‘I am the leading NEE party senate candidate in Belgium. And due to popular demand, I will give 40,000 blowjobs to anyone who requests one on this page.
It started with our response to incredible claims that were made by other parties in Belgium, several parties promised new job opportunities in ridiculous amounts. We responded with a parody campaign for which I posed naked and promised our voters 400.000 new jobs.
This national campaign resulted in international media attention and I received hundreds of e-mails asking for 400,000 blowjobs. If this would get us even more media attention, I’m willing to give 40,000 blowjobs to make the statement.
According to my planning this would take me 500 days to tour around the world, visiting all the ones who signed up for a blowjob on this page, giving 80 blowjobs per day. So the offer is limited, sign up while you still can.’
‘A student told yesterday how he lost his mobile phone after being “mugged” by an angry flock of geese.
Sam Rozati, 23, was attacked by four birds as he walked past their nest.
They pecked so hard he dropped his phone.
Then one bird grabbed the mobile and disappeared into the undergrowth in Colchester, Essex.
Final-year law student Sam said: “They flew over and started biting my hand until I dropped the phone. I had to move away for my safety.”
His attempts to find his phone have failed — as it is set on silent.’
‘Four of the five people arrested after a Mother’s Day brawl that shut down a crowded buffet-style restaurant yesterday afternoon entered not guilty pleas to assault and rioting charges in Toledo Municipal Court today. [..]
Authorities said Christine Lewandowski, 56, repeatedly asked Ms. Harris to quiet her 1-year-old child, who was sitting in a high chair screaming. When the infant continued to scream, Ms. Lewandowski shouted at the baby to “shut up,” police said. Ms. Harris responded by punching the woman, igniting the brawl that involved as many as 15 people in the restaurant, police said.
About 10 Toledo Police units responded to the melee with an estimated 15 people involved inside the restaurant. Five people were arrested and six people were hurt, including four who were taken to hospitals for minor injuries.’
‘Wildlife officials in Florida are expected to announce Monday that they want to make it illegal for developers to entomb tortoises.
Recently, Local 6 reported how it is legal to bury tortoises alive as long as construction crews have the proper permit. [..]
“For a price tag of a quarter million dollars, the Expressway Authority legally began to pave over the only openings to the tortoises’ burrows — essentially burying them alive,” Diaz said.
“They are immobilized and can’t get out of their burrow,” a wildlife official said. “It can take up to a year to die one biologist has told us. It can take that long before they die of suffocation, dehydration or starvation.” [..]
“Just because you can bury alive gopher tortoises, doesn’t necessarily mean you should,” a commissioner told Local 6 News.’
‘WENN is reporting that Mr. T, Dick Benedict, and Dwight Schultz will appear on British export ‘Most Haunted’ in a ghost-chasing attempt to contact the soul of George Peppard. Honestly, Mr. T., are you that desperate to get back on the air? This grizzly train-wreck makes ‘Celebrity Boxing’ seem classy.
Possibly the funniest/saddest portion of this pathetic cash grab is the extremely documented and extremely tumultuous relationship between George Peppard and Mr. T. Peppard, a surly and cantankerous old man, hated Mr. T. with the passion and vigor known only to Satan and Pastor Fred Phelps. I wonder how he feels about his over-the-hill arch nemesis using his soul for monetary reward.’
‘Women in Myanmar not only have to watch out for pickpockets when they’re commuting, shopping or walking down the street, but also hair thieves, a weekly journal reported Sunday.
Long-haired women in crowded areas have fallen victim to surreptitious hair snippers who steal their hair to sell, the Burmese-language 24/7 news journal reported. [..]
Many women in Myanmar have waist- or knee-length hair which they wear in a ponytail, making it easy for thieves to snip off the hair and sell it as extensions. [..]
The report said the price of hair has increased as demand for hair as an export or raw material rises. A viss (1.6 kilograms; 3.5 pounds) of hair is worth between 400,000 kyats ($320) and 500,000 kyats ($400), it said.’
‘*Anony-X has joined #mac*
sometimes when im masturbating i look at pictures of dogs. not dogs having sex or anything, just dogs. like chasing frisbees and shit. just the way they move and their bark gets me so hot. i can fit 3 more fingers in my pussy when theres a dog around.
mac users, i swear to god…
*Anony-X has left #mac*’
‘A Mexican physician helped drug dealers avoid detection by replacing their fingerprints with skin from the bottom of their feet, a federal prosecutor said Friday.
The doctor, Jose L. Covarrubias, was arrested Wednesday in Arizona as he attempted to cross the U.S.-Mexico border a few hours after a grand jury in Harrisburg indicted him in connection with a marijuana dealing ring.
The indictment says Covarrubias, 49, of Nogales, Ariz., and Nogales, Mexico, surgically removed the fingerprints of co-defendant Marc George, 42, of Jamaica.
“We heard those stories, but we didn’t believe them when we heard them during the course of the investigation,” said Assistant U.S. Attorney William Behe in Harrisburg. “We caught Marc George and we all became believers.”’
‘A Vancouver man was sentenced Friday to 13 months in prison for pretending to be mentally retarded in order to claim disability benefits.
Pete J. Costello, 28, pleaded guilty in February to conspiracy to defraud the government and to Social Security fraud. He began receiving disability benefits when he was 8. He was ordered to repay the $59,226 he has received since turning 18.
Costello, who cannot read or write, dictated a letter to his public defender that was submitted to the judge before sentencing and filed in court.
“I know that it was wrong to ‘act like a child’ in the Social Security office when that is not how I really am,” the letter said. “I feel very bad about this and want to do everything I can to pay this money back.”‘
Followup to Man Accused of Faking Retardation.
‘No film comes to Seattle with greater baggage this year than “Zoo,” Robinson Devor’s strangely elegant examination of the infamous incident outside Enumclaw in 2005.
Surely you know at least the general details: A Seattle man died of internal injuries after having sex with a horse at a rural farm, which was later found to be the site of regular gatherings of zoophiles, or, as they call themselves in this film, zoos. The incident, news of which spread like fire on a dry field (it was this newspaper’s most-read online story that year), had consequences: numerous jokes and snickers, and a quickly passed antibestiality law in this state.
If everyone who read or e-mailed news of the story goes to see “Zoo” in theaters, it would be a box-office hit. But that seems unlikely for this unique and very odd film, a semidocumentary that uses voice-over and dreamy, dimly lit re-enactments — and which seems crafted for an audience who may not exist.’
Followup to Mr Hands.
He doesn’t seem to be in too much pain either..
(3.7meg Windows media)
see it here »
‘A “disoriented” Magellanic penguin swam ashore on Peru’s coast, some 3,100 miles north of his home in the frigid waters of southern Chile.
The penguin got lost while looking for food, Peru’s National Resource Institute was quoted as saying in El Comercio newspaper Saturday.
“It seems he was disoriented and got lost in the sea due to the different ocean currents,” said Wilder Canales, who heads the National Paracas Reserve in southern Peru. “In his endless search for food, he casually climbed up on our shores, something that has never happened before.”‘
‘It happened last Friday when drivers on the motorway in Ferrol were surprised to see a disabled man travelling along the road in his motorised bed.
The paper says that 42 year old Antonio Navarro, who is 95% disabled, and who drives and controls his motorised bed with his mouth, had got drunk and was intending to visit ‘Jade’ a local whorehouse, but took a wrong turning off a local roundabout.
Police finally stopped him at 9pm after he had travelled some 10 kilometres along the motorway. Once he had taken the wrong exit he decided to continue along the road so as not to put other drivers in danger. Antonio told the paper that signs should be improved on the roundabout and across the town.’
‘A woman who had sex with her boyfriend’s brother in her darkened room late one night claimed she was raped, saying the man tricked her into the act by impersonating her boyfriend.
But Massachusetts’ Supreme Judicial Court disagreed Thursday, citing a half-century-old state law that says it is not rape when consent to sexual intercourse is obtained through fraud or deceit. [..]
The woman told police she was asleep alone in the bedroom she shared with her longtime boyfriend when a man came in, climbed into bed and had sexual intercourse with her, according to the SJC decision.’
‘The job posting was a head-scratcher: “We seek a newspaper journalist based in India to report on the city government and political scene of Pasadena, California, USA.”
A reporter half a world away covering local street-light contracts and sewer repairs? A reporter who has never gotten closer to Pasadena than the telecast of the Rose Bowl parade?
Outsourcing first claimed manufacturing jobs, then hit services such as technical support, airline reservations and tax preparation. Now comes the next frontier: local journalism.’
‘Riot police have been sent to a remote mountainous village in Papua New Guinea after a gun battle between police and members of a cult involved in human sacrifices, local media reported Wednesday. [..]
Black magic is widespread in Papua New Guinea, a jungle-clad, mountainous South Pacific island nation where some villages only encountered Western civilization in the 1930s. Women suspected of being witches are often hanged or burnt to death. [..]
Morobe’s chief police inspector, Augustine Wampe, said suspicions of cult activity started in April when a child was kidnapped and police were attacked trying to rescue the child. [..]
“Gunfire was exchanged and one of the policemen was injured in the leg with an arrow. Another policeman fell over a cliff.”
Police reinforcements were attacked and forced to retreat. The villagers then went on a rampage killing one man and chopping up his body and burning houses, Wampe said.’
‘This is a really funny prank call to a public access Christian TV show where a guy named TDawg reveals he just read the bible for the first time and loved it.’
(9.4meg Windows media)
see it here »
‘An 11-year-old student and two parents at Evergreen Elementary School got a scare this morning when a squirrel ran into the building and attacked them, drawing blood in two cases, school officials said.
All three victims were treated for bites and scratches at a local hospital, said district spokesman Will Ector, and all are undergoing rabies treatment as a precaution. They also were administered antibiotics, he said.
The attack occurred as a classroom of first-graders was preparing to go on a field trip, said Ector. Two parent chaperones were standing in the room when a squirrel ran in and then up the leg of one of the parents, he said. [..]
Finally, the squirrel jumped off the mom, did a loop around the classroom, then ran out the door and jumped on an 11-year-old student walking by. She was bitten on the arm as well, Ector said.’
‘A 48-year-old man has died while dancing, trying to outdo a rival with an acrobatic move while “battle dancing,” police said.
Robert Stitt and his rival were competing in a parking lot on Main Street Monday night when he tried a forward flip and landed on his head.
“It was just two guys dancing. Everybody was laughing,” Stitt’s friend John Boxley said.
Boxley said James Brown was on the radio and Stitt wanted to outdo a rival dancer, who had flipped in the air.
Police said the victim went into cardiac arrest and was pronounced dead a short time at a local hospital.’
Looks like he got served.
‘Climbing into a giraffe’s cage at the local zoo seemed a good idea after a few drinks. But the prank went wrong when the 1.3-ton animal flew into a rage and attacked the three student trespassers at a zoo in Lithuania on Monday night.
Ruta Greiciute, a 22-year-old student at Kaunas Technology University, was hospitalized with a broken collar bone and nose after the 9-year-old male giraffe, named Solut, attacked her. [..]
“This was a very silly thing they did. The scared giraffe could have stomped her to death,” Kaunas Zoo spokeswoman Angele Grebliauskaite said.’
This tortoise doesn’t like cats invading it’s territory, apparently. Determined little bastard. 🙂
(5.4meg Flash video)
see it here »
‘Local artist and drag performer Jojo Baby thinks he’s fairly open minded, but what he saw inside a Wicker Park apartment this week blew him away.
Baby was at eBay seller Brian Sloan’s apartment to buy vintage mannequins for his studio, where he creates dolls and puppets.
But instead, Baby said he saw human skulls boiling inside Sloan’s apartment. [..]
Sloan has a law degree but makes a living selling various items on the Internet — including a batch of vintage mannequins that were on the steps of his back porch. Sloan said the skulls are imported legally, but police still confiscated them.’
‘Police are seeking the vandals who spray-painted the words “Go Home” on a Samoan Shepherd who enjoys wandering, unleashed, though its Idaho neighborhood. As seen in the below evidence photos, the dog, named Wiley, had one word painted on each side of his body. According to a Bannock County Sheriff’s Department report, Wiley’s owner called cops late last month after discovering her dog “had been spray painted with gang graffiti.” Actually, it appears that the ambulating animal wasn’t tagged by an Idaho Blood or Crip, but rather by some annoyed neighbor or juvenile delinquent. A sheriff’s deputy advised Wiley’s owner, Marilyn Hardenbrook, to keep the dog in her own yard (and under her control while the pooch was “out and about”).’
‘James Dowdy has admitted his hankering for women’s hosiery has been his undoing, earning him three stints in prison and repeated scoldings from judges over the years. So police say it’s no surprise the 36-year-old man is knee deep in trouble again because of his lust for leggings.
St. Clair County prosecutors charged Dowdy on Friday with felony attempted burglary for his uninvited visit to a parked car and with misdemeanor disorderly conduct charge for dropping stolen socks “in an unreasonable manner, as to alarm and disturb.”
“He’s obviously got some problems,” Belleville police Capt. Don Sax said Monday of Dowdy, who remains jailed on $50,000 bond. “We can’t crawl into his head and come up with a particular answer to why he does this. We have to assume it’s part of his sexual deviation.” [..]
“To the best of our knowledge, he’s just after the socks,” Sax said. “Generally, they are almost always female socks.”‘
‘These guys were not exactly Snap, Crackle and Pop.
What began as a faint popping in a 9-year-old boy’s ear — “like Rice Krispies” — ended up as an earache, and the doctor’s diagnosis was that a pair of spiders made a home in the ear.
“They were walking on my eardrums,” Jesse Courtney said. [..]
Dr. David Irvine said it looked like the boy had something in his ear when he examined him.
When he irrigated the ear, the first spider came out, dead. The other spider took a second dousing before it emerged, still alive. Both were about the size of a pencil eraser.’
‘A Brazilian brewery has been ordered to pay $49,000 (£24,570) to an alcoholic beer taster who claims the company failed to prevent his condition.
The man, who has not been named, said the company, Ambev, did not provide him with adequate health care to stop him from developing alcoholism.
He said that for more than a decade he drank around one and a half litres of beer each day.
But Ambev says that the employee was an alcoholic before he took the job. [..]
But Judge Jose Felipe Ledur said the company was still negligent because an alcoholic should have never been employed as a beer taster.’
Yet again some Japanese TV show has left me amused and confused.
I think I need to add a “why?” category. [shrug] 🙂
(26meg Flash video)
see it here »
’03/29/2005 at 03:25:55
I go into 2 player mode in fighting games on my gamecube and put one controller down my pants and beat the shit out of the other guy with the other controller to make the one down my pants vibrate. I always end up cumming all over the thing and I have to clean it. It’s a hassle but it’s worth it…’
‘Rose, the goat that found international celebrity last year after being forced into marriage with a Sudanese man, has died after accidentally swallowing a plastic bag.
The town of Juba in southern Sudan, if not in mourning, at least has the satisfaction of having had the world in stitches as the source of one of the internet’s best-read news items. [..]
Tragedy struck last month when Rose swallowed a plastic bag as she scavenged for food scraps on the streets of Juba.
She left a male kid – goat, not human – and a grieving widower. It is not known whether she was cremated or turned into curry.’
Followup to Sudan man forced to ‘marry’ goat.
