moonbuggy

I find the quiet little “Aah, sheisser” at the end kinda strange.

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`Santa Claus was forced to swap his traditional red and white hat for protective headgear after children pelted him with mince pies in Scotland.

Santa was hit on the head by pastries thrown from a balcony as he handed out gold chocolate coins at a shopping center in the town of Paisley, near Glasgow, at the weekend.

“Health and safety is paramount,” center manager Andrew MacKinnon said on Wednesday. “We issued him with a yellow hardhat equipped with a pair of reindeer antlers to make it look more festive.”’

Or atleast a plane with stronger wings.

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`Children left a school Christmas assembly in tears after claiming a vicar said Father Christmas does not exist.

Teachers at St George’s C of E Primary in Mossley told the Rev Martin Dowland he had upset children after reading `Why Jesus Is Better Than Santa Claus’.

It was during the reading with colleague the Rev Richard Lindsay, of St George’s Church, that Mr Dowland is reported to have said: “You all should know by now that he (Santa Claus) is not real.” Parents said they were stunned. And Mr Dowland, of St Mary’s Church, Haughton Green, said a teacher made him aware some children were upset, but denied he actually said Santa was not real.’

`A couple years ago I put the biggest above ground pool I could find in my living room. The pictures were posted to a bunch of those link collecting sites and almost 7000 people saw the pictures the first day. Every year or so they are rediscovered and they get a ton of hits. However, I’ve never publicly told the story of the pool and why I did it. Avast!

One day my friend Crystal sends me an IM. Here’s a dramatic rendition of the event :

Crystal: OMG! Ty, check out www.penguinwarehouse.com

So I did.’

Related to: Hoax penguin website fools shoppers

That’s a bit of an (un)lucky landing. 🙂

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`Imagine watching your cannabis-smoking son stab himself three times in the stomach right in front of you – and later having to deal with his suicide.

Imagine watching your beautiful daughter become a schizophrenic after using drugs and having to take over the job of caring for her baby.

Imagine realising you had a mental health problem and were seeking help, only to be turned away because the mental health service classified your problem as drug-related.

For years the parents of cannabis users have seen a link between their child’s use of cannabis and mental illness.

Now evidence is emerging that they are right.’

`Children watched in horror as a Santa Claus collapsed and died as he handed out presents at a Christmas party on Sunday.

Andrew Robertson was taken ill as the excited youngsters received their gifts. The 82-year-old was taken to a side room and attempts made to revive him, but he was pronounced dead when medics arrived.’

‘This is from a Brazilian TV Show called DOMINGO LEGAL where hot Women dance like this regularly. Can you really blame him?’

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`A security guard shot himself in the hand Wednesday after a deputy inquired about why the guard’s gun was in its holster with the hammer cocked. [..]

The deputy asked why the gun was cocked and Melendez reportedly told him it was OK, because the safety was on.

Melendez, 36, then began to pull the gun from the holster, as Scozzafava repeatedly yelled “No!”, trying to get the man to leave the weapon where it was.

As he removed the gun, it went off, hitting Melendez in the hand just below the little finger on his left hand.’

‘On Monday, Graef visited CNET’s Second Life bureau for a discussion about her business, how best to set up businesses in Second Life and the nature of competition there.

Unfortunately, as the interview was commencing, the event was attacked by a “griefer,” someone intent on disrupting the proceedings. The griefer managed to assault the CNET theater for 15 minutes with–well, there’s no way to say this delicately–animated flying penises.’

(5.4meg Flash video)

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‘A guy kicks a ball into this chicks face…’

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`Twelve-year-old Beatrice returns from the fields with small animals she’s caught for dinner.

Her mother, Elizabeth, prepares the meat and cooks it on a grill made of three stones supporting a wood fire. It’s just enough food, she says, to feed her starving family of six.

Tonight, they dine on rats.

“Look what we’ve been reduced to eating?” she said. “How can my children eat rats in a country that used to export food? This is a tragedy.”‘

`Officials with the Lafayette Police Department stand by their use of a Taser gun during a Sunday morning altercation with a nude, and allegedly combative, 29-year-old Carencro man, who would later die at a local hospital from unknown complications.

Officials are waiting on an autopsy report to determine the exact cause of Terrill Enard’s death.

According to Lafayette police Sgt. Mark Francis, police believe Enard was under the influence of some type of unknown substance. Francis said Enard was strong, aggressive, combative and unresponsive.’

`Two men left the Northcote Railway Station and were walking east towards Arthurton Road just before 12.30am (AEDT), when three men approached them, a police spokesman said.

One of the trio asked one of the men for a beer, which he was carrying in a plastic bag.

The man handed over the beer but when he refused to hand over more the group surrounded the two men and punched the man not carrying the beer in the face.

The offenders took six cans of beer before fleeing.’

‘School official’s shut down Saint Peter’s Prep High School in Jersey City days before the originally scheduled holiday break, because of a herpes outbreak.

CBS 2 has learned that five members of the high school’s wrestling team were diagnosed with herpes simplex virus type I — a form of herpes that is transmitted when skin comes into contact with open lesions. [..]

School officials decided to close down the entire all-boys private school over the weekend, shutting it down Monday afternoon. [..]

Workers spent yesterday disinfecting all the areas of the school used by the wrestling team, including lockers, showers, and the practice room, officials said.’

`Soldiers trying to seize control of one Mexico’s top drug-producing regions found the countryside teeming with a new hybrid marijuana plant that can be cultivated year-round and cannot be killed with herbicides.

Soldiers fanned out across some of the new fields Tuesday, pulling up plants by the root and burning them, as helicopter gunships clattered overhead to give them cover from a raging drug war in the western state of Michoacan. The plants’ roots survive if they are doused with herbicide, said army Gen. Manuel Garcia.

“These plants have been genetically improved,” he told a handful of journalists allowed to accompany soldiers on a daylong raid of some 70 marijuana fields. “Before we could cut the plant and destroy it, but this plant will come back to life unless it’s taken out by the roots.”‘

`A small airplane apparently took a nose-dive into a tank of raw sewage near Gilroy on Monday afternoon.

Gilroy police Sgt. Kurt Svardal said authorities have no idea where the plane was from or where it was going. The aircraft came pretty much straight down into a holding tank filled with raw sewage at a sewage treatment facility, he said, adding that it was too dangerous for a dive team to go into the water and check for bodies or the tail number of the plane, which would indicate who owned it and where it was from.’

`A masked man shot a taxi driver in the bottom as he was walking home from work in Sydney’s east.

The driver, aged in his early 50s, was walking home along Avoca Road in Randwick at 2.45am (AEDT) when a balaclava-clad man pulled up beside him, police said.

Threatening the driver with a rifle, the masked man demanded money, firing several shots before fleeing the scene in a green Toyota Hi-Ace.

The driver called a friend and was taken to hospital with bullet wounds to his bottom. He is in a stable condition.’

`A hoax American website claiming to sell live penguins that have been farmed in New Zealand has fooled some people into trying to buy the cold water birds.

Penguin Warehouse Inc has offered to ship seven types of penguins around the world, claiming their aim is to “dispel the myth that penguins do not make good house guests”, while also “ridding the house of pesky krill”, Christchurch’s The Press newspaper reported.

An American woman bought a large portable swimming pool, which she installed in her living-room ready for a penguin she dubbed Magellan.’

Poor little kid think he’s going to die. He’ll probably be alright. 🙂

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‘And then we decided to make a ramp van.’

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It’s like pinball. 🙂

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`[An Australian] court ruling has given the recording industry the green light to go after individuals who link to material from their websites, blogs or MySpace pages that is protected by copyright.

A full bench of the Federal Court yesterday upheld an earlier ruling that Stephen Cooper, the operator of mp3s4free.net, as well as the internet service provider that hosted the website, were guilty of authorising copyright infringement because they provided a search engine through which a user could illegally download MP3 files.

The website did not directly host any copyright-protected music, but the court held that simply providing links to the material effectively authorised copyright infringement.’

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Stories from people who’ve had a really bad Christmas. How bad, you ask? Here’s some excepts:

`The next thing we know, he’s on top of her, screaming and spitting. His face was all red, and all I could hear were words like “whore” and “bitch.” Before we could do anything, he snatched up the corkscrew and put both my mom’s eyes out.’

`Two Christmases ago my parents went to pick up my grandparents from some friends, and some drunk idiot caused a car crash, which they all died in. Dad was actually in a coma for a bit, but they turned the machines off on January 3rd. Everyone else died on impact. Mom was beheaded by a piece of metal flying through the windscreen.’

`I got so drunk I covered myself in peanut butter and started screaming, “Where’s that fat Santa with the jelly, we need a sandwich bitch!”‘

`The screams were louder than the roar of the engines when more than 100 passengers on board a Saudi plane fought off an invasion by 80 stowaways: mice.

Al-Hayat newspaper reported on Friday that the mice escaped from the bag of a traveler on the internal Saudi Arabian Airlines flight and started falling on the heads and scurrying between the feet of panic-stricken passengers.’

`Everything on the desk was blackened with soot and burned either partially or completely. Three external hard drives, a digital camera, videotapes, papers, CD’s, etc. The floor, wall, and radiator cover were burned, along with the tabletop.

Every cable that was connected to the laptop, Ethernet, Firewire, Power, and USB, was forcibly shot out of each portal, and each portal covered with the black soot. Metal bits and electronic debris from the power cable hub and other cables was scattered around the room and some wires had split apart into copper shreds. Molten silver metal flecks are still lodged in the windowsill.

A supervisor arrived later that day and after surveying the scene and materials, conceded that their company had caused the accident. He noted, in particular, the internally fried coaxial cable.’

This guy is even worse than the pickle woman. He runs like a motherfucker at the merest sight of a peach.

(6.9meg Windows media)

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`The Tigers are satisfied they won’t see a recurrence of the right wrist and forearm inflammation that sidelined Joel Zumaya for three games of the American League Championship Series.

Why? Club president and general manager Dave Dombrowski told WXYT-AM (1270) on Wednesday the team had concluded Zumaya’s injury resulted from playing a video game, not from his powerful throwing motion. [..]

Zumaya, 22, was known to play “Guitar Hero,” a PlayStation 2 game in which a player uses a guitar-shaped controller to simulate the performance of popular songs.’