‘A man accused of robbing a Belfast lingerie shop at knifepoint has fallen back on a time honoured defence – namely, his claim that he believed he was a female elf at the time.
Belfast Crown Court was told by the prosecution that 45-year-old Robert Boyd from Broadlands, Carrickfergus had held up the shop, Orchid, while disguised in a wig, hat and sunglasses. He allegedly made off with bras, knickers, stockings and suspender belts.
However, Boyd’s defence maintain that at the time, Boyd believed that he was a elf, having been playing the cyberpunk role-playing game Shadowrun.
More specifically, he believed that he was a female shaman (meaning a natural magic user) elf named Beho, and that he thought he was armed with a samurai sword. Boyd admits that he may have ‘blurred reality and fantasy’.’
‘As authorities stormed into a middle school office to arrest an alleged meth-dealing principal inside, they found an even more surprising scene inside. Sources said 50-year-old John Acerra, of Allentown, was naked and watching gay pornography when they arrived at Nitschmann Middle School in Bethlehem to arrest him on Tuesday.
Acerra also had sex toys, drugs, cash and a pipe in his school office when authorities stormed his office, the sources added.
He remained jailed on $200,000 bail Thursday night, police said.’
Followup to: Principal Accused of Selling Meth
‘Britney Spears has flipped her lid in rehab, trying to hang herself with a bedsheet after screaming “I am the anti-christ” to frightened staff.
She made the demonic cry after scrawling the devil’s number “666” across her head. [..]
The ordeal began when she terrified staff by writing the number of the beast on her head and running around the clinic screaming, “I am the anti-christ!”
“The clinic people just didn’t know what to do,” a friend claimed.
The pop star then tried to hang herself with a bedsheet was but was found before she could hurt herself.’
This guy skis off the edge of a rather high cliff. Seems alright.
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‘Separated by adoption in their native East Germany, the siblings met for the first time in 2000 when Patrick tracked down his birth mother and the younger sister he had never met.
If their mother, Ana Marie, were alive today, however, she would, in all likelihood, be wishing her estranged son had never found his way home.
Because for the past seven years, brother and sister have been lovers. In that time they have had four children together – two of whom are mentally and physically disabled and all of whom are now in care.
And despite the fact that 29-year-old Stuebing, an unemployed locksmith, has already served two jail sentences for committing incest with his sister, now aged 22, the couple defiantly refuse to give each other up. ‘
‘A man who was found dressed in latex and handcuffs brought a donkey to his room in a Galway city centre hotel, because he was advised “to get out and meet people,” the local court heard last week.
[..] He was also charged with damage to a mini-bar in the room, but this charge was later dropped when the defendant said that it was the donkey who caused that damage. [..]
“Mr McCarney has been attending counselling at which he was told that he would be advised to get out and meet people and do interesting things. It was this advice that saw him book into the city centre hotel with a donkey,” [his solicitor] said. She added that Mr McCarney also suffered from a fixation with the Shrek movies and could constantly be heard at work talking to himself saying things like “Isn’t that right, Donkey?”’
‘Sigourney Weaver, I’m coming after you bitch!’
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‘Belgium Police used water cannons and firemen fought back with foam and thrown objects after a labor protest got out of hand in the Belgian capital. About two-thousand firefighters were protesting close to the Belgian parliament. When they tried to break through security barriers, about 300 police tried to keep them back — and that’s when the trouble started. Police say three officers suffered facial injuries when the firemen pelted them with equipment and loose objects. Three firefighters were hospitalized, one of them for broken ribs after he fell off a water cannon. The firemen want better working conditions, earlier retirement, and better injury compensation.’
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‘An Italian teacher has been suspended by her school in Milan after cutting off the tongue of a lively 7-year-old child with a pair of scissors, daily Corriere della Sera reported Tuesday.
The boy has since had his tongue stitched back but is afraid to go back to school. His parents say he suffers nightmares and runs away whenever he sees a knife. They are now suing the school for damages. [..]
According to Corriere, the 22-year-old substitute teacher threatened the child twice with a pair of scissors before actually chopping it off.
‘Pull out your tongue. I’ll cut it, and you’ll no longer talk,’ she was quoted as telling the child.
The teacher, who has only been identified by her initials R S, has since apologized, claiming it was an accident.’
‘Pakistani police have arrested two men after a village woman complained that her husband and relatives had sold one of her kidneys in order to buy a tractor, police said on Tuesday.
Although her kidney had been removed 18 months earlier, the woman, named Safia, only learnt it was missing after seeking treatment for a urinary tract problem in January.
“She has said that she was three months pregnant when her husband, Shakeel Ahmed beat her and then took her to the hospital for treatment,” said Mohammad Akram, duty officer at Noushera Jadeed police station in Punjab province.
“But at the hospital her husband, in connivance with three other people, sold her kidney to buy the tractor,” he said.’
‘Police have arrested and charged two students Friday in an attack on a Germantown High School over an iPod, according to other students and police.
Officials said 60-year-old math and photography teacher Frank Burd broke two bones in his neck.
“You could hear it break. You could hear when he fell on the ground,” said Synquetta Reid, a student who saw the incident.
School officials said the teacher had taken an iPod from a student during class, and after class, two students were waiting in the hall for him. One student pushed him and another threw a punch.
“He fell … on his face. After that, they turned him over and there was all this blood,” Reid said.’
‘A man is in a serious condition in hospital after he was stabbed and pelted with puppies when he tried to stop thieves stealing rare dogs.
The man found an intruder stealing dogs when he returned with a friend to her home in suburban Melbourne late last night.
“As they’ve approached her property they’ve seen a man running out of the premises with five jack russell-cross-dachshund puppies,” police spokesman Adam West said.
The thief was attempting to drive off with the dogs when the unidentified man ran up to the car and began kicking it. The intruder responded by throwing two of the puppies at him.
“As he’s kicking the car another man’s got out of the car and stabbed him several times, causing serious injuries,” West said.’
‘One of the elephants, Topsy, was known for having a bad temper, and had killed three people in the last three years. After the last killing, it was decided that she had to be destroyed by hanging. Note, I am making none of this up. New York’s ASPCA protested that hanging was cruel, citing the fact that it had been replaced by electrocution in the NY penal system. Luna Park’s owners took the protest in stride, and decided that electrocution would be the kindest solution, and one that they could sell tickets for! They enlisted the willing Thomas Edison to help with technical matters.’
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I don’t entirely understand why he was doing what he did. But he certainly did it.
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‘An American senior citizen aboard a tour bus killed an alleged mugger by breaking his neck with his bare hands while his traveling companions fended off two other assailants in the Atlantic coast city of Limon, police said.
The American, who is about 70 years old and retired from the Marines, put the 20-year-old in a head lock and broke his neck after the suspect and two other men armed with a knife and .38 caliber gun held up the tour bus, said Luis Hernandez, the police chief of Limon, 80 miles east of San Jose.
“His neck was completely snapped,” Hernandez said.’
This girl gets turned on by having sharp knives run across her skin.
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‘Men in parts of Tanzania’s main city, Dar es Salaam, are living in fear of a night-time sex attacker.
A BBC correspondent says the attacks are being blamed by some on a demon called “Popo Bawa” meaning winged bat.
Some men are staying awake or sleeping in groups outside their homes. Others are smearing themselves with pig’s oil, believing this repels attacks.’
‘A 37-year-old woman who died in a crash at Dilston yesterday morning had three stab wounds to the chest.
The woman’s Hyundai was found about 70 metres from the East Tamar Highway about 5.50 am.
A kitchen-type knife was found embedded in the woman’s chest.
She died at the scene after police arrived without speaking to them.
Detective-Inspector Mike Otley said police were investigating whether the wounds were self-inflicted.
“We are treating it as a sudden death,” he said.
It is believed there are no suspicious circumstances.’
The cop even tries to get him a job. Hilarious. 🙂
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‘The naughty prints are only “kind of” sponsored by Greenpeace because Exit3a copywriter Tom Mullen admits to AdCritic they haven’t told the organization about the print series yet. “It’s probably not legal, but there’s too much paperwork, meetings and phone calls involved to get the campaign approved in time for Earth Day,” he explains. “I figure Greenpeace is too busy getting sued by conglomerates to bother suing a few people who are trying to promote the cause. They can always officially deny the vulgarity.”
If fortune favours the brave, perhaps that grace extends to those disinclined to ask permission for slapping mom-fucking ads out into the open and signing it Greenpeace.’
‘A southeast Queensland man has been charged with attempted murder after allegedly putting a woman in a car with a hose from the exhaust pipe feeding into the vehicle, and then raping her.
Police said the 60-year-old woman fell asleep in her home in Bundaberg between 6pm (AEST) on Sunday and 3am yesterday after feeling odd following a meal.
She was woken by a man who allegedly put her in a car where a hose had been fed into the vehicle from the exhaust pipe.
It’s alleged the woman was raped before being able to leave the vehicle.
A 62-year-old man has been charged with attempted murder [..]’
‘To the locals, it’s the “McMissile” case.
And like the name, the details of it spill forth like a bad joke: A woman is driving north on Interstate 95. Three kids squirm in the back seat, and her sister, six months pregnant and having early contractions, sits in the front. The stress starts to simmer. Traffic slows, then crawls, then creeps. More stress. A car cuts in front of her, then scoots away. A short time later, it darts in again. She can no longer take it. She veers onto the shoulder and speeds up. Wham! She tosses a large McDonald’s cup filled with ice into the other car. [..]
The jury sentenced her to two years in prison, the minimum, and a judge will formally impose a sentence Wednesday. Under state law, the judge can only decrease the jury’s sentence.
“We didn’t think it would go this far,” Hall said in an interview at the Rappahannock Regional Jail. “Two years! What did I do?”‘
This is a press conference given by the people behind those ‘Suspicious Packages’ That Paralyzed Boston Part of Cartoon Network Marketing Campaign. It’s pretty funny. 🙂
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