`A Littleton man who admitted breaking into homes and masturbating was bound over for trial in Jefferson County Tuesday on charges of burglary with intent to litter, the Rocky Mountain News reported.
Robert Kent Peterson, 45, is free on a $50,000 bond, until his trial.
The Lockheed Martin employee was arrested last on Feb. 3 after a woman said she found him hiding her daughter’s bedroom closet in the 9600 block of West Chatfield Avenue. He allegedly told the woman that he worked for a plumbing company.’
`A charity foundation’s former accountant, accused of embezzling heart disease research funds to pay a dominatrix to beat him, pleaded guilty Tuesday to grand larceny and admitted he stole more than $237,000.
Abraham Alexander, 45, of East Meadow, N.Y., admitted taking the money from the Cardiovascular Research Foundation by using company credit cards and writing checks to himself.
At least $11,000 went to pay Through the Looking Glass, an online company run by Columbus-based dominatrix, and other charges included flights between New York and Ohio and car rentals, according to District Attorney Robert Morgenthau’s office.’
`A South African dominatrix has given up her battle to live in a vicarage, telling the church’s congregation they can “shove” the disputed residence, a local newspaper reported Wednesday.
The Pretoria News said Marianne Ellis had been renting the manse, or vicarage, at the Doornkloof Nederduitse Gereformeerde Kerk near Pretoria for some time when church elders discovered her sideline as a local dominatrix and asked her to move.
Ellis and her husband at first sought to fight the church in court, but Tuesday decided to back down, the newspaper said.
“It is a long story, but basically I am tired of fighting, really tired. They can take their manse back, in fact they can shove it,” she told the newspaper.’
`uesday a Fenton chiropractor was charged with sexually assaulting his patients. Investigators say Dr. Robert Moore inappropriately touched three of his patients numerous times.
After taking a look at the evidence, Genesee County Prosecutor David Leyton has decided to charge Moore with 10 counts of fourth-degree criminal sexual conduct.
Moore walked into court with his wife on one arm and his bible in the other. He faced the judge, who charged him with 10 counts of 4th degree criminal sexual conduct. [..]
“He touched their breasts, saying he had to do it as part of the adjustment and in one instance he said he had to because their breasts were uneven and he had to do something about it,” Leyton said.’
`Frustrated husband Rudolf Gibbs was taken to court — for breaking his wife’s Rampant Rabbit vibrator.
Gibbs, 61, had not been sleeping with her and was angry after finding the sex toy hidden at their home.
The court heard that he burst into his wife’s bedroom to confront her. Gibbs sat with his head bowed in the dock as prosecutor Vinit Kotecha said: “He found her sex toy, which was a Rampant Rabbit.
“He entered her bedroom with the instrument and challenged her about it, saying, ‘Why don’t you use it now?’
“He said, ‘Make love to this’ — then he damaged it.”
Gibbs, married for 28 years, was charged with causing criminal damage after his furious wife called in cops. He pleaded guilty to one charge of causing £38 worth of criminal damage to the toy.’
`Law enforcement officials say the other players who dog-piled the 15-year-old and pinned him on the Sierra Vista gym floor were engaged in horseplay and unaware Starring was assaulting the boy.
Police reports and district attorney’s office documents detailing the allegations against him are not public, because Starring has not been charged as an adult. But a source told the Review-Journal the sexual assault count stems from allegations that Starring penetrated the 15-year-old player’s rectum with his finger while the boy was being held down by fellow players during a brief “horseplay” episode in the school’s gymnasium.
The open and gross lewdness counts arise from accusations that Starring groped the 15-year-old’s buttocks and testicles, the source said.’
`A poodle is recovering today after its owner found her covered in feces and blood in the backyard of her northeast Phoenix home.
Arizona Humane Society spokeswoman Angela Stringfellow says the eight-pound, five-year-old toy poodle had been raped and sodomized by a human.’
‘A big dick and a limber body don’t belong to everyone, but if you can already get pretty close there are a few tricks you can do to improve and hopefully, get that incredible rush that comes when you finally make contact between your tongue and your own dick.
I first sucked my 9 inch dick at age fourteen and I think an early start helps. I laid off for a good ten years and when I started again, it took work to get back in contact. I’ve been doing it again for about two years, but lately have come to the belief that practice *definitely* pays off. Before, I could only lick the tip with real strain, legs thrown over my head. Now I am getting the whole juicy head in my mouth plus some shaft, and I can lick halfway down my dick and taste my balls. I can also now suck it standing up and sitting down.’
`Act now and let evangelist Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron show you how to share the way of salvation to a bunch of dirty pillowbiters without causing undue offense! To play at home you’ll need about 20 years of repressed homosexuality and residual cash from a bloody awful 80s shit-com.’
It’s a 30 minute long video..
`State senators are considering a proposal that would allow South Carolina to execute those convicted two or more times of sexually assaulting children.
The amendment came as the Senate took up sexual offender legislation crafted in response to a Florida girl kidnapped and killed last year and a week after a Hartsville man was charged with abducting two girls to an underground shelter and assaulting them.
Currently, South Carolina prosecutors can only seek the death penalty for murder with aggravating circumstances. If the proposed amendment by Sen. Kevin Bryant of Anderson passes, South Carolina would join Louisiana as the only other state to allow the death penalty for an offense other than murder, senators said.’
`Last night, Mr. Kevin Smith a.k.a. Silent Bob a.k.a. director of “Dogma” and “Clerks” and “Jersey Girl” (!!!) spoke at my escuela and, in the midst of a huge amount of profanity and cock jokes, he pulled out some stories about his compatriot, Jason Mewes (Jay). Jay used to be a hardcore heroin addict, but when he finally officially cleaned up about 3 years ago, he started getting way more ass.
“I fuck a lot more,” Smith said Mewes said, “and remember it more. But I fuck a lot shorter too.” Apparently one of his remembered sexcapades was everyone’s favorite walking stick, Nicole Richie, who, and I quote, “pulled Jay into a bathroom and just sat on his dick and started going at it.” While he ejaculated in approximately 30 seconds and it was “running all over her back,” she didn’t notice because she “had had a few drinks or something.” By “drinks,” I’m sure he was meant “blow” but didn’t say it since that would have been a confusingly false sex pun.’
`The Pleasure Periscope is a vibrator and a periscope! Enter into the anus or vagina and watch what’s inside from a 1-inch square window. The rounded clear plastic tip lights up. The 1-inch shaft is hollow with a mirror inside its base. Insertable to about 4.5 inches. It has separate on/off switches for both the vibrator and the light, so you can use either one independently of the other. Total height 8.5 inches.
Uses 2 AA batteries (not included).’
`A Kansas man was arrested at a Tulsa strip club after police say his toddler son wandered from an unlocked car into the club over the weekend.
Christopher Greg Killion, 31, was arrested Saturday on a complaint of “encouraging a minor child to be in need of supervision.” He posted $500 bond and was released from the Tulsa Jail.
The toddler told police that his father told him to stay in the car, and that if he left it, “monsters would eat him,” reports indicate.’
`A German court ordered viagra to be given to a stallion after his new owner claimed he was impotent and refused to pay the full asking price.
The buyer of the horse called Vedor paid just a tenth of the price of over 4,000 euros ($6,700), claiming it had only one testicle and failed to get frisky with a female pony.’
‘I suppose across the world their are various ways to greet someone. Looks like Italy is definitely the friendliest. This is Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi greeting a traffic cop just before he gets in his limousine.’
Watch this video and laugh. Then imagine John Howard doing the same thing and laugh a second time. Go on, you know you want to.
(1.4meg Windows media)
see it here »
`An HIV-positive man who admitted having sex with his 8-year-old stepdaughter over a two-month period was sentenced in a San Mateo County courtroom today to 16 years in prison.
Frederick Torralva, 53, pleaded no contest today to one count of engaging in three or more acts of substantial sexual conduct with a child under the age of 14, the San Mateo County district attorney’s office reported.
He also pleaded no contest to the special allegation that he had knowledge that he was HIV-positive at the time of the crimes against his wife’s child, according to the district attorney’s office.’
Cunt.
`Internet service providers (ISPs) will be forced to block violent and pornographic material before it reaches home computers if Labor wins the next federal election.
Under the policy, announced by Opposition Leader Kim Beazley today, international websites would be banned by the Australian Communications and Media Authority if they contained graphic sexual or violent material, rated R or higher.
The bans would be maintained by ISPs.’
I might have already posted this. Can’t remember. Still, vaguely amusing and worth another quick look. 🙂
`An Israeli court sentenced a man to two years in prison on Sunday for operating a fake clinic that offered penis enhancements and so-called medical treatments to make people taller, which failed to work.
Simon Sofer told dozens of clients he was a doctor and said he could add up to 3.9 inches to their height or 2.4 inches to their genitals, the Tel Aviv court said.
His clinic, in operation since 1999, was not medically supervised, a government prosecutor had told the court.’
`Fake porn euro notes being sold as a gimmick in Germany are being successfully passed off as real cash.
The notes, in 300, 600 and 1,000 euro denominations have a ring of 12 hearts instead of the usual EU stars and feature hunky men and big-breasted nude women.
Instead of the word ‘Euro’ being printed in the corner these notes have ‘Eros’ – the Greek god of love.
But despite these differences – and the fact that the only large euro notes currently in circulation are 100s, 200s and 500s – police say they are being passed off as the real thing.’
‘A 75-year-old grandfather has become the newest star of Russia’s growing porn industry, after wandering on to a film set by mistake, thinking it was a muscle man show.
David Bozdoganov has since starred in the films The Old Neighbour and Handyman at Work.
Director Alexander Plahov said: “We were auditioning for a new film and had a number of couples on stage simulating sex when I saw an old guy standing at the back.
“I wandered over to ask him to leave when I saw this massive package straining against his trousers. [..]”‘
Also, lemons.
Accurately titled, if not accurately spelt. Safe for work? Have a guess..
(570kB Windows media)
`A Scotrun man, who police say was masturbating in the nude on a sidewalk before leading officers on a high-speed chase Nov. 29 in Pocono and Stroud townships, will head to Monroe County Court.
Eric Wayne, 57, said he “tends to get a little weird” when he and his partner haven’t been intimate, according to an affidavit signed by Pocono Township Police Officer Robert Furino.’
`The zig-zagging car gave them away.
When Italian police pulled over the vehicle, they found a completely naked 70-year-old woman who had been trying to have sex with the driver – 11 years her junior.
After demanding the joy-riding couple get dressed, the police tested the semi-nude male motorist for drink driving.
“He was three times over the legal (blood-alcohol) limit,” said police commander Angelo D’Anardo in the city of Cologno al Serio, northeast of Milan.’
`Women involved in prostitution in Daytona Beach, Fla., have reportedly armed themselves and are searching for a serial killer behind the slayings of three residents, according to a Local 6 News report. [..]
“We will get him first,” streetwalker Tonya Richardson said. “Yeah, we are going to get him first. When we find him, he is going to be sorry. It is as simple as that.”
Richardson said she and other women are carrying weapons on the streets after Laquetta Gunther, Julie Green and Iwana Patton were found dead in the city.
“I carry a switch blade with me now,” Richardson said. “Everyone else does now too.”‘
`The camera focuses on two gay men kissing in a park. Later, a topless woman emerges from the sea and walks onto a crowded beach. For would-be immigrants to the Netherlands, this film is a test of their readiness to participate in the liberal Dutch culture.
If they can’t stomach it, no need to apply.
Despite whether they find the film offensive, applicants must buy a copy and watch it if they hope to pass the Netherlands’ new entrance examination.’
`Death cult guru Shoko Asahara is merely trying to pull the wool over authorities’ eyes to avoid the death sentence against him from being carried out, psychiatrists claimed in a report filed to the Tokyo High Court last month to determine whether he is mentally fit to stand trial. Friday (3/17), however, says what the swami’s actually pulling is something entirely different. [..]
“He took off his trousers and diapers, exposed his genitalia and masturbated. He repeated the same action frequently. Whenever he acts like that, he drops his trousers, his diaper and diaper cover to his knees, finishes the act, then raises his trousers up to his waist again,” Friday quotes the Nishiyama Report as saying.
The weekly goes on to note that Asahara does not restrain his self-ministrations to times when he’s alone in his cell at the Tokyo Detention Center.’
`You know the drill. Every 14th of February you get the chance to display your fondness for a significant other by showering her with gifts, flowers, dinner, shows and any other baubles that women find romantic. Every Valentines day you rack your brains for that one special, unique gift that will show your wife or girlfriend that you really do care for them more than any other. Now ladies, I’ll let you in on a little secret; guys really don’t enjoy this that much. Sure seeing that smile on your face when we get it right is priceless, but that smile is the result of weeks of blood, sweat and consideration. Another secret; guys feel left out. That’s right, there’s no special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the men in their life. Men as a whole are either too proud or too embarrassed to admit it.
Which is why a new holiday has been created.
March 14th is now officially “Steak and Blowjob Day”. Simple, effective and self explanatory, this holiday has been created so you ladies finally have a day to show your man how much you care for him.’
`A man who portrayed himself as an avenging angel for child sex-crime victims was sentenced to more than 44 years in prison Friday for killing two sex offenders.
Michael A. Mullen, 36, escaped a potential life sentence in a plea deal reached this week, ending a case considered one of the nation’s worst cases of vigilantism against sex offenders.
Mullen had confessed to the high-profile killings in letters to the news media, expressing a desire to be executed as a symbol of retribution against sex offenders.’
`A burglar was spared a stiff prison term — after a judge heard he was permanently aroused down below.
Maurice Baumann, 32, was given a year in a German jail for robbing homes in a British Army garrison town.
But he avoided the cells when he was admitted to hospital with an emergency case of priapism — a condition which keeps the manhood ever-ready for sex.
A clinical report showed he suffered from either “semi” or “maximum rigidity” at all times.
Baumann has been prescribed drugs, acupuncture and even wide trousers to hide his embarrassment.’
