Posts tagged as: funny
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Pakistan removed from the Internet
‘I cannot let the irony pass with out commenting. A religious state, Pakistan, identifies a content provider, YouTube, as the source of blasphemous, seditious content and orders, King Canute style, that the Internet tides be stopped. A zealous ISP ignorantly decides the best way to comply with the decree is to re-route all of YouTube’s IP addresses to whatever site they thought was more appropriate. The first repercussion was that YouTube disappeared from the Internet for almost an hour. I suspect the second repercussion was that Pakistan’s Internet access crawled to a halt as all of a sudden they were handling IP requests for one of the busiest sites in the world. As of this writing YouTube has announced more granular routes so that at least in the US they supercede the routes announced by PieNet. The rest of the world is still struggling. So, while working on a fix that will filter out the spurious route announcements, PCCW has found it necessary to shut down Pakistan’s Internet access. The leadership of Pakistan just created a massive Denial of Service on their own country.’
Monday, February 25, 2008
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
QDB: Quote #642195
‘bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!
bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR’
Let’s Paint, Exercise & Blend Drinks TV!
This man runs in a treadmill whilst simultaneously painting, blending fruit in a blender, and taking phone calls from people.
The painting isn’t very good, the fruit drink probably isn’t going to be very tasty, and the calls are all abusive.
Funny. 🙂
(22meg Flash video)
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Cute Girls Prank Guys In Elevator
‘Three cute chicks prank a bunch of people in an elevator using a fart machine.’
(4.5meg Flash video)
Religion Colors Americans’ Views Of Nanotechnology
‘Is nanotechnology morally acceptable? For a significant percentage of Americans, the answer is no, according to a recent survey of Americans’ attitudes about the science of the very small. [..]
“Our data show a much lower percentage of people who agree that nanotechnology is morally acceptable in the U.S. than in Europe,” says Scheufele, an expert on public opinion and science and technology. [..]
In a sample of 1,015 adult Americans, only 29.5 percent of respondents agreed that nanotechnology was morally acceptable.’
I pwned a noob!
‘<Onyxus>: Have you ever been pwned by a 4 year old? I have, and so has my son.
<Onyxus>: 1.) I was riding in the car with my family and my daughter (as I have taught her) randomly said "I pwned a noob!" Being a proud father I reached back and said "Gimme five" to which she promptly responded "No you’re the noob!"
<Onyxus>: 2.) Just today me and the missus were sitting in the living room watching TV while the kids were on the porch playing in their tiny little swimming pool. My son ran up to the back door and was yelling something unintelligible at it, when my daughter ran up behind him and dumped a cup full of water over his head…multiple times. He ran off, most likely to cry in a corner somewhere, and she looked at me through the door and yelled "I pwned a noob Daddy!"
<Onyxus>: Words can not describe the pride I feel in how I’ve brought up my daughter…’
If this group reaches 1,000,000 members, I will significantly curtail my baby consumption
‘Hey gang. You may have noticed that I recently joined The Facebook. Maybe we are friends? Travolta convinced me to join, so I made him my “Top Friend.” However, I am only number four on his “Top Friends” list, behind Tom Cruise, L. Ron Hubbard, and a leg of lamb he has recently become fond of.
Newspapers tell me that social networks like The Facebook are revolutionizing the way we communicate with one another. I tend to agree. Never before have we had so many different ways to let tangential acquaintances know that we are interested in having sex with them.
For instance, if I post something like “Where have you been all my life?” or “Happy birthday!” on your Facebook Wall, that means that I would likely be interested in penetrating you in any number of different ways. And I can think of a lot of ways, because I’m Christopher Walken.’
Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116
‘Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116 (pronounced [‘albin’]) was a name intended for a Swedish child who was born in 1991.
The boy’s parents had planned to never legally name him at all, as a protest to the naming law of Sweden (Namnlag (1982:670)), which reads:
“First names shall not be approved if they can cause offense or can be supposed to cause discomfort for the one using it, or names which for some obvious reason are not suitable as a first name.”
Because the parents (Elisabeth Hallin and Lasse Diding) failed to register a name by the boy’s fifth birthday, a district court in Halmstad, southern Sweden, fined the parents 5,000 kronor (US$682 at the time). Responding to the fine, the parents submitted the 43-character name in May 1996, claiming that it was “a pregnant, expressionistic development that we see as an artistic creation.” The parents suggested the name be understood in the spirit of ‘pataphysics. The court rejected the name and upheld the fine.’
Giant LCD Screen Hack
‘This dude hacks the jumbo screen at Utrecht Central Station to announce train cancellations and prank bystanders.’
This is the same guy from Kids Hack German Highway Signs.
(2.9meg Flash video)
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Restaurant sorry over F word bill
‘A restaurant owner has apologised after diners had their very own F word experience – without Gordon Ramsay.
Ten friends found the abusive and sexually-explicit message on their bill at Joe Delucci’s Italian restaurant in Bird Street, Lichfield, Staffordshire.
Diner Clare Watkin said she thought it was written after they complained about poor service.
The party from Walsall had gone to the restaurant on Friday. Owner Nigel Langsdon has begun an investigation.
Ms Watkin said: “I couldn’t believe it. The bill read ‘fish cakes’, which one of us had for a starter, and it was written right above it – absolutely disgusting language.’
Prank leaves car plunging through roof
‘A car was dropped onto the roof of a building in an industrial park Sunday night, crashing through the ceiling and heavily damaging one business.
A forklift was used to hoist the 1966 Chevy Nova up and onto the roof of the Rancho Vista Business Park on Specialty Drive near Activity Drive about 7:30 p.m., said Sheriff’s Sgt. Jeff Maxin.
The car crashed into a business that specializes in the installation and repair of sliding glass doors and windows; it was heavily damaged, Maxin said.
It appears that both the heavy machinery as well as the car were parked somewhere near the site, Maxin said. The car was being repaired or refurbished, he said.
Witnesses said they saw a man running from the site.’
Analyze This: Hoaxer Haunts Earnings Calls
‘Some big companies have had a surprise during their earnings conference calls this quarter — and it has nothing to do with the weak economy.
At least seven times just the past three weeks, a mystery caller has cleverly insinuated himself into the normally well-manicured ritual of the quarterly calls. As top executives of publicly traded companies respond to securities analysts’ questions about their balance sheets, he impersonates a well-known analyst to get called upon. Then, usually declaring himself to be “Joe Herrick of Gutterman Research,” he launches into his own version of analyst-speak.
“Congratulations on the solid numbers — you always seem to come through in challenging times,” he said to Leo Kiely, president and chief executive officer of Molson Coors Brewing Co., on Feb. 12, convincingly parroting the obsequious banter common to the calls. “Can you provide some more color as to what you are doing for your supply chain initiatives to reduce manufacturing costs per hectoliter, as you originally promised $150 million in synergy or savings to decrease working capital?”‘
Drink Machine Attacks Woman
A couple of decent attempts to injure the woman.. Hooray for machines on the rampage. 🙂
(1.1meg Flash video)
School newspaper drops a V-bomb
‘Grover Cleveland High School Principal Bob Marks has his limits.
On Thursday, it was the labeled diagram of a vagina splashed across the front page of the student newspaper’s Valentine’s Day issue.
Flustered teachers rushed to confiscate the publication, but with some copies already in circulation and the Reseda campus in an uproar, it quickly became a hot read for the school’s roughly 3,700 students.
And some of the contraband issues made their way home, getting a quick reaction from parents.
“My phone’s been ringing off the hook,” Marks said. Only one parent asked why the paper was taken away; the others called to say they were offended, he said.
The drawing in question ran under the hot-pink headline “Have a happy Vagina Day!” and the four-page edition included stories titled “Ending shame for nature’s gift” and “Rejected!!!!!!!”‘
Prank On Angry Grandpa Goes Wrong
A 2:30am sneaky lotion application doesn’t go as planned.
Followup to Angry Grandpa Ruins Christmas and Angry Grandpa Pissed About Dinner.
(5.9meg Flash video)
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Don’t Mess With The Old Chinese Women!
‘So we stop at Sacramento Street (just before the tunnel), and a whole group of people want to push on to the bus. Everybody at the stop manages to squeeze in when there is a bit of a commotion at the front.
An old Chinese lady (I am assuming she was Chinese) was holding in her hand a live chicken. She was holding it by the feet and, as a chicken in such a situation would do, this particular chicken was squawking up a storm.
The bus driver (a large African-American gentleman; this was back before a majority of the drivers became asian) was standing up, pointing at the squawking chicken, telling the lady, “Hey! You can’t come on the bus with a live chicken!”
Anyone who believes the Chinese people (or asian people) in San Francisco cannot understand english is completely naive. They understand. Oh yes they do. [..]’
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Kitchen-Floor Conflict Intensifies As Rival House Cats Claim Same Empty Bag
‘Ongoing turmoil in the troubled kitchen-floor region of the Branson household reached a boiling point Tuesday, as relations between rival house cats Boswell and Johnson erupted into fresh violence. Observers said the arrival of a new brown paper-bag in the area ignited long-standing tensions and set off another round of territorial conflict between the two factions in the most serious aggression since the devastating stove-side siege of 2005.
The afternoon was marred by sporadic fighting, according to reports, with opposing forces darting and then retreating in surprise attacks. Boswell held his position despite relentless onslaughts from Johnson, who repeatedly batted the controversial bag along the ancient linoleum surface. By the end of the day, neither side displayed any intention to halt reprisals without the other first relinquishing claims and pulling out permanently — an outcome those close to the fighting called “unlikely at best.”‘
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Friday, February 15, 2008
High school calls all 2,550 students to detention
‘An accidental push of a button Friday had students at Palm Bay High questioning what they’d done wrong and parents plotting punishments.
Parents of all 2,550 students in the school received an automated call Friday reminding them that their student had to report for Saturday morning detention. Problem was, the message only should have gone to 16 homes.
“One of my friends texted me to ask if I had Saturday detention,” said Robert Lenoci, 15, of Valkaria. The sophomore is going to the state science fair finals and hasn’t been in trouble before.
“I looked and I had a message from mom. She was asking, ‘What did you do?’ It was pretty bad,” he said.’