moonbuggy

Ignorance or Apathy?

‘alright, i got a computer that used to be networked onto a server with classlinks in school or whatever., well i got it home thinking i could reformat the hard drive, yeah…no. they set up a password on the computer so when i go to the utility options or whatever, and it has a password as soon as it opens. and to let you know nothing boots. i tried installing XP but im almost 100% sure that that password is blockin the coputer from accessing it, bc when i go to install XP it says no mass storgae device found. So how do i over ride this password. i changed the RAM and switched out the hard drives, then i took out that little battery for 10 min or so..no luck, Somone please help me.’

During an infomercial for some car jumper leads the women doing the presenting decides to switch the jumper cable connections to the battery. Intentionally, for no good reason.

Silly. 🙂

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‘The world is in shock as news sinks in.

“It’s only a matter of time before your mom kills you and everyone you know.” said Dr. Paul Rathburg, a University professor who is the spokesman for the World Health Organization.

Contact with, or even being in the proximity of your mom is known to trigger acute merman syndrome, sleeping sweats, and a deadly soup of bacteria called gumbo that shoots out of your nostrils.

“We know that your mom needs little time to reach sufficient levels to kill,” Rathburg said.

Rathburg said the first victim was a young man who had a web design job, and worked for a well respected university. “He was perfectly fine when he went to work,” Rathburg said in a telephone interview.

“After about 15 minutes, he had a case of nasal face and collapsed on the floor. The autopsy clearly indicates he died from exposure to your mom,” said Rathburg, who would not disclose the man’s name or the precise place and time of his death for privacy reasons.’

Have you got a better idea?

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‘I’m not even laughing! You coulda been raped in the butt!’

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‘In my previous life as a fed agent I was often asked to assist with some “undercover” sting operations all over the Northeast US. One of the most memorable was a op in northern Maine. I was to play the brother-in-law of our source who’s co-worker had recently asked him if he knew of any good dealers of crack.

Long story short they brought me in to sell him crack. We met the “Client” as planned and you should have seen this kids eyes when I pulled out this giant bag of crack we had obtained from a previous bust. He looked like he was going to start crying, like he had just come to know Jesus or something… anyway he wanted to buy it all, every last gram of it, but he had only brought $150.00 bucks with him. I thought for a second and asked him if had his checkbook on him and he did. [..]’

‘A teenager reportedly ended up with a cabinet instead of a taxi because she asked directory inquiries for a “cab, innit”.

According to The Sun, the Londoner, 19, wanted a taxi to take her to Bristol airport, and first used the Cockney rhyming slang “Joe Baxi”.

When the operator told her she couldn’t find anyone by that name, the teen replied: “It ain’t a person, it’s a cab, innit.”

The operator then found the nearest cabinet shop, Displaysense, and put the girl through.

She then spoke to a bemused saleswoman and eventually demanded: “Look love, how hard is it? All I want is your cheapest cab, innit. I need it for 10am. How much is it?”

The sales adviser said it would be £180 and the girl gave her address and paid with a credit card. The next morning, an office cabinet was delivered to her South London home.’

‘One day they’re filming in this big park, and right in the middle of it is this big fountain.

Now each time they finish the scene Walken turns around and just stares and stares at this fountain.

Needless to say that everybody on the crew is kinda used to him doing weird shit all the time so nobody really pays attention to it.

Eventually they get the scene and they call lunch.

The crew marches off in one direction to go eat, but my friend is packing camera stuff away and watches as Walken walks the other way and starts dropping off his clothes as he beelines for the fountain.

He strips all the way down to his underwear, marches right into the water and sinks down to where his eyes are just over the waterline.

My friend realizes that he staring, stops himself, packs up and goes to eat.

A half hour later everyone comes back in from lunch and Greg sees that Walken is still in the water, still at about eye level, wandering around. [..]’

<Ich> I’ve discovered that people on IRC don’t get offended or riled up by racism
<Ich> nor politically incorrect jokes
<Ich> nor feminism, nazism,
<Ich> nor goatse, or even tubgirl
<Ich> not even jokes about 9/11 get a rise out of anybody
<Ich> but as soon as I tell somebody that macs are better than PC’s, things get ugly

‘As upsets go, it ranks alongside the most extraordinary results in sporting history. When the New York Mets, one of America’s most revered baseball teams, asked their fans to select a new theme song, they could never have predicted that the winner would be a has-been Lancastrian pop star.

But five million people had apparently voted on the Mets’ website for Rick Astley and his 1987 classic, Never Gonna Give You Up. Organisers were, to put it mildly, puzzled. [..]

It was only when internet blogs began buzzing with reports of the Astley success that organisers realised that they had been “rickrolled”.

The Mets, it emerged, had become the latest, and most high-profile, victim of a bizarre web phenomenon aimed at ensuring that Astley’s 1980s single, made by the bubblegum pop producers Stock, Aitken and Waterman, is played as often as possible.’

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‘As an avid reader of your column, I thought of you and only you for help with this problem. My grandmother, 78 and widowed, is a kind, generous woman who has seen her share of difficult times. She is a bit offbeat, but extremely conservative and religious. After my grandfather passed on, she purchased a lively little parakeet and named him Pretty Baby. Pretty Baby has provided wonderful companionship and entertainment for my grandmother, even learning to speak to her. Pretty is an amazing mimic, repeating phrases she has taught him: “I love you,” “lock the door!”, “give me kisses,” etc.

The problem is the kissing… or what I recently witnessed the kissing leads to. One evening Pretty began to squawk “give me kisses, give me kisses” and my grandmother walked over to the cage and slipped one finger between the bars. Pretty Baby proceeded to “kiss” her fingernail and flutter about. She purred, “Give Grandma lovin’, Pretty Baby, give Grandma lovin’.” She then turned to me and said, “Pretty Baby wants to give me lovin’ and he won’t quiet down until he does.” Pretty Baby proceeded to screech more and more loudly, as he humped my grandmother’s finger wildly. She also moved it back and forth for him. I was stunned and unsure of what was happening so I sat quietly in my chair looking in the opposite direction, hoping I wasn’t really witnessing what I thought I was. My grandmother cleared it up quickly, saying, “He’ll calm down after he climaxes,” smiling away and continuing to repeat, “Give me your lovin’, Pretty Baby, that’s it….” When Pretty Baby was finished, she looked back at me and said, “I better wash my hands!” I left minutes later, unable to process what had just happened. Grandmother, however, never flinched, acting like it was an everyday occurrence.’

‘Hundreds of police officers across South Australia caught using their work computers to illegally copy movie DVDs will escape prosecution.

The activity – strictly banned under federal copyright laws – was detected during an audit conducted by the information technology branch of SA Police.

Senior police, including Commissioner Mal Hyde, have been briefed on the extent of the problem.

An internal email to police management said the audit had “identified a number of instances where commercial DVD movies have been copied to the hard-drives of police computers which potentially had been burnt to blank DVDs”.

“This practice is potentially a breach of copyright and misuse of SAPOL equipment,” it said.’

‘Tom Cruise isn’t getting any giggles from a new strain of medical marijuana being marketed as “Tom Cruise Purple.”

Word is that the actor’s lawyers are taking a serious look at the strong brand of bud after we brought it to their attention.

One of Cruise’s friends found it “outrageous” that licensed cannabis clubs in Northern California are selling vials of pot featuring a picture of Cruise laughing hysterically. [..]

Staffers at several California clinics we called said they were forbidden to discuss any of the herbal varieties in their “inventory.”

But one weed devotee said, “I heard it’s the kind of pot that makes you hallucinate.”‘

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‘I suppose you were windsurfing. I’ve never seen anyone windsurf with a porch umbrella for a sail, boldly charging across the bay like a cross between Admiral Nelson and Mary Poppins. I was amazed — you didn’t just sail downwind, I swear I saw you tacking. You, sir, are my hero. I wanted to tell you so, but alas, I was on the shore. I had so many questions. No, I really only had one question (why?) but it seemed like a really, really good question. Every time I went back, I hoped to see you again, Umbrella Man, but alas, I have not seen you since. Should you happen to read this, could I trouble you for the story behind your brave voyage?’

‘On a frosty Canadian morning, a masked crusader tromps across a parking lot, over a snow bank and onto the sidewalk. He has a loudspeaker strapped ominously to his chest.

He halts, aiming the speaker toward the building across the street. “This is a song by some dead guy,” he says. And then, music booms forth:

“Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.” [..]

“It’s a bit spooky, innit?” said Rick Astley, the singer who made the song famous in 1987 and who is not dead. With considerable help, including assists from RCA Records, the webmaster of Astley’s U.K. fan site, and his manager at Sony BMG, I tracked down Astley at his home in London last weekend. He spoke for the first time about the phenomenon called Rickrolling, best described by example: You are reading your favorite Hollywood gossip blog and arrive at a link urging you to “Click here for exclusive video of Britney’s latest freakout!!” Click you do, but instead of Britney, it’s a dashing 21-year-old Briton that pops onto the screen. You, sir, have been Rickroll’d.’

Apparently Creative sound cards barely work in Windows vista, and Creative won’t make drivers for them.

“If we choose to develop and provide host-based processing features with certain sound cards and not others, that is a business decision that only we have the right to make.”

Some clever fellow has been writing his own drivers that have make the cards work as they should, but creative aren’t happy about it. Intellectual property and all that.

What follows is many forum pages worth of people telling Creative they’re stupid and claiming they’re never buying a Creative sound card again.

“My god, you guys got some balls on you, either that or you’r all bordeline mad.”

Hilarious. 🙂

‘Chicago Police say no one could make this story up…

18-year-old Ruben Zarate, entered a muffler shop in the 2600 block of North Laramie Avenue yesterday and declared a robbery. He allegedly waved a gun around and demanded money, according to police.

When he was told the money was in a safe and that the manager who knew how to open it was not there, the suspect had a brilliant idea; at least he thought it was brilliant.

He gave the shop employees his cell phone number and asked them to call him when the manager arrived so he could open the safe for him.

He left and the employees opted to call 911. Authorities stationed plain clothes officers in the shop and called the would-be robber back.

Zarate, showed up again, and waved his gun around again, but this time was shot in the leg by an officer.’

No gay potatoes!!!

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How many years in a decade? 🙂

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‘Marriage to a pokemon is nothing strange I feel, you an share love with them just as much as you can with a person.

However it would feel strange to me to marry my partner pokemon Houndoom, because it feels like we are of the same soul and same family, it would be like marrying my clone or something like that!

But i still love him very much <3'

Wey-hey and up she rises..

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Ever wondered what happens when you press the emergency stop or the fire button at a petrol station? 🙂

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‘Defacating into a sock in order to avoid having to get up from your computer to use the toilet. Often utilized when playing online role playing games.’

‘You were the mugger/robber at Awkatukee theatres two nights ago.

I was the man who robbed you in return.

Did you honestly expect me to just hand over my wallet to you?

I’m a foot taller than you.

Did you honestly expect me to be scared of your kitchen knife?

I love how you peed yourself when I opened my trunk and cocked a shotgun in your face.

Did you honestly expect me to let you call my girlfriend a whore?

I used the money from your wallet to buy her some New Years lingerie.’

‘You are bidding on very elusive and now discarded pieces of Hillary Clinton’s character. According to media reports and her own campaign’s statements, Mrs. Clinton has apparently decided to severe all ties with her class and dignity after her loss in the Iowa primary.

Lucky for us, we were able to find this highly sought after item stuffed in a garbage can at Des Moines International Airport. Apparently, it was discarded minutes before the Clinton camp’s private jet whisked her out of Iowa.

This is truly a one of a kind piece of political memorabilia, as it has barely seen the light of day and it’s mere existence has been the subject of much debate for years.

Along with the class and dignity, you will also receive an 8×10 photo(copy) of a timeless portrait of Hillary with some of her biggest donors and supporters, including but not limited to Mr. Insurance Company, Mr. Drug Company, along with Mr. and Mrs. Ceo of Wall Street.

Good Bidding…and free shipping, too!’

‘A German lorry driver escaped a rap for driving while using a mobile phone – after claiming he was using it as an ear warmer.

A court in Hamm accepted Walter Klein’s claims that he had been using the phone which was warm after being recharged to warm his ears.

It means he had not broken the law which says drivers can only make phone calls with a hands free set.

Klein, 43, told the court: “I had an earache and it was being made worse because the cab had not heated up yet – it takes a while on a big rig. [..]’

‘Police officers, secretaries and criminals were evacuated from a Russian police station after a granny walked in with a handbag filled with hand grenades.

Irene Fedorova, 67, walked into the station in the Orenburg Region in the Urals and said she wanted to take advantage of an arms amnesty.

She said she wanted to get rid of some old weapons that her late husband Boris had kept under their bed.

Officers who opened the bag found it contained several hand grenades including two that had faulty pins and could have gone off at any moment.

She said: “I read they were disposing of old weapons and thought it was a good idea. I bought them in on the bus in my handbag. I was sorry to have caused such a fuss – perhaps next time they should offer a collection service.”‘