Revenge Nut Shot
‘This guys best friend Dave apparently tried to sleep with his sister so hes serving him a nice warm can of soup…to the nuts. At least now if he does eventually sleep with your sister she wont get pregnant.’
(4.6meg Windows media)
‘This guys best friend Dave apparently tried to sleep with his sister so hes serving him a nice warm can of soup…to the nuts. At least now if he does eventually sleep with your sister she wont get pregnant.’
(4.6meg Windows media)
‘The key vessel of the Japanese whaling fleet, the factory ship Nisshin Maru, is on fire and has been evacuated in Antarctica.
The 8000 tonne Nisshin Maru issued a distress call about 4am eastern Australian summer time after the fire broke out below decks, according to the search and rescue co-ordination centre at Maritime New Zealand.’
‘She bagged him after he was fatally speared by a stingray – but Steve Irwin has overshadowed outspoken feminist Germaine Greer from beyond the grave.
His portrait has replaced the study of the writer and academic on the walls of Australia’s National Portrait Gallery.
The photograph of Greer, who penned a scathing criticism of Irwin days after his death, was pulled from the gallery and a portrait of the wildlife warrior installed in her place last week.’
‘The French military tests their new shoulder fired anti tank missile. The French should stick to firing old baguettes, much safer.’
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‘A truck driver distracted by a digital music player overturned his semitrailer early this morning on Interstate 43, spilling nearly 40 tons of cow intestines and bones and, according to Sgt. Blaine Spicer of the Sheboygan County Sheriff’s Department. [..]
According to the sheriff’s department:
Engle entered the shoulder and was unable to regain control as the load shifted and the truck fell onto its right side in the east ditch.
About 76,000 pounds of beef byproduct spilled into the ditch and onto the freeway. The right lane of northbound I-43 was closed for two hours as crews cleaned up.’
‘US immigration officials insisted the sufferer of an anal infection remove a small piece of medical thread which was being used by doctors to treat the condition. The man required treatment under general anaesthetic as a result.
The man had an anal fistula, which is a painful channel that can develop deep into the anus, caused by infection or digestive conditions such as Crohn’s disease. [..]
The seton was made of a blue braided medical suture material knotted and passed into the hole where the fistula surfaced. After one baffled immigration officer pulled “very hard” on the seton, the patient was given the choice by the baffled immigration officers of either getting on the next plane home, or submitting himself to a procedure to have it removed. [..]
The seton was duly removed by an airport doctor, who claimed to have no idea what it was. The man now requires treatment under general anaesthetic to have a replacement inserted.’
‘A Belle River man who had been campaigning for the past three years to remove a tree stump from Lake St. Clair died late Friday night when he struck it with his snowmobile.
“The one who was concerned about getting it out was the one who got killed by it,” sobbed Grace Case, whose 47-year-old husband Robert Case was pronounced dead on the scene after striking the massive stump just before midnight Friday.
“I’m still trying to understand. This is the worst thing in my life. I lost my life.
“We didn’t have much but we had each other. I’m so mad at ERCA.”‘
‘A policeman watched helplessly as a teenage suspect he had stopped for questioning leaped into his patrol car and sped off early yesterday.
The shocked officer was left standing at the roadside as the 16-year-old girl led police on a 30km chase.
The teenager’s joyride came to an end only after she crashed the car, “absolutely totalling” it according to one police officer.’
‘This guy gets totally owned by a big blue ball. It looks like this started out as a setup but I dont think anyone expected it to hurt that much!’
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‘Fifty soggy yet passionate picketers marched in front of the old armory on San Francisco’s Mission Street today to protest the dirty movies being shot on the other side of the brick walls.
Carrying signs reading “Shut it Down” and “Stop Sex-ploitation,” the protesters demanded that Kink.com, an online pornographer, stop its plans to make X-rated bondage videos inside the building.
But instead of backing down, Kink boasted that it had already shot three videos inside the 93-year-old armory, featuring veteran porn star Princess Donna, who was “expertly suspended above the drill court . . . with no complaints from anyone.”’
This is a video of that woman who smells like a fish.
Followup to: Smells Like Dead Fish
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‘Farms in rural areas are overrun by millions of mice. Video shows a ‘river’ of mice running out from the barn along with footage of the attack on some livestock.’
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‘An Australian couple enjoying a campervan holiday in New Zealand relaxed so much they accidentally left their eight-year-old daughter at a tourist stop.
The couple, who thought the girl was asleep in the back of the vehicle with their two other children, were surprised when police pulled them over in the Te Anau area of the South Island to tell them she wasn’t, the Southland Times newspaper reported today. [..]
Kiwi Discovery manager Tim Barke said the driver noticed the crying girl, who told him her family had driven off without her.’
‘A teenager stopped by a police officer at the Grand Avenue Mall as a suspected truant became disruptive and threw his colostomy bag at the officer, department spokeswoman Anne E. Schwartz said this morning.
The officer was responding to a truancy complaint at the downtown mall Monday at 1:17 p.m. and stopped the youth, who refused to tell the officer his name or age, she said. The suspect then became disruptive and threw his colostomy bag containing bodily waste at the officer.’
‘Guy uses computer to text his roommate a false message about drunk horny girls. Hilarious reaction from confused roommate when he comes back [..]’
(16.3meg Windows media)
‘Fiji’s military regime has banned Australian Prime Minister John Howard and New Zealand’s Helen Clark from entering the country.
The move against the two leaders – both vocal critics of coup leader Frank Bainimarama – follows Canberra’s decision to ban the military leader and his supporters from coming to Australia. [..]
Fiji TV has reported that Howard’s and Clark’s names appear on a Fiji Immigration Department list that bans some people from entry, and others from leaving.’
‘A rubber penis and fake severed head have been stolen from the set of new horror film ‘Hannibal Rising’.
The movie’s director Peter Webber revealed the theft and is convinced the guilty party is planning on selling them.
He said: “There’s a character called Dortlich whose head is severed during the course of the movie. It was stolen by someone. There’s also a scene with a body that Hannibal Lecter is working on. It’s a full-size replica human body, including the genitals. Somebody took the genitals – they had to cut them off. So someone somewhere has got a large rubber penis and a rubber head.”
Webber is going to check internet auction site eBay to see if they turn up.’
‘Indonesia will drop hundreds of concrete balls into a mud volcano in a bid to brake the flow of hot liquid that has displaced more than 10,000 people and inundated entire villages in Java, an official said on Friday.
The torrent of hot mud has been flowing since an oil drilling accident in May in Sidoarjo, an industrial suburb of East Java’s Surabaya, Indonesia’s second-largest city.
Numerous attempts to cap or curb the flow since it started have failed.
But now the government plans to try concrete balls linked by metal chains.’
Followup to Poisonous mud wreaks havoc on Java.
‘NSW transport Minister John Watkins has apologised to train commuters who had to wet themselves or ask for toilet stop because of a lack of facilities on trains.
A number of passengers on the south coast service have suffered the humiliation of wetting themselves due to the lack of facilities on board, The Sydney Morning Herald reported today.
The toilet-equipped cars previously used on the service have been removed for safety reasons and replaced with cars used on the Sydney network that don’t have toilets.
Passengers have reportedly been forced to urinate in cars or wet themselves before the end of their trips of up to two hours.’
‘With the rising use of radioisotopes in medicine and the growing use of radiation detectors in a security-conscious nation, patients are triggering alarms in places where they may not even realize they’re being scanned, doctors and security officials say.
Nearly 60,000 people a day in the United States undergo treatment or tests that leave tiny amounts of radioactive material in their bodies, according to the Society of Nuclear Medicine. It is not enough to hurt them or anyone else, but it is enough to trigger radiation alarms for up to three months.’
‘A commercial Sea Launch Zenit 3SL rocket disintegrated in a fiery catastrophe aboard its oceangoing platform Tuesday, destroying a sophisticated telecommunications satellite payload in a dramatic launch pad explosion reminiscent of the space program’s early days.
The Ukrainian/Russian booster was igniting its main engine when the 20-story vehicle inexplicably fell, triggering a hellish fireball that engulfed the floating Odyssey platform.’
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‘A WDJT-TV (Channel 58) engineer told Muskego police Monday that the loss of the live transmitting van that broke through an iced-over channel on Big Muskego Lake would be up to $250,000.
Crews chipped away ice Monday from the submerged news van, which broke into the channel while the station was preparing a segment on snowmobiles and ice safety. [..]
“This story hits close to home for our cbs 58 family. While doing a story on thin ice yesterday one of our colleagues mistook a frozen channel for a road at Big Muskego Lake. One of our mobile live units wound up submerged in about 5 feet of water. Fortunately, nobody was hurt.”‘
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‘This dude jumps onto a pogo stick and his foot slips off causing the pogo to snap back into his face.’
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