‘The Rev. Ted Haggard emerged from three weeks of intensive counseling convinced he is “completely heterosexual” and told an oversight board that his sexual contact with men was limited to his accuser.
That is according to one of the disgraced pastor’s overseers, who on Monday revealed new details about where Haggard has been and where he is headed.
The Rev. Tim Ralph of Larkspur also said the four-man oversight board strongly urged Haggard to go into secular work instead of Christian ministry if Haggard and his wife follow through on plans to earn master’s degrees in psychology.’
‘Two Australians have been jailed for a failed heist which left one of them with a bag of bread rolls and the other with a bullet in the backside.
Benjamin Jorgensen, 38, and Donna Hayes, 36, were sentenced to seven and eight years respectively for the robbery in a Melbourne restaurant.
During the robbery, Jorgensen grabbed what he thought was a bag of money – only to find it contained bread rolls.
He also accidentally fired his gun, hitting Hayes in the buttock.
Judge Roland Williams described the two, who had expected to steal takings worth about A$30,000 ($26,000, ÂŁ13,000), as a “pair of fools”.’
‘A woman arrested for causing a scene at a Valley restaurant spat at an officer and on the drive to the police station threatened to hunt down the officer’s wife and children, investigators said. [..]
As Barnes was being led to the patrol car, she spat at one of the officers and struggled with them, officers said. The woman claimed she was a lawyer and kickboxer, according to authorities.
Once inside a patrol car, she began hitting her head against the window and threatening to kill herself, according to police.
She told one of the officers on the drive to the police station, “I will come after you with a vengeance. I will come to your station. I will never let you rest. I will hunt your wife. I will hunt your kids.”‘
‘I wanna make sure I don’t get hit, so I’m backin’ up..’
(4.6meg Flash video)
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‘The arrest of a man named Steven Howards in June 2006 after he approached Vice President Dick Cheney at a Colorado ski resort and denounced the war in Iraq might have seemed, at the time, no more than a blip on the vice president’s schedule.
But now the blip has become a blowup, with Secret Service agents — under oath in court depositions — accusing one another of unethical and perhaps even illegal conduct in the handling of Mr. Howards’s arrest and the official accounting of it.
The revelations arise from a lawsuit Mr. Howards filed against five Secret Service agents, accusing them of civil rights and free-speech violations. They offer a rare glimpse into the inner workings of the Secret Service, which usually wears the standoffish, plainclothes cool of its mission like a cloak of invisibility.’
Followup to Criticizing Cheney to His Face Is Assault?.
‘Hands cuffed at his waist and a defeated expression on his face, O.J. Simpson listened to a judge blister him Wednesday for “arrogance or ignorance or both” for breaking bail terms in a robbery case.
“I don’t know, Mr. Simpson, what the heck you were thinking, or maybe that’s the problem – you weren’t,” Clark County District Judge Jackie Glass lectured as she doubled his bail to $250,000. [..]
“I don’t know if it’s just arrogance. I don’t know if it’s ignorance,” she said. “But you’ve been locked up at the Clark County Detention Center since Friday because of arrogance or ignorance – or both.”
Simpson, wearing shackles and a dark jail shirt and pants with orange slippers, grimaced as Glass announced she was doubling his bail. He spoke only when asked if he understood the terms.
“Yes, your honor,” the graying football star said evenly.’
‘Gravity: Doesn’t exist. If items of mass had any impact of others, then mountains should have people orbiting them. Or the space shuttle in space should have the astronauts orbiting it. Of course, that’s just the tip of the gravity myth. Think about it. Scientists want us to believe that the sun has a gravitation pull strong enough to keep a planet like neptune or pluto in orbit, but then it’s not strong enough to keep the moon in orbit? Why is that? What I believe is going on here is this: These objects in space have yet to receive mans touch, and thus have no sin to weigh them down. This isn’t the case for earth, where we see the impact of transfered sin to material objects. The more sin, the heavier something is.’
‘A married couple who died in the Central Australian outback used the last of their water on a leaking car radiator, the sole survivor of the tragedy has told police. [..]
A ground search had been mounted to find the man and his two companions after a report was made to police about 9pm (CST) on Sunday that an overdue party was missing after setting off from the Aboriginal community of Kintore.
The man, believed to be aged between 60 and 70, told police that the Pajero station wagon they had been travelling in broke down 116km from Nyirripi two days earlier.
The group then ran out of water after using it to fill up a leaking radiator, he said.’
‘A German man in the northeastern town of Gross Godems was being treated for serious burns Monday after accidentally setting his apartment ablaze when he mixed up a bottle of gasoline with alcohol, police said.
The 56-year-old apparently grabbed the wrong bottle and took a swig from the gasoline flask, then spat it out when he realized his mistake.
The gas hit a lit cigarette, sparking the fire, police said.
The man’s name was not released.’
‘Telephone companies have cut off FBI wiretaps used to eavesdrop on suspected criminals because of the bureau’s repeated failures to pay phone bills on time.
A Justice Department audit released Thursday blamed the lost connections on the FBI’s lax oversight of money used in undercover investigations. Poor supervision of the program also allowed one agent to steal $25,000, the audit said.
In at least one case, a wiretap used in a Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act investigation “was halted due to untimely payment,” the audit found. FISA wiretaps are used in the government’s most sensitive and secretive criminal investigations, and allow eavesdropping on suspected terrorists or spies.
“We also found that late payments have resulted in telecommunications carriers actually disconnecting phone lines established to deliver surveillance results to the FBI, resulting in lost evidence,” according to the audit by Inspector General Glenn A. Fine.’
This is a bit old, and I’ve posted very similar variations of the theme from the same people before. But it’s still kinda amusing none the less. 🙂
(13.7meg Flash video)
see it here »
‘A 20-year-old Burleson man was arrested Friday night after police say he drove a pickup truck into a home while intoxicated.
Bryan Scott Moron was taken into custody after he lost control of a white Chevrolet truck and struck a mailbox on Parkridge Blvd., then continued ahead and drove into a home.
The arresting officer said Moron failed sobriety tests. The arrest report shows Moron had a blood alcohol level of more than twice the legal limit.
Moron reportedly works as a server at a local restaurant.’
‘A man who believed he bore the biblical “mark of the beast” used a circular saw to cut off one hand, then he cooked it in the microwave and called 911, authorities said.
The man, in his mid-20s, was calm when Kootenai County sheriff’s deputies arrived Saturday. He was in protective custody in the mental health unit of Kootenai Medical Center.
“It had been somewhat cooked by the time the deputy arrived,” sheriff’s Capt. Ben Wolfinger said. “He put a tourniquet on his arm before, so he didn’t bleed to death. That kind of mental illness is just sad.”‘
‘A Superior man convicted of having sexual contact with a dead deer has been sentenced to another nine months in jail.
Bryan James Hathaway, 21, had his probation revoked last month for using alcohol and marijuana, lying to his probation agent, and having unapproved contact with a minor child and sexual relations with another adult. [..]
He was found guilty in April 2005 of felony mistreatment of an animal after he killed a horse with the intention of having sex with it. He was sentenced to 18 months in jail and two years of extended supervision on that charge as well as six years of probation for taking and driving a vehicle without the owner’s consent.
Hathaway had just been released from prison for the killing the horse when the deer incident happened. He is appealing his conviction on the deer charge.’
‘Two New York men wheeled the corpse of their friend around midtown Manhattan in an office chair in a failed attempt to cash his $US355 ($405) Social Security cheque, police said.
Virgilio Cintron, 66, had died of natural causes when two of his friends, David Dalaia and James O’Hare, both aged 65, brought him to a cheque-cashing store in the Hell’s Kitchen neighbourhood.
“They were trying to pass him off as still being alive,” police spokesman Paul Browne said.’
‘Two southern New Mexico men are recovering after accidentally shooting themselves while trying to trace a loaded .357-caliber Magnum as a pattern for a tattoo.
The Otero County Sheriff’s Department identified the men as Robert Glasser and Joey Acosta. Both are 22.
The sheriff’s department says deputies responded to the shooting in Chaparral on Thursday evening, but Glasser and Acosta were already on their way to a hospital in nearby El Paso.
Authorities say Glasser was struck in the hand when the gun accidentally went off. Acosta was hit in the left arm. The injuries were non-life threatening.’
‘The craze for bottled water and energy drinks has reached new heights. An Albuquerque, New Mexico company has created specialized drinks made from ingredients that have been flown to space. Microgravity Enterprises, Inc. (MEI) says the demand for their drinks has grown and they are expanding their distribution base.
Antimatter(TM) Energy Drink and Space2O(TM) Purified Water include ingredients that have been launched on board suborbital UP Aerospace rockets. Successful launches of the ingredients occurred in April and June of 2007 at Spaceport America in New Mexico. Antimatter(TM) includes numerous vitamin additives and energy extracts, while Space2O(TM) has special spaceflown electrolytes. Previously, the drinks were only available in the Albuquerque area, but MEI is now expanding distribution to include more cities in New Mexico, West Texas, Maryland, Virginia, as well as the District of Columbia. The products are also available online.’
Waste of rocket fuel, really. I should start selling sub-orbital dildos to yo momma.
‘The boy wanted his father to look at his Xbox 360 video game system.
The father didn’t want to. An argument ensued.
The boy handed his father a rifle. Shoot me, he said.
So the father did.
State police at Fern Ridge say that scenario played out Friday night between 60-year-old James Stanley Niedosik and his 17-year-old son.
The boy ended up in Lehigh Valley Hospital-Cedar Crest with a .22-caliber bullet lodged in his skull behind his ear. Niedosik ended up in Monroe County Prison on $250,000 bail, charged with aggravated assault, simple assault, reckless endangerment and endangering the welfare of a child.’
‘A 32-year-old Californian whose rental car got smashed by a Metro-North train last night was issued a minor summons for causing the fiery crash that stranded railroad commuters for hours.
Bo Bai, a computer technician from Sunnyvale who said he was merely trusting his car’s global positioning system when he steered onto the tracks, was cited for obstructing a railroad crossing, officials said this afternoon. [..]
“As the car is driving over the tracks, the GPS system tells him to turn right, and he turns right onto the railroad tracks,” said Brucker. “That’s how it happened.”
Brucker added, “He tried to stop the train by waving his arms, which apparently was not totally effective in slowing the train.”‘
‘A Spartanburg mother is accused of stabbing her son several times Christmas morning, but her son is the person facing charges.
City police say it appears the mother, 45-year-old Tammy Jones, stabbed her son because he urinated on her while she slept in her bed.
21-year-old Michael Anthony Carson, nicknamed Pooh Bear, is charged with aggravated assault and battery. Police arrested him at his mother’s home on Wednesday.
City police say Jones stabbed her son six times with a butcher knife. He suffered wounds to his shoulder, calf, and chest. Witnesses in the house heard Jones say “why did you pee on me Pooh Bear?” A few moments later, the witness heard the son say “Mama you done stabbed me.”‘
‘A 25-year-old woman was arrested for investigation of second-degree assault for getting into an argument with her boyfriend over whether his dog should be in the bathroom while the couple were taking a shower together.
A police report said the 26-year-old man wanted his dog to join them in the bathroom, but the woman objected on Thursday night.
She told him if the dog wouldn’t stay out, she didn’t want to be his girlfriend anymore. He replied that maybe his next girlfriend would appreciate the dog more, and called her a name.
The police report said the woman punched him in the face several times and the man dislocated his shoulder when the naked couple grappled. He told police his girlfriend threw a picture frame, which broke and cut him.’
Budapest is the capital of what European country?
(7.7meg Flash video)
see it here »
‘Pop star Britney Spears was taken to hospital for tests to see if she was under the influence of alcohol or drugs and for a psychological evaluation after police were called to her home Thursday night to mediate a custody dispute, a police spokesman said.
Spears appeared to be conscious as she was rolled out of her Studio City home on a gurney about three hours after police and ambulances arrived there. [..]
Doctors at Cedars Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles will decide whether to invoke a California law that allows a patient to be held for psychological evaluation for 72 hours, the police spokesman said.
Aerial video provided by local television station helicopters showed Spears on a stretcher and surrounded by police and paramedics as it was rolled to an ambulance near her home.’
‘80,000 blondes are gathered for a “Blondes Are Not Stupid” convention. The leader says, “We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?”
A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.
The leader asks her, “What is 15 plus 15?” After 15 or 20 seconds she says, “18!” Obviously, everyone is a little disappointed. Then, 80,000 blondes start cheering, “Give her another chance! Give her another chance!” The leader says, “Well, since we’ve gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance.”
see it here »
‘Luther Ricks and his wife worked most of their lives at a steel foundry in Ohio. Not trusting of banks, they say they’ve lived frugally, and managed to save more than $400,000 over the years, which they kept in a safe in their home.
Last summer, two burglars broke into Ricks’ home. He shot and killed one of them. Police determined he acted in self-defense, and cleared him of any criminal wrongdoing. But local police did find a small amount of marijuana in Ricks’ home, which Ricks says he uses to manage the pain of his arthritis and a hip replacement surgery. Ricks was never charged for the marijuana. But finding it in his home was enough for city police to confiscate Ricks and his wife’s life savings under drug war asset forfeiture laws. Oddly enough, the FBI then stepped in, and claimed the money for itself.’
‘Coworker #1: So what’ve you been up to?
Coworker #2: The usual. Just whacked off.
Coworker #1: Dude, you’re on speakerphone. [..]
Tourist: Is that train going to 18th street?
New Yorker: Yes.
Doors close.
New Yorker: But you’re not. [..]
Cashier: What will it be?
Customer: Large bucket, large fries, four Diet Cokes.
Cashier: Is this for here or to go?
Customer: Does it look like I can eat all that here?
Cashier: Chill, bitch… I don’t know your life! [..]’
