moonbuggy

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‘A raw turnip was at the root of a bomb scare that last for hours at a law office. An employee at Haller & Colvin Attorneys at Law called 911 Thursday after opening a U.S. Postal Service box and finding a suspicious gift bag inside, police said.

Officers then called the city’s bomb unit, which brought in a robot to carry the package outside to a parking lot. X-rays showed no signs of an explosive, but bomb technicians decided to detonate the package with a water cannon just to be safe, police spokesman Michael Joyner said.

After that, they opened the box and found the turnip, wrapped in lettuce-green tissue paper inside a sandwich bag.

It was unclear who was supposed to receive the vegetable.’

‘Well, if I have to teach you how to be a reporter..’

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This fellow is in his car, bopping along with Queen. Bopping along a bit too enthusiastically. 🙂

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This kid launches a ball off his skateboard by putting it on one end and jumping on the other. Guess where it lands.. 🙂

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‘Oh, jeez!’

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‘Why dontcha come lick my tartar sauce off, bitch?’

This is the same fellow from Joe Rogan Vs Female Heckler

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I am not all that aware, it seems. 🙂

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‘Ride me sideways was another one..’

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‘The Church of Scientology tried to stop protesters from returning to the sidewalks outside its headquarters this week by filing a type of petition in court usually used by women in fear for their safety.

And in large part because of that approach, a Pinellas-Pasco circuit judge denied it late this afternoon.

In a petition filed Tuesday, the church claimed the Internet-based group Anonymous wants to harm the church and its leaders – in particular the Rev. Heber Jentzsch, the president of the Church of Scientology International. The church also claims Anonymous has tried to harm the church in the past.

The church’s court maneuver comes a month after about 180 members of Anonymous gathered outside Scientology’s headquarters Feb. 10 and conducted a peaceful protest. Members of the group vowed to return.

In court lingo, the church was asking for an injunction for protection against repeat violence, which is more typically filed by women who say they are being beaten.’

I’m free now!

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‘Most people believe that the U.S. is interested in Iran for the OIL or the DOMINATION of the Middle East or even the PELT of Ahmadinejad. WRONG. The real reason for attacking Iran is far more MYSTERIOUS and SHOCKING.

The REAL reason the U.S. government and George BUSH are plotting to invade Iran: MAGIC CARPETS.

Most people think that oil that is the real resource the U.S. is after in Iran, but that’s nothing but a falsehood, perpetrated by the CIA and the Pentagon to distract Americans and the world from the TRUTH.

Iran has the world’s largest STRATEGIC supply of MAGIC CARPETS–flying machines that give the otherwise modest Iranian army the ability to carry out QUICK and DEADLY air strikes in complete SILENCE.’

What a waste of two years. 🙂

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‘People who have been injured while walking and texting on their cell phones may be in luck.

A London street is experimenting with padded lampposts to protect those not paying attention from banging into them, ITN reports.

A study conducted by 118 118, a phone directory service, found that one in 10 people has been hurt while focusing on their cell phone instead of where they were walking, ITN reports.

The test lampposts will be given a trial run in London’s East End on Brick Lane. If the trial is successful it will be rolled out in Birmingham, Manchester and Liverpool.

The survey found that almost two thirds of respondents lost peripheral vision while texting, and more than a quarter wanted lines on the pavement to create routes for texters to walk while using their phones.’

People seem to insist on doing obviously stupid things. It’s grand. 🙂

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Garage doors do not aid balance.

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‘A Polish worker has come up with an unusual excuse after being caught in the act with a vacuum cleaner.

The building contractor claimed he was cleaning his underpants with Henry Hoover when he was found naked and on his knees in a hospital’s staff canteen.

A stunned security guard stumbled onto the man in the middle of a compromising act with the cleaner, which has a large smiley face painted on its front and a hose protruding from its “nose”. [..]

The security guard, suitably horrified, told the man to “clean himself and the hoover” before asking him to leave and informing his bosses.

When later questioned by his employers, the man said he was vacuuming his underpants, which was “a common practice in Poland”. He has since been fired.’

Jumping from one roof to another.. What could go wrong? 🙂

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‘Eight British Commandos have been flown home in disgrace for stripping naked and engaging in appalling behaviour in a Norwegian bar during an Arctic training exercise.

The men disgusted onlookers in the town of Harstad with a drunken game of “naked bar”.

After whipping off their clothes, they urinated on each other – splashing other customers and furniture – before slurring insults and abuse.

Furious senior officers ordered the soldiers, from the Army’s 59 Independent Commando Squadron Royal Engineers, back home to face disciplinary action.

“This is taken extremely seriously,” a Ministry of Defence official said. [..]

Harstad police spokesman Gair Pedersen said: “They were drunk and there was a problem in the bar but we are quite used to dealing with British soldiers like this.”‘

‘Four hundred years after it put Galileo on trial for heresy the Vatican is to complete its rehabilitation of the great scientist by erecting a statue of him inside the Vatican walls.

The planned statue is to stand in the Vatican gardens near the apartment in which Galileo was incarcerated while awaiting trial in 1633 for advocating heliocentrism, the Copernican doctrine that the Earth revolves around the Sun.

Nicola Cabibbo, head of the Pontifical Academy of Sciences and a nuclear physicist, said: “The Church wants to close the Galileo affair and reach a definitive understanding not only of his great legacy but also of the relationship between science and faith.”‘

‘You know you don’t have to do this, right?’

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‘Every night Joe Weston-Webb loads chicken droppings into a 30ft catapult and primes a cannon that used to fire his wife with a railway sleeper, all in the name of security.

The ex-showman wheeled out old props in a desperate bid to protect his business from arsonists. [..]

Mr Weston-Webb, 70, has rigged up Britain’s biggest anti-burglar device after being targeted by vandalism, break-ins and even an arson attack.

But police have told him he will be prosecuted if he unleashes the wrath of the 30ft-tall Roman catapult – filled with chicken poo collected from a nearby farm – on any yobs he catches on his property.

The businessman has even put up a sign outside his property reading: “WARNING. These premises are protected by Smart Poo and railway sleeper projectiles.”‘

When you can’t reach the ticket machine at the parking garage, this is a good a way as any of getting closer. Getting out of the car is for losers. 🙂

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‘A monster crocodile came within a metre of making a meal of a fisherman on a Northern Territory river.

The saltie came alongside the small boat – probably looking for a free feed of fish – and suddenly exploded out of the water.

It almost got its jaws around 27-year-old Israeli tourist Novon Mashiah, who was leaning over the back of a dinghy posing for a photo. [..]

“I was shocked – the animal clearly wanted to kill me,” Mr Mashiah told the Northern Territory News.

“One minute I was leaning over the boat teasing it for a picture. The next minute it burst out of the water with incredible speed … its jaws fully open. [..]

“I was pointing at it when it suddenly jumped up at me – I didn’t realise that crocs were so aggressive.”’

Oh my God, I’m dropping shit like a pigeon. I hope you’re listenin’..

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‘A website promoting the town of Mildenhall has been shut down after it unintentionally became the recipient of hundreds of classified emails, including messages detailing the planned flight path of President Bush.

Over more than a decade, www.mildenhall.com received emails detailing all kinds of secret military information that were intended for official Air Force personnel. One detailed where Air Force One could be found in the air during a planned visit to the region by President Bush. Others included battlefield strategy and passwords.

“I was being sent everything from banal chat and jokes, to videos up to 15mb in size,” Gary Sinnott, owner of mildenhall.com, said in this article in EDP 24. “Some were classified, some were personal. A lot had some really sensitive information in them.” [..]

Sinnott says he brought the SNAFU to the attention of Air Force officials but was never able to get the problem fixed. At first, they didn’t seem to take the matter seriously, but eventually, they “went mental,” he said. Officials advised Sinnott to block unrecognizable addresses from his domain and set up an auto-reply reminding people of the address for the official air force base.’

My random image site has been doing quite nicely lately. Well fucken surprised am I. 🙂 There’s a fair few images on it now. I should be passing 10,000 in the near future. I like arbitrary milestones and your mother will confirm that.

I’ve had more than 2.5 million people visit the image site since I started it last year. Well more than 10 million page loads.

Also, I have a cunning plan to show my testicles to tens of thousands of people, and then claim they aren’t mine. Or maybe I will put someone else’s testicles up there and claim they are mine. You never know. 🙂 Never! [Anyone out there want their nuts on the web? Labia are fine too.] The point is, I would laugh heartily because I have a juvenile sense of humour.

In any case, this is the spot where I don’t love you anymore.