‘The Army Corps of Engineers, which accidentally dumped sand filled with old military ordnance on Surf City’s beach, now wants the town to help pay to remove it.
Local officials are angered by the suggestion that they should help foot the bill for a federal goof that already has cost the town an unknown amount of tourism business.
“If they’re talking about getting any money out of Surf City to pay for their mistakes, they can forget about it,” Mayor Leonard T. Connors told The Philadelphia Inquirer.
Army Corps spokesman Khaalid Walls said local governments are routinely asked to help pay for projects.
“That’s protocol. All our projects are cost-shared,” Walls said.
The town had to close its beach in March after World War I-era ordnance, including fuses and other military hardware, started surfacing in sand pumped ashore during a $71 million beach replenishment project.’
A pastor says “tits” by accident during a sermon. This was followed up by a candid camera prank where the pastor is told he’s in all sorts of trouble.
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‘Today I come rushing home because it’s the end of the semester and I have finals coming up and I need to write two papers tonight so that I can go camping this holiday weekend with peace of mind so I get home and GIL says, hey honey, you’re just in time! I’m cooking french fries!
Oh that’s good, I say, because I haven’t eaten yet and I have all this work to do. Let me just put my bike away. I walk into the kitchen and notice my computer’s not on the kitchen table. Which. Means. It’s…. oh, SHIT!!!!
I open the over door. No fries. Just one miserable looking laptop. (STOP: EXPLANATION OF WHY I KEEP MY LAPTOP IN THE OVEN: I keep it there because I live in a high crime area in a house with windows that don’t even lock. I figure the oven’s actually a very safe place. Who would think to look there for valuables? and if the house burns down the computer’d be okay. The system worked just fine when I was living alone.)’
‘Two dairy farms have dumped milk after the discovery of a naturally occurring radioactive isotope in 25 nearby drinking water wells.
Officials from Sorensen’s Dairy and Oasis Dairy said they will stop selling milk until it is tested for the isotope, polonium-210, by the Food and Drug Administration. Officials said there’s no known health risk at this time.
A study released Friday by the U.S. Geological Survey found the radioactive isotope in 24 private wells and one public well around Fallon, about 60 miles east of Reno. Polonium-210 is known to cause cancer in humans.’
‘We began receiving these photographs, without any explanatory text, in July 2007. Presumably they document the case of a young boy who somehow managed to impale his nose with a fork, with the first picture (possibly taken in an emergency room or doctor’s office) showing him before medical treatment, and the second showing him some time later after the fork had been removed and his injury had begun to heal. However, we do not yet have any specific information about the origins of these images.’
He looks like he might be secret service or something. In any case, they really don’t want that woman to go past those containers. 🙂
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‘Scientists have explained mathematically why the famous silly walks of Monty Python’s John Cleese have never caught on in the long history of homo sapiens.
The giant, leg-twirling strides of silly walks may enable an individual to leap around swiftly but are simply too expensive in metabolic energy compared with conventional locomotion, according to a paper published by Britain’s Royal Society. [..]
“Inverted pendulum walking is energetically optimal at low speeds and step lengths, and impulsive running is energetically optimal at higher speeds,” they say.
Silly walks gathered cult status in the British television comedy show Monty Python’s Flying Circus, when the gangling Cleese, dressed in a pin-stripe suit and bowler hat, cavorted around as a bureaucrat in the Ministry of Silly Walks. ‘
‘A library patron suspected of selling hundreds of books, tapes and DVDs he had borrowed has cost Denver-area libraries tens of thousands of dollars, officials said.
Thomas Pilaar, 33, was suspected of using different names to obtain seven library cards from the Denver Public Library, then checking out 300 items per card and selling at least some of the items, KCNC-TV in Denver reported.
“It appears his intent was to sell 2,100 (items) from the Denver Library collection,” Denver Public Library spokeswoman M. Celeste Jackson told the station. She estimated the losses at about $35,000.’
‘An Indian suspect was forced by police to eat 50 bananas as a laxative, to retrieve a necklace he was accused of stealing and swallowing.
When the bananas failed to produce the desired effect, police fed Sheikh Mohsin rice, chicken and local bread.
Finally the necklace, which appeared on an X-ray taken on the suspect, was excreted and retrieved.
Mr Mohsin will appear in court on Monday in the eastern city of Calcutta, and could face a prison sentence.’
‘All in all, it hadn’t been a good day. Bad traffic, a malfunctioning computer, incompetent coworkers and a sore back all made me a seething cauldron of rage. But more importantly for this story, it had been over forty-eight hours since I’d last taken a dump. I’d tried to jumpstart the process, beginning my day with a bowl of bowel-cleansing fiber cereal, following it with six cups of coffee at work, and adding a bean-laden lunch at Taco Bell. As I was returning home from work, my insides let me know with subtle rumbles and the emission of the occasional tiny fart that Big Things would be happening soon.’
‘Manuel Cordero’s final booty call cost him his life.
The charming mechanic loved snapping Polaroid photos of the oversized posteriors of neighborhood women. But when Amanda Barrett came over for a ”photo shoot,” a pal named Perry Bailey tagged along — to rob Cordero, Miami police say.
He shot Cordero dead, stealing cash and a credit card, police say.
That’s the story outlined in an arrest warrant released Friday. Bailey, 20, was arrested two days earlier, charged with first-degree murder.
‘Sadly, his love of womens’ physiques cost him in the end,” said Miami Detective Delrish Moss, a spokesman.’
‘This holidaymaker found herself stranded in her deckchair as the tide came in and started lapping at her feet. The woman, estimated by some onlookers to weigh as much as 20 stone, had been unable to get out of the chair after its legs became firmly wedged in the shingle. [..]
But it took coastguards in yellow jumpsuits and wellington boots to rescue the turbanwearing tourist, said to be 49 and from Belgium. Two of them prised her free just as the water came up the beach, watched by a crowd of onlookers.
Ronald Coleman, 74, one of those who witnessed the distressing scene at Westcliffon-Sea, Essex, said: “The tide was racing in. She was lucky.”‘
‘A rural Basehor man reported to authorities that he’d been injured in the groin by a drill during a fight with another man, according to a report from the Leavenworth County Sheriff’s Office.
The incident was reported to the sheriff’s office Wednesday, but is said to have happened July 21, at 15458 Meyer Road.
A Leavenworth man, who was said to be in his 20s, was at the victim’s house working on a car owned by the victim’s sister. The Leavenworth man and the 41-year-old victim became involved in an argument, according to the report.
The altercation became physical and the Leavenworth man allegedly grabbed a drill and pushed it to the victim’s groin area.’
‘Tom Green has on the guitarist from Jackyl and he comes out and slices up Toms desk with a chainsaw. Tom ends up trying to keep his cool at first but is seriously pissed off about the desk and the rest of the interview is almost uncomfortable to watch.’
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‘Whale meat served in school lunches in an area of rural Japan is contaminated with alarming levels of mercury, a local assemblyman said today, calling for a halt in plans for the meat to be shipped to schools nationwide.
Hisato Ryono, a assemblyman in Taiji, a historic whaling town some 450km west of Tokyo, said two samples of short-finned pilot whale had mercury levels 10 to 16 times more than advised by the Health Ministry.
The samples, bought from two local supermarkets, also had 10-12 times more methyl mercury than advised levels, he said.
Mr Ryono and a fellow assemblyman conducted tests after local authorities ignored their calls to have the whalemeat inspected before it was served in school lunches in the town’s kindergartens and elementary and junior high schools.
“We were shocked that it continued to be served in school lunches,” Mr Ryono.’
Not just one roof, two really. 🙂
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‘Iraq’s national government is refusing to take possession of thousands of American-financed reconstruction projects, forcing the United States either to hand them over to local Iraqis, who often lack the proper training and resources to keep the projects running, or commit new money to an effort that has already consumed billions of taxpayer dollars.
The conclusions, detailed in a report released Friday by the Special Inspector General for Iraq Reconstruction, a federal oversight agency, include the finding that of 2,797 completed projects costing $5.8 billion, Iraq’s national government had, by the spring of this year, accepted only 435 projects valued at $501 million. Few transfers to Iraqi national government control have taken place since the current Iraqi government, which is frequently criticized for inaction on matters relating to the American intervention, took office in 2006.’
I had a friend do a very similar thing once with a chair and a fence. Nearly broke his face with the chair.
It was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. 🙂
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‘Party princess Paris Hilton is $60 million out of pocket after her billionaire grandfather – appalled by her jail term for drink-driving offences – axed her inheritance.
Family patriarch Barron Hilton was already embarrassed by his granddaughter’s wild behaviour – notably when her home sex video was leaked on the internet.
But the 79-year-old considered her 23-day sentence last month the last straw.
“He was, and is, extremely embarrassed by how the Hilton name has been sullied by Paris,” says Jerry Oppenheimer, who wrote a biography of the clan called House Of Hilton.
“He now doesn’t want to leave unearned wealth to his family.”‘
‘The state attorney general’s office removed the toll-free number for a sexual assault counseling center from its Web site after an 8-year-old girl was connected instead to a sex chat line. [..]
On Sunday, the girl approached her mother and said she wanted to talk. Carter decided to call the toll-free number she found in the phonebook hoping the operators would offer advice to her daughter. She said she handed her daughter the phone and walked away to give her privacy.
“I come back a few seconds later and she has this look on her face of surprise and then horror and then her eyes start tearing up,” Carter said. “I never thought in my wild’s dreams that she would get a sex line. I was trying to help my daughter.”‘
‘A Kenmore man told Buffalo police that his pants and wallet were stolen while he was in a Johnson Park apartment late Sunday night for a sexual encounter with a woman.
The man said he thought it would be free of charge, but a second woman entered the apartment and took his pants and wallet, demanding that he pay for “services rendered.”
When the man pursued the second woman out of the apartment to get his wallet back, he was confronted by a man who threatened him, police were told. All three suspects then fled in a four-door maroon sedan. The wallet contained debit and credit cards as well as the man’s house and car keys.’
‘Watch the guy in the light blue shirt, as the mini merry go round twirls faster and faster he begins to slowly pass out until he flat out loses consciousness and becomes dead weight.’
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‘People dont realize that being in handcuffs greatly reduces your ability to scratch an itch. While that isn’t a major problem for a lot of people, it is for this guy.’
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‘Whether it’s screaming brats at the pool, impossibly long lines, or stolen luggage, summer vacations rarely deliver the stress-free escape you’ve been hoping for. But stop your bitching. It could be much worse. From Salmonella smeared BBQ pits to amusement park rides that sever limbs (as one did in June to a 13-year-old girl at Six Flags), the season is full of perils most of us are lucky enough to avoid. Then again, the most rewarding experiences always come with a little risk. If you’re tired of the same old sanitary, injury-free, cookie-cutter holiday routine, we recommend the following itinerary from hell. Strap yourself in. It’s going to be a terrible trip.’
I blame terrorist footpaths.
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‘After three years on the ADHD drug Ritalin, kids are about an inch shorter and 4.4 pounds lighter than their peers, a major U.S. study shows.
The symptoms of childhood ADHD — attention deficit hyperactivity disorder — usually get dramatically better soon after kids start taking stimulant drugs. But this benefit may come with a cost, says James Swanson, PhD, director of the Child Development Center at the University of California, Irvine.
“Yes, there is a growth suppression effect with stimulant ADHD medications,” Swanson tells WebMD. “It is going to occur at the age of treatment, and over three years it will accumulate.”‘
‘Authorities say a diver was killed after lightning struck his oxygen tank in Deerfield Beach.
Fire rescue officials say the victim had been diving with three others off a boat yesterday. When he surfaced, lighting struck his tank. He was about 30 feet from the boat.’
