‘Armed police went into action in the German city of Wuppertal after a woman reported seeing a masked criminal — but having rushed to the scene, they were surprised to find not a crook, but a large stuffed toy.
The woman was returning late at night to her car in an indoor car park when she saw the suspected brigand through the window of a parked van, police said Thursday.
Though she later admitted to only catching a glimpse in the darkness, she was sufficiently alarmed to alert the authorities.
Armed officers arrived in three cars and surrounded the van. What they found was a large toy beaver, strapped into the passenger seat.
A police spokesman said he struggled to see how the toy, which has two oversized front teeth, could have been mistaken for a person.’
‘A judge ruled that a teenager will be tried as an adult for the death of an 18-month old boy he is accused of repeatedly swinging against a wall because he was frustrated with the child’s toilet training.
Derris Smith, 18, the live-in boyfriend of the child’s mother, has been charged with murder. He was 17 on June 27, when authorities say he delivered the beating that led to Malakai Glenn’s death four days later.
The boy’s mother, 20-year-old Sasha Glenn, testified Wednesday that the impact of the child hitting the wall left drywall stuck to his head and cracked a wooden door.’
‘The Kansas City Zoo plans to press charges against two teenage boys who allegedly climbed into the hippo exhibit and threw rocks at the two-ton mammals, zoo officials said.
A 14-year-old witness spotted the boys Monday as the hippos were becoming angry and charging. The boys, whose identities were not released, survived the encounter without injuries.
Randy Wisthoff, the zoo director, said the boys, both 14, are from St. Louis and were apparently trying to impress a girl.
The massive hippos, which spend much of their days submerged in water, are often considered one of the most dangerous animals in the world.’
‘The story is about a boy who lives in a cupboard (i.e. “in the closet”). His Aunt and Uncle are ashamed of him because his parents were quite eccentric (i.e. “flaming”) and they are deeply concerned and afraid that he will turn out just like them. On his 11th birthday (i.e. roughly at the onset of puberty), the boy discovers that he is actually a “wizard”, different in both style and substance from normal people, or “muggles” (i.e. “breeders”). The boy is groomed into his new existence by a large, hairy bear of a man who shows Harry a hidden underground community of “wizards” living right under the noses of the general population (i.e. the gay subculture). Harry’s first trip to this subculture involves traveling through “Diagon Alley”, a play on the word diagonally (i.e. not straight).’
‘We get to see a lot of new products and services at TechCrunch, many of them bad; usually it’s a case that they won’t get a run. Then there are those that are so bad they a worthy of mention. Crunchgear’s John Biggs summed it up well in an email to me (see their very brief coverage here): “I was so disgusted that I couldn’t write anymore”. 3D Mailbox has also received attention from the press; Michael Parsons at The Times Online described 3D Mailbox as “The worst software application I have ever seen…a waste of valuable processing power,” Richard Bartle in the Guardian notes “When I first saw the trailer, I thought it was a parody.” Sadly Richard, it’s not.’
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‘A 38-year-old man was arrested after he called 911 and told a dispatcher he was surrounded by police officers and needed help, authorities said.
Police officers met Dana Farrell Shelton after being called to investigate a disturbance at a bar on Sunday but had found no problems and told him to move along.
Shelton, who officers said appeared intoxicated, then called 911 to report he was “surrounded by Largo police,” according to an arrest affidavit.
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“Our officers were standing there scratching their heads. He called, standing there in their presence,” Largo Sgt. Melanie Holley said. “It’s one of our ‘truth is stranger than fiction’ cases.”
Shelton was charged with misdemeanor misuse of 911. The charge carries maximum penalties of one year in jail and $1,000 in fines.’
Hooray for conviction, I s’pose. 🙂
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‘The Braintree Fire Department is investigating how a firefighter training exercise ended up tearing apart the wrong house.
NewsCenter 5’s Rhondella Richardson reported that a Braintree family invited the fire department to conduct a training exercise at their home that was slated to be torn down. But instead of going to 6 Harrison Ave., firefighters ended up a few blocks away at 30 Coolidge Ave. [..]
The firefighters were practicing ventilating burning buildings by tearing holes in the roof.
After waiting for the fire department to arrive, contractors ended up demolishing the Harrison Avenue home.’
‘A couple who authorities say were so obsessed with the Internet and video games that they left their babies starving and suffering other health problems have pleaded guilty to child neglect.
The children of Michael and Iana Straw, a boy age 22 months and a girl age 11 months, were severely malnourished and near death last month when doctors saw them after social workers took them to a hospital, authorities said. Both children are doing well and gaining weight in foster care, prosecutor Kelli Ann Viloria told the Reno Gazette-Journal. [..]
Viloria said the Reno couple were too distracted by online video games, mainly the fantasy role-playing “Dungeons & Dragons” series, to give their children proper care.
“They had food; they just chose not to give it to their kids because they were too busy playing video games,” Viloria told the Reno Gazette-Journal.’
‘Former AFL star Warwick Capper has turned his focus to politics and announced he will run for mayor of the Gold Coast.
Capper, who has recently worked as a Gold Coast “meter man” topping up parking meters on the Queensland tourist strip, said he would run as a mayoral candidate in the March 2008 Gold Coast City election. [..]
Among the 44-year-old’s election policies are the legalisation of prostitution and the introduction of a curfew on the coast’s licensed venues.
“I want to legalise prostitution, I think that would be a good thing,” Capper said.
“I also want to clean the Gold Coast up. [..]
Capper has his own domain name for his website – described as his “online crib” – although his name is spelt incorrectly.
The address is warrickcapper.com.’
‘A 24-year-old Texas mother is in jail after she treated her 2-year-old son’s head injury with a Popsicle instead of calling 9-1-1.
Ebony Thorne’s son Joshua later died of the injury.
Arlington police said the boy fell eight feet down a U-shaped stairwell in Thorne’s apartment Wednesday morning. Investigators said instead of calling for an ambulance, Thorne placed a Popsicle on her son’s head and put him to bed.
When the boy’s father arrived later, he found Joshua unresponsive. Police said he called Thorne’s mother, who drove to the apartment from Fort Worth and called 911.’
‘The nation’s top anti-drug official said people need to overcome their “reefer blindness” and see that illicit marijuana gardens are a terrorist threat to the public’s health and safety, as well as to the environment.
John P. Walters, President Bush’s drug czar, said the people who plant and tend the gardens are terrorists who wouldn’t hesitate to help other terrorists get into the country with the aim of causing mass casualties. Walters made the comments at a Thursday press conference that provided an update on the “Operation Alesia” marijuana-eradication effort. [..]
“These people are armed; they’re dangerous,” he said. He called them “violent criminal terrorists.”‘
‘His power and influence is legendary in his native Melbourne but Eddie McGuire has found out that his name will not open the same doors in Sydney.
The former Nine Network chief executive got a rude awakening when he tried to jump the queue at a motor registry last week. [..]
McGuire’s final tactic was to turn up in person at 4.50pm – 10 minutes before the registry was due to close – go straight to the counter and demand to be served.
But that did not work either, prompting the furious multi-millionaire to demand to see a manager.
After a heated argument with RTA management, McGuire, 42, was told his only option was to take a numbered ticket and wait like everyone else.’
‘Police are investigating a city councilwoman and her husband are under investigation for performing an exorcism on their 18 year old daughter.
Police have recommended the State Attorney’s Office file charges of battery and false imprisonment against Edgewater city councilwoman Debra Rogers and her husband, Daniel Rogers.
Investigators said the couple admitted they tried to exorcise the demons out of their daughter by pouring olive oil on her while they held her hands behind her back on June 27. [..]
Detective Brady said police believe this wasn’t the first time this happened. “This is bizarre, but this apparently was a normal occurrence.”
This time police found the teen’s clothes torn off in the struggle and she had bruises on her arm and knees.’
‘One of my friends used to work in the parade dancing as different characters. After each parade ends, its basically their job to go and shake the kiddies hands without falling too far behind the group. So one Christmas, this friend was dressed in a gingerbread man outfit with this creepy looking face for a Christmas themed parade. When it was time to go around and shake the kiddies hands, this one kid just held on and wouldn’t let go of his massive ginger hand. And now his pack is leaving him behind as they go off to end the parade, so my friend gets level to the kids face and whispers so only the kid can hear, “I’M GOING TO KILL YOU.” The kid automatically lets go. He then gets up and merrily danced away from a completely traumatized and crying child.’
‘Stolen gunpowder went up with a bang when a teenager flicked cigarette ash near the open bottle, according to the Terrebonne Parish Sheriff’s Office.
Alex Joshua Horn and Johnathan Anthony Porche, both 19 and from Bayou Black, remained in jail Wednesday on charges of shoplifting and possessing or making a bomb. Both were arrested Sunday evening.
Wal-Mart workers had called the sheriff’s office that evening, saying three teenagers had been asking about gunpowder and PVC pipe.
About 8 p.m. Sunday, deputies were called to a house in Bayou Black, where they found damage from an explosion in the kitchen and dining room. They also found Horn, a resident of the house, and Porche, who lives a block away.’
‘The first NASA sign at launch pad 39A encouraging the next launch of space shuttle Endeavour at Kennedy Space Center was misspelled and noticed by someone looking at the craft.
When the shuttle rolled out from the Vehicle Assembly Building Wednesday, a giant “Go Endeavour” sign was put on a fence in front of the craft.
However, one item was missing from the sign: the “u” in Endeavour.
Someone spotted the mistake and called KSC to fix it, WKMG-TV reported.
NASA scrambled someone out to pad 39A with a new sign that has orbiter Endeavour’s name spelled correctly.’
‘Auto-finance specialist Nizameddine Hassan Chokr lives the life men crave. He works undercover missions for the FBI, belongs to a Middle Eastern family worth at least $6 billion and can fly fighter jets. By his own “cautious” estimation, the Costa Mesa man is well-educated, healthy and adored.
What’s more remarkable about Chokr is, for lack of a better word, his mojo. His presence can turn female strangers relentlessly horny. Bus stops, cheap hotel parking lots and fast-food restaurants are among the places women have demanded sex from him. He’s not even safe from lust in a donut shop.
Chokr acknowledges it’s not always his striking looks and intelligence that mesmerize women. He has a secret weapon, and when he’s wearing his tight 1992 Fashion Avenue suede pants, the opposite sex can’t resist him.
That is Chokr’s version of reality. Police, on the other hand, say the Beirut, Lebanon, native is one of Orange County’s serial public masturbators.’
This is what happens when your friends decide to throw a hammer to you.
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‘Police helped a Boston man find his lost 3-year-old son at South Shore Plaza, then charged the father with stealing
Officers arrested Jonathan Williams because of what they said he was doing when his boy wandered away, Deputy Police Chief Russell Jenkins said. [..]
Stolen clothing was found in a bag that Williams had left at a customer service desk while looking for his son, Deputy Jenkins said.
He was arrested and charged with larceny.’
If you’re drunk enough, your friends face is a suitable substitute for the baseball.
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A tip for burglars: do the Google search for “how to open a safe” _before_ you begin your robbery.
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‘A man who wanted to bail his friend out of the Marion County jail is behind bars after a high speed chase.
Deputies said he drove to the sheriff’s office with a trunk full of drugs and no ID. The 100 mile-per-hour chase began when deputies tried to check Eugene Allen’s ID at the front gate of the jail. Allen didn’t have any ID, so he sped off, hitting a sergeant’s car and an SUV before flipping over.
Allen faces charges for driving on a suspended license and having cocaine and methamphetamines.’
‘A man armed with a gun has been detained in Tasmania after he attempted to buy an airline ticket, saying he needed to visit Prime Minister John Howard.
The incident this morning came as Mr Howard toured northern Tasmania campaigning.
It is understood the man walked into Launceston Airport this morning and demanded a ticket to Sydney, saying he needed to visit Mr Howard.
He was found to be in possession of a gun and police were immediately called by airline staff.’
‘Although his biting sarcasm in response to unfriendly questions can make members of the White House press corps grumble under their breath, President Bush got a different reaction from a 13-year-old girl who asked him about immigration during a forum in Ohio.
The Washington Times reports Jessica Hackerd was left in tears after Bush gave her a wry “yeah, thanks” in response to her query, drawing laughter from the crowd of 400 in Brecksville, Ohio Tuesday. Bush immediately began to backpedal when he saw the reaction from Hackerd, who told the Times she was crying because she is very shy and was nervous questioning the president.’
‘Council chiefs have ordered an artist to tear down his work after he installed 10 random road signs at a busy junction on a main road – sending motorists round the bend.
More than 100 motorists complained that the signs, which included a no entry sign, a one-way sign and a mini roundabout sign – none of which applied to the road in question in Ashford, Kent – had caused at least 12 minor accidents. [..]
Resident Ann Steare agreed, adding: “I have seen drivers slam on the brakes to stop and stare at it. They don’t know which of the signs to obey. It is amazing that it was allowed in the first place.”‘
‘A female Muslim juror has been arrested in Britain after allegedly listening to an MP3 player under her hijab headscarf during a murder trial, police said Monday.
The woman in her early 20s was spotted by a fellow juror listening to music as she was meant to be helping try the case of a pensioner accused of bludgeoning his wife to death after 50 years of marriage.
She could now be charged with contempt of court and, if convicted, may be punished with an indefinite jail sentence and an unlimited fine.’
‘Divers recovered the body of a 18-year-old boy this morning from a pond north of Greeley after he and a friend had driven an old car into the water during a stunt Friday night.
The 18-year-old, David Griego, and 19-year-old Darren Bucklen, both of Greeley, sped over a dirt ramp they built at the lake’s edge and flew 40 feet from the shore in an older car that they had cut the roof off of, said Dale Lyman, spokesman for the Union Colony First Rescue Authority in Weld County.
The car quickly sank, and the victim and his companion came to the surface, Lyman said.
Friends watched as the boys struggled in the water at 9 p.m. and one sank in 25 feet of water, Lyman said. Apparently Griego was having trouble swimming, possibly because he was injured, Lyman said.’
‘The first U.S. surgeon general appointed by President George W. Bush accused the administration on Tuesday of political interference and muzzling him on key issues like embryonic stem cell research.
“Anything that doesn’t fit into the political appointees’ ideological, theological or political agenda is ignored, marginalized or simply buried,” Dr. Richard Carmona, who served as the nation’s top doctor from 2002 until 2006, told a House of Representatives committee. [..]
Carmona said Bush administration political appointees censored his speeches and kept him from talking out publicly about certain issues, including the science on embryonic stem cell research, contraceptives and his misgivings about the administration’s embrace of “abstinence-only” sex education.’
