‘A man cut off his own penis and threw it in a toilet ‘so he would stop sinning’.
The 30-year-old was recovering in the Hospital Clinico Universitario in Salamanca in western Spain.
Doctors said his condition was ‘stable’ and he was not in danger of losing his life. [..]
The newspaper said it was not known if the man’s penis could be sewn back.
There was also a suggestion he may be suffering from psychological problems.’
‘A man robbing a bank demanded the money by writing a note on one of his own checks, authorities say. Not surprisingly, he was caught soon afterward.
Forest Kelly Bissonnette, 27, apparently tried to cover his name on the check, then handed the note to a teller Sept. 5 at the Bank of the West in Englewood, according to authorities.
“We could still make it out even though he blacked it out,” FBI agent Rene VonderHaar said. Nearly $5,000 was taken.’
‘Police said a Springfield teenager claims she dropped a toddler from a second-story window in part because two kids younger than 10 told her to.
Rebecca Woods, 18, is facing child endangerment charges after a 2-year-old boy was dropped two stories from an apartment Saturday.
The child was caught by two boys below and was not seriously hurt. [..]
A probable cause statement said the girl told police she thought throwing the child out the window was a bad idea. But then she held the baby out the window and dropped him about 14 feet.’
‘A woman tried to strangle a mother in a busy car park as payback for leaving four kids unattended in a car while she used a nearby ATM, a court has been told.
The Brisbane District Court was told Deanne Margaret Harris, 44, was so enraged over the incident at Westfield Carindale, in Brisbane’s east, on December 29, 2005, that she confronted 32-year-old Tepurewa Morrison and told her she did not deserve to have children.
When Ms Morrison told her to “piss off” and got into the car, Harris leaned through the window and grabbed her around the neck, digging her nails into her throat.
Ms Morrison grabbed Harris’ hair in an attempt to fight her off, but the fight continued until a passing man separated them.’
‘These kids come up with the bright idea to stand on top of a stack of chairs lined up next to the pool then have a friend run straight at them. It does not go well.’
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‘Bungling burglar Peter Addison was nabbed by police – because he scrawled “Peter Addison was here” at the scene of his crime.
The 18-year old wrote his name in black marker pen on a wall as he and pals raided a campsite and went on a boozy wrecking spree.
Police who arrived to investigate the incident were stunned to find Addison’s calling card plus other messages saying: “Thanks for the Stay” at the Toc H Campsite for under privileged children in Adlington, near Macclesfield, Cheshire.
They checked his details on a computer system and when they caught up with him, he was found to be wearing a T shirt stolen from campsite during the burglary.’
‘President Bush had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day at the Sydney Opera House.
He’d only reached the third sentence of Friday’s speech to business leaders, on the sidelines of the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation forum, when he committed his first gaffe.
“Thank you for being such a fine host for the OPEC summit,” Bush said to Australian Prime Minister John Howard.
Oops. That would be APEC, the annual meeting of leaders from 21 Pacific Rim nations, not OPEC, the cartel of 12 major oil producers. [..]
The president’s next goof went uncorrected — by him anyway. Talking about Howard’s visit to Iraq last year to thank his country’s soldiers serving there, Bush called them “Austrian troops.”‘
‘As Stephen A.’s client was walking him through their ASP.NET site, Stephen noticed a rather odd URL scheme. Instead of using the standard Query String — i.e., https://their.site/Products/?ID=2 — theirs used some form of URL-rewriting utilizing the “@” symbol in the request name: https://their.site/Products/@ID=2.aspx. Not being an expert on Search Engine Optimization, Stephan had just assumed it had something to do with that.
A few weeks later, when Stephan finally had a chance to take a look at the code, he noticed something rather different…’
‘A major part of Don Q’s job is to fly out to construction sites and setup their computer network. Weeks before doing this, Don meets with the project manager to make sure that every one knows what needs to be done and how to do it. It’s up to the project manager to make sure that the workstations, server, cabling, power, etc. are all in place before Don arrives, and Don makes sure to give concise but not insultingly-simple instructions on how to accomplish that. One of these tasks is simply: install the server in a secure and well-ventilated location.’
‘The long and short of it is that by next spring some of the 20 U.S. combat brigades currently in Iraq—perhaps as many as a quarter to a half of them—will be pulling out, and nobody will replace them. This is a mathematical fact, quite apart from anything to do with the upcoming election or the war’s diminishing popularity.
Whether or not you regard this fact as lamentable, President Bush only makes things worse by howling that any pullback would erode American power and embolden the terrorists. Even if his warning is true, for a president to state it so urgently, over and over and over and over, deepens the damage when the storm hits. And given that the storm is certain to hit, it’s irresponsible—it’s baffling—that he’s howling so loudly.’
‘”Have you ever been through the Denver airport? It’s strange. It’s one of the busiest, but I’m telling you, it’s weird. There’s a firestorm of people talking about this thing.”
Especially on June 11, when George Noory devotes all four hours of Coast to Coast, his nationally syndicated talk-radio program dedicated to the “paranormal, extraterrestrial and other topics typically overlooked by more mainstream media outlets,” to a discussion of Denver International Airport. Broadcast on more than 500 affiliate stations, including KHOW, the popular overnight show is the 60 Minutes of conspiracy theories, often with self-educated experts expounding on such subjects as the occult, psychic visions, crop circles, Skull and Bones and apocalyptic predictions. And almost all of these conspiracies intersect at DIA.’
‘The man who threw a rock over a cliff that hit and killed a Wyoming climber expressed guilt and remorse in his first public comments since the Aug. 11 incident.
Luke Rodolph, a 23-year-old Iraq war veteran from Casper, said that he has spent a lot of time praying and reading the Bible and that he accepts responsibility for what happened and won’t try to justify his actions.
“I’d do anything to change it,” Rodolph said Tuesday with tears in his eyes.
Peter Absolon, 47, of Lander, was killed instantly when he was struck in the head by the rock, which was about the size of a bowling ball, while climbing a new route up the cliff face of Leg Lake Cirque in the Wind River Mountains near Lander.’
‘This self help dude pulls a member of the audience up to assist with his presentation and ends up talking her into trusting him as she falls backwards off a later. He then lets her fall to the ground smacking her head on the floor.’
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‘A man who authorities say used his computer to make fake $100 bills to buy lap dances at a strip club has pleaded guilty to counterfeiting charges, federal prosecutors said.
Strippers at Deja Vu in Nashville were suspicious of the bills and called police after Damon Armagost spent $600 of the fake money April 16, authorities said.
When officers arrived, Armagost first told them he got the money when he sold gold coins for $1,400 to an unidentified person.
U.S. Secret Service agents later determined that counterfeit bills with the same serial number had been passed in other parts of the country. When they went to Armagost’s Smyrna home, about 20 miles southeast of Nashville, a family member told agents that an image of a $100 bill had been on a computer there.’
‘Forget everything you know about reducing fractions — it turns out you can just cancel individual digits: [..]’
‘The urethra, unlike other orifices, is strictly designed for one-way activity. There’s no negotiating that – it’s the way things are. I’m not ashamed to admit that at one point in my life I’ve had the infamous STD test which involves the doctor sticking a Q-Tip into your urethra. I learned two very important things from that test: One – I don’t have chlamydia. Two – inserting an object into your peehole HURTS LIKE A MOTHERFUCK. It does. It really hurts. Things aren’t supposed to be in there, and your body has a rather dramatic way of telling you that. But such things are small obstacles to those determined to find new ways of pleasuring themselves – you see, for a growing number of people, inserting objects into the urethra is all kinds of fun.
In the darkest corners of the internet, you’ll find guys sticking all sorts of objects into their pee tubes. For example…’
‘”Chutzpah” is a Yiddish word meaning “unbelievable gall or audacity”. An example of it would be the story of the kid who murders both of his parents, then throws himself on the mercy of the court on the grounds that he’s an orphan.
That’s chutzpah. So is this: multimedia giant Viacom is claiming that I have violated their copyright by posting on YouTube a segment from it’s VH1 show Web Junk 2.0… which VH1 produced – without permission – from a video that I had originally created.
Viacom used my video without permission on their commercial television show, and now says that I am infringing on THEIR copyright for showing the clip of the work that Viacom made in violation of my own copyright!
The clip in question was pulled by YouTube earlier this morning, at Viacom’s insistence.’
‘My senior year of college opened with the customary research projects, grad school applications, and the like. But that all changed two months ago. Some of you may have heard rumors of some bizarre accident that I was involved in. Here is the truth, unabridged, for those who actually want to know.
In the second week of school, the society of physics students held a roughly annual welcome back party. As tradition dictates, we made our own ice cream with liquid nitrogen, 77� Kelvin, as a refrigerant and aerator. We spilled a little liquid nitrogen onto a table and watched the tiny little drops dance around. Someone asked, “Why does it do that?” That may have been the point of no return.’
‘Unscrupulous vendors in Thailand have been selling the flesh of the deadly puffer fish disguised as salmon, causing the deaths of more than 15 people over the past three years, a doctor said today.
Although banned since 2002, puffer fish continue to be sold in large quantities at local markets and restaurants, said Narin Hiransuthikul of Bangkok’s Chulalonkorn University Hospital.
“Some sellers dye the meat of puffer fish and make it look like salmon, which is very dangerous,” Dr Narin said.
Dr Narin said that over the past three years, more than 15 people have died and about 115 were hospitalised from eating the fish.’
‘It didn’t take the sleuthing skills of a Miss Marple or Sherlock Holmes to figure out who was peddling marijuana to teenagers in Market Square.
Police said 28-year-old Eric Hardcastle’s tattooed eyebrows, head and cheeks made him easy to identify.
Late Monday night, a teenager reported being approached by a man with a heavily tattooed face with three baggies of marijuana for sale. Officers said they found Hardcastle — who has a row of arrows over each brow, a tattoo on his forehead and scalp and matching markings on each cheek — soon afterward at a convenience store. [..]
Despite his run-in with the law, Hardcastle said he likes Portsmouth, where he landed two weeks ago after riding with a trucker.
“I want to make it here,” he said.’
‘Reckless teenagers are leaping in front of moving cars on busy roads as part of a dangerous new stunt craze.
Darwin motorist Smokey Lyons said he and his wife were shocked when a young boy jumped at their car on Saturday.
“We didn’t even see him until it was too late,” he told the NT News. [..]
“He hit the windscreen, then bounced off and rolled along the left side of the car. It made a hell of a racket … bang, bang, bang down the side of the car.
“When I looked in the rear-view mirror he was on the ground and appeared to be hurt but then he got up and jumped on the next car coming along behind us.
“We couldn’t believe it.”‘
‘A 14 year old boy from Brevard, North Carolina was nearly killed Sunday while trying to stop his Xbox 360 from overheating.
The boy’s mother told local news that his Xbox 360 kept turning itself off after about 5 minutes. Her son had read online that he could stop it from cutting off by cooling the power supply. “I saw him put the cord on top of a box in the living room”, said the boy’s mother. “When I left to go next door he was playing a game but when I got back he was laying on his back on the floor and unconscious”.
While his mother was away the boy had taken the power supply and wrapped it in plastic and tape. In an attempt to cool it off, he submerged it into a pan of water with the cord still plugged in. The boy had regained consciousness by the time paramedics had arrived. He was taken to the Transylvania CommunityHospital in Brevard where he spent the night.’
‘A man sending a text message avoided being hit by a train going in one direction only to be struck by another train, reported WLWT-TV in Cincinnati.
Witnesses told police the man was looking down at his cell phone as he crossed some railroad tracks around 9 a.m. in Elmwood Place.
Witnesses said the man waited for a southbound train to pass, put his head down and started walking across the tracks.’
‘A 23-year old Serb was found dead and half-eaten in the bear cage of Belgrade Zoo at the weekend during the annual beer festival.
The man was found naked, with his clothes lying intact inside the cage. Two adult bears, Masha and Misha, had dragged the body to their feeding corner and reacted angrily when keepers tried to recover it.
“There’s a good chance he was drunk or drugged. Only an idiot would jump into the bear cage,” zoo director Vuk Bojovic told Reuters.’
‘A dwarf performer at the Edinburgh fringe festival had to be rushed to hospital after his penis got stuck to a vacuum cleaner during an act that went horribly awry.
Daniel Blackner, or Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf, was due to perform at the Circus of Horrors at the festival known for its oddball, offbeat performances.
The main part of his act was for him to appear on stage with a vacuum cleaner attached to his member with a special apparatus.
The attachment broke before the performance and Blackner tried to fix it using extra-strong glue, but unfortunately let it dry for only 20 seconds instead of the 20 minutes required.
He then joined it directly to his organ. The end result? A solid attachment, laughter, mortification and … hospitalisation.’
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