‘Passengers on a German train mistook a Halloween reveller dressed up as a gore-covered zombie for a murder victim and called the police.
The 24-year-old man fell into a drunken slumber on his way home from a Halloween party in Hamburg, police in the northern town of Bad Segeberg said on Monday.
Believing his hands and face were smeared with blood, passengers alerted police after getting no response from him. [..]
“Bad Segeberg is in a rural area and Halloween isn’t very well known there,” police spokeswoman Silke Tobies said. “So people weren’t expecting anyone to be dressed up in the train.”‘
‘English: Oh my god! There’s an axe in my head.
Bosnian: boje moj! sjekira mi je u glavi.
French: Mon dieu! Il y a une hache dans ma tete.
Visigothic: Meina guth, Ikgastaldan aqizi-wunds meina haubida
Swedish: Ah, Herregud! Jag har en yxa i huvudet!
Dutch: O, mijn God! Er zit een bijl in mijn hoofd.
Latin: Deus Meus! Securis in capite meo est. [..]’
‘7. Not allowed to add “In accordance with the prophesy” to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me. [..]
23. Must never ask anyone who outranks me if they’ve been smoking crack. [..]
29. The Irish MPs are not after “Me frosted lucky charms”. [..]
33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.
34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody. [..]
45. I am not allowed to “Go to Bragg boulevard and shake daddy’s little money maker for twenties stuffed into my undies”. [..]
60. “The Giant Space Ants” are not at the top of my chain of command. [..]
77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them “You don’t need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for.” [..]
79. I am neither the king nor queen of cheese. [..]’
I like the wedgie-proof underwear. People should wear things like that, it would be hilarious. 🙂
‘The human race will one day split into two separate species, an attractive, intelligent ruling elite and an underclass of dim-witted, ugly goblin-like creatures, according to a top scientist.
100,000 years into the future, sexual selection will mean that two distinct breeds of human will have developed.
The alarming prediction comes from evolutionary theorist Oliver Curry from the London School of Economics, who says that the human race will have reached its physical peak by the year 3000.
These humans will be between 6ft and 7ft tall and they will live up to 120 years.
Men will have symmetrical facial features, deeper voices and bigger penises.’
‘The colonel was furious. “Can you believe it? They actually drew their weapons on U.S. soldiers.” He was describing a 2006 car accident, in which an SUV full of Blackwater operatives had crashed into a U.S. ArmyHumvee on a street in Baghdad’s Green Zone. The colonel, who was involved in a follow-up investigation and spoke on the condition he not be named, said the Blackwater guards disarmed the U.S. Army soldiers and made them lie on the ground at gunpoint until they could disentangle the SUV. His account was confirmed by the head of another private security company. Asked to address this and other allegations in this story, Blackwater spokesperson Anne Tyrrell said, “This type of gossip has led to many soap operas in the press.”‘
‘An 82-year-old Argentine woman who attracted media attention last month when she married a 24-year-old man has died as a result of heart problems.
Adelfa Volpes was admitted to hospital soon after she and her new husband, Reinaldo Waveqche, returned from their honeymoon in Brazil.
She died in a sanatorium in Santa Fe, the city where the couple were married.’
Followup to Man, 24, weds 82-year-old bride.
‘A kamikaze squirrel fell from the sky and detonated a Bayonne woman’s car yesterday, police said today.
Lindsey Millar, 23, and her brother, Tony, 22, were both home Wednesday at about 12:45 p.m. when Lindsey’s car suddenly started burning outside their 42nd Street home.
Tony Millar said firefighters told them it was the work of a buck-toothed saboteur that had been gnawing on overhead power lines connected to a transformer directly above the 2006 Toyota Camry.
“The squirrel chewed through the wire, was set on fire, fell down directly to where the car was,” Tony Millar said. “The squirrel, on fire, slid into the engine compartment and blew up the car.’
‘The National Defence Force is probing whether a software glitch led to an antiaircraft cannon malfunction that killed nine soldiers and seriously injured 14 others during a shooting exercise on Friday. [..]
Mangope told The Star that it “is assumed that there was a mechanical problem, which led to the accident. The gun, which was fully loaded, did not fire as it normally should have,” he said. “It appears as though the gun, which is computerised, jammed before there was some sort of explosion, and then it opened fire uncontrollably, killing and injuring the soldiers.” [..]
During the shooting trials at Armscor’s Alkantpan shooting range, “I personally saw a gun go out of control several times,” Young says. “They made a temporary rig consisting of two steel poles on each side of the weapon, with a rope in between to keep the weapon from swinging. The weapon eventually knocked the polls down.”‘
‘A burglar in Montgomery chose the wrong family to mess with, literally. Adrian and Tiffany McKinnon returned home on Tuesday after a week away to find that thieves had emptied almost everything the family of five owned, Tiffany McKinnon said through tears.
“Tears just rolled down my face as I walked in and saw everything gone and piles of trash all over my home,” she said. [..]
“My husband Adrian caught the thief red-handed in our home,” she said. “And what is even crazier, the man even had my husband’s hat sitting right on his head.”
Adrian McKinnon held the suspect, 33-year-old Tajuan Bullock, at gunpoint and told him to sit on the floor until he decided what to do.
“We made this man clean up all the mess he made, piles of stuff, he had thrown out of my drawers and cabinets onto the floor,” Tiffany McKinnon said.’
‘You might think this big shaggy Newfoundland dog, named Jackson, read the firefghter’s survival manual. The dog did everything right when a fire destroyed its Farmingville, Long Island home on Monday.
Firefighters say they found Jackson in the bathtub with his nose pressed against the drain getting fresh air.
The dog’s owner, Debbie Credidio, said that Jackson likes to lay in the bathroom to escape the heat. Going to his favorite spot may have saved the 3-year-old Newfoundland’s life.
Firefighters Vince Egbert and Edgar Trejo pulled aside a shower curtain and found the dog “actually sucking air out of the drainpipe, which is an old-school thing that a fireman would do.”’
Apparently I am worth exactly $1,925,104.
I wonder what I’ll be worth when I get around to getting back into shape a bit. Heh. 🙂
‘A dentist accused of fondling the breasts of 27 female patients is trying to keep his dental license by arguing that chest massages are an appropriate procedure in certain cases. Mark Anderson’s lawyer says dental journals discuss the need to massage the pectoral muscles to treat a common jaw problem.
Police say Anderson said during recorded phone calls that he routinely massaged patients’ chests to treat temporo-mandibular joint disorder, or TMJ, which causes neck and head pain. [..]
Zaro said Anderson, 48, of Woodland, needs to keep seeing patients so he can feed his seven children and pay for his defense.
The judge made no immediate decision.’
I’ve added another thousand or so pictures to the image site in the past few days. So, hooray for using round numbers as arbitrary milestones, I s’pose. 🙂
As well as that I’ve now added a NSFW filter, so dodgy pictures are not displayed by default unless you’ve allowed them. There’s now also some buttons to let people select an image size, so that the wider images are shrunk down to an appropriate size for everyone’s screen.
And there’s a search box which I’ve stuck on. It’s primarily useful for me in doing some maintenance of the images, but it may be useful for others too. We’ll see..
I still haven’t done much about a ratings system. But it’s still vaguely on it’s way. 🙂
I’ve been fairly entertained whilst looking for images for the site, so I’m hoping I’ve managed to select a good number of amusing images that will keep other people entertained too. Seems to be fairly popular so far, so good stuff. 🙂
‘Two Army colonels are accused of switching identities to try to fool a paternity test, authorities said.
Bruce S. Adkins, 44, is accused of trying to take a paternity test in the place of Scott M. Carlson, 51. Both were charged Thursday with tampering with public records, tampering with evidence, forgery, theft and obstruction of justice, District Attorney David Freed said. [..]
Both men had been members of the class of 2007 at the Army War College in Carlisle. Freed said Carlson appeared at the Cumberland County domestic relations office in March to arrange for a paternity test.
Carlson had been paying a Virginia woman child support for her 9-year-old daughter and she was seeking an increase, Senior Assistant District Attorney Derek Clepper said.
County domestic relations employees became suspicious when another man showed up in April, claimed to be Carlson and wanted to take the paternity test.’
‘A small Russian city just got a really big addition: a 17-pound, 1 ounce baby whose mother had already delivered 11 other children.
Tatiana Khalina, 42, delivered the girl by Caesarean section at a maternity clinic in Aleisk, a town of 30,000 people in the Altai region in southern Siberia, a nurse at the clinic said Thursday. [..]
The daily Moskovsky Komsomolets quoted the local social services chief, Marina Alistratova, as saying the family had modest means. She said Khalina’s husband was on contract with a local military unit.
“We have presented them with a good washing machine, a food package and a card,” Alistratova told the newspaper. “We will keep supporting them in the future.”
An average weight for newborn babies is around 7 pounds, 1 ounce, according to international statistics.’
‘”Water undoubtedly is the most important chemical substance in the world,” explained Elmar Fuchs and colleagues from the Graz University of Technology in Austria in a recent study. “The interaction of water with electric fields has been intensely explored over the last years. We report another unusual effect of liquid water exposed to a dc electric field: the floating water bridge.”
When exposed to a high-voltage electric field, water in two beakers climbs out of the beakers and crosses empty space to meet, forming the water bridge. The liquid bridge, hovering in space, appears to the human eye to defy gravity.
Upon investigating the phenomenon, the scientists found that water was being transported from one beaker to another, usually from the anode beaker to the cathode beaker. The cylindrical water bridge, with a diameter of 1-3 mm, could remain intact when the beakers were pulled apart at a distance of up to 25 mm.’
‘A 15-YEAR-old Russian boy suffered acute frostbite after riding the wing of a Boeing-737 plane on a 1300km two-hour flight.
With temperatures hitting minus 50C and the plane at a cruising speed of 900km/h, the teenager Andrei Shcherbakov collapsed onto the tarmac when the plane landed.
He had clung on for the entire flight from Perm in Russia’s Ural region to Vnukova Airport in Moscow.
His arms and legs were so severely frozen that rescuers were at first unable to remove his coat and shoes.
He was taken by ambulance to hospital where doctors are trying to save his hands.
When he awoke, Andrei told police that he had decided to run away from his alcoholic father and their home in Perm.’
‘Six Catholic nuns have been excommunicated for heresy after refusing to give up membership in a Canadian sect whose founder claims to be the reincarnation of the Virgin Mary, the Diocese of Little Rock announced Wednesday.
The Rev. J. Gaston Hebert, the diocese administrator, said he notified the nuns of the decision Tuesday night after they refused to recant the teachings of the Community of the Lady of All Nations, also known as the Army of Mary.
The Vatican has declared all members of the Army of Mary excommunicated. Hebert said the excommunication was the first in the diocese’s 165-year history.
“It is a painfully historic moment for this church,” Hebert said.’
This is just a bunch of ravers dancing down a street for no apparent reason.
(12.2meg Flash video)
see it here »
‘One Dylan Stephen Jayne of Pennsylvania filed suit against “Google Internet Search Engine Founders” in Pennsylvania Civil court, seeking the small amount of $5 billion dollars. Jayne claims that his safety is in jeopardy because of Google releasing personal information about him.
Jayne asserts that individuals looking to perform acts of terrorism could obtain his information from Google, making it more likely that he will be detained wrongfully in the future. Jayne’s statement of claim is that, “Dylan Steven Jayne, plaintiff, has a social security number that when the social security number is turned upside down in its entirety it is a scrambled code that does spell the name Google.”‘
‘A 24-year-old Argentine man has married a woman 58 years his senior.
The groom, Reinaldo Waveqche, told reporters after the ceremony in Santa Fe, northern Argentina: “I’ve always liked mature ladies.”
Mr Waveqche added: “I don’t care what other people say.” He and bride Adelfa Volpes, 82, are planning to travel to Rio de Janeiro for their honeymoon.
Asked if the marriage was purely spiritual, Ms Volpes laughed and replied: “There is going to be more.”‘
‘Some volunteer firefighters in Vermont have been accused of using Jaws of Life during a vandalism spree, WPTZ-TV in in Plattsburgh, N.Y., reported.
Firefighters usually use the tool to help victims of serious car crashes escape the mangled wreckage. [..]
Police said the four started the spree at the Berlin Mall and Central Vermont Hospital, pulling hubcaps and windshield wipers from cars. The four then headed to the Montpelier park and the town of Northfield, damaging pay phones and stealing street signs, police said.
Police said they got a break in the case in mid-September when someone came forward with information into the case, including that the vandalism may have been part of a dare.
Police said they aren’t sure who dared the four, and the Berlin Fire Department said it never had any involvement in the crime nor did it know the equipment had been used.’
‘A laboratory technician was fired after the parents of a 3-year-old boy claimed she bit his shoulder during a blood test, a hospital spokesman said.
Faith Buntin took her son Victor to St. Vincent Hospital on Friday to have blood drawn because of recent recalls of toys involving lead. She said she saw the worker put her mouth on Victor’s shoulder as she restrained him so another lab worker could draw the blood.
“I looked at her like that was the craziest thing that I’d ever seen,” Faith Buntin said Tuesday. “She looked at me and smiled and said, ‘Oh, it was just a play bite. He’s not hurt.'”‘
‘A 4-month-old boy was found in a darkened room at a day care center with a pacifier taped into his mouth, the Tennessee Department of Human Services announced Wednesday.
The department responded Tuesday to an anonymous complaint that a caregiver at Noah’s Ark Nursery and Preschool in Jefferson City was taping babies’ mouths shut.
Upon arrival, an investigator heard muffled whining from the bathroom and found the boy’s mouth covered with two pieces of two-inch-wide clear packing tape over a pacifier, department spokeswoman Michelle Mowery Johnson said.’
