moonbuggy

I blame the parents. Gotta catch them all? Catch some sorta anti-retardation disease first, I reckon.

see it here »

`Albino he-she, seeks smiliar. Call 020 7800 919′

Just another one of these images that makes your brain go “WTF?”.

Not safe for work, unless your boss is on Christmas holidays already.

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`THIS IS AN ESTATE ITEM.IT WAS INSTAULLED AND REMOVED AND IS IN GREAT SHAPE..WHO KNOWS I MIGHT NEED IT IN 20 YEARS..LOL’

`A plumbing problem at a Spokane home turned out to be a naked man. Police say a woman who thought she was having a problem with water pipes beneath the floor called the Water Department. Employees found the basement barricaded, and when they determined there was someone behind the door, they called police.

Police broke through the door, found the naked man and took him into custody. They searched the basement but found no clothing for the man. They also found that a pipe had been broken and repaired.’

‘A taxi driver in Denmark bit off the tip of a 48-year-old man’s finger in a brawl over how many people could fit in the cab, police said Monday.

The dispute started early Sunday morning, when a group of five men hailed a taxi in downtown Odense, a city in central Denmark.

Police said things got out of hand when the 37-year-old driver insisted he could only take four passengers. [..]’

You could easily fit five if two of them were midgets.

`A man is facing jail after slapping a passer-by with a fish.

Alan Bennie, 20, was walking through a park when he was approached by assailant David Evans, who was carrying a fish. [..]

[The prosecutor] said: “The accused asked the complainer ‘Do you want to kiss my fish?’

“Mr Bennie made no reply and walked on, at which point the accused said: ‘You answer me next time I ask you to kiss a fish’, and slapped him round the face with it.”‘

‘A “trophy” video appearing to show security guards in Baghdad randomly shooting Iraqi civilians has sparked two investigations after it was posted on the internet, the Sunday Telegraph can reveal.

The video has sparked concern that private security companies, which are not subject to any form of regulation either in Britain or in Iraq, could be responsible for the deaths of hundreds of innocent Iraqis.

The video, which first appeared on a website that has been linked unofficially to Aegis Defence Services, contained four separate clips, in which security guards open fire with automatic rifles at civilian cars. All of the shooting incidents apparently took place on “route Irish”, a road that links the airport to Baghdad.’

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: motherfucking cunts.

(1.4meg Windows Media)

Update: More about cunts shooting innocent people. And some more video. (5.5meg Windows Media)

see it here »

I put a link to the crazy Trading Spouses woman a while back. Here’s a longer and crazier version of the clip. Absolutely hilarious.

(10.3meg Windows Media)

see it here »

I’ve blogged this before. But this version has funky music to go along with it.

Not safe for work. Unless your boss is particularly loose, I s’pose.

see it here »

`”A drunk who claimed he had been raped by a dog was yesterday jailed for 12 months by a judge. Martin Hoyle, 45, was arrested by police after a passing motorist and his girlfriend found a Staffordshire bull terrier, called Badger, having sex with him at the side of a road in Huddersfield, West Yorkshire.

Prosecutor Ben Crosland said the couple had stopped to help because they thought Hoyle was being attacked by the animal. But when they got closer they saw that he had his trousers round his ankles, was down on all fours and the dog was straddling him from behind.

“The defendant mumbled something about the dog having taken a liking to him,” said Mr Crosland. “The couple were extremely offended and sickened by what they saw.” Another passing motorist contacted the police and Hoyle was arrested as he walked with the dog down the road.

Hoyle, of East view, Marsh, Huddersfield, told police “I can’t help it if the dog took a liking to me. He tried to rape me.”‘

`Lebianism ’bout to take over our comminuty .. I’m talkin’ about YOUNG GIRLS!

My son in high school last year, trying to go to the prom, he said “Dad, I ain’t got nobody to take to the prom because all the girls in my class are gay, and ain’t but two of them straight and both of dem ugly.”‘

And it gets so much better. 🙂

`Anytime somebody gotta slap some grease on your behind dere’s somethin’ wrong wid dat. YOUR BUTT AIN’T MADE FOR DAT! [..]

No wonder yo behind is bleedin’!’

(740k mp3)

see it here »

Standard Podcast Play Now | Play in Popup

Another fat lady fipping out.

(2meg Windows Media)

see it here »

`A Christchurch beneficiary has complained to the State Services Commission after her Work and Income case manager allegedly left an obscenity on her voicemail.

Sickness beneficiary Andrea Metcalfe claims her case manager ended a message on her answerphone about her next appointment by calling her a “cunt”.

Work and Income has investigated and exonerated the case manager, saying the words she used were: “Thanks, ta.”

Social Development Ministry chief executive Peter Hughes blamed the New Zealand accent and audio “drop out” on its phone network for the confusion.

“The ministry’s phone system, while cutting edge, does experience drop outs,” he said. “This, coupled with a Kiwi accent, can result in words being swallowed. We believe what has been recorded is the hitting of the K and T.”‘

It’s a goatse sorta thing.

Now, if only I could find the biphallic version.. [chuckle] 🙂

Update: Now with a working picture.

see it here »

Not very nice for the fish, but interesting anyways.

(3.2meg Flash video)

see it here »

`Drunk husband John Cole faced the scales of justice for hitting his wife Elaine with a fish.

A court heard the hung-over former fork-lift driver woke up in a rage thinking she had hidden two cans of beer.

He punched the ex-barmaid after hitting her with the 8lb pike from their kitchen during Tuesday’s row. [..]

After Wednesday’s hearing, regretful Cole said he couldn’t bring himself to eat the pike.

He revealed: “I fed it to our cats and dogs.”

Elaine, 49, said she forgave him but added: “I could’ve been seriously hurt or killed by that fish.”‘

The astronaut of the internet..? I don’t know.

I can see half of a testicle, so that probably means it’s not safe for work. 🙂

see it here »

A strange and probably offensive flash animation.

I’m a bit confused by it, really.

Relatively large, but it is absolutely hilarious.

Worth the download. 🙂

(7.5meg .wmv)

Seriously, not safe for work. Not safe for home.

If you think the main link is bad, try this or this or this.

Better yet, don’t try any of them at all.

`Saaya Irie, an 11-year-old Japanese girl, may not be that miracle, but she has clearly played a part in pacifying a certain segment of China’s population, according to Shukan Bunshun.

If anything about Saaya is miraculous, it’s her body — she wears an F-cup bra, though she has yet to reach her teens. So when a photo of her in a bikini was posted on a Chinese Internet forum called “100,” she immediately caused a sensation.

The pic was accompanied by message — rendered in mock Marxist rhetoric — reading: “An 11-year-old Japanese girl with large breasts has a proclamation for all Chinese people! Dear elder brothers, a beautiful young Japanese girl is beseeching you.

“Please stop these anti-Japanese hijinks. If you don’t, I won’t like you anymore.”

At the end of the message, she states that her breasts would “rise up” if the people “unite for the sake of China’s democracy.”‘

Here’s some pictures of Saaya Irie so you can see if she eases any tension you might have.

`He arrives and then she takes two 2 to 2 1/2 inch long thin nails and a hammer and tells him to drive the nails all the way down on the table though each of my nipples. Next she goes around to the back of me and then pulls my pussy lips apart and then she gets smaller nails and then tells him to drive the smaller nails through each of my pussy lips to the corner of the table edge so that when you stand behind me, you can see deep inside of me.’

It gets worse.

who took my frog
who found my frog

`A Welsh rugby fan has reportedly cut off his own testicles to celebrate Wales beating England at rugby.

Geoff Huish, 26, was so convinced England would win Saturday’s match he told fellow drinkers at a social club, “If Wales win I’ll cut my balls off”, the Daily Mirror reported today.

Friends at the club in Caerphilly, south Wales, thought he was joking.

But after the game Huish went home, severed his testicles with a knife, and walked 200 metres back to the bar with the testicles to show the shocked drinkers what he had done.’

(19meg Flash video)

see it here »

Not safe for work at all. I don’t know why someone would go to the effort, really..

(3.6meg Flash video)

see it here »

‘Australian Guantanamo Bay detainee Mamdouh Habib was tied to the ground while a prostitute menstruated on him after he failed to co-operate with interrogators, his lawyer said yesterday.

Interrogators also told the Sydney man they had killed his family and superimposed animals’ heads on photos of his wife and children, Mr Habib’s lawyer Steven Hopper said yesterday.’

I wonder how many menstrating prostitutes the US Government keeps on its payroll. Because you never know when you’ll need one.

[shrug] Cunts.

‘A woman today admitted ripping off her ex-boyfriend’s testicle with her bare hands after he refused to have sex with her. [..]

In a statement read out by judge Charles James, Mr Jones continued: “I was left standing in my underpants. She was still lying on the floor.

“Suddenly she grabbed my genitals and pulled hard. That caused my underpants to come off and I found I was completely naked and in excruciating pain.”

Referring to his friend Danny McDonagh [..] Mr Jones said: “I believe Danny walked out shortly afterwards. He came into the kitchen and said to me, ‘That’s yours’, and I saw that he was holding one of my testicles in his hand.”‘

‘A mayor who set up a direct hotline for people to call with civic problems is asking bored housewives to stop inviting him round for sex. [..]

He said many come straight out and even invite him round for sex, local daily Libertatea reported. Mayor Anghel said: “The number was meant for complaints but some women took it as a sex hotline.”‘