‘A surge in Christmas tree poaching has forced growers and property owners to take action. Smelly, discolored trees are less likely to be cut and dragged off by thieves, they say.
At the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, for example, evergreens are sprayed with a fox urine mixture and tagged with a warning to discourage tree thieves.
“It is a strong odour, and it smells just like what it is,” said Kirby Baird, a landscape manager at the school.
When the tree is out in the cold, the smell isn’t noticeable, Mr. Baird said. But once the tree is inside and starts to warm up…
“It’s nasty,” he said.’
`The gunman who fatally shot three people in a law firm’s high-rise office before he was killed by police felt cheated over an invention, authorities said Saturday. [..]
Jackson, 59, told witnesses before he was shot that he had been cheated over a toilet he had invented for use in trucks, Police Superintendent Phil Cline said Saturday.
He was holding a hostage at gunpoint Friday when SWAT officers shot him from about 45 yards away, Cline said earlier. There were no negotiations and the hostage was unharmed, police said.’
A Google search for that phrase currently gives a link to www.moonbuggy.org/tag/piss/, which makes me laugh. 🙂
It’s down the bottom of the page, but still in the top 10. Heh. The only results above it at the moment are from the SMH, The Herald Sun and The Australian newspapers. 🙂
It’s probably not as funny as I think it is. But fuckyas. 🙂
The post Google probably wants to be pointing to is here: Taking the p out of PM snow joke
`Saying “ho, ho, ho” is practically a Christmas miracle, given the job woes that shopping mall and store Santas face each day, according to a survey released on Monday. [..]
A third of all Santas reported having been wet on by a child, the survey said.
Nearly 90 percent of Santas said children pull their beard every day to see if it’s real, and nearly half said children try to pull their glasses off every day as well, it said.’
‘Sunrise co-host David Koch knows all about piss takes … but there’s one he wishes he hadn’t got involved in.
The TV star has been forced to apologise for retelling a viewer’s joke on air involving John and Janette Howard and a message written in urine in the snow. [..]
The network even got a call from an irate Government minister offended by Koch’s telling of the gag during yesterday’s Joke of the Day segment at 6.50am.
Even his on-air colleagues looked frozen by the time he came to the end of the joke, until co-host Natalie Barr gave an awkward laugh.
“I think that’s actually … Did you vet that with anyone before you … ?” a stunned Barr asked.’
Update: now with video.
(3.9meg Flash video)
see it here »
`We’ve all dreamed of it – who wouldn’t want to have bright blue urine? Alright, I admit some people might be appalled at this strange activity, but many will find it interesting.
No, you don’t have to contract Syphilis to get blue urine. The method presented here is quite harmless.
WARNING: This guide contains instructions to eat things which are not sold for human consumption. Make sure you know the risks and read all relevant MSDS sheets before trying this on yourself! Some people may be allergic to Methylene Blue dye.’
`A toilet which flushes to the sound of Italy’s national anthem has been impounded by police in northern Italy, sparking great patriotic debate.
The offending loo was the creation of two local artists and was on display at the Bolzano Museum of Modern Art.
Prosecutors say the Fratelli d’Italia anthem is a national emblem which should be protected and should never be open to ridicule.’
‘These guys invite their buddy over and tell him to come through the back door because the front is locked. When he gets below their window they drench him with a bucket of their urine. These are great friends to have.’
(10.7meg Windows media)
see it here »
`The family of four was enjoying a meal together at Pizza Piazza in the High Street at about 9.15pm on October 16 when they were approached at their table by the suspect, who was carrying a clear plastic bag containing what police believe to be urine.
He was heard to say “This is for you” and then threw the liquid over the family and their food. He then quickly walked out of the restaurant.
A waitress in the restaurant called the police who did not arrive immediately, leaving the family sitting in urine-soaked clothes for more than 30 minutes.’
`A fifth-grade teacher allowed five students — a boy and four girls — to use a trash can as a toilet during a school lockdown drill when no one was supposed to leave the classroom. [..]
On Tuesday, Frandino gave the Charlestowne Academy students permission to use the trash can. When a girl used the bathroom, other girls held up jackets to shield the view while other students stood on the opposite wall with their backs turned, school district spokesman Jerry Adams said. Boys also did the same for the boy.
“It’s not acceptable,” associate superintendent Patricia Yandle told the newspaper.’
`Angry parents say their children were traumatized, maybe scarred for life, in a bizarre grade school invasion in Kentucky.
Police say a sub-contracted teacher and her husband conspired to steal urine from students, some as young as 4 years old.
The accused made a court appearance Tuesday in Greenup County.
Glenda Neace worries her fifth grade son may never be the same after she says Nick Kintigos invaded Argellite Elementary and forced her boy to try and pee in a cup.’
‘Crew members on a Sharon Stone movie were so annoyed by her behaviour that they urinated in a bathtub before she got in it to film a scene, a new book claims.’
`For fecal and urine specimens, you will receive 2.0-3.0 cubic centimeters of specimen packaged in a hermetically-sealed transparent plastic cylinder (about the size of a film canister). The contents will be clearly visible through the cylinder. We do not recommend opening the cylinder after purchase, and we cannot be held liable for any injuries you sustain from engaging in this highly risky behavior.
For saliva, you will receive 0.5-1.0 cubic centimeters of specimen packaged in the same manner as the fecal and urine specimens. Some saliva samples may contain elements of toothpaste, mouthwash or food particles. We have no control over what the saliva may be mixed with.
Skin cells and bacteria come on a guaranteed non-corrosive and non-fogging durable glass slide for easy examination on any standard microscope.’
`Straight out of a toilet and into your bed . The new Pee & Poo toys are cute, cuddly and a little controversial. Designer Emma Megitt launched her unique friends at the Future Designer Days Expo this year. The first batch of Pee & Poo toys hit Sweden and where sold out quicker than you can say Abba. The controversy surrounding a line of toys representing human waste has created great publicity for Megitt and has launched her name into the designer world spotlight. Originally sold separately Pee & Poo now come in a duo pack. So you get both bodily functions covered in the one box.’
`A Baton Rouge hospital, hoping to get to the bottom of an office prank, is ordering 25 employees to undergo DNA testing or be terminated.
Leaders at Woman’s Hospital say a man who works in Building Operations returned from several weeks off to find that someone had placed urine in his toolbox.
After hearing of the incident, hospital administrators sent a memo to 25 employees who also work there telling them that DNA testing would be done unless someone came forward admitting guilt. Since no one came forward, the hospital said the DNA testing will begin within the next few weeks.’
`A disturbing case was discovered Tuesday about a Central Ohio man who allegedly told police he likes to drink the urine of adolescent boys. [..]
“Listening to his describe it, it’s like listening to a crack or cocaine addict. He’s addicted to children’s urine,” Fithen said.
According to police, Patton said he’s been drinking urine for years.
“He told us he’s been doing it over 40 years, since he was 7 years old,” Fithen said.
Police said Patton goes to family restaurants and movie theaters and waits for boys in a bathroom stall. Investigators said he shuts off the water to the child-level urinal and puts a cup in the bottom.’
`Drinking your own urine? Orland Park police have no problem with that.
But drink it in a front-page newspaper article while wearing your crossing guard uniform complete with official police insignia, and there will be problems.
Ed Danis, the 84-year-old Orland Park “urine therapy” devotee featured in a Jan. 29 Southtown story, has been suspended from his job as a crossing guard, effective Wednesday.
Orland Park Police Chief Tim McCarthy, whose department oversees the part-time guards, said Danis had been warned in writing twice before that he was not allowed to espouse his beliefs while on duty or in his uniform.’
`Darwin City Council says its parking inspectors are used to copping a bit of abuse but the discovery that someone had urinated in their motorbike helmets was a step too far.
Council chief executive officer Alan McGill says five helmets were targeted during a break-in at the council’s compound last week. [..]
“So we’re not quite sure now whether it was someone who was a bit upset or, to put it bluntly, pissed off at getting a parking fine.”‘
`Latin crooner Ricky Martin has expressed outrage over a controversy that emerged after he told a leading US music magazine he enjoyed “golden showers” – the act of urinating on another person. [..]
“I love giving the golden shower,” he told Blender magazine. “I’ve done it before in the shower. It’s like so sexy, you know, the temperature of your body and the shower water is very different.”‘
‘For the first time, American soldiers who personally tortured Iraqi prisoners have come forward to give testimony to human rights organisations about crimes they committed.
Three soldiers — a captain and two sergeants — from the 82nd Airborne Division stationed at Forward Operating Base (FOB) Mercury near Fallujah in Iraq have told Human Rights Watch how prisoners were tortured both as a form of stress relief and as a way of breaking them for interrogation sessions. [..]
The 82nd Airborne soldiers at FOB Mercury earned the nickname “The Murderous Maniacs” from local Iraqis and took the moniker as a badge of honour.
The soldiers referred to their Iraqi captives as PUCs — persons under control — and used the expressions “fucking a PUC” and “smoking a PUC” to refer respectively to torture and forced physical exertion.’
‘A restaurant in northeastern China that advertised illegal tiger meat dishes was found instead to be selling donkey flesh – marinated in tiger urine, a newspaper reported Thursday.
The Hufulou restaurant, located beside the Heidaohezi tiger reserve near the city of Hailin, had advertised stir-fried tiger meat with chilies for $98 as well as liquor flavored with tiger bone for $74 a bottle, the China Daily reported.
Raw meat was priced at $864 per kilogram.
The sale of tiger parts is illegal in China and officers shut down the restaurant, only to be told by owner, Ma Shikun, that the meat was actually that of donkeys, flavored with tiger urine to give the dish a “special” tang, the newspaper said.’
‘These kids decide to pee down a slide in the middle of the night at a park. After they finish the one guy thinks he can still safely walk down the slide but he is wrong.’
(3.3meg Windows media)
see it here »
`When Johan Vande Lanotte, Belgium’s Vice Prime Minister, goes to the toilets today, he finds the urinals in the offices of his ministry decorated with stickers. They show an American flag and the head of George W. Bush. “Go ahead. Piss on me,” the caption says. Vande Lanotte is one of Bush’s hosts in Brussels. Is peeing on your guest’s head appropriate? In Belgium it is. After all, Brussels’ best known statue is that of “Manneken Pis,” a peeing boy.’
`[A] correspondent who works for a Slovak news agency informed us that not only has the avalanche story (or any news story about an avalanche) not appeared in the news media there, but the very same tale (of Czech origin, told about an unnamed man caught in the Austrian Alps) was circulating in that country as an e-mail joke even before the heavy snows described in the article occurred.’
follow-up to Man peed way out of avalanche.
`A Slovak man trapped in his car under an avalanche freed himself by drinking 60 bottles of beer and urinating on the snow to melt it.
Rescue teams found Richard Kral drunk and staggering along a mountain path four days after his Audi car was buried in the Slovak Tatra mountains.’
`Students at a secondary school in Sprockhoevel can choose to use the old toilets for free or pay 10 cents to use a new luxury toilet with marble wash basins. [..]
[Some politician] described the toilet toll as “heartless” and said: “Second-class peeing should not be allowed.”‘
‘Sentencing will be Jan. 20 for a man who unintentionally killed a friend who had given him a beer can filled with urine as a practical joke. [..]
He punched Leonard Strong in the head last July on the Umatilla Indian Reservation, and Strong died two days later. [..]
Shippentower told federal judge Ancer Haggerty he did not mean to kill Strong but was upset at the prank.’
`Most devotees drink the midstream of their morning urine. Some prefer it straight and steaming hot; others mix it with juice or serve it over fruit. Some prefer a couple of urine drops mixed with a tablespoon of water applied sublingually several times a day. Some wash themselves in their own golden fluid to improve their skin quality.’
`The bizarre episode began at 12:30 a.m. [..] as the manager was closing up for the night, police sources said.
The manager went up to Steven Scott, 33, and asked him to leave, but the stubborn customer refused, authorities said.
Scott became so enraged that he pulled down his pants and urinated on some merchandise in the store, sources said.
After swiping four DVDs and a blank tape, Scott fled the store, the sources said.’
