‘A condemned inmate wants to leave them laughing.
Patrick Knight is collecting jokes and will pick the funniest one for his last statement before he is set to die June 26 for shooting his neighbors, Walter and Mary Werner, to death almost 16 years ago outside Amarillo.
Randall County Sheriff Joel Richardson thinks the whole idea is insensitive. “This tells you a little bit about the guy’s character, anyway,” said Richardson, who was chief deputy at the time of the Werners’ killings and plans to witness Knight’s execution. [..]
Knight acknowledges there’s nothing funny about his execution. [..]
“I’m not trying to say I don’t care what’s going on. I’m about to die. I’m not going to sit here and whine and cry and moan and everything like that when I’m facing the punishment I’ve been given.
“I’m not asking for money. I’m not asking for pen pals or anything like that. All I’m asking for is jokes,” Knight said.’
‘No-rules culture – where teachers gave alcohol to teenagers and students turned up to class drunk and had sex on school camps – has been exposed at a private school in Melbourne’s wealthy eastern suburbs.
A Victorian tribunal has declared Alia College, in the leafy Melbourne suburb of Hawthorn, was a school with an “anarchistic nature” where “anything is allowed and no one is prepared to take responsibility”. [..]
“There was evidence that some teachers had become concerned that students were having sex together and drinking alcohol at school camps,” it said.
“There was other evidence that a teacher had complained that students were coming to afternoon classes drunk, as another teacher was supplying them with alcohol at school. Morgan’s evidence about the provision by the school of alcohol to students was extraordinary. He appears to have done nothing to discipline any teacher for providing alcohol to students. Alcohol was said to be available to students at school functions.”‘
‘A 26-year-old woman from Johnstown stands to face several charges for a spree Thursday involving a hammer, several broken windows and a small poodle.
Kathie Mercado started out her afternoon at her sister’s mother-in-law’s house in the 200 block of Tartan Drive in Johnstown.
She is said to have hurled the mother-in-law’s poodle at the window twice in an attempt to break the window, according to Johnstown Police Chief Reggie Mayes.
Mercado was unsuccessful, so she moved on to a hammer and began breaking several of the windows at the ground level and the basement. In the process, she suffered cuts to her arms and hands.
After breaking those windows, Mercado moved to a home across the street, where she broke out several of the windows there. No one was home at the time and Mayes said he doesn’t think Mercado knew the people who lived there.
“We are still not sure why she did it,” Mayes said. “She was very unstable.”‘
‘Council meetings in Reus could take a turn for the bizarre after the northern Spanish town voted in a councillor who promised to turn up dressed as Elvis Presley and wants to turn the square into a nudist pool.
Ariel Santamaria, a former postman, stood for a small independent party dressed in full Elvis regalia complete with sideburns and won enough votes last weekend to take a council seat.
It remains to be seen how other parties will take his proposals for Reus, a town of 100,000 people near Barcelona.
His platform included plans to paint the town hall pink, plant marijuana in the parks and give the town police global positioning systems to find people who might need a light while rolling a joint.’
‘Police in Bihar, one of India’s poorest states, are investigating claims that an eight-year-old boy has killed in cold blood three babies — including his eight-month-old sister and nine-month-old cousin.
The case came to light when a mother could not find her six-month-old daughter after leaving her asleep at a school in Musahari village. After a police search the child’s body was found buried nearby.
A few hours later, Amarjeet Sada, who police claim suffers from psychiatric disorders, apparently admitted that he had strangled her and led villagers to the spot where he had disposed of the body.’
‘A U.S. scientist and a small band of believers are planning a journey to the Canadian Arctic for what they call “the greatest geological expedition in history.”
Are they searching for Arctic oil reserves? Documenting evidence of climate change?
Not quite. They’re looking for a fog-shrouded hole in the Arctic Ocean that leads — they say — to the centre of the Earth, where an unknown civilization is lurking inside the hollow core of the planet.
This time next year, Kentucky based physicist and futurist Brooks Agnew hopes to board the commercially owned Russian icebreaker Yamal in the port of Murmansk, and to sail into the polar sea just beyond Canada’s Arctic islands. [..]
Mr. Agnew is the latest in a long line of people to peddle the nutty, yet persistent, theory that humans live on the surface of a hollow planet, in which two undiscovered openings, near the North and South poles, connect the outer Earth with an interior realm.’
‘When thinking of technologically advanced societies pushing the envelope on alternative energy, the Amish of rural Middle America are about the last group that come to mind. Yet the conservative Christian religious sect known for their plain dress and abhorrence for modern conveniences such as automobiles and electricity is embracing solar power.
In Holmes County, Ohio, home to the world’s largest Amish community, an estimated 80% of Amish families now have photovoltaic panels. They use solar power for basic electrical needs like home lighting, powering sewing machines, and charging batteries for lights on horse-drawn buggies. The Amish have gone solar partly for safety concerns – gas lamps are a fire hazard – and partly out of legal requirements – transportation codes require electric lights on horse-drawn buggies. Another reason they are embracing solar power is to avoid connecting to the electric grid, something they feel would endanger their efforts to remain separated from the rest of American society.’
‘The mayor has ordered the city’s firefighters to cut grass and trim shrubs while on duty to help the service department care for parks and other public areas.
“We have 54 firefighters, and they have a lot of downtime,” Mayor Eric Brewer said Thursday. “Instead of sitting around the station, they’ll be assisting us as we beautify the city.”
The firefighters’ union opposes the plan, arguing that noise from city lawnmowers and protective headphones worn by firefighters might prevent them from hearing their radios when an emergency call comes in.
“We’re firefighters, not service workers,” union vice president Rick Razek said. “It jeopardizes our citizens and will absolutely hinder our response time.”
The mayor’s plan calls for firefighters to travel in a fire truck to their assigned work site and to keep their firefighting gear with them so they can proceed directly to the scene of a fire if called.’
‘[..] Peter William Eaves contacted Last Word to tell us that, while the surface of a long-established sand/gravel drive (laid in the 1920s or 30s) was being improved, a very strange phenomenon was discovered.
Beneath the drive, at a depth of 25 centimetres, were least 13 live crabs (all being around 7 cm in width). See a video of the crustaceans, courtesy of Mark Leitch. One had a barnacle its back, so it seems that it must have at one time lived near the sea. The nearest sea water is an estuary around 4km, and the sea itself considerably further.
Peter has owned the land next to the drive for around 40 years and reports there have been no repairs or excavations there during that period. We’re hoping that there’s some one out there than can tell us what on earth is going on here.’
(984kB Flash video)
see it here »
‘Two people police say were hoping to avoid drinking and driving chose instead to head home on horseback, and ended up under arrest anyway.
Culpeper police officers Lonnie Myers and Tim Chilton heard a disturbance last Thursday around midnight and found Culpeper residents Eric Kyff and Lauren Allen arguing, Sgt. Scott Jenkins said.
Kyff and Allen, who appeared to be intoxicated, wanted to “travel home several miles by horseback to avoid drinking and driving,” Jenkins said. [..]
The two were charged with public intoxication and taken to the county jail. The horses were held across the street in front of the police department.’
‘A Russian governor has promised an SUV, a TV or a fridge to every woman in his region who gives birth on upcoming Constitution Day in an attempt to help beat a demographic crisis, his office said on Thursday.
The governor of the southern Ulyanovsk region even suggested giving people time off work nine months before the June 12 celebration to boost their chances, although he was not being entirely serious, his spokesperson said. [..]
Existing mothers who give birth to another child on June 12 will be rewarded with a Patriot sports utility vehicle from local UAZ factory she said.’
‘A German couple had to call out the fire brigade after tying each other up in chains – and then losing the key to the padlock.
Jochen Ranstett, 56 and his wife Maria, from the town of Weiden, dressed up in leathers and chained each other to their beds, but lost the key during the romp.
After hours of trying to free themselves they finally gave up and called for help on Jochen’s mobile phone.
He said: “It was so embarrassing. We just wanted to try something a bit different and we ended up with this.
“I even had to be taken to hospital because my wrists had swollen so much from trying to get out of the handcuffs.”‘
The tattoos on the face are a bit crazy. Others are kinda amusing. For example:
‘Director Mike Figgis spent longer at LAX airport than intended. He’d arrived in Los Angeles, along with half the acting and directing world, for what is known as ‘pilot season’, when the big studios try out new scripts, directors and actors in a two-week frenzy of auditions and career make-or-breaks. When Figgis was being grilled by airport immigration, he was asked the purpose of his visit. Unthinking and tired after a long flight, Mike replied: ‘I’m here to shoot a pilot.’ After five hours in an interrogation cell (yes, really), he finally made it into town.’
‘A Minnesota woman who was forced to the ground and handcuffed after a DirecTV dispatcher told police that an installer was being held hostage is suing.
“These are regular people. She’s a schoolteacher. … You shouldn’t have SWAT teams coming after someone if they know there’s not a crisis,” Marc Kurzman, a lawyer for Julie and Steven Pyle of Savage, Minn., told the St. Paul, Minn., Pioneer Press. The Pyles are seeking more than $75,000 in damages in a federal civil rights lawsuit against DirecTV, Savage police and Scott County enforcement dispatchers. [..]
Julie Pyle felt bad the job was taking the installers so long, so she baked them cookies, the lawsuit said.’
It’s one of those claw games, but instead of trying to grab stuffed toys, you’re after live lobsters.
‘A police marksman is under investigation after accidentally shooting a colleague in an extraordinary blunder.
The victim, a civilian employee, was seriously injured in the accident at a lecture room at the HQ of Thames Valley Police near Oxford.
He was apparently being shown the workings of a police Glock pistol when it went off, blasting him in the torso.
The victim, aged in his 50s, was left writhing in agony with blood pouring from the wound.
He underwent emergency surgery and his condition was described as serious but stable. [..]
One police source at the HQ said: “There are a lot of red faces about this. Why the hell was an experienced firearms officer demonstrating with a loaded pistol in an enclosed environment?
“Someone’s head will have to roll.”‘
‘A glittering bathtub made of gold worth nearly $1 million has been stolen from a resort hotel, an official said Wednesday. A worker at Kominato Hotel Mikazuki in Kamogawa, south of Tokyo, notified police that the fancy tub was missing from the hotel’s guest bathroom on the 10th floor, according to a local police official who only gave his surname, Ogawa.
The round tub, worth $987,000, is made of 18-karat gold and weighs 176 pounds. [..]
Someone apparently cut the chain attached to the door of a small section of the bathroom where the bathtub was placed, but not riveted, and made off with the tub, Ogawa said.
“We have no witness information and there are no video cameras,” he said. “We have no idea who took it,” the official said.’
‘A British artist ate a corgi dog, famous for being Queen Elizabeth II’s favourite breed, in protest after a group including her husband Prince Philip allegedly killed a fox earlier this year.
And Yoko Ono, the widow of ex-Beatle John Lennon, also had a taste of the “really, really disgusting” meat, which came from a corgi that died naturally at a breeding farm.
Mark McGowan, who has previously eaten a swan as part of a performance art show, tucked into the dog live on a London radio station. [..]
McGowan said the dog tasted “really, really disgusting,” and added that Ono “looked a bit strange” as she also tasted the dog.’
Followup to Artist with taste for publicity to eat corgi in protest over royal hunting.
Update: Now with video.
(3.5meg Windows media)
see it here »
‘Twenty-seven illegal immigrants spent a day at sea holding on to buoys around a giant tuna net as the Maltese and Libyan governments argued over who should save them from drowning.
They were picked up eventually by an Italian patrol vessel. The men – Africans of various nationalities – had paid for a passage from Libya to Europe in an open boat that foundered on Saturday.
Soon after their boat went down they were spotted by the Maltese tug Boudafel, which was towing a huge tuna-breeding plant towards Spain.
The men said the tug threw them a line and began towing them, ahead of the plant.’
‘An Israeli man wrestled a leopard to the ground after it entered his bedroom in a desert college and tried to make a meal of his pet cat.
“He jumped on the leopard and pinned him to the floor, then his wife called us so we could take it away,” Amram Zabari, a local park ranger who rushed to the scene, said today.
Arthur De Mosh, a 45-year-old tour guide at the college near Kibbutz Sde Boker in southern Israel, was awakened in the middle of the night by the sound of the leopard trying to eat his cat.
He freed the pet, which survived the ordeal, from the leopard’s clutches.’
Apparently the leopard got hurt in the tussle and required a CAT scan. No shit. 🙂
(4.1meg Windows media)
see it here »
‘Dallas police are searching for six masked gunmen who ransacked a home on Leon Street early Monday morning. Officials said the thieves busted into the home at about 5:30 a.m., tied up several of the residents and then began collecting the family’s belongings.
The thieves stole jewelry, three plasma televisions, a video game system and even two puppies.’
‘Chen Yan waves at a crowd of onlookers bemused at seeing China’s late helmsman, Mao Zedong, brought back to life by a middle-aged woman.
Chen, 51, from Mianyang, in China’s southwestern province of Sichuan, has been dressing up as Mao since she was discovered on a local TV show in 2005 impersonating another actor who had played Mao in movies.
“I was impersonating (the actor) when the beautician saw some similarities between me and Mao,” Chen said, as make-up artists fussed over her in a Mianyang hair salon.
The beautician saw a dollar to be made in Chen’s prominent cheekbones and imperious demeanor, and invited her for a make-over, she said.’
‘Police in Ontario are looking for a man who allegedly approached women and asked them to kick him in the groin.
Three women reported similar incidents to police over the past two months, and two of the women reported the suspect was on a bicycle. None of the women reported injuries.
Police Sgt. Cate Welsh said Monday the man’s request is not a crime, but they are concerned nonetheless.’
‘Police in Clackamas County are looking for a man they say locked three live pigs in his house in the hopes that they would trash the place. All because he was upset the home went into foreclosure. [..]
Lovett bought a home on SE Wildcat Mountain Drive in Eagle Creek a few years ago. In January the house went into foreclosure. Neighbors told police that Lovett was extremely distraught over the the situation.
Neighbor Pat Bradshaw was shocked when he returned home from a California trip to find the house in ruins.
“All the windows are broken, he obviously dumped some gravel on top of the roofline, he took his excavator and smashed it into the wall,” said Bradshaw.’
‘A man has allegedly taken a tourist bus and its 13 passengers on a joy-ride around inner Sydney.
Police say the 33-year-old Abbotsford man was walking past the casino on Pirrama Road in Pyrmont about 8:50am AEST, when he boarded the bus with the motor running.
They say the man, who was allegedly drunk, drove off when the driver was standing nearby awaiting the arrival of other passengers for a sightseeing tour.
He allegedly drove along several local streets before returning to the point of departure.
Police say he then ran from the vehicle and was chased by the driver and a number of other people. Police on patrol joined the chase.’
‘A driver was killed when a van carrying welding equipment exploded in a County Durham market town.
Windows in shops and homes were left shattered and wreckage was strewn across the centre of Wolsingham, near Bishop Auckland.
The 33-year-old local man, who worked as a welder near Durham, was in the van when the oxy-acetylene cylinders exploded.
Homes near the scene were evacuated after the incident on Saturday.
It is not yet known what caused the blast but Durham Police said there did not appear to be any suspicious circumstances.’
With photos of the scene./a>
