‘A man has admitted trying to have sex with a goat – but believed he wouldn’t get caught because “animals couldn’t talk”.
New Zealand’s Rangiora District Court was told the pensioner, who managed to protect his identity, took the goat round the back of his farm and tried to commit a sex act with it.
The court was told that there were complications – and according to reports, “he did up his trousers, patted the goat and walked off”.
A police spokeswoman said: “He was contrite, but said he was unable to stop the behaviour.”‘
‘A Polish worker has come up with an unusual excuse after being caught in the act with a vacuum cleaner.
The building contractor claimed he was cleaning his underpants with Henry Hoover when he was found naked and on his knees in a hospital’s staff canteen.
A stunned security guard stumbled onto the man in the middle of a compromising act with the cleaner, which has a large smiley face painted on its front and a hose protruding from its “nose”. [..]
The security guard, suitably horrified, told the man to “clean himself and the hoover” before asking him to leave and informing his bosses.
When later questioned by his employers, the man said he was vacuuming his underpants, which was “a common practice in Poland”. He has since been fired.’
‘A British teacher is facing up to six months in jail after being convicted of defamation for comments she made in exposing pedophiles at a children’s charity in Ethiopia 10 years ago.
Jill Campbell and her husband Gary Campbell compiled evidence in 1999 that helped convict the director of an Ethiopian orphanage run by the Swiss charity Terre Des Hommes-Lausanne. The charity acknowledged the abuse took place, but brought a successful defamation case against the Campbells for their claims that the charity’s senior staff covered up the scandal.
Jill Campbell will be sentenced Friday.
“We asked them to stop defaming us and they said no,” said Colin Tucker, child protection manager for Terre Des Hommes in Switzerland. “Then the court asked them to stop defaming us and she said no again.”
The Campbells, who have lived in Ethiopia for more than a decade, have drawn wide support in Ethiopia. A group formed to support them, Stop Institutional Pedophilia in Ethiopia, said the charity is “forcing Gary and Jill to apologize for blowing the whistle.”‘
‘A 40-year-old Central Florida woman is accused of sexually abusing a 16-year-old girl with yellow chili peppers.
Investigators said the woman, who works at the Carnagie Gardens Nursing Home Center in Melbourne, beat the victim with an iron and iron cord after she arrived home.
She said she was also sexually abused with the peppers while she tried to shower.
The girl then reported the attack to a teacher the next day and a nurse’s exam confirmed the abuse, police said.’
‘Footage of a mother repeatedly raped in front of her screaming children posted on YouTube has sparked calls for the video sharing website to be moderated.
The 25-year-old woman, who said her glass of champagne was spiked by three teenage boys when they visited her London home in November, said the three-minute mobile phone footage of of her horrific ordeal was watched by 600 people.
The woman said she was unable to move, but fully aware during the hours-long attack.
“They just hurt me the whole way through. They had no respect,” she told Sky News.
“Afterwards one pissed on me, like I was nothing. [..]
“Putting (the video) on the internet was an abomination,” the mother said.
“I was raped on film and you could hear my daughter and four-year-old son crying. I cannot understand how any website could show such a thing.”‘
‘Gay porn twin brothers have been arrested for a series of rooftop burglaries.
Keyontyli and Taleon Goffney, who starred together in hardcore internet videos, are suspected of raids in at least three US states over 18 months.
They were finally caught after being seen breaking into a beauty salon through the roof.
Police say the pair could be responsible for dozens of similar crimes.
The 25-year-olds have appeared in online gay porn using the names Teyon and Keyon.
Erik Schut, of gay DVDs firm TLA Entertainment Group, said: “They are incredibly good-looking and being identical twins, it’s a novelty.”‘
‘The mysterious G spot – supposedly a route to female sexual satisfaction – can be located with ultrasound, claim Italian scientists.
Some women say stimulating a certain part of the vagina triggers powerful orgasms, but medicine has not been able to pin down the exact location.
Researchers told New Scientist magazine they found an area of thicker tissue among the women reporting orgasms.
But specialists warned there could be other reasons for this difference.’
‘The man accused of murdering a model said he was “totally disgusted” with himself for having sex with her corpse.
Mark Dixie, accused of killing Sally Anne Bowman, said he did not realise she was dead until after he had sex with her body, the Old Bailey heard.
He said he became suspicious when the teenager did not react to bites on her face and body.
Mr Dixie, 37, denies murdering the 18-year-old in Croydon, south London, during a sex attack, in September 2005.
Giving evidence, he said: “I don’t know what went through my mind. I took full advantage of someone and I should not have done it.”‘
A 2:30am sneaky lotion application doesn’t go as planned.
Followup to Angry Grandpa Ruins Christmas and Angry Grandpa Pissed About Dinner.
(5.9meg Flash video)
see it here »
‘Tammie Mills said she was tired of being hurt in relationships. She was just a teenager, she said, but she wanted to be a mother.
Mills, now 24, said she began a sexual relationship with her father seven years ago. She was 17 when their first daughter was born, Mills said, and they have another daughter who is 2.
“I know it was wrong, but it is my life,” Mills said in an interview Friday. “We loved each other. We were in it together.”
Her father, Michael A. Mills, 46, was arrested Thursday on an incest charge, based on the longstanding sexual relationship he allegedly had with his daughter. [..]
Tammie Mills said her father did not force her to have sex. She wanted a baby.’
‘A woman in Germany who became pregnant after an online sex auction has won a court battle to force the Web site that hosted the sale to reveal the names of the winners, so she can find out who’s the father.
Six different men won Internet auctions to have sex with the woman in April and May last year. They were only known to her by their online names, a spokesman for a court in the southwestern city of Stuttgart said Wednesday.
“The woman wanted to discover which one of the men had made her pregnant,” the spokesman said. “So she needed their contact details. Of course, if they’re not willing to go along with the gene test, she’ll have to take them to court.”‘
‘An eight-year-old boy had to be freed by firefighters after getting stuck in a pair of handcuffs he found in his mother’s bedroom.
Firefighters took the schoolboy to Copnor Fire Station in Portsmouth, Hampshire.
The crew had to use industrial metal cutters to free the boy.
The cuffs were described as made of “hardened steel” and not meant as a toy. [..]
“Before we released him I asked if he was on the run from the police but he assured me he wasn’t.
“And then his grandmother said he’d found the cuffs in his mother’s bedroom.
“She immediately realised what she’d said and put her hand over her mouth.’
‘Softball, drunken orgies and a prison system run like the mafia. That’s what Florida’s former prison secretary says he inherited when he took over one of the nation’s largest prison systems two years ago.
In fact, on his first day on the job, James McDonough says he walked into his office — the same one his predecessor used — and there was crime scene tape preventing anyone from entering.
“That was an indication we had a problem in the department,” McDonough told CNN in an exclusive interview before he stepped down last Thursday. [..]
“Corruption had gone to an extreme,” McDonough said, saying it all began at the top. “They seemed to be drunk half the time and had orgies the other half, when they weren’t taking money and beating each other up.” [..]
McDonough described a bizarre prison culture among those that ran the system — one that he says seemed obsessed with inter-department softball games and the orgies after games.’
They earn more than I do.
‘Infants and toddlers exposed to baby lotions, shampoos and powders carry high concentrations of hormone-altering chemicals in their bodies that might have reproductive effects, according to a new scientific study of babies born in Los Angeles and two other U.S. cities.
The research, to be published today in the medical journal Pediatrics, found that as the use of baby care products rose, so did the concentration of phthalates, which are used in many fragrances.
The lead scientist in the study, Dr. Sheela Sathyanarayana of the University of Washington’s Department of Pediatrics, said the findings suggested that many baby care products contain a variety of phthalates that enter children’s bodies through their skin.’
‘Officials say two officers were shot in Gwinnett County Friday afternoon. One officer is accused of trying to assault a woman and then opening fire on another officer who tried to stop it.
Investigators from the Gwinnett, Fulton and Duluth Police Departments are all involved and looking into the circumstances around what appears to be a gun battle between two police officers. [..]
Sheldt came back around to see if he could help. “Her car window was busted out and she was screaming at the top of her lungs. She said she just needed help and that the gentleman tried to rape her,” said Sheldt. [..]
“This male we do now know and confirm he is a Duluth PD officer. At the time he was wearing civilian clothing. Other than that, we do not have any other information to give,” said Cpl. Illana Spellman with the Gwinnett County Police Department.’
‘Vasectomies could be a thing of the past thanks to a remotecontrolled implant that can stop the flow of sperm.
The valve-like device can be opened and shut at the press of a button, using the same technology that locks a car using a key fob.
Scientists who invented the implant say it could be used as a form of male contraception.
Men who change their minds about having children would then simply point the remote handset at their testicles and press a button to open up the valve. [..]
Once the handset is pressed, it sends a coded radio signal through the skin to the implant, which contains a tiny antenna. The antenna picks up the signal and converts it into sound waves that “ripple” through the valve.
Since the valve itself is soft and flexible, the sound waves make it flap open – allowing sperm to pass through. As with cars, each device would have its own unique code so it could not be opened by anyone else.’
So, a month or two back BeastTube went offline. I linked to BeastTube.com a long time ago ’cause it was a strange and funny thing. Since BeastTube went down, I seem to have become some sort of internet authority on beastiality.. As far as the search engines are concerned, atleast.
Is it bad that the most popular thing on this entire website is about fucking dogs? 34,429 dog fuckers can’t be wrong. 🙂
Now all I need to do is convince the sexy dog fucking women that I’m more attractive than a St Bernard and I’m set. The non-sexy dog fucking women can keep their canines. See if I care. 🙂
‘A kinky sex escapade ended this week with the electrocution death of a Pennsylvania woman and the arrest of her husband for manslaughter. According to cops, Toby Taylor, 37, first claimed that his wife Kirsten was shocked by her hair dryer. But he then admitted that the couple was “into weird sexual behaviors,” according to a probable cause affidavit. Taylor then explained that he hooks clips to his wife’s nipples and “plugs the cord into a electric strip” and shocks her. On Wednesday evening, Taylor said, Kirsten removed her clothes, attached the clips, and shocked herself. He then picked up the electric strip and shocked her several more times, adding that he had placed a piece of electric tape over her mouth during the jolts. After the last shock, Kirsten, 29, “fell over on to her face.” Taylor initially thought his wife was joking, but quickly realized she was unconscious. He then dressed her in preparation for driving to the hospital, but instead called 911 when she stopped breathing. [..]’
‘David Levy is an expert on artificial intelligence and president of the International Computer Games Association. He’s one of those people who seem qualified to prognosticate on our technological future. His forecast: In a few short years nearly everyone will be having sex with robots.
I have no trouble believing that men will have sex with robots. If I had a robot I’d make it clean the bathroom and dust.
But Levy, 62, author of the recently released Love and Sex With Robots, says women will want some too. [..]’
‘A group of registered sex offenders and convicted felons who were told by the Department of Corrections to live under a bridge in Fort Lauderdale have been chased away by neighbors, police and the Department of Transportation.
On Friday night, police officers posted “No Trespassing” signs underneath the Oakland Park Boulevard Bridge over the intracoastal and told the former felons that if they didn’t leave they’d be arrested. The group packed up their things and headed west.
They set up a camp on the edge of the Everglades, far away from schools, parks and civilization. [..]
“Hopefully nobody’s going to complain about it and we can be left alone for a while,” said Mark DaCosta, an ex-convict who is not a sex offender but was ordered to live by the same rules as a condition of his parole.
The Department of Corrections had the men reporting to the bridge every night because they couldn’t find a place for them to live that wasn’t too close to school or park. State law prohibits sex offenders from living within 1,000 feet of anyplace children congregate. [..]’
‘A jilted boyfriend wreaked revenge on his former lover by showing his mates a secret film of her performing oral sex on a dog.
Kenneth Morris, 54, was left furious when his former girlfriend ditched him for someone else – and left him footing the rent bill.
When he found a DVD of her performing oral sex on a dog in an obscene homemade film, he decided to get his own back.
Morris copied the DVD then gave it to one unsuspecting friend saying: “Watch this – it’s gross.”
The shocked pal was so disgusted by what he saw he immediately alerted the RSPCA and police.’
‘The Rev. Ted Haggard emerged from three weeks of intensive counseling convinced he is “completely heterosexual” and told an oversight board that his sexual contact with men was limited to his accuser.
That is according to one of the disgraced pastor’s overseers, who on Monday revealed new details about where Haggard has been and where he is headed.
The Rev. Tim Ralph of Larkspur also said the four-man oversight board strongly urged Haggard to go into secular work instead of Christian ministry if Haggard and his wife follow through on plans to earn master’s degrees in psychology.’
‘Two in three Australian travelers are either members of the notorious Mile High Club or would like to be a member, a survey showed on Monday.
Asked if they would consider a mid-air sexual encounter, almost half of 1,110 people surveyed wanted an adventure, while 12 percent already had mile-high membership wings.
“People are obviously looking for more stimulating entertainment than a movie or a CD when traveling by plane,” Totaltravel.com global marketing manager Paul Fisher said.
A flight attendant for Australia’s flag carrier Qantas was sacked last year after claiming to have had a tryst with actor Ralph Fiennes in a business class lavatory during a flight from Darwin to Mumbai.’
‘A Canadian prostitute says she bared her cleavage and hiked up her skirt as she drove through the border at Blaine, where her “sure thing” always waved her through with a smile, even though her car was packed full of marijuana.
Minutes later, she’d fool around with the guard at a gas station down the road.
The border guard, Desmone Bastian, says it never happened.
“I’ve never failed to perform my duties,” Bastian told a federal jury Friday in Seattle. “I did my job with a lot of integrity, and a lot of pride.”
Bastian, 31, a U.S. citizen who lives in Surrey, B.C., worked as a U.S. immigration inspector for eight years before being charged in 2006 with taking a bribe — free sexual contact, and sometimes money — in exchange for turning a blind eye when the prostitute, Sandra Maas, would cross the border in his lane.’
‘Diseases carried to North America by Spanish explorers killed millions of the continent’s original inhabitants, but the trip cut both ways: scientists say Christopher Columbus took syphilis back to Europe.
In a study published in the January 14 issue of the journal Public Library of Science Neglected Tropical Diseases, Emory University geneticists studied 26 strains of treponema, the bacterial genus to which the infamous venereal disease belongs. After comparing their differences and evolutionary history, they decided that modern syphilis-causing strains most closely resembled those found in South America.
The findings give ammunition to adherents of the so-called Columbian theory of syphilis, which holds that the disease arrived in Europe with Columbus. Their opponents point to earlier European evidence, especially syphilitic lesions in skeletons from a 14th century English monastery, as absolving the notorious explorer of this particular scourge.’
‘A father sodomized his 18-year-old stepson to avenge the teenager’s alleged rape of the man’s 8-year-old daughter, police said.
The father, 32, turned himself into to authorities on Friday and was released from jail Saturday after posting a $17,500 bond. He faces a charge of aggravated sexual assault.
The stepson was arrested Jan. 2 and charged with suspicion of aggravated sexual assault. Police say the father caught him assaulting his daughter, and a subsequent examination at a hospital revealed the girl had been sodomized. [..]
“This is a very unique case, but we have a criminal justice system in place, and no one can take the law into their own hands,” Johnson said.’
‘A Superior man convicted of having sexual contact with a dead deer has been sentenced to another nine months in jail.
Bryan James Hathaway, 21, had his probation revoked last month for using alcohol and marijuana, lying to his probation agent, and having unapproved contact with a minor child and sexual relations with another adult. [..]
He was found guilty in April 2005 of felony mistreatment of an animal after he killed a horse with the intention of having sex with it. He was sentenced to 18 months in jail and two years of extended supervision on that charge as well as six years of probation for taking and driving a vehicle without the owner’s consent.
Hathaway had just been released from prison for the killing the horse when the deer incident happened. He is appealing his conviction on the deer charge.’
‘A 24-year-old American man is suing a Burger King restaurant – claiming he found a condom in his Whopper.
Van Miguel Hartless alleges he bit into the burger and found the unwrapped contraceptive under a piece of lettuce.
“My third bite into the burger, it was just a foreign taste,” he said. “It was a very sour, bitter sort of taste. It almost had a numbing sensation.
“As I went to bite down a little harder, I felt a rubber grind in between my teeth. I saw it half in my mouth, half hanging out.
“It was an immediate sick-to-my-stomach type of thing.”‘
