‘A woman stabbed her husband with a kitchen knife following an argument that began when she accused him of opening a Christmas present early, authorities said Friday.
Misty Johnson, 34, was arrested and charged with aggravated assault and battery, a felony, and misdemeanor domestic battery. Her husband, Shawn Fay Johnson, 34, was treated at a hospital for a wound to the chest, police said. [..]
Authorities said Shawn Johnson called 911 just before 1 a.m. Wednesday to report that his wife had stabbed him. He told police that his wife started arguing with him over his opening a Christmas present, according to court records.
As the argument escalated, Misty Johnson accused her husband of having an affair, authorities said. Police found a marriage license in the couple’s apartment stating they were married in late September.
Police Detective David Thompson said he didn’t know what the present was, or if it was intended for the husband.’
Go ninja, go ninja, go ninja, go..
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‘Two teenagers believed to be imitating the Mortal Kombat video game have been arrested and charged in the death of a 7-year- old Johnstown girl – a sister of one of the suspects. [..]
They began wrestling and enacting a game of Mortal Kombat, court affidavits say. Zoe lost consciousness after being hit, kicked and body-slammed to the floor. [..]
A witness quoted in an affidavit said Roberts told her he had kicked the girl and that his hands were “lethal weapons.”
The witness said Roberts performed a back kick and the girl didn’t get up. He said he and Trujillo “cracked an egg in her mouth . . . in an attempt to see if she was messing around with them” by faking unconsciousness.
The witness said she asked Roberts whether Zoe had asked them to stop. “Yeah, she told me to stop,” he said. Asked why he didn’t stop, he said, “I don’t know; I was drunk.”‘
‘A fruit-picking trip to southern New South Wales ended in the death of a Scottish backpacker who became embroiled in a bizarre row about creationism and evolution.
English backpacker Alexander Christian York, 33, was today sentenced to a maximum of five years jail for the manslaughter of Scotsman Rudi Boa in January last year. [..]
The Scottish couple and York, neighbours at the caravan park, were becoming friends and spent the night of January 27 drinking at the Star Hotel in Tumut.
However, towards the end of the night, an argument between York and the pair about creationism versus evolution escalated into a shouting match at the pub.
The couple, both biomedical scientists, had been arguing the case of evolution, while York had taken a more biblical view of history. [..]
According to Ms Brown, York was making dinner when he attacked the couple outside his tent, stabbing Mr Boa with a kitchen knife as the argument escalated.’
‘A Father Christmas has hung up his Santa suit after he claiming he’s been sacked for saying “ho, ho, ho!”
John Oakes, 70, says he was fired from a department store in Cairns, Australia, for using Santa’s famous greeting and singing carols.
He claims agency employer Westaff ordered their Santas to say “ha, ha, ha” instead of “ho, ho, ho” because “ho” is a derogatory US slang word for a woman.
Mr Oakes told the Cairns Post: “After my shift on Monday, I got a call from my manager telling me my services were no longer required.
“I hadn’t done anything wrong so I asked her why, and she said, “You said ho, ho, ho and that’s not appropriate”.’
‘The mayor of an Arkansas town resigned on Wednesday, claiming he was abducted and brainwashed by Satan worshippers nearly three decades ago.
Centerton Mayor Ken Williams said he has been living under an assumed name for nearly 30 years. He had been mayor since 2001.
Williams told authorities he was born Don LaRose and that in the mid-1970s, he was a preacher in Indiana. He said he was abducted and brainwashed into forgetting all about his life as Don LaRose.
It was a double-life he had never acknowledged, Williams said, because he didn’t even realize it existed until he had recently taken a truth-serum injection.’
‘Carol, who asked that her last name not be used for fear of making herself or her land a target for vandals, called for help recently when she arrived at some vacant property she owns in east Austin and found her security chain gone.
She grabbed her new Casio G’zOne phone from Verizon Wireless, which to her horror made an audible alarm when she called 911.
Fearing vandals were still on the property, she hung up and hid, then put her hand over the earpiece and dialed again to muffle the sounds.
“I was afraid the criminals were down the driveway and they would hear and they would know somebody was doing something and they would come out to stop me,” she said.
The alarm is not ear-splitting, but it is loud enough to be heard at least several yards away.’
<dude> this is belgium at its best
<dude> our minister of defense takes a chopper to fly 60 kms to go see Al Gore's movie about climate change
<dude> beat that
‘Customer: I had an appointment today (Sunday) between 10-12 & nobody came.
Me: OK, tomorrow is the appointment.
Customer: But it was set for the 10th.
Me: Tomorrow is the 10th.
Customer: Somebody is messing with my brain. I have a hand-drawn calendar behind me. So the appointment is for Tuesday, the 10th.
Me: MONDAY, the 10th.
Customer: Whoa, you’re blowin’ my mind here.’
‘Donald Kerr, a top intelligence official with the US government, says that citizens need to change their definition of privacy to match the government’s definition, the AP reports. Appointed Director of the National Reconnaissance Office (NRO) in 2005, Kerr is now the principal deputy director of national intelligence. Kerr is one of many in the intelligence community who finds Americans’ views on privacy to be antiquated and unreasonable. [..]
Americans need to shift their definition of privacy to center instead on the proper maintenance and protection of personal data by government and business entities. Kerr said that “privacy, I would offer, is a system of laws, rules, and customs with an infrastructure of Inspectors General, oversight committees, and privacy boards on which our intelligence community commitment is based and measured. And it is that framework that we need to grow and nourish and adjust as our cultures change.”‘
‘Like Hansel and Gretel hoping to follow their bread crumbs out of the forest, the FBI sifted through customer data collected by San Francisco-area grocery stores in 2005 and 2006, hoping that sales records of Middle Eastern food would lead to Iranian terrorists.
The idea was that a spike in, say, falafel sales, combined with other data, would lead to Iranian secret agents in the south San Francisco-San Jose area.
The brainchild of top FBI counterterrorism officials Phil Mudd and Willie T. Hulon, according to well-informed sources, the project didn’t last long. It was torpedoed by the head of the FBI’s criminal investigations division, Michael A. Mason, who argued that putting somebody on a terrorist list for what they ate was ridiculous — and possibly illegal.
A check of federal court records in California did not reveal any prosecutions developed from falafel trails.’
‘A German flasher stunned lawyers during his appeal hearing on a flashing conviction by stripping off in court, authorities said.
“The court withdrew for deliberations and during the adjournment the man removed his clothes again,” said a spokesman for the court in the western city of Duisburg. “It appears he sees it as art, and views himself as a living work of art.”
The 60-year-old was in court to appeal against his conviction for running onto the pitch naked during a girl’s soccer match and striking a range of “body builder poses”, the spokesman said.
State prosecutors filed fresh charges of indecent behaviour against the man after the court incident.’
‘It was supposed to be 14 feet high and topped with razor wire. It was also supposed to send a message to Washington that if the government wouldn’t seal off the southern border, volunteers could.
Almost two years later, the reality is a five-strand barbed-wire barrier that ranchers dismiss as a mere cattle fence. [..]
On the Minuteman Web site and in e-mails to members, Simcox asked for donations while making big promises, including a vow to build a fence along the border. It was not just any fence; it was to be 2,000 miles of state-of-the-art fencing at a cost of $55 million.
Simcox described it as “our high-tech, double-layered gauntlet of deterrent.”
The fence was described on the Minuteman Web site as 14 feet high, with security cameras and sensors, topped with razor wire and flanked by ditches to stop vehicles. Simcox referred to it as an “Israeli-style” fence, similar to the barrier Israel has erected to keep Palestinians from crossing from the West Bank.’
‘A man is facing drug charges after he allegedly walked into the Danbury police station puffing on a marijuana-filled cigar.
Capt. Robert Myles says Scott Snow walked into the station early Saturday and blew smoke from his cigar into a small opening in the bullet-resistant glass separating desk officers from the public.
Myles says the 24-year-old man was told there’s no smoking inside the building and he allegedly stubbed out the cigar on the counter.
Officers came out and smelled the distinctive odor of marijuana and arrested Snow.’
He may have good dexterity in his fingers, but he appears to be some sort of idiot regardless. 🙂
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You should probably look at what’s in front of you before you go running across a road.
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It’s usually a good idea to close the doors of your car when it’s in motion.
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‘WINK News Now obtained a confidential memo sent around the Collier County Sheriff’s Office. What it showed, sent a shockwave of disgust through our staff.
The question now is, is the new way to get high described in the memo, really being used in Southwest Florida. WINK News Now investigates.
It’s called Jenkem – the ingredients may shock you. [..]
Basically, the new drug is a mixture of solid human waste and urine, turned into a gas that can be huffed. [..]
When our crews asked some students about the drug, they said they never heard about it, and would not be interested in trying it.’
‘A lottery scratchcard has been withdrawn from sale by Camelot – because players couldn’t understand it. [..]
To qualify for a prize, users had to scratch away a window to reveal a temperature lower than the figure displayed on each card. As the game had a winter theme, the temperature was usually below freezing.
But the concept of comparing negative numbers proved too difficult for some Camelot received dozens of complaints on the first day from players who could not understand how, for example, -5 is higher than -6. [..]
The 23-year-old, who said she had left school without a maths GCSE, said: “On one of my cards it said I had to find temperatures lower than -8. The numbers I uncovered were -6 and -7 so I thought I had won, and so did the woman in the shop. But when she scanned the card the machine said I hadn’t.
“I phoned Camelot and they fobbed me off with some story that -6 is higher – not lower – than -8 but I’m not having it. [..]’
‘Police say a Milton-Freewater man died after jumping from a vehicle driven by his wife while their two young children were in the back seat.
It happened when the couple was northbound on Oregon 11 Friday night, and the SUV was doing 40 to 50 miles per hour.
Police say alcohol was a contributing factor but gave no other explanation.
Raydel Gutierrez was 24. He was a passenger in the SUV driven by his 24-year old wife, whose name was not released.
Lieutenant Greg Sherman says the couple’s two children, ages 4 and 7, were in the rear seat.
Sherman says Gutierrez intentionally jumped out of the passenger side and landed on the highway.’
‘7. Not allowed to add “In accordance with the prophesy” to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me. [..]
23. Must never ask anyone who outranks me if they’ve been smoking crack. [..]
29. The Irish MPs are not after “Me frosted lucky charms”. [..]
33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.
34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody. [..]
45. I am not allowed to “Go to Bragg boulevard and shake daddy’s little money maker for twenties stuffed into my undies”. [..]
60. “The Giant Space Ants” are not at the top of my chain of command. [..]
77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them “You don’t need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for.” [..]
79. I am neither the king nor queen of cheese. [..]’
And he doesn’t even notice..?
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‘A man who has proudly showed off his tattoo for 26 years was baffled to realise it actually spelt Coca-Cola.
Vince Mattingley had his name tattooed on his chest in Chinese writing after asking staff at his favourite restaurant to write his name in Chinese symbols.
But a waiter drew the Coke words – and Vince had it etched on his chest.
Vince only realised the mistake when he recently travelled to Thailand and a barman asked him why he had Coca-Cola written on his chest, reports The Sun.’
‘According to Brook Park police, a couple of pranksters could face felony charges after spraying “Fart Spray” into a local restaurant.
Two men pulled up to the drive-thru window at the Rally’s on Snow Road in Cleveland and sprayed a bottle of the offensive product.
The manager of the restaurant wasn’t sure what the substance was.
As a precaution, he threw away more than $1,000 worth of food, and three of his employees wound up going to the Southwest Medical Center to be checked out.’
‘A Glendale couple said they couldn’t afford a baby sitter, so they strapped their 14-month-old son in his stroller at home while the couple went out, police alleged.
Rachel Anderson and her live-in boyfriend, Mitch Laputka, were ordered to stand trial Thursday on charges they neglected baby Gabriel so badly that his body was covered with diaper rash, his body temperature was 12 degrees below normal and he stopped breathing, requiring 21 minutes of CPR to revive him. Police said the couple admitted to leaving the boy home alone because they wanted to party.’
