moonbuggy

Hooray for crushing beer cans with breasts.

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‘A man splashed lighter fluid on a stranger who fought him off with a metal cane, then used the lighter to set two women on fire, police and witnesses said. [..]

The assault in downtown Seattle apparently began when the attacker ran up behind Gus Jones, 82, and dumped lighter fluid down his back at lunchtime Wednesday.

Jones felt someone grab his shoulder, smelled the fumes and hollered. Then, “I had to rap them with my cane,” he told The Seattle Times. Jones, recovering from a broken hip, fell to the pavement but was not set afire.

“I cussed him out,” Jones told the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. “I bent my cane.”‘

‘A construction crew made a shocking discovery Wednesday, finding a corpse bound in duct tape stored inside a freezer at a south Medford home.

Medford detectives arrested 58-year-old Paul Henry Mahanna, who lives at the house on Fiona Lane. He was charged with first-degree abuse of corpse and remained lodged in the Jackson County Jail late Thursday on $500,000 bail.

“We may be adding some more charges against him,” Medford police Lt. Tim George said. “We consider this a very suspicious death.” [..]

“At first we thought it might be a game animal,” said Hanlin. “It was wrapped in so much duct tape that looked like a mummy.”‘

‘More than 200 years since the first boatload of English convicts reached our shores, overcrowded British jails are once again considering sending their prisoners Down Under.

In a desperate move to combat what has become a national crisis, Prime Minister Tony Blair announced he will do anything possible — including sending convicts overseas — to relieve pressure on the country’s “full to bursting” prison system.

The Daily Telegraph reports that Australia’s High Commissioner to the UK Richard Alston acknowledged the prospect of accepting UK prisoners at a recent function.’

‘A brewery here has succeeded in producing a low-malt beer with milk, after the drink was suggested as a product that would help use up surplus milk.

The drink, called “Bilk” will go on sale on Feb. 1. It reportedly has a fruity flavor that its brewers hope will be popular among women.

The idea for the drink was conceived after dairy firms threw out a huge amount of surplus milk in March last year. The son of the manager of a liquor store in Nakashibetsu, whose main industry is dairy farming, suggested the idea of producing the milk beer to local brewery Abashiri Beer.’

In parts of India, for one day a year women are allowed to beat men with sticks.

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‘How far would you drive for a gallon of “terror-free” gas?

Consumers in Omaha, Neb., will be able to answer that question soon as the nation’s first “terror-free” gas station is scheduled to open there Thursday. [..]

The Terror-Free Oil Initiative, a group that says it is dedicated to encouraging Americans to buy gasoline that originates from countries that do not export or finance terrorism, is the driving force behind the idea.’

‘Prime Minister Stephen Harper once called the Kyoto accord a “socialist scheme” designed to suck money out of rich countries, according to a letter leaked Tuesday by the Liberals.

The letter, posted on the federal Liberal party website, was apparently written by Harper in 2002, when he was leader of the now-defunct Canadian Alliance party. [..]

“We’re gearing up now for the biggest struggle our party has faced since you entrusted me with the leadership,” Harper’s letter says.

“I’m talking about the ‘battle of Kyoto’ — our campaign to block the job-killing, economy-destroying Kyoto accord.”‘

`According to authorities, the suspect entered the store at about 10:30 p.m. dressed in skin-tight black clothing and armed with a samurai-style sword.

The suspect stood in line before he demanded the cashier turn over the money in the register, reportedly waving his sword in the air.

The cashier and other customers inside thought the suspect was pulling a prank. The cashier refused to give the suspect the money and he fled the scene.

Richfield Police were called. They searched the neighborhood for the suspect but he managed to slip away into the night in the manner of a ninja.’

‘A boy of 12 is believed to have become the world’s youngest sex change patient after convincing doctors that he wanted to live the rest of his life as a female.

The boy – originally called Tim, but now known as Kim – has started to receive hormone treatment, in preparation for the operation that will eventually complete the sex change.

Tim was diagnosed as a transsexual two years ago, when doctors and psychiatrists concluded that his claims to be “in the wrong body” were so deeply felt that he required treatment. The therapy involves artificially arresting male puberty, with a series of potent hormone injections before the administration of female hormones to initiate the development of features such as breasts.’

‘A Screaming naked woman was found by police beating her husband in the front of a van.Officers were alerted to screams coming from a vehicle in Brynawelon, and discovered Mary Nurse stripped bare hitting her partner.

She then ran starkers into the street when officers tried to arrest her.

The 40-year-old was given a conditional discharge after she admitted causing harassment, alarm and distress when she appeared before Llanelli magistrates.’

‘Oxana lived from the age of three to eight with a pack of dogs that protected and cared for her. The remarkable footage showed her crawling on all fours, eating, drinking and even barking like a dog. Mindshock has followed her progress since then, as she struggles with the complexity of language and has slowly moved from the community of dogs back towards human society.’

The question at the end seems to suggest the narrator doesn’t consider her to be human. 🙂

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This is a game where you have to forage for food and avoid the militia who want to kill you. Not that easy.

‘A woman in Brazil has given birth to a “giant baby” weighing 17lb (8kg) – twice the size of an average newborn.

Ademilton dos Santos is the heaviest boy ever born in Brazil, says the Brazilian Gynaecological Association. [..]

Mrs Santos, 38, has four other children – aged nine, 12, 14, and 15 – who were all of normal weight when they were born.

“She knew Ademilton would be a big baby, but not this big,” Ms Leal said. “She, her husband and the hospital staff were caught by surprise.” ‘

‘A 22-year-old woman sought medical care for a lesion in the plantar region of her left foot, a well-formed nipple surrounded by areola and hair. Microscopic examination of the dermis showed hair follicles, eccrine glands, and sebaceous glands. Fat tissue was noted at the base of the lesion. Clinical and histopathologic findings were consistent with the diagnosis of supernumerary breast tissue, also known as pseudomamma. To our knowledge, this is the first report of supernumerary breast tissue on the foot.’

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`Police have finally confirmed that the sex offender dubbed the “Pocket Man” is a serious serial sex criminal that has assaulted at least 120 young boys across the country. [..]

Internally, police consider the investigation a scandal, with only those directly involved knowing how serious the assaults have been. Olafsen said many have envisaged the Pocket Man as a pathetic flasher.

“Unfortunately many police and others have not understood how serious this case is. The attacks have been monstrous sexual assaults,” Olafsen said.

Now police say they will mobilize all necessary resources to arrest the man whose nickname comes from his ploy of charming young boys and then asking them to help him find something in his pocket. [..]’

`Sales of condoms in convenience stores and super markets have plummeted since the new year began. Industry insiders attribute the plunge to myths about the year of golden pigs, which comes every 600 years. Fortune tellers say that babies born in the year of golden pigs will lead wealthy and prosperous lives, and, fortune tellers say, the year 2007 is one of those years. The drop in condom sales could be a sign that couples are trying to conceive a child to be born in this lucky year. If that’s the case, then condom sales should stay sluggish until April, since babies conceived until as late as March will arrive before Feb 7 next year, when the year of golden pigs ends.’

`The sexed robots are autonomous wheeled platforms fitted with nylon genital organs, respectively male and female. They are programmed to explore their environment, occasionally entering a “in heat” mode, where they will try and locate a partner in the same state. If a partner is located, the robots will attempt to mate.’

`A local man was shocked last week to find a bag of frozen mice with his to-go meal from Pizzas 2 U, a fast-food restaurant in Hampstead. [..]

The baby mice were sealed in a knotted plastic bag and never touched the salad or sandwich, which were also covered, according to a report by the Pender County Health Department.

After talking to his employees, Woody Sullivan said he suspects one of them bought the mice at a pet shop to feed a pet reptile, though he is unclear how the dead animals ended up with the order.’

`he partially mummified body of a baby, wrapped in 1950s newspapers, was found Monday by a woman going through her deceased parents’ belongings in a southeast Florida storage facility, according to police.

“It was a baby boy, partially mummified,” said Delray Beach police spokesman Jeff Messer. “The woman was pretty upset when she found it. You could make out the features pretty clearly.” The child had hair, he said.

The body was in a small suitcase, which was placed inside a larger suitcase, said Messer, who viewed the remains.

“It was spooky,” Messer said.’

`Here I would like to show, although I do not provide any warranty and can not give any guarantee, that isolating stem cells from the placenta is not more difficult than making a steak, and with proper preparation, investment and timing you can do it even at home or in a rent lab. The process is ethically non-controversial since the placenta is usually discarded after birth. Today, stem cell therapy is just a promising possibility, but in the not so distant future, self-aware citizens may manage their own stem cells, grow them in the garage, and store them in the fridge. If so, it could be a form of autonomous medical self-insurance. We are at the dawn of the bioDIY movement backed by open source science for anybody.’

`The city likely will pay $35,000 to settle the claim of a girl forced to perform jumping jacks topless in front of a police officer to avoid arrest.

The Pensacola City Council’s finance committee on Monday forwarded the proposed settlement to a Thursday vote before the full council.

The victim’s attorney, Robert Bleach, said after the meeting that his client will be “glad to put this ugly incident behind her” and will use the money for her college education.

“She certainly didn’t want to go through a trial and relive the whole thing all over again,” he said.’

Never again worry about your dog shitting whilst you’re walking it.

Now all you need to do is worry about what to do with the bags of poo you’ve been collecting. 🙂

`A Buffalo teenager who said he killed and slowly dismembered his mother over several days at the urging of the 50-year-old man who was sexually abusing him was sentenced Monday to six months in jail.

Angel Rosa, 16, pleaded guilty in June to a first-degree manslaughter in the death of Madeline Irene, 46, whose head and hands were found encased in cement in a garbage can at the 50-year-old’s home after other body parts were found floating in a nearby river.

Psychiatrists for both the prosecution and the defense determined Rosa was emotionally under the control of Edwin Gimenez, a convicted child molester who was his co-defendant in the homicide.’

`Des Moines police this morning used a striking instrument and pepper spray on a woman they later learned was pregnant in an effort to stop her from eating what they believed was marijuana.

Barbara Brown, 20, of Des Moines, was taken to Broadlawns Medical Center to be treated for what police believed was marijuana consumption.

Police said they were trying to preserve evidence, but Brown managed to chew and swallow all of it.

She was charged with public consumption. The charge refers to the beer she allegedly was drinking, not the marijuana police believe she had eaten.’

`A Chinese thief has returned a mobile phone and thousands of yuan he stole from a woman after she sent him 21 touching text messages, Xinhua news agency said on Monday. [..]

She gave up hope of seeing her possessions again after sending 21 text messages without a reply.

But on her way out on Sunday morning, she stumbled over a package that had been left in her courtyard only to discover it was her stolen bag. Nothing had been taken.

“Dear Pan: I’m sorry. I made a mistake. Please forgive me,” a letter inside said.

“You are so tolerant even though I stole from you. I’ll correct my ways and be an upright person.”‘

`A teenager has been accused of being a deadbeat dad by a government agency that claims he fathered a child – when he was three years old.

Tyler Holden, 15, and his family were shocked when he received a letter of demand from the state agency that chases child support from fathers.

The Victorian Legal Aid’s Child Support Legal Service said it was pursuing child support for a son it claimed Tyler fathered on July 27, 1994.

The letter says if the high school student refuses to sign a statutory declaration confirming he is the child’s father, he must pay $550 for a DNA test to prove otherwise.’