters on the Queensland tourist strip, said he would run as a mayoral candidate in the March 2008 Gold Coast City election. [..]
Among the 44-year-old’s election policies are the legalisation of prostitution and the introduction of a curfew on the coast’s licensed venues.
“I want to legalise prostitution, I think that would be a good thing,” Capper said.
“I also want to clean the Gold Coast up. [..]
Capper has his own domain name for his website – described as his “online crib” – although his name is spelt incorrectly.
The address is warrickcapper.com.’
This is both hilarious and embarrassing. The best of both worlds. 🙂
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This is a very strange prank. These guys look so confused. 🙂
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‘You may remember these two gentlemen, as we recently covered them in the run-up to the Transformers movie debut. Optimus Prime changed his name to honor his childhood hero, while Jason Burrows took the less drastic step of altering his middle name to Megatron. Now it seems that Optimus has had enough tomfoolery and wants to settle things once and for all:
Jason “Megatron” Burrows:
The mighty OPTIMUS PRIME is “OFFICIALLY” calling you out. If you are going to TAKE credit for bearing the name of my one true nemesis, then man up and take MEGATRON as your first and ONLY name. Otherwise, stop being a poser and come up with your OWN idea!
If you accept, we shall publically do battle to be recorded for the entire TRANSFANDOM!!!
“One shall stand, one shall fall!”‘
‘His power and influence is legendary in his native Melbourne but Eddie McGuire has found out that his name will not open the same doors in Sydney.
The former Nine Network chief executive got a rude awakening when he tried to jump the queue at a motor registry last week. [..]
McGuire’s final tactic was to turn up in person at 4.50pm – 10 minutes before the registry was due to close – go straight to the counter and demand to be served.
But that did not work either, prompting the furious multi-millionaire to demand to see a manager.
After a heated argument with RTA management, McGuire, 42, was told his only option was to take a numbered ticket and wait like everyone else.’
